by L. M. Moore
“Lew, he’s my father… my mentor, my—” She paused and then just stopped.
“Then, is it you? Can you let go of him?”
“I did many years ago. That’s not the issue.”
So it was Danel. I could feel my anger grow and she was acutely aware of what I was feeling.
“Lewis, we are connected, me and Danel,” she said, almost fearfully. She was trying to explain something to me. As if hurting Danel would in turn somehow hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt him. I just wanted him to leave us alone. I wanted him to leave her alone. But she said nothing to explain the secrecy of her meeting Collin here. She divulged nothing that would explain how she was bound to Danel. The only understanding I could muster was that she was trying to break that invisible hold that Danel had over her and somehow Collin could help her do this. I was guessing, but I felt pretty confident in my assumptions.
“He should have let me die a long time ago,” she whispered.
This statement utterly confused me. This made me angry with Danel and I wasn’t completely sure why. Yet I was certain that Danel was in control of what tied them together. To me, it looked like if Kye could’ve broken this link, she would’ve done it years ago. I couldn’t push her for more information; she would explain it to me in her own time. I held her tightly, knowing that she was trapped by him somehow.
Hybrid or not, she was not his property and I would do something about it. Something she certainly wouldn’t agree with and hopefully she would forgive me for. I would confront Danel and force him, one way or another, to release her to me. And now that I was changed and stronger than him, another confrontation sounded just fine.
I searched Ben’s memories for information about Danel and Kye, but it was jumbled together with memories of Romans and Egyptians in a tunnel-like view. I wouldn’t let Ben’s emotions for Danel cloud my thinking or my actions. I could sense Danel’s hatred for humans swimming over me, even now. I quickly shoved this out of my brain, my human brain that just wouldn’t show me the memories I needed to see.
I grew irritated by my limited human mind that wouldn’t allow me to know or remember what tied Kye to Danel. I wanted Kye; I wanted Kye forever. At this point, I had no choice. I would force him to let her go. I kissed her cheek gently and assured her I wouldn’t speak of this to anyone. I left the medical lab thinking of only one thing, which I masked from Kye: what I was going to do or have to do to Danel.
CHAPTER 46
IT HAD BEEN TWO DAYS since I’d seen Kye and, to say the least, I wasn’t happy. Not by her avoiding me, but by my own actions. Surely, she felt what I intended to do to Danel and she disapproved. She knew I would physically hurt him, if I had to. And no one was talking to me, not even Boyd. It was as if I’d already confronted Danel. It was like a private e-mail was sent out to exile me and I just wasn’t informed. Even Aaron was too busy with Jessica to notice I existed.
I found Boyd’s suite and tried to talk to him. I showed up with full humility and confusion, but he wouldn’t let me in. He brushed against me with his emotions, which were almost unbearable and I had to leave quickly. I felt sick with his presence; it was full of pain and love for Ben and Alma. It was like he was trying to warn me of something, but I literally bent over with nausea in front of his door. He seemed sad that I was now sensitive like the others.
I thought if I gave Kye some space that she would come to me, talk to me. Or that maybe I would discover something in Ben’s memories that I hadn’t seen before. But I didn’t and everything was still scrambled. I decided I would do what I wanted. I would search everywhere for Kye, even where they said was off-limits and if I couldn’t find her, I would threaten Danel. I would have a nice talk with him… no. There would be nothing nice about it.
I didn’t care if he was the oldest male now that Ben was gone. He wasn’t my boss and never would be. After one hundred and thirteen corridors and thirty labs, I headed straight for Danel’s suite. I paused for a long moment outside of his door, blocking everything I was feeling and thinking. I was getting better at this. I tried to access the panel to open the doors, but it was locked, so I pushed my entire weight against them and tore them from the walls themselves. I was shocked to see I was successful and I’d become conscious that I hadn’t tried to use all of my strength before.
I took two steps inside and he was standing in his living area with his shirt off. What I saw, I could’ve never imagined. He was quickly pulling his shirt on over one arm and my eyes were fixed on hers. Her gold eyes.
“Stop!” I yelled at him.
He stopped putting his shirt on and he sat back in the chair as if he was exhausted. And I saw her glowing, gold eyes. And I felt her sadness as she looked back at me. She was inside of him. The acid rose into my throat and my head was swimming. I closed my eyes for a second as fear welled up inside of me.
Her body was curled into his abdomen, making his chest and stomach swell. I kept staring at her, looking into her eyes and she turned her head away from me. I stood there horrified as her body shifted within his. Her legs were curled up under his skin and her head was embedded into his shoulder. I could see through his skin as she shifted around.
It fell out of my mouth before I could stop it, “you’re a monster.”
He stood up quickly.
“Am I?” he said with disgust, “I have watched your species kill each other for centuries. Over religion, over race, over technology. I have witnessed genocide. So who’s the monster?”
“Release her,” I said. I wouldn’t be blamed for my ancestors. I wouldn’t be blamed for things I hadn’t done. I knew he was right, but it was not my doing. I spent my life protecting others, even those that didn’t deserve it. And yes, this was an enigma of proportions that I never could’ve imagined but she was still my Kye.
“I can’t. How do I put this? She can’t leave until she’s charged.”
Charged.
I felt a weakness in my knees as I stared at them. My stomach turned inside of me. Was this their bond? This wasn’t emotional; this was physical. Without knowing, I took a step back and my mouth was agape. It was dreadful how she was stuck inside of him. Despair ran over me and I knew she could’ve never told me about this, never. In order for Kye to live, her core had to be charged within him physically. Her maker; Danel. This was her shame. This was the secret. She would be bound to him forever. This is why they stopped making hybrids. Ben’s memories swam over me, confirming all of my fears.
I tried to calm myself as I stared into his body. She wouldn’t look at me, so I reached out emotionally to touch her in the softest way possible. I was blocked. By her or him, I couldn’t tell. My heart sank as I watched her inside of him. I wanted to rip her out of him. I wanted to stop this, but I didn’t know how. I just stood there. I tried to push out again, but this time with just love. Danel seemed to not notice and she turned towards me from within him and looked at me. I tried to push forward a thought that said, “I love you. We can deal with this.”
But how would we deal with this? I was helpless and tormented by the acute reality that she was truly trapped. I sank into a chair across from Danel and looked into his eyes. They had become foreign and distant, as if to say, you are not one of us.
“You hate us, don’t you?” I said.
“You sure you want to use the word ‘us’ still?” he said, smiling at my mutation, my unwanted change. I grew bitter at his statement.
“I’m still half-human and so is she.”
I watched as her eyes closed inside of him. I could feel her anguish; her heart was breaking, breaking for me.
“Actually, she’s more human than you, now.”
CHAPTER 47
COLLIN HAD COME RUNNING up to the broken door, panicked. I could feel him before he paused and looked in at the bent metal. Danel already had his shirt on. It was oversized and, although Kye was small compared to him, he still looked swollen in the chest.
Collin looked in on us as we both stood up.
&
nbsp; “A misunderstanding,” Danel said, waving his hand at Collin to not ask about the door.
“It’s Alma,” Collin said. There was urgency in his voice. Danel moved towards the door and I followed.
“We’ll deal with this later,” he said, turning back to look at me for a second.
All of a sudden, I felt the others. There was concern; there was pain. Because we were arguing, we hadn’t felt what was going on at the end of the corridor. Alma was sick; she was dying. Ben’s memories pushed up from inside of me and I could feel my eyes starting to line with tears. I tried to push the feelings aside. What was happening with Kye was bad enough. I didn’t think I could handle anything else.
All three of us headed down the long hallway to a medical lab. All the way in back was a private room and two others were already there: Boyd and Aric. They didn’t acknowledge my presence.
Her breathing was shallow and labored. I immediately recognized her from Ben’s memories and my own. Ben’s thoughts recalled long conversations holding her in his arms, bonding with her emotionally. I tried again to push the feelings down, but the pain was fierce; my heart was breaking. Ben’s essence swam over me in full force and I felt like I would be knocked over. I couldn’t hold him back. I moved into the room silently and grabbed her hand into both of mine. Collin grabbed her other hand and caressed it. I was almost bent over in pain and the tears came and I didn’t care who saw. Boyd reached across and put a hand on my shoulder and I could feel his pain also. I could feel Danel thinking of his wife, who had passed many years ago.
Without realizing it, I found myself kissing the top of Alma’s hand softly. I quickly stopped myself and tried to shove Ben’s feelings away. I was only partly successful. Everyone seemed to let their guard down. Until now, I was completely unaware of everyone else crowded behind me. Alma was special, different. She and Ben had seven children. It was unheard of. She was the last mother on this ship and we were losing her.
Her breaths grew heavier and there was no glow from her at all. Her iridescent veins faded and her skin became grey as she released her last breath. A low hum sounded in the room from a machine in the corner and Collin walked over to shut it off. She was gone.
Danel moved quickly towards me and I didn’t care. I just wanted to hold Alma, but then his arms were on my shoulders pulling me away from her.
“Collin was chosen. You can’t touch her.” Danel was now angered again. I don’t know how I’d forgotten, but I had. Her essence would be stored in Collin until her new clone was ready. I moved away from the table and everyone was silent. Boyd and Aric were behind Collin, waiting. Would he be immobile like I was? Would he be in pain?
It had begun. Her essence began to rise out of her body. A luminous gas was slowly released from her and Collin held tightly onto her hand as it crept towards him. It was many colors, but mainly blues and reds, swimming in and out of each other, reaching toward his hand. He closed his eyes the minute it touched him. The gas moved faster now as it spread over his body and penetrated his skin. He didn’t act as if he was in any pain. I wanted to emotionally brush up against him, but it would’ve been inappropriate.
After all the gases had merged with him, he let go of her hand and started to drop to the floor. Boyd and Aric caught him and lifted him up onto the gurney next to their mother’s body. He was out, unconscious. Danel pulled at my shirt to suggest we should leave the room to let the children have some privacy. We walked out into the hall and I tried to compose myself. Danel seemed greatly affected and wanted to distance himself from the others, like he was disturbing them. Plus, he still had Kye inside of him. I didn’t know if the others knew, but with how swollen he looked, I didn’t think it was possible to hide.
Everything started to become clear. This was what Kye was doing with Collin, trying to merge with him, so she would no longer be tied to Danel. Kye was trying to charge her core with Collin. But it didn’t work. Collin had been in extreme pain because of it.
Alma’s lifeless grey skin lingered in my mind as I followed Danel back to his quarters. He seemed annoyed by my presence, but I wasn’t leaving until Kye withdrew herself from his body.
When he sat back down in his oversized chair, he looked exhausted. I said nothing. He actually looked physically ill and I saw the grey in his skin also. There were several places that I noticed had no glowing veins. There were dark grey patches in his neck, on his face and both hands, just like Alma. I saw what I’d never noticed before. Danel was dying. Why hadn’t I noticed this? How could I be so blind?
The circular glowing veins in his arms and neck appeared to be gone. Even his eyes were dimmed significantly. Ben’s memories told me Alma was over ten thousand years old, so why was Danel sick? He was half her age, half Ben’s age. I searched Ben’s memories and finally unlocked that part that I couldn’t see. It was the hybrids. That’s why Ben made it illegal to make them anymore. Even Alma had one that had died many years back. The hybrids literally sucked the life out of them. They would charge and it would drain their maker.
“She’s killing you,” I said.
He looked at me without shock. His expression merely said, now, you get it?
“But you knew this would happen and you made her anyway.”
“I see you are accessing all of Ben’s memories now.” He let out a deep breath and his eyes glazed over. I waited for him to speak; the seconds crawled by, but eventually he did.
“We didn’t know it would deplete us so fast and at first they just kept dying on us. It was devastating.”
There was sincerity in his voice that I’d never heard before. He was resigned to the fact that all was known to me.
“It’s a long story, Lewis, but in short, my wife wanted a daughter and she never got one. She was sick and passed many years ago. I found it unbearable without her, so I made Kye. And I still have no regrets, regardless of the outcome.”
His love for her radiated from him and his feelings slid over me like he wasn’t blocking me anymore. I searched Ben’s memories and found memories of Annalise, Danel’s wife. I found images of her and Danel, many of them, over and over. They were always together. I could hear her soft voice. I could see her gold eyes, the same color as Kye’s. When Annalise died, it was chaos; Ben was tormented by Danel’s pain. It affected everyone and Danel wouldn’t let her go, almost insane with remorse. I didn’t need to know anything else. I closed my eyes and tried to focus.
“So what happens when you die?” I said.
“The rest of the elders on this station are dead now. So when I go, there is no one for her to merge with. She will be unable to charge her core. Her core will be depleted within three days.”
“What about the clones?”
“Lewis, we are only able to clone elders and we have never actually restored an essence to a cloned elder. It has never been done and we don’t know how it will turn out. These are just theories. It’s just hope right now. Collin will be the first to try, with Alma and her clone won’t be ready for a century.”
“But it’s possible?”
“Anything is possible, if you ask Collin.”
All kinds of possibilities ran through my head. And a part of me was relieved to have the secrets out, no matter how sad they were.
“Why can’t the children merge with her?”
“We don’t know. Something about them being born here. We think the atmosphere of Earth genetically altered them.”
I felt panicked. There had to be options.
“What about the other ships? Surely they are more elders that would help.”
“None of them would even tolerate such a thought. Too many have died because of the hybrids. They are despised and it’s against our laws.”
“How much longer do you have?”
He shook his head a little and closed his eyes.
“I’m guessing but a hundred years, maybe.”
His physical appearance led me to believe otherwise, but it was a relief that we had some time. We had time t
o research, to plan some way to charge Kye. And we wouldn’t have to be secretive about it, not any more. I didn’t care if all the children knew. I would do whatever I could to save Kye.
“If we could find a way for her to charge with someone else, would your body heal?”
“Yes, but we exhausted all ideas hundreds of years ago.”
“How long will Collin be unconscious?”
“A few days, but he’ll be an emotional wreck when he comes to. I don’t think he knows what happened on our home planet at all. He will have many questions, just like you.”
“So you lied to all the children?”
I remembered Collin studying the black alien carcass like he had never seen such a thing. I remember Danel knowing that they could drown, as if he’d seen it happen.
“There was no reason to tell them we were enslaved by those things for thousands of years, that we were food to them. They herded us like cattle. We thought we’d killed them all when we blew up the suns; we just thought that more of us would escape. We thought we had more time than we really did. Let me rest now. Leave me.”
I didn’t want to leave Kye, so I didn’t move. He seemed irritated again.
“I will send her to you when she’s done. You must leave. I need to rest.”
Reluctantly, I left. I wanted to find Aaron and discuss everything. I wanted to find Jessica and see what could be done for Kye, but I was exhausted. I was emotionally wrung out from Danel, Alma and Ben’s feelings. I headed back to my room. I probed Ben’s memories again and Zero jumped into the bed like he was waiting for me. Zero was the only thing completely unaffected by my change, my mutation. I searched Ben’s memories again. I could see the women dying off one by one because they loved their hybrids, their children. I shook the thoughts quickly out of my head.
And somewhere in between a conscious and semiconscious state, things became clear. An epiphany struck me in the deepest parts of my mind, wrenching forward a truth that completely escaped me. I brought myself to full consciousness and opened my eyes to engross myself in the ideas that had become so concrete. My role was changing and my purpose was blurred, until now.