by Lyn Cote
The two of them efficiently unpacked Emma’s dresses and hung them on the pegs along the back wall. The large room had a fireplace, a bed, a table with two chairs, and two rocking chairs. Judith knew that the plain room would soon burst with colorful decorations and Emma’s artistic touch.
Lily moved around the room, touching everything. Then, with permission, she moved through the connecting door to do the same in the schoolhouse.
Now alone with her sister, Judith tried to come up with a way to introduce the topic of Asa. Then, distracting Judith, Emma set out on the mantel a framed photo of their parents taken on their wedding day.
“I didn’t know you had that,” Judith said.
Emma frowned. “I’ll let you have it if you want. But I was afraid that our dear sister-in-law might throw it away.”
“Emma! She wouldn’t do such a thing.”
“I caught her trying to.” Emma pressed her lips together for a moment, her lovely face lined with worry. “She and Gil had fought the night before.”
Gloom settled over Judith. “I’m glad you saved it, then. You keep it. I brought Mother’s Bible and her journal with me. I confess I didn’t want to leave them for the same reason.”
Emma rearranged the silver framed photo on a starched white doily. “Mabel Joy is one of those people who must have all the attention, all the love in a house or family. And thereby renders herself unlovable.”
Judith shook her head. She longed to bring up what she now knew about Asa but could not. Asa did not want anyone to know who he was. She couldn’t understand that, but she must obey his wish in this. And certainly if Emma had recognized him, she would have said something by now.
Lily danced back into the room. “Do I get to go to school?”
Emma stooped to eye level with the little girl. “I hope so. How old are you?”
Judith watched her sister charm Lily. A fear tingled around Judith’s heart. Would she and Asa be keeping the children? Or would some family member come to claim them?
She shouldn’t hope that none of the children’s family would come, but how lonely and quiet the cabin would be without them. A silent sob tried to work its way through her. She tightened her self-control, reminding herself of her vow to love, honor and obey Asa Brant. And except for his self-imposed barrier, he was a good husband, a good man.
*
In his barn, cleaning out a stall, Asa heard a voice call out. “Hello! Anybody home?”
Asa grudgingly stepped to the door.
A slight, white-haired man with a valise in hand stood in the yard.
“Yes?” Asa asked, wanting to hurry the man away.
The man removed his hat. “I’m looking for the Brant house.”
“You found it.” Asa did not recognize the man.
“Is Judith around?”
The question sent a ripple of caution through Asa. “No.”
The man paused, eyeing Asa. “Are you Asa Brant?”
Asa nodded, hoping that he wasn’t guessing right. Judith had said that her father probably wouldn’t come.
The man then moved forward, his right hand outstretched. “I’m Dan Jones. Your father-in-law.”
Dismay washed through Asa, but he automatically gripped the man’s hand. “I…”
The man grinned in a sad way. “I surprised myself. I never planned to take a trip up the river. But…” He shrugged, his face falling. Then he looked at Colton, who was as usual standing in Asa’s shadow. “Who’s this, then?”
Asa pulled himself together. He couldn’t be rude to Judith’s father. “This is Colton. He and his sister are staying with us. Boy, shake the man’s hand.”
Colton obeyed, greeting Jones in his wary way.
“Judith’s in town,” Asa explained.
“I must have missed her. Is she coming back soon?”
Asa nodded, trying to think of how to handle this. He noticed the man shifting the valise from one hand to the other. Judith had said her father wasn’t well. “I’ll take that.” He did so and led the man into the cabin. “Sit.”
His father-in-law settled in Judith’s rocker. “You got a nice place here.”
“Thanks, Mr. Jones.” The worry that this man might recognize who he was, as Judith had, prodded him. Asa wanted to head back to his barn. But civility required that he stay.
“You can call me Dan.”
Asa nodded.
“A drink would be welcome.”
Asa shook himself mentally and poured the man coffee from the pot still warm over the fire.
The man sighed with obvious pleasure. “Judith’s coffee. I’ve missed it.”
Asa hid his surprise. Judith did make good coffee, but this had been hanging over the fire for a few hours. How bad could the coffee this man had been drinking be? Then Asa recalled his own excuse for a cup of coffee. Another of Judith’s skills.
“I’m keeping you from your work,” Dan stated. “You don’t need to stay with me. I’ll just sit a spell. Travel has me tuckered out.”
Asa looked at the man, trying to believe he had come. Who would show up next? Gil? “I’ll be in the barn.”
“I’ll call you or come if I need anything.”
Confused, irritated and wary, Asa left Dan there. Why can’t everyone just leave us alone?
As Asa finished cleaning the stall and making the final preparations for planting, he found that he was listening for the sounds of Judith returning. Then he heard Lily singing. He stepped outside and hurried to intercept Judith.
A glance toward the cabin told him he was too late.
Dan must have heard the singing, too. He had also come out the door into the yard.
Judith, with Lily, appeared as she walked the last rise to their clearing in the pines. She looked to Asa and smiled.
Her smile went straight to his heart. I don’t deserve her.
Then Judith’s face expanded into a dazzling smile he’d not seen before. He wished he was the kind of man who warranted such an expression. But he’d told her to keep his secret. But what else could he do?
“Father!” Judith cried out, running forward. “Father! You came!” She threw her arms around Dan, weeping.
Dan looked over his shoulder to Asa. “Women got to cry,” he said ruefully.
Asa nodded and then, feeling unnecessary, reentered his barn.
*
Judith could not stop crying. Seeing her father had released all the tears she had been holding back.
Then she realized that Lily was clinging to her leg and weeping, too, but in fear. The child had misunderstood her tears of joy and relief.
Judith sucked in air and, releasing her father, stooped down. She clasped Lily to her. “I’m sorry, sweetie. This is happy crying. My father has come to visit us.”
Lily hiccupped, tears trembling on her lashes. “He’s not a bad man?”
“No, he’s a very good man,” Judith said. “Sometimes when a person—”
“A woman,” her father inserted.
She knew he was teasing her, trying to lighten the mood. “Hush,” she mock-scolded him. “Sometimes good news is so good it makes me cry.”
Lily did not look convinced of this as she wiped away her tears with her fingertips.
Judith rose and took Lily’s hand again. “Lily, this is my father, Mr. Jones. Father, this is Lily, who lives with us.”
“Is her brother that youngster, Colton?” Dan asked.
“Yes,” Lily said and curtseyed. “Pleased to meet you, mister.”
Dan bowed to Lily. “Likewise.”
Judith’s mood lifted. Her father was teasing again. In the months before she and Emma had left for Pepin, there had been no teasing in their home.
“Come in, Father.” She looked up at the sun right overhead. “It’s time I set out lunch.” She glanced at the barn. Asa had sought his usual refuge. But he must have heard her and her father. She sighed. Her father arriving, another unwelcome development for Asa.
“I met your man,” Father
said. “He welcomed me, took me inside and gave me coffee.”
Surprise tingled up Judith’s spine. “He did?”
“Yes. Then I told him to get back to his work. A farmer can’t waste a good day like this entertaining.”
Judith nodded, leading Father into the cabin.
Lily remained outside, greeting the eager, leaping, purring kittens, who evidently had missed her.
Judith went about preparing lunch, wondering what Asa thought of her father appearing. She doubted he was pleased, but as usual, he had done the right thing and welcomed his father-in-law. What am I going to do with that man?
*
The five of them sat down to lunch, the children and Dan on the bench opposite Judith and Asa. He hid his displeasure at this latest invasion. He’d advertised for a wife, and now he had a wife, two children, two kittens and suddenly a father-in-law. He’d had to force himself into the cabin. He said his usual prayer and began eating, trying not to look sullen.
As usual, Judith had served up a tasty lunch, rabbit stew and dumplings. Asa concentrated on his meal, savoring each creamy bite.
Judith sat, not eating.
One glance told him she was fretting. Wasn’t she happy her father had come?
“Mrs. Brant cooks good,” Lily commented, swinging her feet and eyeing the new face at the table.
Colton spoke up, something he rarely did. “I caught the rabbits with my snares.”
Dan patted Colton’s shoulder. “Good for you. I used to catch rabbits for my mom, too.”
Asa felt that cinching feeling in his chest. When would they hear from Sterling, Illinois, from the Farrier family? Then he thought of living here without the children. Did he want to hear from their family?
“Father, I’m really happy you’ve visited,” Judith said, smoothing the white oilcloth beneath her fingertips. “I just didn’t think you’d come.”
“I didn’t think so, either, but then Anne…you remember our neighbor?”
Judith nodded and finally picked up her fork to begin eating.
The tightness in Asa’s chest loosened.
“She stopped by,” Dan continued, “and sat on the porch with me a spell, and pretty soon I told her about your invitation.” Father tugged out the tattered letter from his pocket. “I hadn’t expected you to invite me. But Anne said, why not go? Good to see your girls.”
*
Judith heard the words, but she heard more than that. Her father’s unhappiness came through. She tried to think of something to say but could not speak her mind about Mabel Joy or what their neighbor Anne had revealed to her about Gil’s behavior. Not in front of the children, and sometimes things were better left where they lay.
“How long can you stay?” Judith asked and took her first bite of stew.
Her father rubbed his chin. “I don’t know.”
Judith managed to swallow her mouthful with difficulty. What would Asa think about this?
“Now tell me about our Emma,” Dan said. “That Mason Chandler wasn’t here to meet her? What was that about?”
Judith was happy to turn the discussion away from Illinois and fill her father in on Emma’s delayed fiancé and Emma’s new career.
Finally lunch had been eaten. Asa rose and thanked her for the meal as he always did with “Good meal, ma’am.”
Judith knew that Asa was vexed. She couldn’t blame him, really. She’d asked to invite her father for a visit, but she hadn’t expected him to come. It had only been a faint hope.
“I’d offer to come and help,” her father told Asa. “But traveling for several days has me beat. I think… I just need to sit a spell.”
“Rest,” Asa said, and with Colton, his shadow, he left the cabin.
“Your man doesn’t string many words together, does he?” her father said, rising and moving toward the rocker by the fire.
“No.” Judith bent to kiss her father’s forehead, and then she gathered up the dishes. Lily sprang up to help her. Judith tried to keep her worry unseen. Yet things at home must been very bad indeed for her father to come.
Lily interrupted Judith’s thoughts. “He’s snoring,” she whispered, pointing to Dan.
Judith turned, and she heard the familiar whiffling her father often made in his sleep. “Older people get tired more easily, and he’s come a long way.”
Lily accepted another dish to dry and nodded solemnly. “We had a grandpa in Illinois. I ’member him. He used to rock me.”
Would this grandpa come to claim the children? A dreaded thought. Judith observed Lily glance longingly at Dan.
“I had a grandpa, too. They are good rockers.” Judith tried to keep the conversation light.
“Can your pa be my grandpa now?” Lily asked.
The innocent question stung Judith’s heart. “We’ll see. I don’t know how long my father will stay.” I don’t know how long you and Colton will stay.
Emma’s life had taken form. She had found a place and a job. Judith had a husband who was hiding who he was, pulled back into his shell. Judith rubbed her head and tried not to think of tonight, when her father would take the bedroom and she would have to face her husband up in the loft again. Lord, help untangle this knot of problems. I can’t.
*
Evening came, and Asa faced another night with a visitor to contend with. Soon the children and the kittens were tucked into their pallets on the floor, and Judith had persuaded her father to take the bedroom. As she climbed up the ladder to the loft, Asa looked at Judith’s worried expression and held out his hand.
She gazed at him and then accepted his help getting safely into the loft. For a moment he wanted to draw her hand till she leaned into him. In the firelight he could see her large eyes, luminous and so serious.
Before he could stop himself, he stroked a few tendrils of hair away from her face. Touching her flashed up his arm like lightning. Her sweet scent enveloped him. Sweet Judith.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wanted him to come, but—”
He stroked her cheek. So soft.
“Asa,” she whispered and rested her cheek in his hand.
He thought he might fly apart at the sensations she ignited within him. This is my wife. My Judith. But there were children and her father sleeping below, and he had no right to touch this lovely, sweet woman. He had no love to give her. He wished the war had not burned away his heart.
“It’s all right,” he muttered and moved his hand. “Night.” He turned and rolled away into his bedding, his heart thudding like a mallet against his breastbone. He strained within the trap he’d lived in for years, alone and empty. God, I don’t deserve her and don’t ever want to hurt her.
*
The next morning, Judith and Lily went to pick wild mushrooms, succulent morels, in a clearing east of town. Asa with Colton went to begin tilling his land for planting. Asa had been thinking of putting in a small crop for Mason if he had time. They left Dan sitting on the bench outside their door.
Then, with the sun high overhead, they all returned to eat lunch together. But Dan was not in the cabin or the barn. Asa saw how this worried Judith. Where had the old man gone?
The sound of whistling announced Dan, who came walking up from town. He waved, and Lily ran to tell him all about picking wild mushrooms and how she and Judith were going to fry them so they could eat them with bread and butter.
Soon lunch of breaded and fried mushrooms with thick slices of buttered bread had been eaten, and the children were sent out to play. Lily went willingly, but Colton eyed them and left with slow steps.
Dan looked directly at Asa. “I’m not here just for a visit.” He paused. “But don’t worry. I’m not moving in with you.”
Asa stared at him, his thoughts scattered. “You’re family,” he objected.
Dan chuckled. “Yes, but you see, I’ve had enough family for a while.”
“Father, don’t—” Judith said in a soothing tone.
Dan patted her hand. “As your husban
d has said, we’re family. I’m sure you’ve told him about Gil and Mabel Joy.” Dan looked straight at Asa. “No woman was ever misnamed more exactly.”
Asa sipped his coffee, watchful.
Dan shook his head as if exhausted. “But my son is no better. After you girls left, matters got a lot worse. Gil goes to the saloon and drinks every night. And I mean drinks till he can barely ride his horse home. And then his wife greets him with loud quarreling.”
Judith, who had been stacking plates to carry to the dry sink, stopped. “Father, no.”
“Judith, yes. I was so happy Gil had survived the war that when he came home, I shut my eyes to what was happening. I should have stood up for you girls. Put a stop to both of their bad manners and fighting right away.” After patting her hand, Dan looked directly at Asa. “I meant what I said. I’m not strong enough to farm anymore. My heart gives me trouble. But I’m going to find work here doing something. And—” he emphasized the word “—I’m going to find a room to rent somewhere.”
“But, Father, there isn’t a boardinghouse here.”
“Levi has a lean-to…he rents it out,” Asa said. “Stayed there myself when I first arrived.”
Judith from her place sent him an unhappy and confused look.
Asa shrugged. It was the truth.
“Levi?” Dan asked.
“Blacksmith,” Asa replied.
Dan lifted both brows. “Oh. He’s the one who told me where your place was yesterday. Seemed a good young man.”
“He’s solid,” Asa said, thinking of the younger man who always managed to set Asa at ease. “My best man.”
“Now, Judith, I’ll be right in town. I’ll even let you do my laundry,” Dan teased.
Judith bowed her head as if acknowledging defeat.
“And I will drop in for meals.” Dan grinned. “You cook as good as your mother ever did. And that’s saying something.”
Asa sensed Judith watching him and checked to make sure his face hadn’t given anything away. He’d gained not only Judith but also the children and now Dan. I just wanted a wife, just a wife.
*
Two days later her father moved into the blacksmith’s bachelor quarters at the riverfront. Judith, with Lily and Emma, had insisted on coming to see his new home. And Colton, who had taken a liking to her father, tagged along, too. The children went inside with Father while she and Emma stood in the doorway. The room was too small for all of them to fit in comfortably.