by Frost Kay
Sage knocked over the small table behind her and sprinted through the exit. Hopefully that would slow him down. She burst outside and the dark of night engulfed her. Normally, she welcomed it, but tonight the tendrils of darkness were clawing at her, trying to pull her apart and feed her to the nightmare. Her surroundings blurred as she tried to escape the nightmare behind her.
She registered only snatches of the startled faces she passed as she ran for her life. She slowed ever so slightly when she gained a moment of clarity. Did she even know where she running to? Home? No, she would lead the monster there, and that wasn’t an option. The hair on her arms rose. He was hunting her, she felt it in her bones. Shuddering, she picked up her pace and soon she could see the glimmering waves of the bay.
Lilja’s ship.
Safety. She needed to reach the ship, there she would be safe.
As Sage cut through the fisherman shacks, the sound of her boots on the wooden dock soothed her frantic heart; she would make it. A manic smile had just split her face when an arm caught her waist, jerking her back. Terror filled her once again.
He had found her.
Sage screamed, but a large hand hastily clamped over her mouth, her screams muffled. She flailed and struggled, but it did nothing to loosen his grip. Nor could she hinder his progress as he dragged her away.
She sucked in huge breaths through her nose, tears blurred her vision as panic overwhelmed her. As the world around her began to fade away, Sage absently concluded that perhaps death wouldn’t be so bad. One thing was sure, she was taking her monster down with her. His harsh breaths touched her neck, making her shiver, not in revulsion, but in anticipation of her next move. He would hurt no one ever again.
“Sage! It’s me.”
She frantically searched for the source of that familiar voice. Maybe she would have help after all. Sage increased her struggles.
“Sis, it’s okay. Calm down. I’ve got you. You need to stop screaming.” The hand released her mouth.
Gav? Where was Gav? Who was screaming? A high-pitched ringing filled her ears, along with the wailing of a dying animal.
“Sis, it’s Gavriel. You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you.” The hands holding her, shook her roughly. “Sage! You need to calm down. I will never let anyone touch you.”
Confusion filled her. Was that dying sound coming from her? Sage sucked in a hiccupping breath, her throat burning. Did Gavriel slay her monster?
“Sage, love, there is no monster. Just me.”
Without her permission, her whole body sagged against his. She tried to command her it to move, but it simply wouldn’t cooperate. He shifted her around so she was facing him, her head against his chest. Her eyes latched onto his. He had saved her once again, even after her deception. More tears poured down her face as gut-wrenching sobs tore out of her. Gav crushed her even tighter to his chest, cooing soft words of comfort. In her distress, she barely registered that, at some point, they had returned to the Sirenidae vessel, and she vaguely registered being placed in a soft bed. Desperately, she clung to the man who’d slain her monster and held back the nightmares. “Please,” she begged, “please don’t leave me alone.”
“I won’t. I won’t.” Calloused hands pulled the covers up to her chin and then a heavy weight settled next to her, gathering her into his arms. In the security of his hold, she finally calmed and darkness claimed her.
***
The next day’s weather matched her mood.
She stood, watching, as a storm rolled in from the south. Gray clouds adorned the sky, the water shifting from its usual brilliant turquoise to a murky blue-gray. The ship bobbed with a bit more ferocity as the waves rocked her to and fro. Drifting, just like her. Last night had not gone at all as she’d imagined. She wished she could erase it from her memory.
When Rhys had touched her, it was like he’d stolen her will. She had frozen, as if she was locked in her own body, watching everything play out. No matter how much she railed from the inside, beating against the walls of her mind, she couldn’t break through. She couldn’t even lift her hand to swat away his disgusting fingers as he caressed her cheek. Even when a concerned and familiar gaze met her own, his violet eyes pleading with her to respond, she could not do so. She could see mouths moving, as if speaking, but no sound reached her ears. What were they saying? What did they want? Why weren’t they disposing of that disgusting wretch?
Sage shivered and scrubbed at her cheek with her palms, as if the action could erase the memory of his touch. She tipped her head back, looking from the swirling sea to birds moving about the sky. They seemed playful, dipping and gliding on the wind, utterly free. She wanted that. But it seemed that she would never be free.
The previous day was still a blur, save the memory of intense terror and her own need to flee. How she had arrived at the dock was a mystery to her. By her sore body, she guessed she had sprinted the whole way. When Gavriel had grabbed her she’d been prepared to die. She was so tired of fighting the nightmares, night after night, never getting more than a handful of sleep. Sage was fairly certain Rhys would kill her, and the thought had been strangely relieving. She had been ready for death, to finally be at peace. In the light of day, now that she was capable of rational thought, she couldn’t believe how selfish that thought had been. How could she even think it? It would gut her entire family. They had suffered so much already.
She dropped her elbows to the rail and placed her chin in her hands as she turned her thoughts to Gavriel and the role he’d played in events. She grimaced at her vague recollection of clinging to him as she sobbed her heart out and begged him not to leave her. When she’d woken this morning, her hands had been wound into his shirt, crushing the fabric with her fingers. He had kept his word and stayed. Dark smudges had bruised the area underneath his eyes.
I did that, she’d thought.
She’d released him and crept out, leaving him snoring in her bed, grimacing at what a needy fool she must have seemed to him.
A crash and heavy footsteps made her glance over her shoulder, and a very disheveled Gavriel stumbled out of the hallway and onto the deck. He urgently scanned the area, his eyes panicked, but he calmed as soon as he spotted her. He paused to brush his shirt out and strode to her side, mimicking her pose. Gav didn’t speak; rather, he simply watched the ocean, waiting. She examined him from the corner of her eye. His black, wavy hair, so much like the crown prince’s, stirred in the ocean breeze, slipping around his square jaw. She had left him without even a goodbye. He must be so angry with her, but even so, he’d protected her. She owed him an apology.
Sage traced the grain of the wood beneath her arms for a moment, preparing herself for the biggest apology of her life. “I’m sorry,” was all she got out. She wanted to bang her head on the rail. He deserved better, but she could find no words to make what she’d done okay. Her mouth parted, ready to grovel, when he spoke.
“What are you sorry for, Sage?” He turned to the side, propping a hip against the rail, and stared down at her.
She didn’t feel ready to handle the disappointment and accusation no doubt written on his face, but she steeled herself; she was no coward. She slowly turned and, with great difficulty, raised her eyes from his bare feet to the open collar of his shirt, pausing there, still struggling to meet his eyes.
His hand cupped her chin. “Sis? You need to look at me.”
Tears pricked her eyes as she met his warm gaze. He had called her ‘sis’—he still used the endearment. When she had called him her brother, she had not been acting. She had meant it, and she knew he had too. She bit her quivering bottom lip. Sage had never felt like she was much of a crier, but in the last two months she had cried more than she ever had in her entire life.
“Gavriel, I am so sorry I didn’t say goodbye. I needed to go. I couldn’t stay locked up like that indefinitely…and I didn’t want to be used.”
His face pinched. “You thought I was using you?”
She blanc
hed. “No. I just meant that I understood why you were saying certain things. You wanted to turn me into a Crown sympathizer, but I couldn’t give you want you wanted. Our friendship was real, I know that, but in the back of my mind I couldn’t be sure if part of you was still befriending me because you wanted something from me.” She looked away as he dropped her chin. “I was an intelligence officer for the rebellion. In order to get what we need, it sometimes means lying or even becoming someone else. I wasn’t sure if you were doing the same. I hoped not, but…we do things for our family that we might never do for others.”
“It wasn’t fake.”
Sage met his eyes. “I know. It became painfully clear to me when I saw the look of betrayal on your face that night of the Midsummer Festival.” She exhaled a disgusted breath. “That was supposed to be my last night.”
“You helped the Crown.”
She smiled ruefully. “No, I helped Marq. Murder is never the solution. He may be sick, but he’s a wonderful old man with a good heart, he didn’t deserve what they had planned for him. I had no choice but to accept the assignment. It was the only way I could protect him.
“And you did, despite the danger to yourself.”
Sage shrugged. “It was supposed to be my last night with the rebellion anyway. I’d already decided that, although I believed in the cause, I couldn’t work with them if the end was accomplished through such methods.” She snorted. “Not that it mattered. I ended up in the middle of it anyway, despite my best efforts to escape.”
“Why did you agree to be the liaison?”
Sage raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Do you really think I had a choice? I had led the crown prince and his spymaster to the rebellion, even if unintentionally. Many people I knew and had worked with could have died because of my mistake. I did what I had to do to ensure their safety.” She placed a hand over her heart. “I believe in what the rebellion wants for Aermia, I too love her people. I joined for the chance to help restore our lands, to create a better life for so many innocents, and to help protect them. And, now, serving as the liaison, I can continue to do so, only this way we may spare the lives of so many on both sides.”
“And now the rebellion is asking something more from you.” Her eyes widened at the bitterness in his words, and she simply stared while his eyes searched her face. “Do you remember much of last night?”
She looked away, gripping the railing so tightly her fingers ached. “Most, until Rhys touched me.” She forced out between clenched teeth. “I only have pieces of the rest.” A pause. “Thank you for your support and help last night.” She flicked her eyes to the side, smiling at him briefly. “The meeting did not go as I…” She halted when a sudden flash of the previous evening formed in a picture in her mind. The crown prince speaking to Lilja, discussing the need for children.
Their children.
His and hers.
Sage gasped and stumbled back from Gavriel.
Marriage, that was the bargain. The rebellion had sold her to the Crown for power. Rafe had sold her. She was chattel, no better than a whore. A warm womb to grow more princes.
“No.” Her friend’s eyes widened at the vehemence in her voice. “I won’t do it. I don’t care if he’s not the devil I thought he was at first! He still is an arrogant, thoughtless pig. I will never wed him. He will never touch me.”
Gavriel’s face cooled during her tirade. “He is still your crown prince, and, as such, you should accord him with due respect when speaking of him.”
She let loose a harsh laugh. “He will receive my respect when he damn well earns it. From the moment I met him, he has threatened to harm me. In his home, I was starved, left without adequate clothing, drugged twice, tortured, and… ” Her throat clogged, but she pressed on. “…and my innocence was almost stolen. He has bullied and yelled. I was his prisoner for weeks! So excuse me if I’m not singing his praises, my lord.” She spat the words.
“You leave out all the positive things you experienced. Perhaps you should meditate on those as well.” He shook his head, frustrated. After a moment, his face cleared. “Whether you accept it or not, your rebellion used you as a pawn, not us. They were the ones demanding you marry Tehl; it was not our idea. It was our crown prince who made certain to set up stipulations for your benefit, not his, because your people did not seem to see fit to do so. The rebellion promised war if he did not do what they asked, and so he thought, not of himself, but of others. Do you think he wants you for a wife any more than you want him for a husband?”
That pierced her. She was broken, used up. No man would want her.
“Instead of grabbing you and taking you back to the palace where you would have no choice, he gave you three days to decide. It is in your hands, not his. Tehl gave you that. Your crown prince gave you the option of freedom, not Rafe, or the rebellion. Just Tehl.” Gavriel’s chest heaved, and he ruffled his midnight hair in agitation before picking back up. “Those men you call friends sold you while you were defenseless. Tehl stood up for you. If you return to the palace, none of those men will see you again.”
Sage gasped at that. How dare the crown prince dictate whom she saw? “He will never tell me how to run my life.”
Gav’s face reddened. “He wasn’t trying to control you, but protect you from your betrayers,” he hissed.
Sage wanted to scream. She stepped closer to Gav, not quite knowing what she would do, when a musical voice called across the deck to them.
“You have had your say, my lord. Maybe it is time for you to leave her to my care. Your prince left it to me to be certain she was apprised of the previous night’s events.”
Gavriel’s eyes left her to stare at the woman behind her. He sucked in a breath before looking back down at her. “I have been stationed here for your protection for the next three days. If you need me simply call for me.”
He dipped his chin and stalked toward the ramp. Even with all the anger and confusion swirling around her, she didn’t want them to part ways angry at each other. “Gav,” she called. He peered over his shoulder at her. “Thank you for everything. You have gone well beyond what is necessary.”
“I am always here for you,” he said, just before he disappeared.
Lilja sidled over, ogling Gav as he placed himself on a barrel overlooking the sea and the Sirenidae. “Such a handsome man, that one. Such unique eyes.”
“You’re one to talk,” Sage remarked.
The aforementioned magenta eyes turned back to her, somber. “We have serious matters to discuss, ma fleur. Let’s go to the kitchen, and I will make us some tea and biscuits.”
Lilja took Sage’s cold hand and drew her into the warm kitchen, sitting her down on one of many luxurious pillows in the corner. She closed her eyes, listening as her friend bustled around the area. Before she knew it, a cup of something hot that smelled like lavender and chocolate was pressed into her hands. Sage sniffed as something sweet tantalized her nose. She cracked her eyes, squinting suspiciously at Lilja.
“It’s just a little lavender oil, nothing which could affect you adversely.” Lilja tsked. “So untrusting.”
“Well, events these past two months have given me good reason to be,” Sage retorted. She leaned into the pillow and relaxed, listening to Lilja hum and cook. The swish of her skirt alerted her to Captain Femi at her side. Her exotic friend folded herself gracefully onto the pillow across from her, examining her.
“He shouldn’t have touched you.” Lilja’s eyes darkened. “You were fine until that cur dared to touch your cheek. If Gavriel hadn’t pushed him out of the way, I was planning on grabbing one of Rafe’s Griffin blades and stabbing that man.” Her lips pursed. “Yet you froze, gone from the world. What happened?”
Sage looked down into her tea. “Terror. And memories. I was trapped.”
Lilja touched her foot in comfort. “Are you ready to discuss what happened last night?”
Sage’s face hardened. “I don’t think I need to hear anything from you.”
Lilja gave her a stubborn look. “You will listen to what I have to say.” They glared at each other in stony silence before the captain continued. “The treaty was signed by both sides last night, but it hinges on your decision. Hayjen informed me that your marriage to the prince had not been contained in the original list of demands from the rebellion. They believe that the advisors don’t hold real power, and, to an extent, this is true, but I don’t feel a forced marriage is a good solution. Unfortunately, it’s not my decision. It’s important to note that the every representative from their side voted for it, save Rafe and Mason.” Lilja frowned. “Rafe wants you for himself, you know. Hence the little display with the Griffin blades.”
Sage dropped her eyes, glaring at the floor. “I know.”
Lilja’s laugh rippled through the room. “Indeed you do. That was abundantly clear when you plopped his blades onto the bar without a care. It was an excellent move, but I am afraid we’re digressing.” Lilja sighed. “I observed the crown prince wrestle with his decision before he agreed to their demand regarding you. Despite his ire at having been put in the situation, he made efforts to protect you. He required that you might be given time to choose—three days—and if you acquiesce, none of rebellion circle are to have contact with you again. This was not high-handed, you know. It prevents them from using or hurting you again.” Lilja sent her a severe look. “The crown prince also didn’t want you to go into it blind. If you marry him, it will not be an easy life. You will be on display, your life will not be your own.”
A harsh chuckle burst out of Sage. “Has it ever?”
Lilja’s mouth turned down, but she continued. “The kings and queens of the past have always been bound by love which foments mutual respect and loyalty for one another. Your marriage won’t be based on that, you will have to try to succeed without it. For a large part of this, you may need to live a ruse. Any moment you are not alone you will have to play the part, you must pretend to love the crown prince. You know the nation requires heirs as well. It would be your duty to give them to him.”