by Kitty Neale
His eyes opened again now, seeking hers, the appeal in them almost breaking her heart as he fought to speak. ‘Forgive me, Lily.’
Lily had never expected to be able to say these words, but now she blurted out, ‘Ron, Ron, of course I do.’
‘Don’t…don’t deserve it, but…but had to come. Where…where’s my girl?’
‘I’m here, Dad,’ Mavis cried, rushing forward.
Ron looked at Mavis, managing the ghost of a smile. ‘My lovely girl,’ he gasped, his breathing ragged, tortured, as his eyes closed again.
‘Oh, Mum, Mum.’
‘I know, love, I know,’ Lily said.
‘Mum, you…you won’t leave, will you?’ Mavis sobbed.
‘Of course I won’t,’ Lily assured.
Mavis drew in juddering breaths, dashing tears from her cheeks, and saying as she left the room, ‘Th…thanks, Mum. I…I’d better see to dinner. Alec will be home soon.’
Lily felt a surge of guilt. Mavis had sounded so grateful, but in truth she knew that wild horses wouldn’t have been able to drag her away from Ron’s side. The room was quiet now, with just the sound of Ron’s shallow, tortured breathing, and Lily found herself breathing in time with him—fighting with him.
Lily was so wrapped up in looking at Ron that it was some time before she became aware that downstairs, Alec was home and shouting. Lily felt sorry for Mavis. When the doctor had looked in on Edith, he said it appeared that she’d been given too many pills, though Mavis had denied it. All right, maybe she had made a silly mistake with Edith’s medication, but with her father dying and the state she was in, surely it was understandable.
At least no harm had been done, Lily thought, but then, instead of Alec yelling, it was Edith Pugh. Lily stood up and crept onto the landing to listen. She had never liked Edith, but felt sorry for her now that she’d been confined to bed—though with her voice bordering on a screech, she certainly didn’t sound weak.
What was that she said? Lily’s eyes widened in shock. Mavis was crying out now, begging, but Lily was enraged. Over my dead body, she decided, ready for a fight as she stormed downstairs.
‘Please, please, you can’t make him leave. He can’t be moved again. He’s dying! My father’s dying,’ Mavis was pleading.
‘He ain’t going anywhere!’
Mavis spun around to see her mother on the threshold of the room, and, though small in stature, she looked like an Amazon, blazing with temper.
‘Yes he is,’ Edith spat. ‘Thanks to your daughter I nearly died and I won’t be neglected again.’
‘Died! Leave it out. You took a couple of pills too many, that’s all, and from what Mavis told me, it wasn’t her fault.’
‘I can assure you it was, and this has proved that she’s incapable of looking after both her father and me. I’ve hardly seen her today, despite repeatedly ringing my bell.’
‘You lying cow! You’re forgetting I’ve been here to see how you’ve run her ragged.’
‘I did no such thing,’ Edith blustered. ‘And, anyway, you seem to be forgetting that thanks to Mavis’s negligence, I’ve been really ill.’
‘Ill my foot! If you want to see ill, go up and take a look at my husband.’
‘Yes, your husband, and as such he’s your responsibility. Now I suggest you either take him home with you, or make arrangements to have him admitted to hospital.’
‘You bitch. The doctor said he might not even last the night, yet you’d see a dying man disturbed. My God, I don’t know how my daughter puts up with you.’ But then, as though struck by a thought, Lily’s eyes narrowed into slits. ‘But she doesn’t have to. When I go, Mavis can come with me. She can live with me, and in future you can find someone else to wipe your shitty arse. Ain’t that right, Mavis?’
Mavis stared at her mother in amazement. ‘Er…er, yes.’
‘Right then, girl. I’ll see about getting your father taken into hospital, and in the meantime get some stuff packed for yourself and the kids.’
Alec stepped forward. ‘No, you can’t go, Mavis. I won’t allow it.’
Mavis didn’t have to answer. Her mother did that for her. ‘You little shit. How do you think you’re gonna stop her?’
‘She’s my wife! James and Grace are my children!’
‘Wife! Don’t give me that. Mavis is nothing but a bloody slave to your mother. How my daughter puts up with the way she’s treated is beyond me, but this is an end to it. She’s coming with me and I’ll see that she files for divorce and custody of the kids.’
‘Mother!’ Alec cried, his eyes wide in appeal.
‘Mavis, perhaps taking too many pills was my mistake,’ Edith said quickly. ‘It frightened me and I’m afraid I overreacted by insisting that your father leaves. I’m sorry, and of course he can stay.’
‘I should think so too,’ Lily snapped. ‘Right, that’s sorted and, if you don’t mind, I’ll get back to Ron.’
Still reeling, Mavis watched her mother march from the room. She couldn’t believe that she’d stood up for her like that, offered her a way out—a home.
Alec suddenly ran towards his mother, asking anxiously, ‘What is it? Mother, are you all right?’
‘Oh, dear, I’m afraid this has all been a bit too much for me. I just need a little peace, a chance to rest.’
‘Of course you do,’ he said, ‘and we haven’t eaten yet. Mavis will see to our dinner and then you can settle down for the evening.’
Alec turned to look at her and Mavis nodded. Yes, she’d see to dinner and then leave Alec to sit with his mother. She wanted to be upstairs with her father, and, not only that, she needed to talk to her mother.
Though over an hour had passed, Edith was still angry. She’d had to give in and hated it, but when Lily Jackson had offered Mavis a home, Edith knew that she had gone too far—that if she continued to alienate Mavis, the girl might actually leave.
‘Do you feel a little better now, Mother?’
‘Yes, a little, though I can’t believe the way Lily Jackson spoke to me. The woman is so coarse and her language appalling. Not only that, the dinner that Mavis just cooked was barely digestible.’
‘I know, but with so much on her mind, I’m sure Mavis did her best.’
‘The housework is probably being neglected, just as I am.’
‘Mother, you know her father’s dying and she’s dreadfully upset. If you hadn’t changed your mind, I think she really would have left.’
‘I could have died too, Alec, and you seem to have forgotten that,’ Edith snapped, annoyed to hear her son standing up for Mavis and determined to nip it in the bud.
‘I’m just glad you’re all right,’ Alec said, but then his eyes moved to the bedside table. ‘Why are your pills in here? You know I like them kept in the cupboard and out of the children’s reach.’
With so much on her mind, Edith didn’t think before she lied, ‘Because Mavis forgot to give me any this morning and I didn’t want it to happen again. All she cares about is her father and I’ve been dreadfully neglected.’
‘Mother, you became ill because you overdosed on painkillers and said that Mavis was to blame for giving you too many. Now you’re saying that she forgot to give you any pills. This doesn’t make sense.’
Edith cursed her woolly mind, and knew that somehow she would have to respond carefully. ‘Oh, dear, I’m so tired, confused, and don’t know if I’m coming or going. Maybe it really was my fault, but I just can’t seem to remember,’ she said, forcing a sob of distress.
‘Please, don’t upset yourself,’ Alec soothed. ‘You’re all right, and that’s all that matters. Now try to rest and I’ll put these away.’
Edith could do nothing to stop Alec as he walked out of the room with the bottle of pills. Her mind was getting worse, her thoughts more confused, yet Edith was aware that this time she had gone too far—pushed her daughter-in-law too far.
With a snort of annoyance, Edith knew she had to ensure that Mavis stayed, and to achieve t
hat it would mean she would have to be kinder, perhaps show a little appreciation. It wouldn’t be easy. It still rankled that Mavis had tried to take her son away from her, but she had no fear of that happening in the future. She had seen to it that Alec had no respect for Mavis, that he thought his wife a fool.
Yes, Edith thought with satisfaction, her son was hers again now, and she, his mother, the most important woman in his life. Yet Edith also knew that to make sure she didn’t become a burden to Alec, her daughter-in-law had to remain.
Mavis ignored Alec as he walked into the kitchen, but turned her head when he spoke.
‘My mother’s pills were in her room. I’ll put them away before she does the same thing again.’
‘Oh, so you believe me now?’ Mavis said, unable to keep the sarcasm from her tone.
‘Yes, and I’m sorry for doubting you.’
‘Well, that’s something,’ she said, turning back to the washing up and hoping that Alec would just go away.
‘Mavis…we need to talk.’
‘Not now, I’m busy,’ she snapped.
‘All right, but maybe later,’ he said, saying no more as he left the kitchen.
Mavis washed the dishes and then put them away before going to her mother-in-law’s room. ‘I’d like to sit with my father. Is there anything else you need before I go?’
‘No, my dear, don’t worry about me. You have enough to do and as Alec is here now, he can fetch me anything I need.’
‘Yes, I’ll see to her,’ Alec agreed.
‘Oh, Mavis, I might have to call you if I need the commode. Is that all right?’
‘Yes, of course,’ Mavis said, surprised by Edith’s kindly tone, but dismissing it from her mind as she went upstairs to her father’s room. ‘Mum, how is he?’
‘The same, but I don’t think his breathing is any worse.’
‘Did you manage to get him to eat any of that soup?’
‘No, he wouldn’t touch it.’
Mavis pulled up another chair, still speaking softly as she said, ‘Did you mean what you said?’
‘Mean what?’
‘That I can come to live with you? The children too?’
‘Of course not, you daft cow. I ain’t got room for you lot and was only bluffing. Of course, Alec and his flaming mother don’t know that, but it certainly did the trick.’
Mavis felt tears filling her eyes. Yes, she was daft, stupid enough to think that her mother would take her in. For a while she had dared to hope but the bubble had burst now. With nowhere to go she’d have to stay here, but as her father moaned softly Mavis leaned forward. He was all that mattered for now, and she closed her eyes in prayer, begging God to let him live.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Pete looked anxiously at the clock. It was after eight but where was Lily? She had left a note to say she’d gone to see Mavis, but should have been back by now. He paced up and down, and then grabbed his coat, deciding to tell Marilyn where he was going in case he and Lily crossed paths.
Marilyn said she’d keep an eye out for Lily, and now Pete was frantically looking for a taxi. A bus would take too long and though a cab would cost a fortune Pete was too worried to care. Something must have happened. But what?
At last he arrived and was thumping on the door, his face creased with anxiety as Alec Pugh answered it. ‘I’m looking for Lily. Is she still here?’
‘Yes, she’s upstairs,’ Alec said as he stood back to let him in.
‘Is she all right?’
‘Er…yes, she’s fine.’
‘What is it then? Is it one of your kids?’
‘No,’ Alec said. ‘I’m afraid it’s Mavis’s father. He’s very ill and they’re both sitting with him.’
‘Ron! He’s here?’
‘Yes, but as I said he’s very ill. If you’d like to wait I’ll go and get Mavis.’
Wait! No, he wasn’t going to wait, and though Alec protested, Pete followed him upstairs. My God, after all these years Ron had turned up—but why hadn’t Lily put that in her note?
‘Pete,’ Lily cried, jumping to her feet as he walked into the room.
‘What’s going on, Lily?’
She moved towards him, urging quietly, ‘Come outside.’
He ignored her, instead walking over to the bed, shocked at what he saw. This couldn’t be Ron, this skeletal form, barely breathing. ‘Bloody hell, Lily.’
‘He’s dying, Pete,’ she said, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘I had to stay. I…I couldn’t come home.’
‘No, of course you couldn’t,’ Pete murmured. He looked down at Ron, unable to work out his feelings. This man had been his friend, one who had saved his life during the war, and there was a part of him that felt a deep sadness. Yet sickeningly there was another side that felt relief. He knew that Lily had loved Ron, had feared his return, knowing that, despite what she said, when that happened he’d lose her. He had nothing to fear now. Ron was dying, and Lily would be free to marry him, eliminating the worry that their child would be born a bastard.
Pete shook his head in disgust at his own thoughts, and then moving to stand by Lily again, he said, ‘I’m sorry, love. Are you all right?’
‘It’s just so awful to see him like this.’
‘Yeah, it is, but how did he get in that state?’
‘We don’t know. Kate Truman and her husband found him in an empty house in Cullen Street. Apparently he was looking for me,’ she said, before breaking down in tears.
Pete pulled her into his arms, aware immediately of her resistance. He knew why. It was Ron she wanted. It was Ron that she had always wanted, but somehow he had to hold on. Pete knew that Lily had never really loved him, and maybe she never would, but he couldn’t face life without her.
Lily was glad when Pete finally left. It had been awkward while he was there, and she had felt that she could no longer hold Ron’s hand. Mavis had gone downstairs to get Edith sorted out for the night, the girl looking as exhausted as Lily felt.
She had seen little of her daughter since Mavis had married Alec, and maybe that was why, but Lily was surprised to hear how sensible Mavis sounded, how capable she was. She could see now why some people didn’t think that Mavis was backward, but, of course, as her mother, Lily knew better.
Ron opened his eyes, and Lily leaned forward. ‘I’m here,’ she whispered.
He struggled to speak, but it was too much for him and it was all Lily could do to stem her tears. She threw an arm over his frail body. ‘Oh, Ron, I love you. I’ll always love you.’
She saw a ghost of a smile on his lips, but then he closed his eyes again. For a moment Lily thought he’d gone and her stomach jerked, but then slumped with relief when she saw that he was still breathing.
The thought of losing him was more than she could bear, and clutching his hand Lily willed him to live. ‘Don’t let go, Ron. Please, don’t let go.’
It was fifteen minutes later when Mavis came into the room carrying two cups. ‘How is he, Mum?’
‘He’s still with us, but we’ve got to face it, love, he’s getting worse.’
Lily could see that Mavis was fighting tears as she said, ‘I’ve made us both a cup of coffee.’
‘Thanks, love,’ Lily said, taking it gratefully and feeling a twinge of guilt. Mavis had been up and down stairs all day, but she’d done little to help. ‘Has Alec gone to bed?’
‘Yes, ten minutes ago.’
He hadn’t bothered to say goodnight to her, but Lily wasn’t surprised. Alec had always been uppity, looking down his nose at her—his mother too. Still, she’d sorted Edith Pugh out, the woman’s dependence on Mavis giving Lily her ammunition. Mavis should take a leaf out of her book, Lily thought, but the girl had always been too soft for her own good. ‘Is Edith settled for the night too?’
‘Yes, and I’m just glad that Jenny offered to have the children. They’ve never spent the night away from home before, I hope they’re all right.’
‘Blimey, Mavis, they’re on
ly next door. Jenny seems a nice sort and I’m sure they’re fine.’
With a sigh, Mavis sat down, the two of them gazing at Ron as they sipped their coffee until Lily said, ‘Mavis, you don’t really want to leave Alec, do you?’
‘I can’t so there’s no point in talking about it.’
‘I thought you were happy. What changed?’
‘My mother-in-law.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She was fine at first, teaching me to read, but then…’
‘Teaching you to read?’ Lily interrupted. ‘But you can’t read, you never could.’
‘Yes, but it isn’t because I’m backward. Edith did some research and found out that I have something called word blindness.’
‘What’s that? I’ve never heard of it.’
‘Neither had I, but apparently it’s a medical condition. In some cases learning to read is possible, but mine is very severe and, though she tried to teach me, I found it impossible.’
‘But why didn’t you tell me?’
‘At first it was because I wanted to surprise you, to see your face when I read to you. For once I wanted you to be proud of me; but when Edith finally gave up, I couldn’t see the point in telling you.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘Mum, without proof, I knew you’d never believe me.’
Lily felt sick inside. Edith Pugh, Kate Truman and Pete, among others, had been right. Mavis wasn’t backward. It was a medical condition that prevented her from reading, nothing else. Guilt almost overwhelmed her. She’d been ashamed of her daughter, found it hard to love her, and had treated her like a moron. ‘Oh, Mavis, if you’d explained this word blindness thing I would have believed you, really I would.’
‘Well, you know now and so far there’s no sign that either James or Grace has inherited the same problem. I was worried sick at first and, unable to help James when he started school, I had to rely on Alec. He and Edith are keen to see that both children have a good education and are equally relieved to see that they show no signs of it.’
Lily’s hands moved to cup her stomach. She’d been worried sick about the baby—worried that it would be born backward like Mavis. But her daughter was fine, and her new child would be too. She had nothing to fear now.