Holding On

by Karen Stivali

  He kissed her, his silky hair grazing her cheek then her neck as he trailed his lips to her collarbone. His fingers, tender and gentle, ran up her thigh making her insides flutter with anticipation.

  She wrapped her arms around him, drawing him closer, until he was situated. His hardness rubbed against her. “Ready?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.

  “God yes.” She took a breath and placed the tip of him inside her. The condom rasped a little, but she didn’t care. She tilted her hips and raised them, loving the sound he emitted as he slipped all the way in.

  He moved slowly and she knew he was trying to be as gentle as possible, but she was still a bit sore. She shifted beneath him, trying to find a position that was comfortable.

  “Are you okay?” He held still, his face colored with concern.

  She ran her knuckles across his cheek then brought her lips to his. Kissing him sent a wave of heat rippling through her. She could feel the ache in her belly lessening as everything liquefied. Daniel expanded inside her, his cock felt hard as stone. She rocked back and forth, knowing he was close to coming.

  The pressure built deep within her as she swelled around him. It felt so good to be with him again. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate, willing herself to let go. Daniel started to shake, his lips more urgent against hers, then she felt him give way. He cried out, muffling the sound against the pillow behind her head. She quickened her pace. She was close. So close. But it wasn’t going to happen.

  Daniel continued to move, and she knew he was trying to help her along. She kissed him, running her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay,” she said

  He pulled back to look at her, his brow pinched. “I can keep going.”

  She smiled. He still seemed rock hard. “I’m sure you could, but it’s not necessary.”

  He stilled. “Am I hurting you?”

  “No, it’s just not going to happen. Not today.”

  “Oh.” He raised his hips and slipped off her, looking confused.

  She waited until he’d removed the condom and lay back down. She ran her hand down his chest, playing with the hair on his tummy. “It’s no big deal.” She kissed his arm. “It takes a while to get back into things after all the baby hormones.”

  ****

  He propped himself up, facing her. “Is there anything I can do? Anything else?” His fingers traced her hip, eager to do whatever she might ask of them.

  She shook her head, and he frowned. Marienne laughed. “Don’t look so distraught. It’s not a big deal.”

  It is to me. He wanted to make her happy. It hadn’t occurred to him that sex might feel different for her now. “Did this happen with Ella?”

  “Yes. Much worse, actually. Though part of that was probably that I didn’t really want to be having sex with Frank. That was never one of the best parts of our marriage.”

  “You did want to try tonight, right?”

  She let out an exasperated gasp. “Yes.” She turned his face, her round eyes focused right on his. “I couldn’t wait to make love with you again. I don’t care that I didn’t have an orgasm, I just wanted to be with you.”

  Daniel’s heart filled. “Well you can be with me whenever you’d like.” He kissed the side of her head, feeling her relax alongside him. Within moments her breathing slowed, and he knew she was asleep.

  The fact that she hadn’t come was unsettling. Was it still pleasurable? Would doing it more often make the ability return faster? And, most importantly, when could they try again?

  Chapter Twenty

  Lynn stopped by the following afternoon. Marienne was glad for the adult company. Drew had been restless all morning, making packing nearly impossible. He’d finally settled in for a nap and Ella was thrilled to have Rebecca over for a play date. It was warm enough that the girls decided to play in the back yard. Marienne kept the sliding glass door open so they could keep an eye on them.

  She poured Lynn a glass of iced tea. “How are things with you and Mitch?”

  Lynn gave her a wicked smile. “Very good. Turned out he liked the idea of having sex in different rooms of the house, so now we do.”

  Marienne laughed. “Okay.”

  “We put up a child gate at the top of the stairs, saying it was to keep the dogs out of the bedrooms, but really it’s just our warning system so we can hear if the kids are coming down.”

  “Clever.” Marienne nibbled a lemon square.

  “What about you two? Are you back in the saddle yet? So to speak.”

  “Funny you should ask. We just tried last night.”

  Lynn set her glass down. “Tried? That doesn’t sound great.”

  “It wasn’t great.” Marienne traced her finger along the edge of the table, remembering. “But it was nice.”

  “Nice?” Lynn twisted her face into a scowl.

  “Well, I’m not fully…functional. Yet.”

  “Ahhhh. No ‘O’?”

  Marienne shook her head.

  “Well I’m sure Daniel was relieved just to be at it again.”

  “Yeah. Though he looked a bit unnerved by the fact that I didn’t finish.”

  Lynn grabbed a napkin and wiped the powdered sugar off her mouth. “Be glad he cares. That was the least of Mitch’s concerns after the girls were born.”

  “I think he was just surprised. It’s never happened before.”

  Lynn’s eyes popped wide. “You mean you always come with him?”

  Marienne couldn’t keep the grin off her face. “Usually more than once.”

  “Damn. Well, yeah. No wonder the guy noticed.” She shook her head, clearly in awe. “Every time?”

  Marienne nodded.

  Lynn plucked a catalog off the center island and fanned herself before starting to flip through it. “I’m almost afraid to ask. Is there any news on the job situation?”

  “He took the offer. It just became final a few days ago. I’m trying not to obsess about it. There’s so much to do. He has to give notice. And we have to tell Ruth.”

  Lynn’s eyes shot to hers. “That doesn’t sound fun.”

  Marienne swirled her finger through the condensation on her glass. “No, not at all.”

  “I can’t believe we won’t be neighbors anymore. Who am I going to talk about sex with?”

  “I’m sure there are some other moms who can fill my shoes.”

  “Maybe. But I doubt their husbands will be as much fun to ogle.”

  ****

  When Lynn left, Marienne headed to her computer and started looking up things about New Hampshire. Her stomach quivered with first-day-at-a-new-school excitement. Everything about Hanover sounded wonderful. Small but highly rated school system. Lots of community activities. She already knew the area was beautiful.

  “What are you looking at, Mommy?” Ella came up alongside her, slurping on a juice box.

  “This is the town Daddy and I visited a few months ago. Remember? You stayed at Grandma’s?”

  Ella nodded, her eyes scanning the photos. “What’s that?” She pointed to the big clock tower on Dartmouth’s campus.

  Marienne debated how much to explain to her. She wasn’t sure how to tell her about the move so she decided to wait. “That’s a college where Daddy’s friend teaches.”

  “Pretty.” Ella swiveled on one foot like she was standing at the ballet bar. I hope there’s a dance school up there.

  The front door opened and Daniel walked into the house.

  “Daddy!” Ella scampered toward him and flung herself onto his leg, like she’d done since she was a toddler.

  “Hey sweet girl.” He scooped her into a hug and kissed her cheek. “How was your day?”

  “Good. Rebecca came over and we played picnic.”

  He strode into the kitchen and bent to kiss Marienne. “Research?” He noted her laptop as Ella shimmied down onto the floor.

  “Yes. You’re home early. Is everything okay?”

  “Fine. The afternoon meeting was cancelled so I decided to h
ead home. Thought maybe we could get takeout or even try going out, if you’d like.” He brushed the hair away from her neck and nuzzled her.

  Marienne closed her eyes. “That feels nice.”

  He slid her shirt aside ever so slightly and kissed her bare shoulder. “Good.”

  Warmth tingled through her, settling between her legs. Maybe it’s not going to take that long to get things back on track. His hand trailed down her spine. She glanced into the family room. Ella was watching TV, and Drew was lying in his baby seat, napping peacefully. She kissed Daniel, feeling him harden against her leg. She slid her lips over to his ear and whispered. “Do you want to sneak upstairs?”

  His eyes grew huge, a smile spreading across his features. He glanced at the kids. “You think they’ll stay.”

  Marienne shrugged. “Ella, Daddy’s going to go help me take care of something upstairs. Yell up if you need anything or if your brother wakes up, okay?”

  “Okay, Mommy.” She flopped onto her belly, her legs kicking in rhythm with the music from The Wiggles.

  Marienne took Daniel’s hand and pulled him toward the stairs.

  ****

  Daniel had only wanted to help out with the offer of dinner. He hadn’t expected it to work any miracles. No sooner were they in the bedroom than she was all over him, hands everywhere, pulling his shirt from his trousers, unzipping his fly, wrapping around him.

  “What’s gotten into you?” he asked when she gave him a chance to breathe.

  “Hopefully you.” She fished a condom out of the drawer then slipped him into her mouth.

  “Jesus.” He put his hand on the wall to steady himself. She spiraled her tongue around him, her hair grazing his thighs and stomach on every downward thrust. She pulled back with a sly smile on her face and slid the condom over him.

  He remained standing and watched as she wriggled out of her pants and scooted back on the bed. She grabbed his hand and held it to her. His breath hissed out of him. “You’re so wet.”

  “Hormones.” She lifted herself toward him, rocking against his fingers. He thought maybe she wanted to try like that. “I want you.” She locked one leg around his hip and there was no mistaking what she meant.

  He lowered himself into her. So warm. So good. His knees pressed into the seam of the mattress. He braced himself with one arm and slid the other hand between them to resume his stroking. Her eyes rolled back as she arched her neck. She looked so beautiful. Her cheeks flushed, her hair splayed across the bedspread, breasts straining against her shirt.

  He could feel her getting close, quivering beneath him. He kept the rhythm, moving gently in and outside her until he felt her release. She tightened around him, gasping his name. A rush of pride washed through him, along with a surge of pleasure as he pulsed inside her.

  Careful to be as gentle as possible he pulled out and collapsed on the bed alongside her. “I should offer to get takeout more often.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The ‘For Sale’ sign had been on their front yard for three weeks but it still took Marienne by surprise every time she saw it. She pulled into the driveway and glanced into the back seat. Ella and Drew had both fallen asleep on the ride home. Marienne closed her eyes, seriously considering a nap.

  She’d been up at four in the morning with Drew, and instead of going back to bed she’d started looking at the real estate websites again. There was one house that had looked particularly promising. According to the listing, it was less than five minutes from campus and, at least in the pictures, it was gorgeous. Classic Victorian styling with a big front porch, complete with a porch swing. The yard was big enough for a play set. And there was already a home office and spare room on the first floor.

  Daniel hadn’t had a chance to look at it before he left for work, but she had a feeling he would like it. Her plan was to have at least a few places in mind before they went up to look. The whole idea of buying a house someplace she was unfamiliar with was still freaking her out, but once she’d seen several homes she liked online she felt a little better. It was exciting to think about having a place that was just theirs. No history. Just a future.

  Ella yawned. “Can I have a snack?”

  “Sure, Sweetie, let’s get all the groceries in the house.”

  Marienne settled Ella in front of the TV with some goldfish and a juice box. She’d managed to keep Drew asleep in his car seat, which now sat on the family room floor. She listened to the answering machine messages while she put away the groceries.

  Two messages from realtors, asking to set up showings for the house. One from Ruth, confirming Ella’s visit for the weekend, and a message from their listing agent, Constance, saying they had a bid on the house.

  Marienne’s heart beat faster. A bid? She picked up the phone to call Daniel but realized he was still in class. She called Constance instead.

  “I’m so glad you called back. The Hendersons, from last Thursday, have decided to place a bid. It seems the house they had their heart set on was bought out from under them, and they’ve decided not to take any chances on losing yours. It’s a solid offer, but honestly, I think they’ll meet your asking price. They’re very interested.”

  “That’s great. I guess.” Marienne’s mind was spinning.

  “There’s one minor issue.” Constance’s tone changed ever so slightly.

  “Oh God, what?”

  “They’ve already sold their place, so they’re looking to move in as soon as possible. How quickly can you be out?”

  Marienne had to sit down. “Not that quickly. We don’t have a place in Hanover yet, and Daniel has to finish out the semester here. We were planning on moving sometime mid to late summer.”

  “Could you move that up to June?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I need to give them a date or at least a ballpark idea. They might be willing to stay in an apartment for a month, but there’s no way they’d wait until August.”

  “I have to talk to Daniel. And we’d need to find a house in New Hampshire and be able to close on it.” Marienne realized she was still holding a box of cereal and put it down on the counter.

  “I understand.” Constance had her all-business voice on. “You two talk it over but get back to me as soon as you can. Call me at home tonight, okay?”

  “I will.”

  Marienne slumped into a kitchen chair.

  I can’t believe this.

  ****

  Daniel could hear the panic in Marienne’s voice the minute he answered the phone. “She thinks they might be willing to meet our price? That’s fantastic,” he said.

  “Yes, that part’s great. It’s the part where they need us out as soon as possible that’s a problem.”

  “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out when I get home. I’ll call Arnold and see if he found out anything more about the place he mentioned. It’ll all work out.”

  He hung up feeling a headache brewing. Can I really finish up work here, pack up my office and an entire house in a month? He knew he had to stay calm for Marienne, but the undertaking sounded a bit unrealistic. Full price for the house certainly made it tempting.

  He left a message for Arnold then clicked the links in the email Marienne had sent.

  Christina popped her head into his office. “How’s it going?”

  “Good, I think.”

  “House hunting?” She pointed to his screen.

  “Yes. What do you think of this one?” He rolled his chair back so she could step closer and have a look.

  “It’s beautiful, if you like that classic, old-fashioned, perfect house to raise a family in kind of thing.”

  “I’m going to miss you,” he said.

  “You’re such a sap.”

  “You’re going to miss me too. The next occupant of this office may not bring you food on demand.”

  “He will if he knows what’s good for him.”

  Daniel fiddled with a pen. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
/>   Christina’s eyes narrowed. “You mean moving?”

  “Yes. I mean I know it’s a bit late, but is this crazy? I feel like it’s all happening so fast.”

  “I think it’s going to work out really well. You’ll fit right in up there. I bet your picture will be in the next round of admissions catalogs. Dartmouth is still trying to up their female student ratio, you know.”

  Daniel laughed.

  “And I am going to miss you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “I wish you didn’t have to go by yourself,” Marienne said, bouncing Drew on her hip to try to get him to stop crying.

  “I don’t think we have a choice.” Daniel zipped his suitcase shut. “We can’t take a trip that long with a teething baby and a four-year-old with an ear infection.”

  “I know.” Marienne sat on the edge of the bed. Drew grabbed a handful of her hair and tried to gnaw on it. “Can you hand me that hair clip, please?”

  Daniel plucked the tortoise shell clip out of the basket on Marienne’s dresser and handed it to her.

  She reached behind her head with one hand, trying to twist her hair up, without dropping Drew.

  “Here,” Daniel slicked her hair back and turned it twice, then bent it upward. He reached over and took the hairclip and clamped it onto her thick wavy locks. “How’s that?”

  Marienne turned to look at him over her shoulder. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

  “Ella taught me.” He left his hands on her neck, massaging gently. “Plus I’ve seen you do it two thousand times.” He kissed her shoulder.

  “I really wish we were going with you.”

  ****

  Daniel left after the kids were asleep. He figured there would be less traffic if he drove late at night, and he was right. Once he crossed the Tappan Zee Bridge, the roads were nearly empty.

  Arnold had told him that he could arrive any time. He and his wife were away for the weekend, so Daniel wouldn’t be waking anyone. He said he’d leave the door unlocked, but in case he forgot there was a key in the flowerpot on the back porch. “Are you sure it’s safe to leave a key like that?” Daniel had asked.