by Jamie Pope
“Anything.” She sounded breathless. He knew better than to ask her if she was okay. She would avoid the question, pick a fight, do anything other than admit she was feeling vulnerable, but that’s what she was. She was strong as hell. Probably the strongest person he knew, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t need taking care of. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t try like hell to be the one to do so.
As he drove, he told her about the first time he had jumped out of a plane. It was before his army days. He had been sixteen and he had forged his father’s signature on a bunch of paperwork. He had made her laugh a couple of times and he had stretched out the story long enough to last him until he pulled up in front of her apartment.
“Thank you for telling me that story.”
“You’re welcome. Now there’s something I want you to do for me,” he said as he climbed the last few steps to her apartment.
“What’s that?”
“Open your door.”
A few seconds later she was there, barefoot and barefaced, looking relieved and devastated at the same time.
“I needed to see you,” he said, slipping his phone back into his pocket. It was true. He hadn’t seen her since the day Sunny was born. It had been almost a week. He missed her, but he knew her well enough to know that he had to give her a little space.
He shouldn’t have kissed her in front of her family even though he knew Wylie was aware and cool with the relationship. She had felt cornered and if he wanted to keep her, he couldn’t force this. He had to let her come to him, even if the wait had nearly killed him.
The tears started to stream down her face and he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her.
“My sweet girl.” He lifted her into his arms and kicked her door closed before taking her into her bedroom. He unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off, before pulling her shirt off over her head, and finally he removed her bra, revealing her perfect teardrop-shaped breasts. She sat there quietly, looking up at him with almost a serene expression. He was feeling the opposite of serene, like there was some raging beast inside of him roaring at him to strip off his clothes and bury himself inside of her. But he ignored that primal side of himself. Warned his erection to calm the hell down. He turned away from her, to her funky painted dresser and pulled out a nightgown. It was anything but seductive. It had yellow ducks printed on and looked like it would fit someone double her size.
“I don’t own many sexy things to sleep in, but I do own something sexier than this,” she said to him as he handed it to her.
“Put it on.”
She obeyed without another objection and he sat on the side of her bed and began to remove his shoes and shirt, before he stood up and took off his pants. He folded everything neatly and pulled down her big fluffy bedspread. “Get in.”
She looked at him curiously, but climbed beneath the comforter. He got in beside her, pulled her close, and placed his lips on her neck.
“Tanner?”
“Yes.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Waiting for you to tell me what’s wrong.”
“You don’t want to have sex with me?” He felt her hand stroke down the front of his underwear. His manhood twitched, asking to be freed, but Tanner removed Nova’s hand. He had to be stronger than his desires.
“I think about having sex with you eight hundred and forty-seven times a day. But right now I’m more interested in finding out what’s upsetting you.”
“I’d rather have sex.”
“No,” he said firmly. “Talk.”
She sighed. “Teo’s grandmother called me tonight.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t want to hear from her.”
“No. It scared me. They want to see him.”
“Why won’t you let them? It seems natural for grandparents to want to see their grandchildren. Especially if their son is gone.”
“They’ve only seen him twice before. It’s not as if I tore him away from them. When I was married to their son, they wanted nothing to do with us. They wouldn’t even come to the hospital to see him.”
“Did they hate you?”
“I don’t think so. But they had washed their hands of their son. Elijah was a drug addict. I should have recognized the signs when I had first met him, but I was kind of blinded by him. He was charming as hell and manipulating as the devil, which is why his parents wanted nothing to do with him. He stole rare artifacts from them and sold them for a tenth of what they were worth. I think they thought that he was using my pregnancy to get back in their pockets, and maybe he would have, and maybe they were right not to trust him, but I did have a baby and I did need their help and they completely ignored me. I had my baby alone in the hospital. No one was there, not even Elijah. I had called them. I had asked them to come, but they refused.”
“Oh, God, Nova. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. Where was your husband?”
“I still don’t know for sure. Doing something illegal somewhere.”
“Why didn’t you call Wylie or Mansi? They would have come for you.”
“Wylie was in Afghanistan. I didn’t know how to reach him and I was too embarrassed to call Mansi. She is so strong and I didn’t want to show her how bad I had let things get. She was not a fan of me marrying a man I barely knew at eighteen years old.”
“It sucks when the people who know you best, know what’s best for you, doesn’t it?”
She nodded. “I’m mad, Tanner. I’m mad at my mother for putting me into a position where I was forced to flee. I’m mad at Elijah for manipulating me into thinking that I needed him to survive. I’m mad at his parents for not helping me when I needed it the most, but most of all I’m mad at myself for not making different decisions.”
“If you had made different decisions, you might not be the person you are now. You might not have Teo and you would be miserable without him. You need him.”
“Oh, shut up.” She shut her eyes and inched closer to him. “I’m not in the mood for you to be supportive and understanding. You were supposed to screw my brains out and then leave.”
“Don’t say things like that.”
“Why not? I’m vulgar. Don’t you know who you’re trying to get involved with?”
“I’m not going anywhere. It’s not going to work. You’re not going to push me away.”
“You should run.” She opened her eyes and when she looked into his, there was something in the darkness of her eyes. Something he couldn’t describe, but it was beautiful and haunting.
“I don’t scare easily. I jumped out of planes for fun. Dealing with you is almost as big of a rush.”
She gave him a small smile and then pressed her lips to his. “You really are crazy, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Tell me one more thing. Why did you have to flee your mother?”
“No.” She shook her head. “You don’t want to know.”
“I do.”
“Too damn bad.” She kissed his lips once again. “You didn’t try to offer me advice on what I should do about my former mother-in-law.”
“If you want my advice, I’ll give it to you, but I didn’t come here to give you advice.”
“And you didn’t come here to have sex with me.”
“No.”
“We can if you want to. We just have to be quiet.”
“Not tonight. Soon, but not tonight. You’re tired. Go to sleep. I’m not leaving.”
She did fall asleep, her back toward him, but her body snuggled into his. He couldn’t fall asleep as easily. Two hours later he was still wide-awake. He was sleepy. He was comfortable. How could he not be in a soft bed with an even softer woman who smelled delicious? But his mind wouldn’t shut off and all of his thoughts were about her. If he were smart, he’d put his clothes back on and hightail it out of there, but he had never been known for making rational decisions.
He moved her hair and kissed the back of her neck. She didn’t even stir. The l
ight was still on, making the entire room bright, but it didn’t seem to bother her at all.
She claimed that she didn’t want this, but he knew she did. That she needed this as much as he did. They had been thrown together for some reason and they owed it to each other to see how things played out.
“Excuse me, Mr. Tanner?”
He looked toward the door to see Teo there, his face full of curiosity. “Hello.”
They had been busted and he knew that a huge part of Nova’s reservation was what to tell her son about them. She was right not to want to bring men into her son’s life. He had the feeling that her mother had brought far too many men into her young life. It was Tanner’s job to prove to her that she could trust him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t sleep so I came to see your mother. Did you need something? Did you have a bad dream?”
“I had to go to the bathroom. I saw the light on. I just wanted to make sure Mommy was okay.”
“She’s fine.”
“Sometimes she gets sad at night.”
“Oh?”
“Mansi says Mommy needs someone to take care of her. Mommy says she doesn’t need no stinking man.”
Tanner grinned. “Your family tells you a lot, don’t they?”
He shrugged. “Mansi says I need to stay out of adults’ business. She says I listen to things not meant for little boy ears.”
“I was the same way as a kid.”
“Are you Mommy’s boyfriend?”
“I want to be,” he answered honestly. “I don’t think she wants you to think that you aren’t the most important man in her life though. She always wants to make sure you are happy first.”
“I like you. You could be her boyfriend if you want to. Mommy likes you, too. She don’t like anybody, but she likes you.”
“I like you too, Mr. Teo. But we’re going to have to let your mother decide if I get to be her boyfriend.”
“I’ll talk to her for you. Sometimes she listens to me. She says I’m like a wise old man.”
Tanner just smiled at him again. He couldn’t disagree about that. “I think you should go back to bed, wise old man.”
“Okay. Are you going to stay tomorrow? I didn’t get to see you at practice this week.”
Tanner knew he shouldn’t promise things without clearing it with Nova, but he nodded. He’d missed Teo this week when he hadn’t made his weekly trip to the fields. He was becoming more and more attached to this little family. It was hard to imagine his life without them.
* * *
Nova woke up the next morning feeling better than she had in years. She’d slept the entire night. No tossing and turning. No fitful bouts of unrest, just deep uninterrupted sleep. The warm heavy giant who had her protectively encased in his body probably had something to do with that. She wished he hadn’t. She wished she could feel secure without him, but the truth was that the week without him had been a lonely one. It had been her doing. She had told everyone close to her, including him, that they weren’t together, and yet still she had watched for his SUV to arrive at the Little League fields. She had been more than a little disappointed when he hadn’t shown. She had felt guilty when she had to explain to Teo that Tanner was busy and that they couldn’t always expect him to be there. But he could have been there. She had pushed him away. She knew if she didn’t she would end up hurt in the long run, but if she did she would end up hurting now. Which was better?
She was going to move away from this place eventually. Maybe in the fall, just before Teo had to go back to school. It would be a natural time for a break. It would be easier to end things then. She wouldn’t have to worry about running into him everywhere she went in their small town.
For now she could enjoy him. Enjoy the spring and summer with him however long this lasted. She was just going to have to make sure she shielded what was left of her heart.
He had already snuck inside. She just had to make sure he didn’t run away with it.
Tanner moved her hair and kissed the side of her neck. She shut her eyes and let herself relax into the sensation of being kissed by a sexy slightly bearded man. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did. Very well. Which is surprising. I usually only sleep like that after hours of mind-numbing sex.”
“I don’t know if I can arrange hours of sex today, but if you’re a good girl, I can arrange twenty minutes of quiet sex tonight.”
She rolled over and smiled at him. “I don’t hate you for showing up at my place uninvited.”
“You’re welcome. I will show up uninvited more often.” He pressed a slow kiss to her lips. She went all liquidy again. She could strip him naked right now, but she knew she didn’t have time. Teo would probably be up soon.
“You have to go.”
“Why?” He frowned at her.
“My kid is going to catch us if you don’t.”
“We’re not doing anything wrong. I didn’t even get to have sex with you.”
“You could have. Your loss.” She tried to roll away from her, but he wouldn’t let her go.
“Not my loss. I missed you, Nova Reed. I know I must be insane to miss a prickly, big-mouthed pain in my ass, but I missed you this week. I don’t plan on missing you again.”
“Shut up,” she said without heat. She didn’t want him to go. “Just go home, get changed, and come back here. Teo is on spring break. I took some time off. We can do something.”
She heard her bedroom door open and her mouth dropped opened when she saw Teo walk in fully dressed.
“Good morning, Mommy. Good morning, Mr. Tanner. Can we go to the diner for breakfast? I want chocolate pancakes.”
“Hey, Teo!” Tanner rolled out of bed and picked her son up, ruffling his hair. “I like your dinosaur shirt.”
“I picked out my clothes all by myself. Do I match? Mommy said it’s important for clothes to match.”
“You match. Let’s make Mommy some coffee. We’ll go to the diner as soon as she finishes getting ready.”
“Don’t take too long, Mommy,” Teo said as they left the room. Nova stared at the door for a long time. She couldn’t wrap her head around what had just happened.
Chapter 11
“Damn it,” Nova cursed and slammed down her phone. “Damn it, damn it, damn it.”
“What’s wrong?” Tanner put down the newspaper he had been reading and walked into her tiny kitchen.
“Mansi can’t babysit for Teo tonight. She told me weeks ago that she couldn’t and I forgot. I can’t ask Wylie and Cass to do it. They just had a baby and her parents are there. I know they would do it, but I can’t in good conscience ask them to.” She put her head in her hands. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Where do you have to go?”
“It’s Thursday. I’m going where I always go on Thursday.”
Ever since he had known her, she had been disappearing on Thursday evenings. She said it was her date night. He once heard her tell her brother that she had gone out with a different guy every week, but he knew that it had all been bullshit. He had let it go, but tonight he was going to get at least this secret out of her. “You mean to tell me you have a date?”
She blinked. “Yes.”
He had been here every day with her and Teo since the kid started spring break. He knew there was no one else. “Give it up.”
“Okay. I’m not seeing anyone else. But I need my alone time. Thursday is my night to have it.”
He shook his head. “Try again.”
“It’s true!”
“You look like you’re in a panic. If it was just alone time, you could reschedule it, but you’re afraid of missing something. What is it? Don’t keep this from me, Nova. You know I’m a Ranger. I’ll track you down if I have to.”
“I’m afraid to tell you.” She actually did look nervous.
“You’re stripping at the Kitty Kat across town.”
“We both know that there is no strip club on th
is island!”
“Ok, so you’re going off island to do it. It’s okay, baby. If I looked like you I would charge money for people to see me naked, too.”
“I ran away from home my senior year and never finished high school,” she said so quietly he had to strain to hear her. “I was so close to finishing. I even had my college picked out. All I had to do was send out the application. I hated that I never got a diploma so I enrolled in night school classes. I’ve been going every Thursday for the past year and I’m only allowed to miss twice or I won’t be able to graduate at the end of this semester. I already missed once because Teo was sick. I worked so hard for this. I know it’s stupid, but it’s what I want more than anything right now.”
Tanner stood up and pulled her out of her chair and into his arms. He kissed her. He had to. He had thought he wanted her before, but he didn’t realize how bad it had gotten. He didn’t realize that he could feel so much for one woman. “I’ll take care of Teo.”
“What?”
“I’ll watch him. I’m a little annoyed that you never even considered me, Reed.”
“But . . .” There was a little fear there. It was more than uncertainty and he wondered how many times her mother had left her alone with some man who was up to no good.
“I know it’s hard, but you’re going to have to trust me with him.” He kissed her forehead. “You’re going to have to trust me with yourself.”
“Okay.” She exhaled. “If you . . .”
“No ifs. Trust me.”
She nodded and he kissed her again. “Teo!” He let her go and walked toward the boy’s bedroom where he was playing with the toy soldiers he had bought for him. “Pack a bag. We’re going swimming at my house.”
“It’s too cold to go to the beach,” Nova yelled as she came rushing from the kitchen.
“I have a pool.”
Teo came flying out of his room, his face full of excitement. “We get to go to your house? Mommy, Mr. Tanner has a huge house.”
“And a pool apparently.”
“It’s a little pool, but it’s inside. I never seen a pool inside of a house before.”
Nova’s eyes widened as her nostrils flared a bit. He picked Teo up and went into his room and grabbed a handful of clothes out of a drawer. He knew he had to get the hell out of there before Nova went all squirrelly on him. “Come over after you’re finished, Mommy. I’ll text you the address.”