But you have.
With the whispers of the breeze, gusts of the wind, flying through the air.
Dad smiled encouragingly. “His name is Cian. The elemental of wind. He’s hidden himself from this realm for many years, but I’m almost certain it’s him. We’ll have to keep watch—see if he’s returned—or just feeling things out. He’s a fickle one, much like the wind.”
It was almost too much. A tie to this world from my mom, a bond to an element from my dad. I wasn’t sure what it all meant, but it was certainly a lot to think about. “So you think I am the one the prophecy talks about? A merging of two bloodlines?”
“I’m not sure, but I won’t risk your life for something that seems more than coincidental. When your mother and I found out she was pregnant with you, we were afraid. We told no one except the Del Contes and…your grandfather.”
“The king?” I asked.
I felt the surprise of the Del Contes and my dad, his brow furrowed. “You know?”
“Tiernan told me,” I whispered.
He shut his eyes, his grief strong. “I’m sorry you’ve found out this way. I thought I was protecting you, that knowing certain things would put you in greater danger. I didn’t expect Tiernan to simply try and take your power.”
He sighed. “Serves me right, I suppose. When your mother was—“ he shut his eyes briefly “—dying, she made me swear I’d keep you hidden until I found the evil behind Lord Tiernan. She’d never trusted him, even back then, and vowed Gaia wouldn’t be safe for you until he was gone. We knew that they’d come for you if they knew she was pregnant with a girl—they all kept watchful eyes on her the moment we married. People can be vicious in their devotion to their beliefs.
“After your mother passed, I tried relentlessly to find out what’d happened to Lord Tiernan so I could bring you here, but failed. The Del Contes were nice enough to come with me to protect you, under an oath of secrecy—even from telling you. I hated doing that to you.” Here he paused.
I believed him. I felt his regret and remorse.
“But even when you were little you were too inquisitive for your own good. I knew if I, or the Del Contes, told you anything about this world—even if I told you why you weren’t allowed to go to it and of the dangers waiting for you here—you would try to find it, and nothing would be able to stop you.”
He was right about that. That’s just what I would have done. And it wasn’t helping my guilt.
“All these years the Del Contes have monitored the entrance, until recently when those Pykans made it through. I couldn’t have you marching back into the castle—not only because most of Gaia doesn’t know you exist but also because I wasn’t sure it was safe. Before I could take you there, I needed to figure out what was going on. This place—” he waved his hand at our surroundings “—was the safest, most concealed location I could think of, a place where I could meet up with you and tell you everything myself. Try and salvage what little respect you may still have.”
“Dad.” I knelt at his side. “I was angry that you didn’t tell me…angry at the Del Contes.”
“I know how you feel about lies.” His grin was weak.
I caught Tran’s gaze then, his face tender and loving. “You should not cast judgments on what you don’t understand,” he had said. Tran grinned then, as if he heard the thought himself.
“But—” I turned back to my dad “—I understand why you did it now. Knowing such a powerful evil exists, and if I knew they were after someone I cared about, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same.”
I caught Alex’s gaze then and looked away. I was so ashamed of how I’d treated him.
“How did you figure out how to use that amulet though?” Dad studied my eyes.
“Oh, that.” I felt embarrassed remembering what I’d done and how I’d spoken to the Del Contes. How I’d tricked Alex. How I’d stolen the amulet from Cicero’s pack. The list of things I’d screwed up was almost as long as the list of things that wanted me dead. Probably longer.
“I’m not sure, really. I was so desperate to find you. I knew they were talking to someone named Stefan and he hadn’t mentioned you in a while, and they wouldn’t let me read the bindingbook. I told myself I’d follow the Del Contes here, and if you didn’t show, I’d try to find you myself. And then I had a dream about you…it was so real. I had to see you…find you and make sure you were all right. I wasn’t sure what I was doing when I put it around my neck, but it worked.”
“I should’ve known better.” He shook his head. “Stefan hadn’t heard from me because I was riding hard to meet up with you. He was worried someone knew we were communicating and didn’t want to give away my location. And,” he paused, his eyes strained. “Sonya didn’t let you read the bindingbook any more because Stefan forgot himself and…asked how his sister Daria was doing.”
At first I hadn’t heard the words. I was still sorting through the stupid conclusions I’d drawn. My judgments were formed with such haste it was mortifying. And then the rest of his words reached my ears. “Sister?”
“Stefan is your brother.”
I looked at him with a blank stare, unable to move, my breath lodged somewhere inside of me.
“I didn’t want you to know.” He searched my face. “Not until I told you. It was wrong of me, I know, and completely selfish, and I am so sorry for keeping him from you all this time. The longer I kept his existence from you, the harder it was to tell you about him. I told myself I would tell you when you learned about this world, but I never wanted you to find out like this. The Del Contes were only upholding their oath to me by not letting you know your connection to him.”
Time passed in silence as his words echoed through my head. I wanted to argue, but by his expression I knew he was completely and wholeheartedly serious.
I had a brother. Another living creature existed in this world that shared my own flesh and blood. For eighteen years I had been an only child, but there had been another that called my dad “dad.” There was another that called my mom “mom.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but only air escaped. My heart beat a little faster and my breathing became shallow. I could feel the truth in his words, but they would not sink in.
A brother.
I had a brother. That meant I was the sister to someone.
Dad sat silently, his pale face never turning from mine. I could feel his anxiety and pain, but what I felt more than anything was his regret. Of all the untold secrets, this was the hardest to hear.
“So he lives here?” My voice was fragile. “In this world?”
He nodded.
The ground began rising, swallowing me within it. I closed my eyes, struggling against the sabotage of my calm. With each slow breath I fought to hold onto a thread of stability. My emotions were running rampant with so many conflicting feelings. Pain, fear, joy, and bitterness. It was difficult to hold myself together without having anywhere to hide and sort everything out. In fact, that was how it had been ever since I had left home, an onslaught of life changing information with no private sanctuary for my thoughts. Was it possible for a human being to hear so many things about their life and stay sane?
I stared at the ground, trying to find solace in its emptiness, but I kept feeling the concern of my dad and Alex.
Minutes passed in thick silence before it hit me. I had a brother. A sibling. No matter how upset I might be that I’d never known, I had finally been told. There were no longer just two in our small family; there were three. Curiosity began to prick at my mind. “What’s…he like?”
Dad’s relief was immediate. “Well, since you asked, he’s the one that inherited all of my qualities, so you should be thankful for him, really.” He grinned. “By the time you were born, there was nothing left of me to give you.”
I smiled back. “No, really. I want to know.”
“I’m being perfectly serious. So, as long as you don’t constantly prove how much smarter you are, you two will get along j
ust fine. You see, I’ve had a lifetime of learning how to handle being humbled by a woman. He’s only had twenty years and been around women a fraction of those. It takes a man a good deal longer than that.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Does Stefan…know about me?”
“Yes, very well. You might not have anything new to tell him.” He was grinning. “Stefan has quite the spy. Alex?”
I followed Dad’s gaze to Alex, whose eyes dropped.
Alex’s voice sounded a pitch lower—if it was possible. “Stefan—your brother—has been my closest friend since I can remember. He’s highly inquisitive, especially when it comes to you. Everything I know, he knows—mostly because he wouldn’t leave me alone until I told him.” He paused, looking back into my eyes. “He’ll love you.”
Chapter 26
Clarity
Our dinner that evening was probably the most cheerful in all my life. Dad laughed with Cicero and Sonya about memories that were finally safe to discuss in front of me. It was strange, listening to him talk about this world and all its magic. But it also felt right, somehow.
My mind had been prepared for all of this. If I looked back at the events of my life, there were little pieces along the way—fragments—that struck me as peculiar at the time. Now, they all found their way back to my mind, completing the full picture and identity of the man that was my loving father. He was still exhausted, but his spirit was light and happy, more so than I’d seen it in years.
Cicero and Sonya, with some interjections by Tran, described our very eventful journey to Amadis. News of the barghest attack disturbed my dad. He told us that Lord Commodus hadn’t heard anything of the Pykans but would alert his territory. Dad had raced to meet us at Amadis and arrived right after my abrupt departure. From there, an omniscient Tran had suspected my actions, bringing the Vox to the rescue, and somehow, with his infinite wisdom and Cicero’s magical compass, they had traced the movement of the amulet until they found me. The rest, well, I was present for and humiliated by, so I was just fine moving past it.
Even though I’d made a terrible mistake in leaving, something good had come out of it all. We had defeated the threat to the outlying villages, at least for now.
Fleck seemed to warm up some, sitting at the fire next to Alex. Alex had taken complete responsibility for Fleck’s comfort, showing him his knives and teaching him how to whittle sticks. Fleck was fascinated—as every young boy would be—and his worries disappeared. Grool even joined them, glaring at the pair perfecting their craft. To him, the battle wasn’t over. He sat sharpening his twisted piece of metal, scowling every so often over his shoulder and stabbing at the night.
A few times I met Alex’s gaze, and when I did, I was humbled by the depth and warmth in them. My friend. I may not have been fair to Cicero and Sonya, but I’d treated him the worst. There was still one thing I needed to make right—if he would let me. Later, when everyone went to sleep, I would talk to him…alone.
“Hey, lady!” Fleck jumped to his feet and ran over to me. “Look what I made!” He held out a stick that had the bark chipped off in a spiral.
“It’s great, Fleck. What are you going to use it for?”
Fleck plopped down beside me. “I was thinking you could have it.”
Looks like I’d be answering that question. “Thank you.”
Fleck sat beside me, calm as could be. “Told you that you were a Lady.” He grinned.
I smiled back. “And I will keep my promise. We will find out your real name. ‘Fleck’ will never do for someone as brave as you.”
He liked that. His grin widened, showing all of his tiny spaced teeth. His face turned thoughtful then as he glanced past me.
“You love him, lady?”
Startled, I followed Fleck’s gaze to Alex, who sat intent on another project in his hands. “Well, he’s my friend…”
Fleck looked doubtful. “The way you look at him is different.”
“We’re really good friends. We’ve known each other since we were little—younger than you even.”
“You love him,” he said with finality.
“No, it’s not like that...”
“Lady.” Fleck sighed with that same seriousness of an adult that made me want to laugh. “For being so smart you really are thick sometimes.”
My lips parted as he laughed and bounded from my side, back to his new favorite—Alex. He leaned close to Alex’s ear and whispered something. Alex’s eyes found mine and there was a smile in them. My cheeks burned as I turned away from the pair of conspirators.
This wasn’t good. If how I felt about Alex was obvious to Fleck after only one day, I was kidding myself if I didn’t think Alex noticed. I had to get better at hiding it. I couldn’t let him see how he made me feel. If he knew, it might ruin everything, and our friendship was unstable enough as it was.
Everyone fell asleep early from the day’s trials. Even Grool was sleeping on the ground snoring, still wearing his enormous helmet. Tran slept sitting upright against a tree, and Fleck had fallen asleep beside Alex with a knife in one hand and a stick in the other.
It is time.
I stood and walked towards Alex. His eyes met mine and my heart sped. I didn’t know if I could do it, especially after what Fleck had said. What if he saw right through me? What if he saw how confused I was about him?
You have to. He deserves your apology more than anyone.
I took a deep breath and sat beside him. “You’re nice to him.” I nodded towards Fleck. “Thanks.”
“Don’t act so surprised.” He smiled as he turned to look at Fleck. “He’s been through a lot.”
“I wonder how long they’ve kept him.”
“Hard to say, but it’s dangerous for him, having powers he doesn’t know how to control. Daria…I know you want him to come with us, but it can’t be for long. He has to get to the Keep.” He grabbed my hand and I struggled not to focus on the feel of his skin. “I promise you he’ll be safe there.”
My heart ached. He always cared about my feelings. He was always a friend I never deserved. “Alex, I…”
The green in his eyes was filled with such tenderness and…love.
He’s just looking at you like that because you’re his friend. You don’t remember because it’s been so long.
Uncomfortable, I glanced down, aware of how close we were. Aware of myself next to him and my hand in his. I liked the feel of his skin on mine.
He squeezed my hand gently and my heart sputtered in my chest. I forced myself to focus on my apology.
“The way I’ve acted to you.” I looked back into his eyes, trying not to be distracted by the warmth in them. “I’m so embarrassed. I was so quick to…to judge you and you…you’ve done nothing but risk your entire life for me.” My throat constricted, choking my words. “You had no choice….all for my protection. You could’ve lived here all along, but because…”
He grabbed my other hand; both now clutched tightly in his as he gazed earnestly into my eyes. “And I would do it all over again.”
He wiped something wet from my cheek. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.
“I am so sorry,” I whispered.
He pulled me close, wrapping his strong arms around me, my face buried in his chest. I could smell the earth on his shirt, mixed with that smell that was just…him. In that moment I felt peace, greater peace than I’d felt in years. Being here with him, with all barriers stripped away. Now we were both vulnerable in our honesty and it felt freeing. My friend had come back to me days ago, but the relationship returned that moment. My stronghold wrapped around me, my anchor fixed to the ground. I’d missed him more than I even realized.
He held me there, letting my emotions dampen his shirt, saying everything he needed to say in loving silence. Which, of course, only made me feel worse. But this time, there was no denying that being in his arms feltdifferent. Different than when we were kids. Different than when he would hug me goodbye or try to comfort me because I had
hurt myself. This time, there was something else—something I knew I wanted to hold on to forever, and it also scared the life out of me.
As if reading my mind, Alex leaned back just enough so that he could look into my eyes. “Walk with me.” He stood to his feet and held out his hand. I slipped mine into his, the warmth of his touch flowing through my arm. Together we walked, hand in hand, through the trees. We didn’t speak as we stepped through the shadows, sounds of the night chirping and singing in the distance. Points of light floated in the air like fireflies, only these were much larger. They twinkled in a cloud, like glitter in the shadows, swaying and drifting with the light breeze.
When we emerged from the tree cover, thousands of bright white stars littered the sky. Their reflection mirrored undisturbed across the lake’s surface. The entire landscape was veiled in an ethereal white glow, the mountains’ rock spires close to puncturing the sky that illuminated them. Trees basked in the starlight and though the flowers were muted, some caught the light, sparkling and glittering white like stars hanging from the trees. The lake was magical at night—more so than during the day. If I’d seen this lake, knowing nothing of magic, I would have known without a doubt that magic existed.
“It’s beautiful.” My words felt cheap as I spoke them.
Alex smiled. My heart sped as he turned and led me along the water, my hand still in his. He paused beside a large boulder, helping me sit beside him. Minutes passed and we sat in silence, our sides pressed together.
Everything had changed. We’d grown up to be adults, or at least he could claim that victory. Mine was to be determined. We had left a child’s playground and entered the world’s arena where we fought for our lives—where peril and trials would prove our characters for what they were. I was afraid to analyze mine. I’d seen Alex kill men. I’d killed men. My stomach turned, remembering. One, two, three, four—the fourth didn’t count. I had left him unconscious. Still, with my hands, I had ended someone’s life. That power seemed too great to be entrusted to a human. Who was I to take the precious gift of life from another?
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