by Rayne, Piper
My stomach clenches. What has he heard? “Oh. Who?” I try to keep my voice casual.
“Gerald McCoy? We started around the same time. We were working on putting a deal together on one of his listings last week.”
I grab a tea bag and put it into my mug to distract myself, my hands shaking. “I know who he is, but other than some morning meetings we sat in together, I didn’t really know him.”
He bites the banana and leans back on his stool. “He said you were at the top of your game. That you’d just beat your previous year’s earnings when you quit.”
I glance up, and what a big mistake that is. His eyes pierce into mine, and those question-filled blue hues could almost force me to reveal my secret. Only a few people know the real reason why I left the brokerage for FSBO.
“Money isn’t everything.”
He bites another chunk off the banana and waits for me to fill him in. The kettle whistles and I turn my attention to the stove, feeling his gaze on my back the entire time.
“Do you think it was worth it?”
Please, Annie and Enzo, come home. Now. Someone save me from this line of questioning. The safety that consumes me when Carm is near is way too dangerous, and I almost feel the need to pour out my heart.
“You’re prying.” I pour my cup of tea, steam rising into my face.
“We’re having a conversation. We’re in the same line of work. What do you wanna talk about? The weather? It’s raining and the storm isn’t supposed to let up until tomorrow.”
Just then his phone vibrates in his pocket. Thank god. He stands as if on autopilot, but instead of walking out of the room, he halts at the archway.
“Yeah?” Without the rehearsed spiel of “this is Carmelo Mancini,” I assume it’s personal.
I pick up my cup of tea and head back out to the deck because the gloomy sky and rain match my mood. Especially since Carm’s sold the first unit and is prying into my past, picking at old wounds.
A few minutes later, the sliding door opens again and Carm returns. I inwardly roll my eyes, though I shouldn’t care. I’m not big on being alone anyway.
“Enzo and Annie are heading back to the city.” He slides out the chair and the legs scrape against the concrete again. Once he’s taken a seat, he places his phone on the table next to mine.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, they just got word about a client who might want to jump ship from the firm they used to work at, so…”
I smile. “They work well together.”
He nods. “They do. My brother was always so self-involved. I was surprised how much Annie has changed him.”
“It’s rare that you actually see that happen in real life. It’s what movies and books are made of.”
“What?”
“The whole reformed playboy thing.”
He chuckles. “Scares the crap out of me.”
“Go figure.” I shake my head in disgust.
He takes another drink of his beer. “What does that mean?”
“You’re probably so scared of commitment that you could never imagine being in your brother’s situation.” I sip my tea.
“I’m not scared of commitment. My schedule doesn’t allow for it. I can’t very well give a girlfriend the attention she would deserve. My weekends are treated like workdays for the most part. If a client calls, I’m off on an appointment or on my computer or phone. This job doesn’t make it feasible to have someone as a permanent fixture in my life.”
“You’re here. It’s the weekend.” I raise my eyebrows.
His gaze moves to the pool, where the unicorn raft Evie bought the first day here almost tips over from the wind and rain pelting it. “So I am.”
“Your argument doesn’t stand?”
His head twists in my direction and I should probably look away before our eyes lock, but stupidly, I don’t. “Do you really want to know why I’m here?”
My heart hammers and my stomach feels as if it’s the cage at the zoo’s butterfly exhibit. Is he about to stop with the sexual innuendos and get real? Tell me that I’m his reason for coming up here every weekend? I’m afraid of how I’ll react if he does. I’m pretty sure it would involve nakedness.
Which is stupid, because in my head, he’s wrapped in “Danger” tape. He’s too smooth… too suave… he’ll eat me and spit me out after I’ve fallen for him.
“Sure, tell me why you’re here.” I pretend to be unfazed when my body is poised on the brink of its flight response.
“I’m here for my ma. She thinks I work too hard and that I need to take some time to enjoy life.”
All the excitement that was sparking inside me is doused with a firefighter’s hose. The anticipation of finally crossing the line and hearing him say something more than just that he wants me in bed, that maybe this thing between us could blossom into something more, fizzles. My day’s grown shittier and more depressing than the weather.
My shoulders slump and I slide my chair out from the table. “I’m going to go work.”
“Yeah, I’ll be in right behind you.” He never looks at me, his gaze focusing on the pool as if he’s running something through his head. Deep in thought.
Whatever. He can sit there all day. It’s only further proof that he’s not the man I want in my life because the kind of man I want isn’t afraid to acknowledge his feelings for me. He’d own them without apology. Just another check mark in the column of reasons why Carm Mancini isn’t meant for Bella Scott.
My hand rests on the handle of the sliding door. Anger washes over me like the crashing waves on the beach.
Fuck Carmelo Mancini. If he’s not man enough to lay his feelings on the line and admit that we’re both here in this house because of one another, that we make sure we’re always looking our best in case we run into each other—even when we’re lounging around this place—then fuck him. He might be willing to deny it, but I can’t continue to live this way, ping-ponging back and forth between I want you, no, I hate you.
I’m self-aware enough to know that some of my anger may come from the fact that he sold a unit already, but that was just the match that lit the fire burning inside me.
“You know what?” I turn around, and his head slowly circles toward me. I’m not sure if he sees something in my eyes or not, but his eyes flare. “Never mind.”
I turn back around, but his chair legs scratch on the concrete and before I have time to escape, his chest presses against my back while his arm rests on the side of the house, caging me in. I could leave if I wanted to, but I don’t.
“What is it?” His voice is low but confident, like he wants to push me as much as I want to push him right now.
“You,” I spit out.
His finger runs down the length of my arm, goose bumps marring the smoothness of my skin. “What about me? Are you distressed over the fact that you can’t stop thinking about me?” He steps forward and his hard length presses into my lower back. I release a shaky breath. “That we’re so drawn to one another that pretty soon one of us is going to combust? Is that the reason you’re so hot and bothered right now?”
Shivers run up my spine, and he blows a hot breath against the base of my neck. I yank my hair out its ponytail so it will cover the spot.
“You’re playing games.” The bite in my tone can’t be ignored.
He steps back, seemingly alarmed by it, his hand falling from my arm. “I thought we both were?”
I turn and there he is. So close. So kissable. So desirable. So confused looking. I lightly push him just to get some clearance so I can take a breath, and I walk to the edge of the deck where rain is coming down in sheets.
“Talk to me.” He comes alongside me but not close enough to touch. Thankfully, his hands remain in his pockets.
“You’re a coward,” I say.
His head rears back.
“Or you’re a liar.”
His head tilts.
“Because tell me, this thing between us”—I wave a finger betw
een us—“do you just want to have sex with me once and have that be the end of it?”
He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I’m not sure what you’re so mad at. We mess around, that’s what we do.”
“No! That’s what you do. You constantly toe the line between enemy, friend, and wannabe lover. I have no idea who or what you actually want to be in my life.”
“Yes, you do.” He steps closer. “I haven’t promised you anything.”
“Is that what you think? That it all comes down to a promise? I don’t want a promise but stop the flirting and touching and digging into my personal life if all you really want to do is fuck me and toss me away.”
His eyes widen, then he blinks, appearing shocked by my words. I’m sure girls say filthy shit to him in the bedroom all the time. I don’t know why he’s so surprised.
When he doesn’t say anything, I continue my rant. “Put me in a category and leave me there.”
“Category?”
“Yes.”
We step closer to one another, but I place my hand on his chest to make sure he doesn’t come too close. He clasps his hand over mine. “Truth?”
I sigh, some of the fight leaving me.
“I have no idea where to put you.”
I nod and slide my hand out from under his. “This is stupid.” Circling around him, I step away.
He grabs my hand and pulls me into his chest. “I do want you. So fucking bad it hurts. But I can’t promise you anything.”
“I’m not asking for a relationship. I’m asking for more than a one-night stand.”
“Is there a difference?”
“Yes, Carm, there is.” I give his chest a push and he takes a step back. “Welcome to the adult world where there are shades of grey, not just black and white. It’s called dating. We see if we even like each other. If we slept together, it doesn’t mean I’m looking for a damn ring, but I’m looking for a guy who won’t sneak out at three a.m. and I never hear from him again.”
“That’s not me. I don’t do relationships. I’m sorry.”
“You won’t, you mean.” I step forward and push him back again.
He rolls his eyes and blows out a breath. “Can’t. I’ll hurt you. I’m being a stand-up guy here. Why don’t you see that?”
I push my finger into his chest. “You’re a coward.”
He loses his balance and steps back so he’s out from under the covering of the deck. Rain pelts him, but he doesn’t step back toward me to seek shelter. Instead of retreating, I follow him out into the rain.
“You think you’re being a stand-up guy? Fine. Don’t flirt with me. Don’t make it appear like you can’t get me out of your head.” I poke him again and he says nothing, allowing me to do whatever I want. Which somehow infuriates me more.
Truth is, I want him to fight me back. The real truth is, I want him to fight for me.
All this aggression is coming from the fact that I allowed myself to be put into a position where I’m developing feelings for the exact type of man who has ruined my mother over the years. The type of man who charms his way into a woman’s heart only to brush her aside when he’s taken what he wants from her. I’ve fallen for Carm, and he hasn’t fallen nearly as hard for me. That’s the real reason I want to rip off someone’s head and toss it into the ocean for the sharks to snack on.
“Go to hell, Carm.” I push his chest and his feet teeter on the edge of the pool.
His eyes widen with fear and the certainty that he’s going in. I almost apologize and reach out to save him—until his cocky grin surfaces and he wraps his hand around my wrist, taking me with him right into the deep end of the pool.
Chapter Nineteen
Carm
My body sinks in the water, Bella’s slim body above mine. Her hip bone jabs me in the stomach, but I hold her to me, not wanting to let her go. I know once we rise above the waterline, her armor will be back up. So instead of giving in to my constricting lungs, I turn her around and secure her to me by wrapping my arms around her middle.
Both our eyes open under water. Hers are full of shock over what I’m doing. My hand mindlessly moves up her back until it’s lost in her flowing red hair. Our legs slide along one another’s, my thigh making its way between hers.
For the first time, she doesn’t pull away from me. I wish we were sea creatures who could survive without air.
Sadly, just as I’m enjoying her pressed against me, neither of us has a choice but to kick to the surface. Just as I predicted, once we’ve sucked in the air needed to stay alive, her eyes burn with flames.
She hollows out her palm and slaps water into my face. “You’re an asshole.” Her arms extend as she swims to the side.
I grab her ankle and pull her back. I can’t even explain my actions other than I want her warm body on mine again. It’s a selfish act. There’s no way I can give her what she wants. I’m not ready for a wife and kids and a scheduled dinner-and-movie night.
Her feet flail and she fights me, but I’m stronger, which only pisses her off more.
“Just stop,” I say, wrangling her enough to follow me to the shallow end where my feet can touch.
“Why? Why do you keep doing this?” There’s a desperation in her voice that sends a chill down my spine, and I release her immediately.
She treads water before realizing she can stand too, then she beelines to the steps to climb out.
“Wait.” Rain pings on the surface, creating ripples and indents along the top of the water. My clothes are like a second skin now.
She spins around. “What?”
I slowly walk through the water toward her. “I lied.”
“About what?” Exhaustion takes over her body and her shoulders sag.
“I’m not here because of my ma. I’m here because of you. Because I can’t get you out of my head.”
She fights the smile teasing her lips. “Really?”
“You’re the one thing I’m telling myself I can’t have.”
Her hands slide through the water. “Why? I mean, I get that I’m the unofficial enemy, me being a FSBO brokerage and you being a traditional broker. I know Greg has us working against one another, but what’s the real reason you haven’t taken what you want from me?”
Hearing the word take from her mouth almost makes my dick overrule my brain. I’d take her in every damn room of this house. I’d spend fifteen minutes wrangling her wet clothes off her body right now for a moment of bliss with her warm skin touching mine.
I place my finger over her lips. “It’s not that. You scare me. What happened to Enzo… scares me. Being with you once won’t be enough, because every time you yell at me, I want to shut you up with a kiss. Every time I smell your perfume lingering in the elevator, I want to bust into your office and bend you over your desk. Every time you walk ahead of me and I see your ass, I imagine sliding my hand up your skirt to see how wet you are. That’s why I beat off to images of you every night and sometimes mid-day—because you consume my every thought. And it’s exactly why I shouldn’t have you.”
“Yet you still have self-control around me.” The grin that was starting to appear fades.
I’m not bragging, but I can read women, and Bella’s disappointment that I’m not ripping off her clothes is as clear as the water in this pool.
“It’s hanging on a thread, especially since you’re not wearing a bra and your nipples are poking through your shirt.”
She glances at her chest and crosses her arms over her breasts.
“No sense covering up now. I’ve committed the image to memory and I’m already rock-hard with the thought of licking this water off you. It’s pathetic really.”
Her cheeks flush. “You think it’s pathetic that you’re attracted to me? I’m not sure what game you’re playing, but I’m calling the game over now.”
She tries to stomp out of the pool, but she’s not getting far very fast. She’s dead-set on walking instead of swimming and I watch her straightened back an
d prissy attitude as she thrashes through the water.
“I think the question is, what do you want?”
She stops, her hand on the railing up the stairs to leave the pool. “An adult relationship, but I should’ve known you can’t handle that. Good luck finding what you need, Carm.”
I dive through the water and stop her from leaving.
She whips her arm out of my hold. “Seriously? Just stop.”
“What exactly do you mean, an adult relationship?”
“I guarantee you it’s not what you’re thinking. I was stupid for assuming you were someone different, so let’s just drop this whole thing. We can go out tonight and you can find some girl to bring home and send back to her own bed in the middle of the night, and maybe I’ll score a date with someone who wants a relationship.”
The thought of her with another man is as appealing as jarred spaghetti sauce. Fuck that.
“Do you really think you can just tap those heels together and forget me while you head to bachelorville?” I brave a step closer to her. I’d do just about anything to have her under me right now. All I want is to spend the rest of this gloomy day in bed with her.
“You’re not irreplaceable.” She crosses her arms when she catches my vision straying to her chest again.
“You’re wrong. You might be with another man, but you’ll still be thinking of me.” Another step closer and our chests are almost touching. I pull my wet sweater and T-shirt off my body because when I kiss her and her chest is against mine, I want those hard nipples poking into me. The cool rain pelts my bare chest, but it doesn’t damper the heat simmering under my skin.
Her eyes widen as she takes in my bare chest. “That’s what you think. You’ll only pick up redheads, imagining you’re with me.”
“Damn right.” I lean forward, ready to take what’s mine. Damn the consequences.
“Don’t do this, Carm, unless you’ve thought it through.”
My hands land on her cheeks to keep her in place. “I’m done using my brain for the day and I think you should be too.”