by James Roy
‘Nothing’s going on,’ I said.
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, totally’ I said. ‘What could be going on?’ Then I laughed. ‘Do you think that me and Nerdstrom … Are you serious? Like I’d be hanging out with him!’
And Nerdstrom started taking his books out of his bag, and I heard him say, real quietly to himself, ‘Yeah, as if that would happen.’
28 THE POEM
That Wednesday me and Nerdstrom had our usual maths thing in the library. It was taking me heaps less time to do my maths, and I was really hoping that Mr Sigsworth would soon be able to tell my parents that I didn’t need to be tutored anymore.
So we were sitting there, and I was doing my maths, and I glanced up at Nerdstrom, who had a folder open in front of him rather than his usual fat, dweeby fantasy book. His lips were moving as he read from a piece of paper in the folder.
‘What are you reading?’ I asked him.
‘What? Oh, just a poem.’
I tried not to laugh. ‘A poem? Why?’
He seemed embarrassed. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he said.
I reached across and grabbed the folder before he could react. ‘Let me see,’ I said. I started to read the poem. It was all crazy, with words I’d never seen before. ‘What is this?’
‘I told you, it’s a poem.’
‘Yeah, I know, but it’s in some other language. What’s a brillig? And what’s a borogrove? And a manxome? What does manxome mean?’
He snatched the folder back. ‘It’s nonsense. Just forget about it.’
But I wasn’t satisfied with his answer so I said, Why are you reading that stupid poem anyway? I could write a better poem than that. And I’d use real words.’
Then Nerdstrom laughed, which was pretty rude, I thought. ‘You could write a better poem? I doubt it.’
‘Why do you doubt it?’
‘Because “Jabberwocky” is a classic.’
I snorted. I’d been starting to think that Nerdstrom maybe wasn’t as kooky as I’d always thought he was, but now I was changing my mind back again.
‘Classic?’ I said. ‘You are a serious oddball, Nerdstrom.’
‘Maths,’ he said.
29 STUPID CASEY
That Thursday Casey did something stupid. I’d always thought he was a bright little guy who showed some real promise, and then he went and did something really dumb.
Me and Jared were sitting down near the oval eating our lunch when we saw Casey wandering past at the head of his posse, which was bigger now, maybe six or seven kids, and some of them were in Year Two. He’d turned into a good leader, I thought. I was actually kind of proud of him.
But what he did next wasn’t the kind of thing I’d taught him to do. He walked up to us, bold as anything, and asked me, ‘Have you got any lollies today?’
I said, ‘No, not today.’
And Jared went, ‘No, we haven’t got anything for you, so get lost.’
That was when Casey did something unexpected, and maybe he was showing off to his friends, but he poked his tongue out at Jared, and said, ‘You shut up, you big idiot.’ And that would have been OK, and even a bit funny, except that when Jared stood up slowly and started to move towards him Casey hardly even flinched or anything. He just got this smug little smile on his face, and he said, ‘What are you going to do? Max is sitting right there.’
I said, ‘Yeah, I am, but if you’re rude to us Jared can still thump you. I’ll let him.’
And Jared looked at me then, and he said, ‘I don’t need you to give me permission to thump little kids.’
He had a point, I suppose, but that didn’t stop Casey from saying, ‘Yes, you do. You don’t do anything without Max saying it’s OK.’
That cut Jared, I reckon, and he took another step towards Casey and said, ‘I’ll still thump you.’
I could hardly believe what Casey said next. He went, ‘There’s heaps of us and only two of you. Plus there are teachers all over the place.’
‘I’ll do it when none of the teachers are around,’ Jared said. ‘Little kids don’t scare me. I’ll punch you good.’
But Casey was still ahead of him. He said, ‘You’re going to Red Hill High next year, aren’t you?’
Yeah. So?’
‘Well, guess what? So does my brother, and Liam’s brother, plus Harry’s sister, and she’s real mean. And you and Max won’t be the biggest kids in the school then. So see you.’
And they walked away.
‘He thinks he’s so smart,’ Jared muttered.
‘That’s because he is,’ I said.
30 NERDSTROM KNOWS IT
That Friday in maths tutoring, Nerdstrom had his book again. I said, ‘What, no poem today?’
He shook his head. ‘I already know it,’ he said.
‘You know it? Really?’
‘Yes. I know it off by heart.’
‘Off you go then,’ I said.
‘What?’
‘I’m waiting. Say the poem.’
But Nerdstrom shook his head. ‘No way. I’m not reciting it to you.’
‘Why not? Why did you learn it anyway?’
He shrugged, and said, ‘Because I like it, that’s all.’
‘And you actually know it off by heart?’
‘Yep.’
‘You’re weird.’
‘Maths,’ he said.
And I said, ‘What’s the poem called again?’
‘ “Jabberwocky”. It’s by Lewis Carroll.’
‘How do you spell that?’
He frowned. ‘Why do you want to know?’
‘Because it sounds stupid. And I like stupid words, like your last name.’
‘It’s not stupid, but if you must know, it’s spelt like this.’
And while he spelt it out to me, I wrote it down on my hand.
‘Jabberwocky’ I said, reading it. ‘Dumb.’
‘Maths.’
‘Yeah, that’s dumb too,’ I replied.
31 I DO SOME RESEARCH
That Saturday I got on the Internet and looked up Nerdstrom’s stupid nonsense poem. It didn’t take long to find. And it was full of ridiculous words I’d never even heard of, like ‘vorpal’ and ‘frumious’ and ‘frabjous’ and ‘gimble’, and I started thinking that it would be heaps easier to remember if it had real words in it.
But later on I found that I couldn’t get the first line of the poem out of my head. ‘’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe,’ I was muttering to myself, and Cameron stopped in my bedroom doorway, on his way back from the kitchen with two slices of bread and honey and a Milo.
‘What was that you were saying?’ he asked me.
‘Nothing,’ I said.
But he wasn’t going to be put off that easily. ‘Don’t tell me it’s nothing. You were saying something.’
‘It’s just nonsense,’ I said.
‘Like everything else you say’ Cameron replied as he wandered off to his own room.
But that line was stuck in my head, so I went back online and printed off the poem. It was kind of cool, I decided, after I’d read it through a couple of times.
But one thing was for sure. I wasn’t going to tell Nerdstrom that I’d read it all the way through. And I definitely wasn’t going to tell him that I’d read it all the way through a couple of times.
32 NERDSTROM REFUSES TO HELP HIMSELF
That Sunday Nerdstrom came to our place again. Cameron was down at the skate park with some of his friends, which was a relief, because I didn’t feel like having him there making fun of me and Nerdstrom doing whatever we were going to do.
Before Nerdstrom arrived, Mum was reading the Sunday paper at the kitchen table, and when I asked her what I should do with Nerdstrom, she shook her head at me and frowned. ‘I do wish you wouldn’t call him that.’
‘What? Nerdstrom?’
‘Yes, that. It’s an awful thing to call someone. What if someone gave you a nickname?’
; ‘I wouldn’t mind.’
‘I think you would mind, especially if it was a horrible, disrespectful nickname like “Nerdstrom”. Why don’t you call him by the name his parents gave him?’
And I said, ‘I don’t know, Mum. Maybe because Triffin is a ridiculous name.’
‘Well, maybe you’re right, but it’s his ridiculous name,’ Mum said. ‘And you should use it.’
‘It doesn’t matter what I call him, he’s still going to be bored while he’s here.’
Mum blinked at me. ‘Didn’t you tell me that they don’t have a TV?’
‘That’s right, no TV at all. He’s not interested in it. He just plays with Lego and reads books and looks at the bush. Plus he’s a heaps good drawer.’
‘Then you should go for a walk or something,’ Mum suggested. ‘Take some pencils and paper and draw what you see.’
And I looked at Mum like she had three heads.
‘What?’ she said. ‘You asked me for a suggestion.’
‘We’re not walking anywhere, Mum. I’ll be showing him how to play Playstation.’
Mum shrugged and went back to her paper. ‘OK. So do that.’
And that’s what I did. Nerdstrom wasn’t too bad, actually, and he learned heaps fast, even though I smashed him at Street Battle 3. Maybe it was because I knew some of the cheats, but he didn’t mind, because he didn’t say anything about it, even though it was obvious that I had a few secret moves that I could keep putting on him again and again.
Then we played a couple of fantasy games, but after a while he kind of lost interest and started looking at his watch.
And I said, ‘That’s a pretty cool watch. Where’d you get it?’
‘My dad sent it to me.’
‘Where’s your dad live?’
‘Back in Sweden, where I was born,’ he said. ‘He’s an artist, like Ulrika. A photographer, actually. Ulrika does pottery.’
‘And what’s your dad’s name?’
‘Halsten,’ he said. ‘Halsten Nordstrom. It’s Swedish, obviously. Stupid name, isn’t it?’
I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t the dumbest name I’d ever heard, but it was a bit odd. ‘I’ve heard stupider ones,’ I said.
‘Yeah, right. It’s almost as stupid as Triffin Nordstrom.’
So I asked him, ‘Have you ever thought about changing your name?’
‘To what? Bob?’
‘No, to something like Triff, or Finn.’
‘Finn? That’s no good at all.’
‘Well, it was only a suggestion, but if you don’t like Triffin or Bob, then it’s probably got to be Triff or Finn, doesn’t it?’
Nerdstrom scratched his neck. ‘I don’t know. I guess I can just be Triffin Nordstrom. It’s who I am, after all.’
Yeah, and you’ll get paid out on all your life because of it, I thought. But that’s your problem, not mine.
Then I decided that it doesn’t matter how much you try to help someone, if they don’t want to be helped, there’s not much you can do.
33 WE PUT THE SMACK-DOWN ON
That Monday me and Jared worked on our routine for the Literature Day. We went into the library and started looking for a book about wrestlers, because Mr Sigsworth was being really strict about it. He’d said to the whole class, ‘I don’t care what you do, guys, but it has to be from a book. A book, all right? You know, with paper pages and printing. So if you want to put fifteen cockroaches up your nose in a reference to that guy from the Guinness Book of Records, that’s fine, but it has to be a book.’
It was at that point that Marcus Olmstead had put up his hand and said, ‘How about video games?’ But Marcus Olmstead eats his snot, so that was the kind of question you’d expect from him.
So me and Jared went into the library in search of a book about wrestling, and we found it in no time. It was called A Photographic Guide to the World of Professional Wrestling, and it was full of wrestling stuff – not just the guys from the TY but guys in black and white as well. As soon as we found that, we knew that Mr Sigsworth wouldn’t be able to argue. So I borrowed it, just so we could prove to Sigsy that we hadn’t made it up.
We found a quiet corner of the playground to work on our routine, but eventually we had to go to Mr Sigsworth and ask if we could practise in the classroom.
And he said, ‘Why, boys?’
I said, ‘Because every time we start wrestling, some teacher comes over and tells us to stop fighting.’
Mr Sigsworth said, ‘Well, you know, if that’s what they’re used to seeing, you can hardly blame them … OK, fine, I’ll let you into the classroom. I was going to check out all the routines first anyway, so I might as well do yours now.’
So we went into the 6S room, and we showed Mr Sigsworth the wrestling book, which made him shake his head and chuckle a bit. Then he sat on a desk and ate his sandwiches while we stood out the front and practised shouting insults at each other.
‘And then we’ll actually do a few wrestling moves, and that’ll be it,’ I said after a while.
‘And who’s going to win this ferocious battle of the brawn?’ Mr Sigsworth asked, with his mouth full.
‘Oh, we haven’t worked that bit out yet,’ I replied.
‘But he’ll probably say it has to be him,’ said Jared.
‘Maybe you’ll just have to toss a coin,’ Mr Sigsworth suggested. ‘Either that or battle it out to the death. But that’s fine, guys.’
‘Can we keep practising in here?’ I asked.
‘Sure. Just lock up when you go,’ Mr Sigsworth said. ‘I would say “Break a leg” but that might not be wise, so I’ll just say “good luck”.’
After he’d gone, I said to Jared, ‘What did you mean, it’ll probably be me who wins?’
‘Well, won’t it?’ he asked. ‘It usually is.’
‘Whatever,’ I said.
34 NERDSTROM IS STUFFED
That Wednesday me and Nerdstrom went to the library as usual. And even though he’d been talking to me a lot more these days, that Wednesday he was back to his shy self. He was reading another of his big, chunky books, but he seemed a bit distracted.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ I asked him. ‘You’re all mopey.’
‘Just do your maths,’ he said.
‘But what’s wrong?’
‘It’s nothing. I just hate … I just hate all this stuff we have to do.’
‘Like what?’
And he went, ‘You hate maths, don’t you? Yeah, well, I hate having to stand up and talk in front of people. Especially when they make fun of you.’
‘Oh, is that it? What are you doing for that stupid assembly thing, anyway?’
He scratched at a bit of leftover sticky-tape on the top of the desk and said, ‘I don’t know.’
‘What do you mean, you don’t know? It’s on this Friday!’
‘Yeah, OK, I know that much.’
‘So haven’t you prepared anything at all?’
And he nodded, staring down at the desk. ‘Yep, I did have something I was going to do, but I’m not going to do it now.’
‘What was it?’
‘It was a stupid idea. But now I can’t think of anything else.’ Then he looked up at me, and he suddenly seemed kind of hopeful. ‘You and Jared are doing something together, aren’t you? Maybe I could … like … no, that’s a dumb idea.’
I nodded. ‘Yeah, you know, Jared can be really … really kind of …’
‘Yeah, dumb idea. It’s OK. I’ll talk to Ulrika. We’ll think of something by Friday.’ Then he sighed. ‘I’m so stuffed, aren’t I?’
‘Yup,’ I said.
35 CASEY CETS LOST
That Thursday I had a pie for lunch and it was nice. I bought the pie with my own lunch money just like I usually did, and I ate it with Jared, just like I usually did. We ate our lunch quickly, because we wanted to practise the words of our routine again, since the big performance was the next day.
Casey came over. He didn’t have his whole posse
with him this time. In fact he was all by himself, and I said, ‘Hey, Casey, where’s the rest of your gang?’
And Casey said, ‘They’re with Dallas Lindsay.’
‘Who’s Dallas Lindsay?’
‘He’s just this guy from Year Three. They said they wanted to hang around with him today.’
‘Can’t you hang around with him too?’ I asked.
But Casey shook his head. ‘He doesn’t like me. So can I stay with you guys for a while?’
‘No,’ said jared. No, you can’t. We’ve got to practise our thing for tomorrow.’
‘Can’t I watch you practise? I can help you remember your words and stuff.’
‘No. Go away,’ said Jared. ‘In case you didn’t know, you’re in Year One and we’re in Year Six. And I know you’ve got a brother in high school, but that’s too bad. Go away. We’re busy doing big-kid stuff, so get lost.’
Then Casey looked at me, as if I could say it was OK for him to stay. But I didn’t know what to do, so I just said, ‘You know what? Maybe we’ll see you later, Casey, all right? You should go and find some kids your own age to play with. Go on. I’ll talk to you later.’
‘But no one wants to play with me. They all hate me,’ said Casey.
And I felt a bit sad for him, which was weird, but I said, ‘We’ve got stuff to do, mate, so I’ll see you later on.’
‘OK. Bye,’ said Casey.
As he turned and walked away, I heard Jared mutter, ‘Yeah, get lost, you wannabe.’
I think Casey might have been crying, but I hadn’t planned for that. I wasn’t trying to make him cry. Honest.
36 WE HAVE OUR STUPID BOOK ASSEMBLY
That Friday we had our assembly for our Literature Day, and 6S had to sit in the front two rows of the hall. Some of the kids had come dressed up ready to do skits and things, with costumes and everything. Hayley Belgrado and all her revolting girlfriends had come as the cast of one of those teenage soapy shows, which I think probably made Mr Sigsworth a bit cranky, since he’d told us all about a million times that our material had to be taken from books, not TV shows or movies.