by Jamie Pope
“Nova.” He followed her up the stairs.
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Well, we are going to talk about this. You owe me some sort of explanation, damn it.”
“I don’t owe you shit, Brennan. I’m not your property.” She unlocked her door and let herself inside her apartment.
“Didn’t you think anyone was going to find out? What happens when he gets out of jail? What happens when he wants to see his son?”
“That’s not going to happen!” She was terrified of that. Sometimes it kept her awake at night. He was furious with her when she had last seen him. Rail thin. In detox from whatever drug was his choice at the time. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the memories that were starting to invade.
“You don’t know that.”
“His parental rights were terminated. I have a restraining order. He can’t come here.”
“What happened to you?” He sat down on her sofa, looking more tortured than she had ever seen him. “Just tell me what he did to you.”
“He nearly beat me to death.” She went over to the decorative chest in her living room where she had kept little sentimental things that she had managed to keep with her throughout the years. Her father’s necklace. Letters that Wylie had sent to her when they were kids. A lock of Teo’s hair. And pictures. One of her parents. Some from her time spent on the island with Mansi and the ones she kept buried at the bottom of the box. The ones she never looked at, but kept there as a reminder to never get caught in a man’s trap again. “Look.” She shoved the pictures at him.
She heard the air wheeze out of him.
“Fractured my cheekbone. Busted my lips so hard I needed stitches. Broke my rib. Dislocated my shoulder. Should I go on?”
“No.” He shut his eyes and tossed the pictures on the coffee table. His hands were shaking.
“You want to know why I tell everyone he’s dead? It’s because I wish he was. I wish he would have gotten hit by a truck, or burned alive in a fire. And it’s not just because he beat me for telling him I was going to go to the police if he went through with the home invasion he was planning that night. It’s because he did it in front of Teo. And when Teo wouldn’t stop crying he flung him across the room. Teo was six months old. If he hadn’t landed on the couch, he could have died that day. And every time I look at my kid I feel an overwhelming guilt because I could have prevented that. I could have given him up for adoption to a wealthy young couple. I could have saved him from being exposed to drug and guns. I could have done more.”
“You should have called Wylie. He would have helped you.”
“I was ashamed, damn it! How many times do I have to tell you that?”
“He beat you to a pulp. Somebody needs to beat him to a pulp.”
“Wylie would have killed him. He would have found a way to kill him and he would have thrown away everything he had ever worked for. Wylie was the one who was given a shot. He was spared from life with my mother, and even though I was so jealous of him sometimes it made my stomach hurt, I didn’t want him to throw any of that away for me. I wasn’t sure if I could ever be anything but trash, but I knew he would make it and I couldn’t have interfered with that.”
“He’s going to be mad as hell when he finds out that your ex is alive.”
“He doesn’t have to know.”
“He’ll find out! I found out. And your son will find out. If anyone needs to know about this it’s Teo and he needs to hear it from you.”
“Hear that his father almost killed the both of us? Are you insane? No child needs to know that.”
“He may not need to know the details but he needs to know that his father is alive and that you left him for a good reason. Because there will be one day when Teo gets a letter or a phone call from his father and you won’t be able to do anything about it. He’s not going to think that you kept the truth from him to protect him. He’s going to see it as a lie. That you intentionally lied to him.”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”
“It’s not fair to keep this from him! He asks questions about him? He wants to know who he looks like. He wonders about the other side of his family. Identity is important. Knowing the facts about yourself is important, and you’re doing your child a disservice if you keep this from him.”
“You’re just a guy that I’m sleeping with. You don’t get a say in how I raise my kid.”
“Don’t go there, Nova,” he warned.
“Don’t go where? Just go home, Tanner, and stay there until you can learn how to mind your own damn business.”
“You want me gone? Fine. Right now I don’t want to be near you either.”
He stormed out, slamming the door behind him so hard that two pictures fell off the wall. She knew she had pushed him away, but it was for the best. After this weekend she was pretty sure she had fallen in love with him, and she had promised herself she would never let herself fall in love again.
It was a promise she had intended to keep.
* * *
“Tanner!”
Tanner shook himself out of his fog and looked over to Wylie who was sitting across from him in the office space they had secured in town. They were branching out. Tanner was going to be in charge of the government project in Chilmark and Wylie was going to head up the new part of their business. They were going to do construction on the island for the locals. The young men from Mansi’s tribe who had worked with them on the last project were going to stay on full-time.
Tanner was putting down roots, it seemed. He hadn’t been sure he was going to last here, but when he agreed to take on this bigger role, things had been going so well with Nova that he was thinking about her when he was thinking about those roots. But he had been premature with those thoughts. He hadn’t seen or spoken to her in nearly three days.
He kept thinking back on their fight. He wanted to say that it was stupid, that he was wrong, but he couldn’t do that. He stood by what he said to her. Even if her ex was a degenerate dirtbag who should have the shit stomped out of him, Teo deserved to know that he had a father. One who might try to contact him one day. It made sense now why she was so afraid when her former mother-in-law called out of the blue. Teo’s father probably wanted contact with him.
If Tanner were Nova he wouldn’t want that man anywhere around his kid either. But as a man who didn’t know where he came from, Tanner knew it was important for Teo to be told about the other half of him.
“Yeah?” he answered Wylie.
“I’ve been trying to talk to you for the past five minutes. You might as well be off the island, you’re so far away from here.”
“I’m fine.”
“Listen, you know I’m not one to get in your business, but you’re definitely not fine. You’ve been in a funk ever since you came back from Nantucket, and don’t get me started on Nova. She’s been quiet and there’s nothing worse than a quiet Nova.”
“You need to ask her about it.”
“I’m not asking her about it. I’m asking you about it.”
“It’s not my secret to tell.”
“Is she pregnant again?”
“No. I would be happy about that.”
“Would you?” Wylie sat up straight. “You’ve only been together for a little while.”
“I think it was about just as long as you and Cass were together before she got pregnant.”
“That’s different. We had history.”
“Yes, and that history included you two breaking up and her marrying another man who happened to be your best friend.”
“If we could get through that, we can get through anything.” Wylie grinned. “Just call Nova and tell her you’re sorry. You’ve been walking around the past few days like your dog died.”
“I’m not apologizing to her. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You know she’s not going to come to you. Nova is the biggest stubborn pain in the ass on the planet. She’s got a hell of a
lot of pride. She didn’t want to let anyone know how bad things got with my mother. She didn’t want to let us know how her husband was treating her. If it weren’t for Teo she never would have come back here and let us help her.”
“That’s what the fight is about.”
Wylie nodded. “It makes sense. It’s your relationship. It’s up to you how you handle it, but you can either be miserable or you can go see her. Call a stalemate. It’s the only way you’re going to survive life with my sister.”
Tanner wasn’t sure how he was going to handle things with Nova. He wouldn’t back down just because she didn’t agree with him. He would lose respect for himself if he did. He left work that day early. Their new project didn’t break ground for another month. He returned to his huge empty house. Teo had left his lunch box there. There was a Chapstick of Nova’s on the kitchen counter. A sweater of hers was in his bedroom. There were little signs of them all over the house.
He got out of the army because he needed to clear his head, because he needed space to think, but now he wanted something more to fill up his days other than his work.
His cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket to see that his father was calling. To say Tanner was surprised was an understatement. He had never heard from August even when he didn’t know that the man wasn’t related to him. He really didn’t expect to hear from him now that the truth had been revealed.
He answered, curious about why he called. “Dad?”
“You’re still calling me that?” he asked softly.
“Would you rather I not?” It was a serious question. They hadn’t left things in a good place. Tanner hadn’t left things in a good place. He walked out on him. He was too overwhelmed by the depth of his anger to stick around that day.
“You’re my son. You can know the truth, but as far as the rest of the world is concerned you are my only child. You will inherit everything that I own. You will bear my name.”
He wanted to say he didn’t want any of it. But he couldn’t give back the Brennan name, even if he felt detached from the family who gave it to him, it was his name. It was part of his identity. Besides, he didn’t have another one to replace it. “Okay. What can I do for you?”
“I was calling to see what I could do for you.” He paused. “I spoke to your mother. I told her you knew. She thinks I told you. She’s furious with me.”
“With all due respect, Dad, how is that different from any other day?”
His father laughed. “That’s true. I never understood what I had done to make her hate me so much.”
“You stayed. She wanted you to be the one to break it off so that she could play the victim. She’s used to getting what she wants and you didn’t give that to her.”
“That’s a harsh assessment of your mother.”
“She didn’t happen to tell you who he was, did she?”
“No, but I think it was someone who worked for your grandfather. Have you asked him?”
“He says he doesn’t know for sure and to ask my mother.”
“He would say that. I think it’s someone who worked for him during his reelection campaigns.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because she was so involved in them. She would spend hours at campaign headquarters. She would find excuses to be there. She would go on the road with your grandfather to make campaign stops and she would be so secretive.”
“She’s never devoted that much time to anything in her life.”
“I know and it happened twice. Six years apart. Once before we got married and right around the time you were conceived. And then it never happened again.”
“Do you think she just ended it?”
“Something happened. He moved away or got married. Something. I’m sure if he had asked her, she would have run away with him. Your mother’s always wanted the grand romance that I didn’t have in me to give to her.”
“She was always addicted to the drama. I hated that you were so distant when I was kid, but sometimes I hated the fact that she was too much, too damn draining, too over the top even more.”
“I never knew you felt that way. I always thought you had put her up on this pedestal. That you thought she was this perfect human and I was an evil creature, just here to punish you when you stepped out of line.”
“If it makes you feel better, I thought you were both awful,” Tanner said.
His father laughed again. “I’m glad we’re talking like this.”
“Why is it easier now than before?”
“Because there is no secret hanging between us. No fear that it’s going to slip out.”
“You should have told me years ago.”
“But we didn’t and I’m sorry and there’s nothing I can do to change it. So you can accept that and move on or you can go on hating me forever,” he said sternly in that voice that took Tanner right back to his teenage years. “But I hope you won’t hate me.”
“It takes too much out of me to hate you.”
“That’s why your mother and I are getting a divorce. It takes too much out of me to continue to fight.”
They were silent for a long moment and then his father spoke again. “If you want to know who your biological father is you need to find out who was working for your grandfather’s election the year before you born and the six years before that.”
* * *
“Stop hogging the baby, Nova!” Mansi swatted Nova on the behind, in an attempt to make her hand over Sunny, but Nova didn’t want to let her go.
“Buzz off, old woman. It’s not your turn.” She was perfect. Gorgeous brown skin, a head full of black curls, and big almond-shaped eyes that were the exact color of her father’s. “She smells so good. I used to sniff Teo all day. I can’t do that anymore unless I want a whiff of stinky little boy.”
“Teo’s not stinky,” Cass said from the couch. She looked exhausted but happy. The way all new mothers should look.
“That’s because I make him take a bath every single night. You should smell those feet after a soccer game.”
Cass laughed. “His clothes always smell so clean. You’re going to have to teach me how to do laundry. I’ve watched you but I can never get our clothes to smell as good.”
“Nova does do good laundry,” Mansi agreed, still hovering around Nova for her chance to hold the baby. “She missed her calling. She needs to forget about hair and makeup and open up a laundry service. Or better yet, just come over here and be my servant.”
“Nova’s never going to have to do her own laundry again,” Cass said with a grin. “Pictures of the wedding you did are all over the Internet. The bride’s face was on the cover of three magazines when I went to the supermarket. Your phone is going to be ringing off the hook for the next five years.”
It already was, but she didn’t tell them that. She had gotten a call from an actress who was getting married in New York in September. She wanted Nova for it. There had been full-time job offers, too. Two high-end salons, and the hair and makeup department from the highest rated talk show in the country had called. Their head makeup artist was retiring in the fall and they wanted her to replace him. The salary was huge. Four times what she made at the little shop in town. But she might be able to make more money as a traveling stylist. People were offering her thousands of dollars for one day of work. But in the end she had to what was best for her son, and what was best for him was to be with her.
“It was a good weekend,” she admitted.
“Then why did you come back so miserable?” Mansi asked her.
“I’m not miserable.” She handed the baby to her in hopes that would stop the questions sure to follow.
“Hello, precious,” Mansi cooed at the baby. “You are the luckiest child on the island. You have so many people to love you.” She sat down on her love seat, cradling the baby in her arms.
“You’re right about that,” Cass said. “This place does something to people. If Wylie hadn’t brought me here and introduc
ed me to you all, I don’t think I would be alive today. This placed squeezed all my broken pieces back together.”
Cass couldn’t have been more correct, and that’s what was troubling Nova. If she hadn’t come here when she did, she was sure she wouldn’t have made it to her next birthday, but Mansi had cleaned her up. Healed her wounds and put her on a path to pull herself out of the hole she was in.
How could she leave here? But with so many opportunities coming her way, how could she stay? It would almost seem like an insult to everything Mansi had taught her if she didn’t go out and show the world what she could do.
She sat on the love seat next to Mansi and rested her head on her Mansi’s arm. “Don’t worry, Nova.” Mansi kissed her hair. “I still love you a tiny bit more than everyone else.”
“You’d better.”
“Tell me what happened with Tanner to make you so sad.”
“What makes you thinks something happened?”
“I saw him. That’s how I know. The man looks pathetic.”
“He does not. It’s only been three days.”
“What happened?”
“My stupid ex-husband happened.”
“He’s dead.” Cass frowned. “What could have happened?”
“He’s not dead,” Nova admitted out loud for the first time. “He nearly beat me to death when he was high and now he’s in prison. He hurt Teo too, which is the reason I left. Tanner thinks it’s wrong of me to tell Teo his father is dead, but if Elijah comes anywhere near my kid, I’ll kill him. His rights were terminated. The only thing he gave Teo was some of his DNA. I don’t want him to know what a terrible person he is.”
“Does Wylie know about this?” Cass was alarmed by the revelation.
“Of course not.”
“He would kill him for you so you wouldn’t have to worry about telling a lie anymore.”
“Do you think what I did was wrong? How the hell am I supposed to tell Teo about his father? He’s a criminal and an addict and an abuser. How do I explain to a kindergartner that his father almost killed him and that’s why he’s not allowed to see him?”