by Tamie Dearen
“Sure, I’ll be right there.”
Anne threw her coat and gloves off and grabbed her laptop, heading for the penthouse apartment. She knocked on the door and Steven opened it immediately, blocking the doorway. He was still in his tuxedo pants, but his tie was off and his shirt was unbuttoned, hanging open. His chest was almost more appealing when only partially exposed, like a teasing entreaty. She had an insane urge to put out her hand and feel those firm muscles. She felt that familiar tingle as his fingertips brushed against hers when he took the laptop from her hands. He opened it and made the connection to the office computer, pulling up his daily schedule.
He muttered something about checking his schedule for the next day. “Oh good, I don’t have anything scheduled during lunch.”
“Oh, I could have just told you that. I almost never schedule anything during your lunch. I think it’s too important for you to eat well.”
Steven turned around and took a few steps inside. “Good news, Ellen. I’m open for lunch tomorrow.”
Anne’s eyes followed Steven's. They stopped when they fell on Ellen, sitting on Steven's soft leather sofa with a glass of red wine in her hand. Her expression, as she returned Anne’s gaze, was incredibly awkward.
Anne’s eyes took in the atmosphere. Ellen’s bare feet, her sexy dress, the wine, Steven’s open shirt, and soft music on the stereo. She turned around slowly and walked away. She heard Steven's voice behind her, but she ignored it. Instead she kept walking past the elevator to the stairway, and started down the stairs.
She needed to get control of her emotions. She should have been ready for this, but she wasn’t. Was she crying? She breathed slowly, concentrating on stopping the tears. This was what she wanted. It was for the best. Ellen was a good match for him. She’d done her job well. Anyway, it was just one date. Who knew if this would really lead to anything? But didn’t she want it to lead to something? Didn’t she want Steven and Ellen to be together? What did she want? She wanted him to kiss her again. At least, that’s what her body wanted. But her mind knew she wouldn’t be able to stop with a kiss. It was better this way. It was better for him to be with Ellen.
She walked all the way down the stairs to the lobby. In a daze, she moved through the lobby and outside the door. Her tears dried on her face in the chilly wind. She was standing outside in the cold, when Antonio came out to talk to her.
“Hey, Anne. Are you expecting someone? Why don’t you wait inside? You’re going to freeze out here without a coat.”
Anne turned glazed eyes to Antonio, trying to comprehend what he was saying.
“Aren’t you cold?” She looked down at her hands and noticed she was shivering. “Do you want to wait inside?”
“Okay,” she agreed, but her body didn’t respond to her brain.
He took her elbow and led her inside the door. “Why don’t you come and sit over here, out of the wind for a second? Who are you waiting for?”
“Waiting for? No one. I wasn’t waiting for anyone. I was just… I was just hot, I guess.”
“Are you okay? Rayna’s gone upstairs, but I could get her for you.”
“No, I don’t need anyone. I’ll go home.” Anne rose and headed for the elevator. After a few steps she stopped and turned back to Antonio. “Do you love Rayna?”
He blushed. “Yes. I’m going to buy her a ring soon. But don’t tell her—it’s a secret.”
She smiled. “I’m so glad. It really does make me happy when two people find each other. It really does.”
“Okay.” Antonio’s expression was full of confusion. Then he shook his head and added in a low voice, “Wow, I really don’t understand women.”
Chapter Sixteen – Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
Anne slept fitfully. When she woke up at five a.m., she knew sleep was a lost cause. She thought about working out, but she really didn’t feel well. Her body felt tired and achy, almost feverish. She made a cup of hot tea, poured it into an insulated mug, and headed to work without attempting to put food into her churning stomach.
Arriving at the office, she was so early the night guard had to let her inside. She sat down and started into her backlog of work, gaining some level of satisfaction from her productive activity. She dreaded having to face Steven, and had practiced looking nonchalant and happy about his successful date with Ellen. She tried hard not to imagine what must have happened after she left them alone in his apartment—that really wasn’t her business. Like she’d told herself before. Steven was a man. He had needs she couldn’t meet. No, that wasn’t right. She could meet those needs, but she wouldn’t. It was her choice, and now she had to live with the consequences of that choice.
Katie was still coming in to work part time, and she arrived before Steven. Anne pulled up a chair for her and started asking her every question she could conjure. Her ploy worked, for when Steven arrived, she was still deep in conversation with Katie. He stopped at her desk, as if waiting for an opening to speak.
“Yes sir? Did you need something?” she asked without quite making eye contact.
“I… I wanted to give you your computer back. Thanks for your help.”
“Sure, I was happy to help you.” Anne hoped she succeeded in sounding upbeat.
Steven remained standing at her desk, until Katie finally looked at him and rolled her eyes.
“Mr. Gherring, did you want to talk to Ms. Best alone?”
Anne attempted to skewer Katie with her eyes, but she smiled back.
“Yes, thank you, Ms. Carson. And tell Gary I said hello.”
Anne found herself alone with Steven. She was grateful they were at least in the common area and not in his office. He leaned over to get her attention, but she kept at her task, never raising her eyes.
“Yes, Mr. Gherring? What did you need? I’m really busy today. I have so much to do.”
“I… I wanted to be sure you’re okay. You left in a hurry last night. I thought—”
“Yes I’m okay. Is there anything else?”
“I was thinking maybe we should talk.”
“Aren’t we talking now, Mr. Gherring?”
“I think you know what I mean.”
She was still trying to form an answer in her head when the elevator doors opened, and Michelle stepped out.
“Steven,” she cried, crossing quickly to him and throwing her arms around his neck. “It’s awful!” She began to sob. “Oh, Steven! You have to help me. It didn’t work. He’s—” She took his hand. “Please, I can’t talk about it out here.” She cast red-rimmed eyes in Anne’s direction.
Steven couldn’t hide his frustration as he followed Michelle into his office. He paused and turned back to Anne. “This conversation isn’t over.”
That was all the warning Anne needed. She had to find a place to hide for the rest of the day.
She called Jared and arranged to spend the entire morning training with him in the CMA department. Sending him off to lunch at twelve, she remained working at Shanna Matheson’s desk. She was glad Shanna hadn’t yet returned to work after her maternity leave. Her goal was to avoid talking to Steven alone if possible. Also, she didn’t want to see him immediately before or after his lunch with Ellen. She just wasn’t sure she could control her emotions. She certainly wasn’t going to eat next door at Papa’s Place. Steven and Ellen could be going there for lunch.
Anyway, she wasn’t the least bit hungry. She felt much the same as she did after learning of Tom’s death, a little in shock. She reasoned her emotions just needed time to adjust to this new reality. It’s not like those few kisses she’d experienced had been satisfying in any way. On the contrary, she felt a longing and a distinct dissatisfaction. Pursuing more physical contact with Steven Gherring would bring nothing but disappointment. The only logical conclusion to a physical relationship with Steven was to either stand by her convictions and experience frustration, or give in to temptation and experience temporary physical pleasure, followed by guilt and self-condemnation. She’d made her
decision. Now she just had to learn to live with it.
Johanna called, but Anne let the call go to her voicemail and turned her cell phone off. Johanna was too astute. She’d sense immediately something was wrong. She needed to gain her composure before talking to Johanna.
When Jared returned from lunch, he brought something for her to eat. She thanked him profusely for the thoughtful gesture, and pretended to eat something. But the thought of actually swallowing food made her gag. As had happened in the past when she was upset emotionally, Anne became almost robotic in her work. She functioned quickly and methodically, churning out data reports and comparative charts.
When she asked Jared to check her work, he whistled.
“Wow, Anne. You did all that today? If you keep this up, they’ll fire me and Shanna, both.”
“But it looks correct? I just want to make sure I’m doing it right.”
“It looks perfect. Why don’t you take a break? You look a little tired.”
“No, I want to tackle the yearly estimates, taking the tax changes into account.”
“Well, okay. But we usually let the Accounting department do that one.”
“I’m not sure. But I think my new department is supposed to cover that as well. Anyway, I’m going to try—”
“No, you’re not,” Steven's voice rang out behind her. “You’re not expected to do that report. And it’s time you took a break to eat something.”
“You were right, Boss—she didn’t touch the lunch I brought her.”
Anne glared at Jared, but he grinned, shrugging. “Sorry, Anne. Us guys have to stick together. Beside’s he pays me.”
“Did you even have breakfast?” Steven demanded.
“It’s none of your business what I do or don’t eat,” she pouted. “What do you care anyway, as long as I get the work done?”
Steven’s face grew red and the veins stood out on his neck until it looked as if he might explode.
“Oh, that’s my cue. I’m outta here.” Jared melted out the door.
“I think I’ve shown I care what happens to you,” Steven said evenly. “Now I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, and I’m going to ask my question again. Did you eat breakfast today?”
“You don’t understand. I can’t eat. My stomach is upset.”
“And did you drink anything today?”
“Yes, I made a cup of tea this morning,” she said defiantly.
“And you drank it?”
“Of course.”
Steven pulled a familiar insulated mug from behind his back and shook it. “It seems full to me.”
“Oh…” Anne was confused. “Maybe I forgot…”
He pinched her arm.
“Ow—that hurt!”
“You’re dehydrated. Look at your skin—it doesn’t spring back.” He heaved out a huge breath. “Wait here.”
He disappeared through the door and came back moments later with two bottles of water.
“Ughh—please don’t make me drink that. You know I don’t like to drink water. I don’t feel well right now. It’ll make me throw up.”
“You can drink this water or I’ll drive you to the hospital and hook you up to an IV. Your choice.”
Anne opened her mouth to protest, but she quailed at his fierce expression. She obediently reached out to take the water bottle.
“And your hand is shaking. You can’t do this, Anne. You have to take care of yourself.”
“It’s not like I was going to die,” she retorted, forcing down a small amount of water. “I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time, without any help from you or anyone else.”
“And evidently doing a poor job of it.” He started pacing, stopping every so often to glare at her until she obediently swallowed some water. “I meet you after forty-five years, and it turns out you’re only alive by lucky happenstance.”
She started to protest again. But he shot her another look, and she took another sip of water instead.
“We still need to talk, but I can see this is not the time for it. And I suppose you turned off your cell phone. Alexander and Johanna came by. They wanted to take you and I to lunch, so we went without you.”
“But I thought you were going to lunch with Ellen?”
“No, she had to work through lunch.”
She could tell he was watching for a reaction. Her heart gave a little leap of joy, but she tamped it down with her brain. Steven was hitting it off with Ellen, and hadn’t that been her plan all along?
“I’m sorry that didn’t work out.”
“You are? I thought maybe… Oh never mind, drink some more. You’ve barely touched that water.” He paused to watch her sip some more. “Johanna wants you to call her.”
“Okay,” Anne reached for her cell phone, but Steven grabbed her hand. An electric jolt shot up her arm, and she jerked her hand away.
“After you drink your water.”
“This is silly. I know you have more important things to do than to babysit me while I drink water. You go, and I promise to drink it.”
He sat down next to her and pulled her computer toward him. “You’re right. I do have work to do. I just don’t have anything more important to do. So I’ll work right here until you finish drinking.” He began sorting his email.
She sighed and forced another gulp into her protesting stomach. Staring glumly at the daunting bottle and a half of water in front of her, and knew she could never down that much water. At least she wouldn’t be able to keep it down. She picked up the water bottles and said, “I think I’ll just take these to the lounge area. Maybe if I had some crackers, I could drink more.”
Without taking his eyes off the computer, Steven reached into his pocket and pulled out a package of her favorite cheese crackers from the vending machine. He waved them in the air, until she snatched them from his hand with considerable irritation.
She snacked on the crackers and drank her water until all of one bottle and most of the other was gone. But he continued working on her computer, ignoring her completely. She turned on her cell phone and found two missed calls from Johanna, two from Steven, and one from Sam. She decided to return Johanna’s call first.
“Hi, Johanna.” At Steven's glare, she grabbed the water and took a swallow.
“Hello Anne. We are so sorry we missed you at lunch. But we have tickets to go to a jazz club show tonight. Do you like jazz?”
“I love it—that’d be fun.” She really needed the distraction. Anything to stop thinking about Steven.
“Dress warmly. To get good seats, you have to arrive early and be in the front of the line.”
“Okay, what time?”
She heard Johanna confer with her husband. “We will pick you up at six thirty. Okay?”
“That sounds great.”
Next, she called Sam, swallowing more water to pacify Steven as she waited for her to answer.
“Hey Anne. I wanted to apologize I didn’t believe you the other day when you said you weren’t with Mr. Gherring.”
“That’s okay, Sam. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. But I’m glad you believe me now.”
“Well, after I saw Mr. Gherring’s picture in the social column this morning, I knew you were telling the truth.”
Her mouth went dry. “What picture?” She peeked at Steven to ensure he wasn’t listening in.
“You should see it. He’s with this beautiful girl with amazing long, straight hair. She looks kind of exotic. He has his arm around her and he’s actually smiling. You know, he looks like he’s posing for the cameras. Usually, he looks really grumpy in the pictures or else they get a candid shot when no one is looking. And here, I’ll read you the caption. Steven Gherring is always shopping for new talent. This one is actress, Ellen Dean, from the new play, ‘Rainbow Junction’. Don’t they look cozy? Maybe New York’s most eligible bachelor will be off the bachelor list soon.” She prattled on, full of excitement “So, do you think he’s really going to marry this girl? Everyone
was kind of pulling for you before, but this girl’s really beautiful. They’d have amazing-looking kids together.”
“Oh… Yes, I hope that works out.” Anne tried to keep her words neutral for Steven's benefit. “Well, I’d better get back to work.”
Overwhelmed by a sudden intense nausea, she flung her phone down and dashed for the ladies room, barely making the toilet before her stomach emptied its contents. She was humiliated at the gagging sounds she made, since there appeared to be someone else in the bathroom. So she hid in the stall until she was certain no one would see her make an exit. At the sink she washed her mouth and face, startled by the stark appearance of her sunken eyes in the mirror. She tried to improve her looks, smoothing her hair around her face. Finally, she gave up and exited the restroom, only to find Steven pacing outside the door.
“Are you okay?” he said, grabbing her by her arms. “Do we need to go to the hospital? Someone said you were throwing up.”
She was mortified he knew she vomited. Mortified other people knew. She was mortified about everything.
“Great… Now the whole office will think I’m pregnant and the baby is yours.”
“It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. I… Could you be pregnant?”
“Well yes, if you believe in Immaculate Conception,” she sniped.
“No—I mean—I thought you were too… Don’t you eventually get to the point where you can’t have children?”
Her cheeks flamed. “I haven’t gone through menopause yet. That’s usually around age fifty. And I can’t believe I’m discussing this with you.” She stomped back toward the CMA department.
Steven arrived a few minutes later with two more bottles of water. “Come on, I’m taking you home. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to start drinking again, now that you threw up that last water.” He lifted her from the chair by her arm and urged her toward the door.
She’d finally had enough of his controlling attitude, and she’d had way too much water. “There’s no possible way I can drink any m—”
“If we don’t get some fluid into you and keep it down, we won’t be able to go see the jazz show tonight.”