by Danni Roan
“You gonna work that sassy chestnut today?” the older man asked, smoothing the pony’s mane into place as he fastened the bridle straps.
“I might,” Ed commented, his voice dead.
“That little filly don’t trust no one yet,” Bayer continued, “take it slow with her, best to work her slow.”
“Things ain’t so rosy with them two.” Bayer sidled up to Mrs. Crumps a little later as he led Nate to the hitching rail. “Seems somethin’ went wrong.”
“You mind your own business, Bayer,” Mrs. Crumps snapped, then softened her tone. “I reckon they have to work this out in their own way.”
***
Sadie curled herself into a ball on the big bed in a room that now felt empty. Faith was off with Bayer for a riding lesson and the quiet house echoed her shame and confusion.
She was so tired. In one moment everything had changed; the bud of burgeoning hope had been crimped and she mourned for it.
Pushing herself upright, Sadie thought of the home she’d been making for her daughter. Faith was happy, safe, loved.
“She loves Ed so,” Sadie admitted to the quiet room then lifted her eyes to heaven, longing for answers to her fears.
Outside her open window an indigo bunting fluttered to rest on a twig of a stunted tree. Sadie watched mesmerized at the tiny blue bird swayed on the thin branch, but as a strong gust of wind bent the tree, the twig snapped and the little bird stretched its wings, soaring skyward.
For long moments, Sadie followed the bird as it flitted through the sky, free and unfettered by earth below. It had come to the little bush to rest, but its trust was not in the limb on which is sat, but in the wings God had given it.
With a start, Sadie sprang to her feet, fresh tears pouring down her cheeks as her heart pounded in her chest. From the window, she studied the broken twig then scanned the skies for the bird whose joyful song still filled the air.
From deep within Sadie laughed, her eyes scanning the sky, but this time to take in the beauty of God’s creation.
She had trusted in the twig, a frail image of security, and when it had broken she’d forgotten that God had made her to soar.
“My trust is not in me, Lord, nor in the frailty of man. It is in you,” she whispered, accepting fully that God did not mean harm for her. He loved her and had a plan for her life.
As she leaned out the window, feeling the fresh breeze drying her tears, she saw Ed step out of the barn, his head low, his shoulders slumped.
“Oh Eddie,” she whispered, “what have I done?”
Ed Hampton had always been a sweet, sensitive and caring young man. Shame infused her face with color as she realized how she’d hurt him.
“My faith is in you Lord,” she finally said, and turning, headed for the stairs.
“Ed.” Her voice was soft as she stepped into the dust of the yard. “I need to speak to you.” She saw the pain and fear etched clearly across his face and her heart constricted.
“Sadie?” he questioned, wiping his hands on a cloth and turning her toward the front porch.
Reaching for his hand, Sadie stilled their movement and gazed into his eyes. “I’m sorry, Eddie,” she said in a small voice, her eyes intent as Ed visibly paled.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Sadie rushed on, afraid she’d lose her nerve. “It’s not your fault, Ed. It’s me.” Her eyes fell and her voice shook, so she took a moment to pull herself together.
Ed Hampton stood frozen to the spot with absolute terror. He was sure Sadie was telling him she was leaving, that she couldn’t trust him and would be gone on the next train.
His hand quivered in hers and his heart ached.
“I’m so sorry Ed. Can you please forgive me? I shouldn’t have let my own fears and insecurities come between us.”
Ed blinked, looking into the soft eyes he knew so well. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice a ragged croak.
“I’m sure. It’s all my fault. I care for you a great deal Ed,” she hedged, not wanting to speak the words that had now blossomed full in her heart. She didn’t want to use them until he truly understood. “I never meant to hurt you.”
With trembling fingers, Ed pushed a lock of hair behind Sadie’s ear. “Sadie,” he whispered, then leaned down and kissed her softly, hope bubbling in his soul. He only hoped she was truly able to trust and let go of the fears she’d brought with her.
Sadie kissed Ed back without reservation. Life had given her cause to doubt, to fear, but she was determined to believe that God had a perfect plan for her and that He would bless their marriage.
Wrapping his arms around his beautiful wife, Ed turned toward the house. He’d been so afraid of losing her, his heart hurt. He was only a man, a man in love who wondered if she’d truly ever trust.
Chapter 12
Autumn took on a chill even as Sadie’s heart warmed. She’d let go of her fear, her doubt, her shame and a feeling of freedom filled her. She poured herself into the love and laughter she’d missed for so long.
Yet deep inside she could feel the reservation that had grown in Ed’s wounded heart. She couldn’t blame him. She’d hurt him badly with her own insecurities and would do anything to take it all back.
“Good morning.” Ed’s words were a husky rasp as he stretched, preparing to rise and start the new day.
“Good morning,” she replied, snuggling close and keeping him with her for a few minutes more. “What will you do today?”
“We’ve got a corral full of horses to break. It’s taken just about everything we had to collect enough stock to fill the Cavalry order we finally received and I have every man working extra hours to have it ready on time.”
Sadie sat up a little, looking into her husband’s handsome face. She knew she didn’t deserve him, but she sure was glad she had him.
“Are we alright?”
“Oh, we’re alright,” Ed assured her, running his rough hands over her soft skin. There was no denying he loved her. If only she could truly trust him. He smiled, happy with the changes he’d seen in her these few weeks; he only hoped it would continue.
“Well we’d better get moving then,” she said with a grin, kissing him on the nose and springing out of bed with the old energy he remembered from school and he smiled, taking heart.
***
“Mama, you sure have a lot of sewing to do now,” Faith commented from where she sat at her mother’s feet, sorting through the button box.
“I got several orders from some of the ladies in town.” Sadie grinned. Though most women could sew, not all mothers could knit a stitch to the satisfaction of their daughters.
“Why’d they ask you to sew for them?” Faith asked. “Can’t they sew for themselves?’
Sadie laughed, watching as her little girl sorted buttons into piles by color and size.
“Do you like pretty things?” Sadie asked, resting her busy fingers in her lap.
“You know I do,” Faith smiled, looking down at her newest dress.
“Well other little girls, and not so little girls, like pretty things, too, and sometimes they don’t have the time or the skill to make something as pretty as they want, so they have someone else do it for them.”
“Like when we were back home.” Faith nodded.
“Do you miss being back there?” Sadie asked, worried about having taken her child from everything she ever knew.
“No,” Faith turned her storm-sea eyes up to look at her mother, “I like it here better.” She grinned. “I even have a pony.” Her bright smile touched Sadie’s soul and she lifted her thanks to heaven.
The sound of cheerful shouting outside had her on her feet and heading for the door, Faith scurrying to keep up.
“What is it Mama?” the little girl asked as they stepped out onto the porch and watched Ed swing aboard a big dark bay horse with a whoop from the other men.
The horse skittered and started, tossing its head and hopping a few feet, to the delight of the assembled cowboys, bu
t Ed’s soft voice and gentle hand soothed and calmed until the horse walked calmly around the corral.
“Eddie!” Faith squealed charging toward the rails to get a look. Everything seemed to happen at once, freezing Sadie’s heart in her throat.
As Faith scrabbled up the fence, the horse spooked, rearing up and spinning on hind legs that wobbled, then sagged, causing the big horse to start tipping backward,
Ed lifted high into the blue sky, horse and man suddenly tilting downward with the large animal following him toward the hard earth
Ed felt the horse beneath him tense, hunkering onto its hindquarters and lifting its front legs high in fright.
This was nothing new but when he felt the horse’s rear legs begin to buckle, he knew he was in real danger and kicked his feet free of the stirrups, throwing himself from the saddle just as the green horse toppled backward, grinding the saddle into the earth.
“Ed!” Sadie screamed, racing to the fence just as Ed climbed to his feet, dusting off his pants.
“I’m alright, Sadie,” Ed called, noting the fear in her eyes. His heart skipped a beat at what he could read in her face.
“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Faith apologized, tears springing to her eyes, “I didn’t mean to scare the horse.” She dropped her head, sniffing.
“It’s alright,sweet heart,” Ed answered, walking to the fence and picking her up as the other men moved to capture the horse, who had moved to the far end of the corral. “You just have to remember to move slow around horses. You’ll learn.”
“Well that was a right good show after all,” Bayer laughed, thumping Ed on the back. “Ain’t seen that in a long time.” He chuckled again and turned for the barn.
“You go on with Bayer and check on your pony,” Ed said, putting Faith down and watching her scurry away.
“You frightened me nearly to death,” Sadie said, wrapping her arms around her dust covered husband. “Please don’t do that again.”
Ed snuggled close to Sadie, knowing now that she loved him, but still not sure if she would ever truly trust any man.
***
“Ed, Ed, what’s that sound?” Sadie sat upright in the bed, the room full of an unfamiliar glow.
“Hm?” Ed mumbled, still not quite awake.
“That noise, what is it?” Sadie shimmied out of bed and moved to the window, pulling the curtains back.
“Fire! The barn’s on fire!” she screamed, turning panicked eyes toward her husband, who was already pulling on his pants.
“Go ring the bell Sadie. Rouse the men.” He raced down the stairs, with Sadie on his heels.
Ed dashed into the big building on the other side of the yard as the first peals of the dinner bell clanked into the orange haze. Inside, horses plunged and screamed as golden flames poured from the loft.
The sound of men’s voices mingled with the panicked cries of the horses and stock in the barn as smoke choked off the air.
Ed threw open the first stall, grabbing for a horse and hauling it by the halter to the door. The big cart horse snorted, its eyes rolling in its head, but it moved and soon he had it headed out the door. He dashed back inside to the next stall, then the next.
The sound of water splashing against the sides of the exterior mixed with the clamber of men and horses told him the others were trying to douse the flames.
A hulking form joined him, pulling the milk cows out as the fire cackled madly overhead in ravenous voice.
Ed coughed, trying to shout for Bayer to get out. He dashed to the last stall in the barn as flames raced down the dry, wooden walls, lapping hungrily at the tinder as Bayer fought to pull Nate from his stall.
“He won’t come,” the big man barked, falling into a fit of coughing as a beam crackled overhead.
Ed grabbed the shirt from his back, racing to the stall and dashing inside as the frightened pony reared and whinnied. Grasping the little animal by the neck, he twisted his shirt over the pony’s eyes.
“Lead him out now.”
Hauling on the lead rope, Bayer pulled the quivering pony from the barn as the roof sagged.
“Ed, where’s Ed?” Sadie wailed as Bayer burst from the barn with the pony in hand, the roof collapsing on his heels.
“Sadie,” Ed wheezed, throwing himself from the wreckage into the dust as the bucket brigade doused him and the barn as well.
“Ed, are you alright?” Sadie dropped to the earth beside him as he coughed and sputtered.
“I’m alright,” he replied, his voice an agonized rasp as he pushed himself to his feet leaned on her for support, and slowly turned to watch the barn crumble with a pitiful groan.
“Oh Eddie, I’m so sorry,” Sadie croaked as the tears sprang to her eyes.
“We didn’t lose none of the stock,” Bayer, still wheezing, commented as he approached. “We still got the stock.”
“Is anyone hurt?” Ed croaked.
“No one but you, an’ a few singed hairs.” Bayer answered.
Ed looked down at the red welts that dotted his torso. “We’ve lost a good deal of feed and fodder as well though.” He lifted his eyes to the still burning remains of his barn.
“Most of the tack was out at the corrals,” Bayer offered hopefully as he watched the other men still hefting buckets of water onto the blaze, slowly bringing it under control.
Ed ran his blackened and blistered hands through his hair. “We’ll just have to make do.”
Sadie gently wrapped her arm around him, feeling the tension and strain in the taut muscles of his back.
“Come in to the house and let me tend to your burns, Eddie,” she said softly, leading him to the house while the rest of the barn crashed to the earth with a heavy rumble.
***
Dawn came slowly, inching its way through the kitchen windows through the haze of smoke and smoldering wood, crawling across the table where Ed, Sadie, Bayer and Mrs. Crumps sat, dealing with the aftermath of the fire.
“I don’t know what the two of you was thinkin’ racing into that barn like that,” Mrs. Crumps grumbled.
“We had to fetch the stock woman,” Bayer grumbled from a raw throat. The housekeeper plunked a cup of strong tea that had been brewing on the stove before him. “Drink.”
“Tea?” Bayer grumbled, but lifted the cup.
“Yes, tea and now for you, Edward Hampton.” She lifted the pot of dark red brew from the stove and dunked white clothes into the tepid liquid.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Ed asked, sounding nearly as hoarse as his old swamper.
“Never you mind, I know what I’m doing,” Mrs. Crumps grumbled, wringing out the cloth slightly before placing it over the angry red marks and blisters on his back. “It’ll help,” she added more softly.
“What will we do now?” Sadie asked tentatively, carefully reaching out to touch Ed’s clenched hand.
“I can’t rebuild before the snow flies.” Ed said, dropping his head and wincing as Mrs. Crumps continued to lay the tea-soaked compresses over his burns. “I’ve invested too much in the horses for this contract to build yet.”
“Where we gonna shelter them horses we’re trainin’ for that fancy officer?”
“I don’t know Bayer,” Ed ground, frustration edging into his voice. “We just don’t have the funds. I’ve put almost everything we have into these Cavalry horses and only have enough for necessities and pay.”
“If we get an early freeze, we could lose the cows,” Mrs. Crumps commented, still busy with her work.
“We could use some of that younger stock we’ve been working over at the sand hills corral, too,” Bayer said. “We was raisin’ them for that fella back east.”
Ed thumped his battered fists on the table, making the milk pitcher and mugs jump. “I know, I know!” he said, lowering his head in frustration.
Silently Sadie slipped from her chair, sweeping out of the room on the edges of her husband’s angry words.
Her heart ached for him. He’d worked so hard to move t
he ranch forward to do something that would provide stability and prosperity for the future of not only the ranch, but her and Faith.
Lifting her heavy skirts in her hand, she moved up the stairs to the room she shared with the man she’d come do love completely, closing the door behind her.
With deliberate steps, she moved to the bureau and reached beneath her underthings, grasping the overstuffed stocking in her fist then gripping it tight returned to the kitchen.
“Eddie.”
Ed Hampton lifted his head, his eyes weary and pained.
“I think I can help with the barn.”
Ed studied his old friend. Her beauty had only grown with age and he knew he’d never love another woman. No one could fill his heart as Sadie did.
“It’s not your problem, Sadie,” he offered, rising and moving to her in the door frame.
“If it’s your problem, it’s my problem,” Sadie countered.
“I promised I’d look after you and Faith,” Ed spoke, drawing close and taking her hand with a slight wince.
“Edward Hampton, I’m your wife and I married you for better or worse, for richer or poorer.” She smiled softly, the old spunk shining in her eyes.
“Sadie don’t worry. I’ll find a way. Everything will be alright.”
Sadie looked at Ed’s mostly bare torso covered in tea-stained strips and gently squeezed his hand. “I know it will be,” she said, leaning in and kissing him softly, wishing she could take away the pain in his eyes, “and I can help.” Opening his palm, she placed the heavy, silken bundle of coins in his hand. The old stocking jingled, filling his palm.
“Sadie,” Ed’s voice shivered with emotion, “this is yours.”
“No Ed, it’s ours,” Sadie said. “We’re together, you and me, no matter what comes our way.”
“You mean it, don’t you? You really mean it.”
“I do.” Sadie grinned, seeing joy flare in his eyes. “I love you Ed Hampton, without reservation.”
Ed pulled Sadie to him, kissing her passionately, letting all the fear and doubt and worry go like a feather on the wind. “I love you to Sadie,” he spoke, leaning his forehead against hers with a sigh.