by Sara Rider
“It’s not my favorite position,” she admitted into his warm chest. “I have a hard time concentrating when I’m coming. And I don’t think it will work from behind if I can’t brace myself.” She’d never spoken so frankly about sex before. Especially not while standing naked in her kitchen.
He stroked a hand down her hair. “We can figure something else out.”
There wasn’t a hint of upset or frustration in his voice, just kindness. He was so gentle with her. So caring. Not at all like the man she’d first thought him to be.
There was only one solution she could think of in the short amount of time she had left. Holding onto his wrist for support, she lowered herself to the ground.
“Julia.” He said her name like a warning.
She looked up at him with a grin. “Fair is fair. I don’t want to waste the next ten minutes.”
She placed her hand on his thigh to steady herself. Their height difference might be a cause of frustration in other ways, but for this, they were perfectly matched. The tip of his cock was poised right at her lips. No, it wasn’t the height difference that was the problem right now. It was his size that terrified her—long and so intimidatingly thick. She’d fantasized about taking him this way for so long, but now that it was happening, she felt awkward and unsure of herself.
She gave the tip a soft, tentative lick. The cold tile floor was uncomfortable beneath her knees and she could barely remember the last time she’d done this, but she couldn’t bring herself to care about anything other than the hiss of pleasure coming from his mouth.
“Wait.”
She looked up at him in confusion. “What’s wrong?”
He dashed to her couch for one of the fluffy pink chenille throw pillows. “Here. For your knees.”
She held back a laugh as she tucked the pillow under her. With a sassy grin, she asked, “May I resume my duties now?”
“Be my guest,” he said with more enthusiasm than she thought possible from the man.
She licked him again with more confidence this time, dragging her tongue from the base up to the thick tip. He shuddered before curling his fingers through the strands of her hair. She took him as deep as she could and gagged almost instantly. Her eyes watered and she felt him pull back, but she wasn’t giving up that easy. She was determined to show him the same pleasure he’d done for her. She just needed to get a little creative.
She took his hand away from her hair and guided it to the root of his cock, silently urging him to help her. After the briefest hesitation, he did. His palm slid up and down his shaft while she took the rest of him in her mouth, sucking him until his thighs started to tremble. It was glorious.
“Julia.”
She loved the way he said her name—so intimate and raw, like he was carving out a place in the universe just for the two of them.
“Julia,” he repeated, voice dropping yet another octave.
She knew he was warning her, but she didn’t stop. Not until his entire body stiffened and he shuddered one final time, spilling into her with a deep, ragged groan.
With his help, she rose to her feet. His arms wrapped around her once more.
“Nice work,” he said into her hair. “Two and a half minutes to spare.”
His hand skimmed down her back like he was contemplating how they could fill those one hundred fifty seconds, and god help her, she was, too. But her hair was a mess and she was pretty sure she smelled like him—the deliciously musky scent mixed with a faint hint of pumpkin spice. “I didn’t factor in the time to clean up. It will take me at least that long to fill up the tub.”
“Rookie mistake,” he said with a soft chuckle. “But we can make it work.”
“How?” All the rational thoughts she’d pushed aside the moment she’d seen him standing in the grocery store came rushing back. What was she getting herself into with this man? The first time had been an understandable impulse. But they’d agreed to take some time to think through what happened. She had no excuses for how she ended up naked and pressed against him once again. She’d always known her lust for this man could scramble her better judgment, but the first time she fell in to bed with him should have been enough to turn the rational side of her brain back on.
“I bought you something.” He let her go to walk to the counter where the bags he’d brought in earlier were still sitting. He opened a box and pulled out what looked to be a massive blue condom. “This should help.”
She bit her lip. “Um…I admit you are incredibly well endowed, but that does seem like overkill. Plus, unless you’re one of those aliens from the sci-fi romance books I love, I’m not sure you actually need a space for a barb.”
And there was the familiar bad-tempered expression back. “It’s not for my dick, it’s for your arm. It’s a cast sleeve so you can shower.”
“Oh. I didn’t know such a thing existed!”
He opened the plastic sleeve and held it open for her to put her arm inside. “This is why I was out shopping tonight. I thought you might be able to use this.”
She slid her arm inside. It was a snug fit, but that was exactly what she needed to keep the water out. “This is amazing. Thank you.” She rose up on her toes and kissed him.
“You’re welcome,” he said. “I was just planning to drop this off tonight, but this was much better.”
It was stupid to feel a little pang of hurt that he hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, and yet that’s exactly what she felt. He didn’t want a relationship. He’d been clear about that this morning. But how was she supposed to remember that when he kept being so sweet? How was she supposed to protect her heart? “I should test this out.”
She slipped out of his arms and went to her shower. He followed behind, reaching past her to turn on the tap as though they’d done this a million times before. She swiped a hair elastic from the edge of the sink and handed it to him. Without having to say anything, he took it and swept her hair up into a high, loose bun, then kissed her on the nose.
“Thank you,” she said with a grin pulling at her cheeks.
“My pleasure.”
Why was this kind of thing so easy between them? Why did the rest have to be so hard?
He helped her step inside the tub, then joined her. The water was the perfect temperature, beating down on her shoulders with a soothing heat. She tested out the cast sleeve beneath the spray. “This is the most thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me.”
“I’m glad it works.” Fergus picked up the bar of soap from the ledge. “Gonna let me help you again?”
“We definitely don’t have time for that,” she said, despite the way her body lit up for him.
“I promise to be good.” He lathered the bar and ran it across her chest and shoulders like a perfect gentleman, but she couldn’t help notice the way his cock hardened. He moved to her hips, her thighs, and the space between them. She could have melted for him all over again, but his hands slid down to her calves and feet. “There. All done.”
He angled the showerhead to rinse her off, then got to work cleaning himself. Even though he used the same perfunctory motions, she found it unbearably erotic. For a moment she considered abandoning Eli and Jake to sort out Trivia Night on their own this week so she could revel in his body a little longer.
And then the panic hit her. It wound up her torso like thick twine, pulling tight and clawing at her throat until it was difficult to breathe.
It wasn’t just the thought that Jake and Eli might screw Trivia Night up again that chilled her. It was the thought that they might not screw it up at all.
She closed her eyes and took a calming breath. On some level, she knew it was absurd to feel like this. There was nothing life or death about being late. Nothing earth shattering or irreversible. She pushed the panic out of her mind with her exhalation, feeling the weight on her shoulders lift a little. But it would always be there, lurking in the shadows of her mind, waiting to come out.
“You okay?”
&nbs
p; Julia opened her eyes, forcing a smile to her lips. “Yeah. Couldn’t be better.”
Julia wasn’t sure how to feel walking into the Holy Grale with Fergus. Her skin tingled as though all eyes had turned their way the moment they walked through the door, but she knew that wasn’t actually true. He must have felt it, too, though, because his posture stiffened, like they had just passed through a portal to an alien world.
It had seemed such a natural thing to invite him in for a beer on the house after the last one ended up on his shirt, but she hadn’t really expected him to say yes. She wasn’t sure he’d expected to answer that way either, judging by the surprised look on his face when he said it.
The microphone for Trivia Night was already set up, waiting for her to start the event. There was no time to dwell on her discomfort. She led Fergus to the bar and instructed Logan to give Fergus his drinks on the house.
“You don’t need to do that,” Fergus said.
“Of course I do. Will you be okay here? I need to get the trivia started.”
He gave her a wry look. “I might not be the most social person, but I think I can handle having a pint without going all Hulk Smash. Besides, I like trivia.”
“Good, but be prepared. My questions are tough.”
He stared down at her, holding back a smile. “Challenge accepted.”
Fergus took a seat at the only empty table left in the bar and watched Julia walk onto the makeshift stage with her question cards in hand, rapt by her confidence and charm. She had so many masks hidden in her arsenal, and she could pull them on so quickly, it was hard to keep up sometimes.
“All right, my beer-loving nerds, know-it-alls, and everyone else who was dragged along by their friends. Welcome to trivia night!” She broke into a well-rehearsed spiel about the rules and the prizes for the evening.
His eyes were so fixated on her, he didn’t notice anyone approach his table until Nora and Clem were sitting next to him. “We’re on your team,” Nora said matter-of-factly. She set a black buzzer on the table.
“Isn’t it a conflict of interest for you to be playing?”
“It is,” Clem responded. “But we’re not playing. You are.”
Julia pressed on the little clicker in her hand and a question popped up on the projector screen behind her. “What does the roman numeral C represent?”
Fergus had the answer before Julia even finished reading the question. He hit the buzzer. “One hundred.”
Julia looked his way, arching an eyebrow. “Correct. Next question: What is the only letter to not appear in any US State name?”
Once again, Fergus knew the answer instantly. “Q.”
Julia’s expression was unreadable as she took her time verifying the answer. “Correct. On what continent is the world’s biggest desert?”
Easy. Too easy. But Fergus held back. He didn’t want to ruin the game for everyone else who had yet to get a chance to answer.
The next table over hit their buzzer. “Asia.”
Nora snorted.
“Incorrect,” Julia said. “Anyone else want to try?”
Another buzzer, another painfully wrong answer.
Clem nudged the buzzer in Fergus’s direction. When he didn’t immediately reach for it, she shook her head and slammed her hand down.
Julia set her hands on her hips and looked at him.
“Antarctica,” he answered reluctantly.
Her expression soured. “Correct.”
Nora angled toward him and whispered, “This is the second to last trivia night of the season. It’s supposed to be one of the hardest, but you’re smashing through the questions like bugs under your feet.”
“Is that going to piss her off?”
“Yep,” Clem said.
“Shit.” That was the last thing he wanted to do.
He started to push his chair back, but Nora stopped him with a hand on his arm. “No way. You’re in this now and there’s no backing out.”
“But you just said it’s pissing her off.”
“It is,” Clem said. “But if you quit now, she’ll never respect you. She’s one of the most competitive people in the world. You need to see this through.”
He looked at the two women, searching for some hint or clue that would help him understand what they were trying to tell him, because their words sure as hell made no sense.
“Fergus,” Clem said sternly. “Just trust me. There’s only one way out of this, and that’s straight through.”
Fergus frowned, but when Nora slammed on the buzzer, he gave the correct answer anyway.
“Correct,” Julia said through gritted teeth. She abandoned the projector and flipped through her cards, clearly looking for one that would stump him. “All right, in the original 1950 film Sleeping Beauty, what are the names of Aurora’s fairy godmothers?”
It was a valiant attempt to stump him, even he had to admit, but Sleeping Beauty was one of Emily’s favorite movies growing up. He pressed the buzzer, then stroked his chin, like he was pretending to consider it.
“Five seconds,” Julia said, arms crossed. Four. Three. Two.
“Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather.”
Julia growled.
And for the next twenty questions, he tore through the competition, answering every question quicker and quicker, while Julia’s expression grew stonier. There was no contest anymore. No one even attempted to press their buzzers. They were too busy cheering him on. This was a direct competition between him and Julia.
“Last question,” Julia finally said. She didn’t reach for her cue cards, having abandoned them long ago in favor of looking up increasingly esoteric questions on her phone. She didn’t reach for her phone this time, though. With a grace that shouldn’t have been possible for a woman wearing heels that high, she approached the microphone one last time. “In the Victorian language of flowers, what symbolizes desire?”
His pulse sped up. He had no idea what anything about flowers meant. He was going to lose.
Around him, people pulled out their phones to check the answer, but his eyes were fixed on her. The defiant jut of her chin. The curve of her hip. Those red painted lips that had been on his skin only hours before. He racked his mind to remember what she’d mentioned in the store just hours ago. Had she said anything about desire? Carnations were beauty. And freesias represented friendship and thoughtfulness. But he’d given her freesias.
“Give up yet?”
He hesitated for a moment, then hit the buzzer. The room hushed. He looked her right in the eye as he answered. “White freesias.”
Her intake of breath was stark against the amplified echo of the microphone, and he wondered if he’s crossed a line. “That is…incorrect. The correct answer is orange roses.”
The entire bar exploded in disappointment but he didn’t care about anyone’s reaction except Julia’s. Still, it took forever to move through the crowd before he could follow her to the back office.
Jake and Eli were in the hall. “Good luck,” Eli said, sounding like Fergus was about to walk into a dragon’s den with no sacrificial offering. Jake just winced and shook his head.
Fergus knocked on Julia’s office door, but the sound in the bar was too loud for him to hear an answer, so he let himself in. She was at her desk, clipping more weekly special lists onto the larger menus—an action that was rather awkward considering she was doing it with her left hand.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” she said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
“You’re pretty tough on that stage, you know.”
Her eyes crinkled just a little. “If you think that was tough, you should come to my annual Red Zephyr themed trivia night next Saturday.”
Next Saturday. Emily was coming to stay with him Saturday. “I’m busy, sorry.”
“Well, there’s always the Red Zephyr viewing on Sunday.”
He frowned. “I can’t.”
The crinkle disappeared again. “No problem.” She grabbed another
menu and resumed her task.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said quickly. “It’s just…”
She raised an eyebrow.
“I’m busy.” Shit. That didn’t come out right. “What about dinner this Wednesday?”
She offered a tight smile. “I have to work that night.”
“Okay.” He wasn’t sure if that was a polite rejection or not. He mentally ran through the list of days he was free, hoping to suggest another option.
A quick knock came at her door, followed by, “Hey, Julia?” It was Jake.
“Yeah?”
“I hate to interrupt, but I really need you for a second.”
She looked at Fergus like she was going to say something, but he shook his head. “It’s okay. I should get going. I’ll talk to you soon.”
He left her office and drove home, feeling more confused about everything than he had in a long time.
12
Julia rarely had time to read all the books she wanted to. Her to-be-read books had flowed right off her shelf and onto a pile on her floor. Her e-book collection was even more shamefully large, though at least she could keep that hidden from anyone who stumbled into her apartment. But despite the hundreds, if not thousands, of books begging to be read, she pulled out the copy of Torrents of the Heart Fergus had brought her. She poured herself a mug of steaming hot coffee and settled on her couch, determined to use the next few hours for a little self-care before she needed to be back at the Holy Grale.
More than self-care, she needed a distraction. Her mind hummed with thoughts of Fergus. He’d left so abruptly last night, her head still spun. Maybe it was for the best, though. She’d jumped in too fast with Fergus when she’d meant to go slow. She needed time to process it all. Time to think.
Time to protect her heart.
It was hard to find a comfortable position to read in with the ache still pulsing between her thighs and the feel of Fergus’s fingers on her skin like a ghostly echo. She finally settled on lying on the couch with her knees up to rest the thin, tattered paperback against her thighs. She knew nothing about Torrents of the Heart other than the fact this was a book her mom had read not long before she passed away in a car crash. Julia had been nineteen at the time, still living with her mom in their tiny L.A. home and trying to figure out her life when it happened. Eli was away at college at the time and had taken it hard. Too hard. He’d been a wreck for years afterward. With no other family, she’d had no choice but to be the one to manage everything. The funeral. Paying off debts. Selling the house.