Her heart is hammering inside her chest as she smiles sheepishly and nods. There’s no way I could resist an invitation like that from her.
I slide into bed next to her and she snuggles against me firmly as I use my arm to pull her closer. Being in bed with a woman is new to me. I have no idea if Avery has ever shared a bed with a man but the thought of her doing so ignites a pang of jealousy. “Have you done this before?” Wow. That sort of sounded like I was climbing into bed with her so we could have sex.
She snuggles closer. “You mean lie in bed with a man?”
“Yeah.” It comes out as a whisper.
She giggles. “No. I realize how unbelievable that sounds in this day and time. I’ve never been in love so I wouldn’t have a reason to be in bed with a man if I didn’t love him.”
Thank the gods. “I wasn’t raised during these times so it isn’t unbelievable to me.”
She lifts her head from my chest. “Have you ever shared a bed with a woman?”
She’s watching my eyes. I think she’s doing it because she wants to make sure I’m being truthful but she’d realize it was unnecessary if she thought about it. I can’t lie to her. She’d feel it through our bond. “When I was human, a man didn’t share a bed with a woman unless she was his wife or a whore–neither of which I’ve ever had.”
My virginal status makes her grin. “I was going to ask if you had ever been married but I guess the virgin thing rules that out.”
“I was betrothed to a woman when I was turned by Thatcher. Her name was Lisette.” I can’t believe I’m going to tell her what happened. I’ve shared the story with so few people but I want to tell her for some reason. “I didn’t understand what was happening to me during the change and I revealed myself as a vampire to her. She begged me to change her after the shock wore off–so I tried– but it didn’t end well for her. I still don’t understand what went wrong. I drained her and she drank my blood. It should have worked but instead of giving her immortality, I killed her.”
“Did you love her?” Her voice is sad.
Here I go. I’m going to tell her how I feel although I suspect she already knows. It could be the best thing I’ve ever done. Or the worst. “I thought I did … until I met you.”
Her expression becomes very serious as her heart speeds. “What does that mean?”
I rise from lying on my back and roll so Avery is pinned beneath me. I prop my elbows on each side of her head and cradle her face in my hands. “Dammit! I know I’m not supposed to but I can’t help myself. I love you, Avery. With all my heart and soul, I love you.”
She isn’t shocked so I was right. She knew all along. “I love you too.” Her hands slide through the back of my hair and she pulls my mouth down to hers so she can plant soft kisses but they quickly become fast and urgent, causing my head to spin.
My mouth leaves hers and I start a path of kisses down her neck. Her hands move from my hair to my shoulders and then down my back. Her breathing turns to panting–much like my own–and I feel her tugging upward on my shirt. I reach over my head with one hand and grab it by the neck. One smooth pull is all it takes to get it off and I toss it out of the way onto the floor.
She places her palms on my bare chest and rubs her thumbs in circular motions over my nipples. Her touch causes them to become hard and I can’t resist the urge to look down at them. Whoa … that’s never happened–at least not while I’ve been a vampire.
I lower myself and return to kissing Avery’s neck when her sweet intoxicating scent floods my senses. “You smell so good.” I move my mouth lower and push the top of her nightgown down so I can kiss her breasts.
I hear Avery moan when she arches her back from the bed and she brings her legs up to wrap around my waist. “Mmm … ohh. Don’t stop.”
Not a chance of that happening.
I migrate further south and this time I push the bottom of her gown above her hips so I can place kisses against her flat stomach. She’s squirming hard beneath me so I grasp her hips and dip my tongue into her bellybutton. “Oh … oh … oh.”
I’m right there hovering above what seems to be the source of her intoxicating scent. I press my nose to the waistband of her panties and draw a deep breath before I lift my face to look at Avery. She knows this is me asking permission without uttering a word so she lifts her bottom from the bed. “Take ‘em off.”
I slide my fingers into the skinny bands on each of her hips and pull the two tiny triangles down her legs so they can be added to my shirt on the floor. She sits up and wiggles until she has her gown up and over her head before she reaches for the tie of my linen sleep pants. Once they’re gone, I lower my naked body against hers and I covet the feel of her warmth against me.
She parts her legs again, this time without a barrier between our bodies. It’s simultaneously the most amazing feeling I’ve ever experienced while being the scariest and most confusing moment of my existence. I remember the mechanics of what happens when a man desires a woman but I’m puzzled by the whys. This hasn’t happened since I was human. And it shouldn’t be happening now.
She wiggles beneath me until my erection is positioned at her entrance. “Do it. I want you to.”
This is something I never thought I’d hear a woman say to me. I feel like I have the physical ability but what if I’m wrong? “I’m not sure I can. Vampires aren’t supposed to be able to do this.”
She rocks her body against mine, testing the water. “I believe you can. Unless you don’t want to.”
How can she think I don’t want this with her? “It’s definitely not that. I want to. Bad. Don’t think for one second I don’t. And I feel like I can but I’m afraid I’m wrong and I don’t want to disappoint you.”
She lifts her hips to coax me. “Don’t be scared. We were made for this. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
There’s no way I’m taking the time to ponder why I suddenly have the ability to do something vampires aren’t supposed to be capable of doing. I’m not ruining this moment with her.
I push against her body and enter slowly. Her eyes are squeezed tightly and her hands are clenched around my biceps as I go deeper. She gasps against my ear and her entire body tenses–a clear indicator of the pain I’m causing–so I become motionless. She kisses the space below my ear before she whispers, “Don’t stop.”
“But I’m hurting you,” I whisper. “I don’t want to do that.”
She brings her legs up around my waist. “You’re not. And you never would.” She tightens the grip of her legs and squeezes until I’m fully inside her. “I want you. And I want this.”
I couldn’t deny her if I tried. I’m powerless to stop what is happening between us. It feels as though something else is in control of my body–and while it’s utterly amazing–what’s happening in my head isn’t any less astonishing. “I love you so much, Avery.”
I’m moving above her and she reaches up to touch my face with her fingertips. “I love you too, Sol.”
I lower myself to kiss this woman but her lips aren’t enough. I want my mouth all over her. I want to taste her skin. And her blood.
Although I’ve drunk from her regularly the past few weeks, I’ve never wanted her blood before this moment. It was the experience that accompanied drinking from her. But the desire building within me is different.
I fight the desire I feel to lower my mouth to the throbbing pulsation in her neck. I don’t want to ruin this beautiful thing happening but the hunger for her blood is overpowering. As hard as I try, I can’t ignore the craving.
I turn and press my face into my inner arm to keep from biting her neck. “Something is happening to me.”
“I know. I feel it too.” She hooks her hands around my neck and pulls me closer. She locks her ankles behind my waist while arching her back from the bed and her neck is completely exposed as she turns her head. “I want to feed both of your hungers.”
Is she telling me to bite her? “What are you say
ing?”
“I want you to drink my blood while you make love to me.”
Another wave of her scent floods me and all self-control is lost as I put my mouth over the pulsation of her jugular. Her lush vein thumps against my lip as my incisors lengthen and then it’s done. I taste her blood in my mouth.
I greedily drink from this woman I adore. Nothing is comparable to this–what I’m sharing with Avery right now. I’ve never experienced anything so intense. Or loving. Ever.
I’m experiencing the best of both worlds. My body is in full-blown ecstasy and it’s far better than anything I experienced as a vampire–even my first taste of blood. I thought nothing could top that. But it has. Making love to Avery tops any and everything.
I have a fast track directly linked to her emotions. I have no doubt about the depth of her feelings for me as we make love. Her affection feels much like a bubble growing until I think it’ll burst. The purity of her love is so unexpected.
I take a part of her body into my own as I drink from her but I give her a part of mine as well when I empty myself inside her for the first time. She relaxes her legs around my waist and I seal the wound on her neck. I’m too stunned to move so I’m still hovering above her but I can see the astonishment in her eyes. “Wowww.”
I gain some composure and roll off of her to my back. “Yeah … wow.”
We’re lying on our backs but looking at one another. “I thought vampires didn’t make love.”
I’m at a loss. “They don’t. Ever. Nor do they have the desire to.”
Her hand finds mine and she squeezes it. “Well we did and it wasn’t just sex. It was something else as well. Did you feel it?”
I’m not experienced in the sex department but even I know that wasn’t a normal act of intimacy. “Yes. There was definitely more to it.”
“I think there’s something I need to tell you.” I hear the worry in her voice but I never want her to be frightened to tell me anything.
“Okay.”
She breathes in deeply and her lips puff out as she exhales. “I sensed your existence long before the night you came to Vincent’s. I’ve felt your presence for as long as I can remember. I’ve always known someone was missing from my life but I didn’t know who until our eyes met through that crowd of vampires at Vincent’s. I knew you were the one I had been waiting for my entire life.”
Am I wrong about why I’m so beguiled by her? It’s not because she’s a blood jewel? “I was drawn to you the second I laid eyes on you. I wanted to rescue and protect you but I had no idea why. It almost killed me to walk out of that house without you in my arms.”
She closes her eyes and smiles. “Do you feel that? What’s happening between us right now?”
I know exactly what she’s talking about. It’s our special connection–the intense one we feel while I’m drinking directly from her. This is the strongest it’s ever been. “Yes. I feel how happy–but confused–you are right now.”
She opens her eyes and her brow wrinkles in confusion. “And I sense the same about you but you don’t seem quite as confused as me. I think you understand what’s happening.”
I’d call it hopeful suspicion. “Do you have a birthmark?”
“Yeah but what does that have to do with anything?”
My hope gains momentum. “I need to see it.”
“Okay.” She rises to a sitting position and rolls her left shoulder forward. Her right arm crosses her chest and she reaches around to point at her upper shoulder blade. “Right here. But I must tell you that it’s the most peculiar looking birthmark you’ll ever see. It looks like an albino butterfly.”
And there it is–a most beloved sight. It’s what I wanted to see more than anything in the world. I think it’s the proof of what I suspect. I can’t stop the happy laughter erupting from my lips as I reach out to touch it. “Oh, Avery.”
“What?”
I playfully push her down onto the bed and climb over her. I grasp her face and kiss her hard before looking into her eyes. “This may sound crazy but I think you’re my agápe.”
Chapter Seven
Curry and Sebastian are looking at me from across my desk as they wait to hear the reason I’ve asked them to join me in my office. How do I do this? I haven’t a clue. How do I dare to explain how I’ve been secretly drinking from Avery for weeks? Or worse–what happened between us in her bedroom this morning?
Worse is the wrong choice of words. If she’s my agápe then what happened was natural. And inevitable. But what if I’m wrong and she’s not what I think she is?
Sitting here in silence is becoming awkward. I don’t know how to start this conversation so I’m glad when Curry finally asks, “Is everything all right with you?”
We’ll see if it is after I get their verdict. “Something has happened. It’s quite serious and it may or may not cause you both to be extremely angry with me.”
They glance at one another and a quick look passes between them before they turn back to me. For a moment I’m afraid they already know everything that’s been happening between me and Avery but I decide it’s my guilty conscience causing me to jump to conclusions.
Curry clears his throat. “You can tell us anything. We won’t judge.”
We’d see about that. “I love Avery. I have from the first moment I saw her but I didn’t realize it was affection that I was feeling. I assumed her blood was siren-like and was calling out to me because I hadn’t drunk it. But then Curry brought her here and I realized he wasn’t being drawn to her the way I was.”
This catches Sebastian’s attention because he sits up and appears very interested. “And you felt this way about her before you drank her blood?”
“Yes. And I discovered something strange while drinking from her that night. Her blood didn’t appeal to me at all but the act of drinking from her was … beautiful. We connected on an entirely different level. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. And afterwards–I could still feel her.” I place my hand over my heart. “There hasn’t been a moment I haven’t felt her right here since that night.”
Sebastian is rubbing his chin, as he tends to do when he’s mulling something over in his mind. “Have you and Avery discussed this?”
And the plot thickens. “Not until a few weeks ago. I’ve spent the last few months believing she was terrified of me. She always seemed so nervous and her heart was always pounding erratically every time we were close. Turns out I was wrong about why. She came to me the night I announced I was leaving and asked me to stay.”
“That was several weeks ago and you haven’t said a word about it,” Curry says.
This was where things could go downhill fast. “We agreed that something special happened between us when I drank from her but neither of us understood what it was. She wanted to explore it more–and so did I–so she asked me to make her my blood doll.”
Curry closes his eyes and rubs his lids with his hand. “Tell me you didn’t.”
It was time to admit what I’d been doing. “I didn’t want to make her my blood whore but it’s what she wanted and I find it impossible to deny her the things she asks of me. I must admit it’s what I wanted too so I started drinking from her.”
Sebastian’s expression is calm and collected as always. “I guess that explains why you stopped taking blood from the swans at dinner.”
“Avery wanted to be the only one.” Wanted isn’t the right word. Insisted would be a much better fit.
“How often do you drink from her?” Sebastian asks.
“It was every three days in the beginning.”
He lifts a brow and I’m guessing it’s because he’s reading into the last part of my admission. “And now?”
“Twice daily.” I feel like I should defend myself. “But I don’t do it for her blood. We do it for the connection we share while I’m drinking. The blood just happens to be part of it.” I hear my words and realize how much I sound like a junkie in denial.
Curry looks
ready to explode. And then he does. “I can’t believe you’ve been doing this for weeks. You’re addicted to her. You knew there was a chance this could happen and you chose to take the risk because you think something special happened. Well something happened all right. You got yourself addicted to a blood jewel and now you’re screwed.”
He doesn’t have a clue about the relationship Avery and I share. “It’s not like that.”
“Yeah, it is exactly like that.” He’s scoffing. And it pisses me off.
“You don’t understand. I went to Avery in her bedroom this morning and something else happened as well.” They’re both looking at me waiting for the rest of the story. “Things became … physical.”
“Physical?” Curry asks. “You mean she tried to fight you off when you were drinking from her?”
“No. It was the kind of physical act involving a man and a woman.” They’re obviously not catching on but I shouldn’t expect them to. There’s no reason they would put the pieces together. “We made love the way a human man and human woman do except I drank from her while it was happening. I don’t know what it is but something even greater transpired. Now we have an even stronger connection. I’m able to feel her emotions almost like I can read her mind.”
Sebastian nods while wearing a solemn expression. “And she can feel your emotions as well?”
“Just as strongly.” I’m about to unveil the final piece of evidence and I pray they will confirm I’m not imagining this. I want Avery as my agápe. I have to have her. There is no alternative. “She bears the mark of Anteros like Chansey but it’s white instead of brown.”
Sebastian looks at Curry and then back to me. “Ella’s was deep red, the color of port-wine.”
“Is Avery my agápe?” I prepare for the worst but will settle for nothing less than an affirmative.
Sebastian looks amused. “Do you really have to ask?”
Blood Doll (The Vampire Agape Series Book #3) (The Vampire Agape Series #3) Page 6