by P. G. Thomas
She hated how her parents recorded all of the insignificant events of their lives, emailing them to family and friends, posting them on the web. Then at holidays, how they would bring them out, showing them to everybody. She would crawl under a blanket when the crowd oohed, curling up between her parents, praying for a power outage. She was never sure why she hated those harmless images, but right now, she would pay any price to feel her father rubbing her shoulder, feeling her mother trying to pull the blanket back. Rolling over, she fought to bring focus to the blurry images of her parents, as she began to cry harder.
*******
The next morning, John was the only one in the front room when he heard a knock at the door. Ramy greeted him with Panry and Ryan, who were both looking at the ground, standing behind him. “I have tried to make it clear to these two. We know Earth Mother is missing. We are searching every wagon, every cart, and every person that exits the town gates. I will personally guarantee, if any try to smuggle her out, we will find her. We have double and triple-checked to make sure there are no new tunnels into the town. The thief guilds are being very cooperative with the search also, but these two are only making matters worse. If they cause any more trouble, I will be forced to arrest them.” As Ryan and Panry shuffled into the house, Ramy headed back to the town watch station.
Following them both into the backyard, he stopped for three large mugs of hot bean juice in the kitchen.
While Panry accepted one, he was unable to meet John’s gaze. “I shall resign this day. Fail Earth Mother I have, shaming all Earth Guards. My father, his before, ten generations I shame. Earth Mother is like smoke. Gone as there is no sign of her.”
John was unsure what to say or do. Knowing that the disappearance was destroying the core fabric of Panry, he was uncertain what Lauren was doing. Even though he knew she was safe, he would not risk mentioning those words to Panry in his fragile state. “Go get some rest. Eric should be back from the south port town today. Maybe he’ll bring the news that we’ve been waiting for.”
Panry, filled with shame, frustration and anger, looked into the large mug. “If he does not, this night I will hand in my sword, uniform, and all other Earth Guard possessions to the Earth Mothers. They can then appoint Erust to be captain, though he is without one to protect. Mayhap his Earth Guard can protect others.”
“What’ll you do then?” asked John.
“Search out the black-clad. With their weapons and mounts, I will search for Earth Mother. I do not know where they hold her, but I will find her. Not as Earth Guard, but as myself. Shame too great I now bare, but it will not follow me to my grave. Tarnish the Moonshadow name I cannot, and redeem it I must.”
“You’re tired, not thinking straight. You haven’t slept in almost a week. Go to bed.”
Panry, beaten and defeated, rose from his chair, his feet shuffled as he headed to the house.
Even though part of John broke on the inside, he held his silence. He turned his gaze to Ryan, “I expect that from Panry but not from you. What were you doing?”
“Somebody in this town has to know something. I need to find Lauren.”
“How did Ramy get you?”
“Tired I guess, not thinking straight. I was with Panry. We were asking the thief’s guild politely if they knew anything.”
“Politely?”
“We hadn’t broken anything or anyone yet, so, yes, politely. They’re the only ones that could’ve broken in here. We figure they’re holding her for ransom, so we offered to pay.”
If Panry and Ryan were getting this worked up, John hated to think what the dwarves were doing, and he had no idea where Logan and Zack were. It was only going to get worse until she was found. “Go upstairs and get some sleep. If you do that for me, we’ll talk this over later, figuring out what we should do next. You can’t just go out, ripping the town apart.”
Following him back into the house, John stopped in the kitchen, ordering two fried meat sandwiches and a mug of hot bean juice. As the staff prepared his meal, he wandered through the kitchen, looking for a particular item. He found it behind a door: a three-foot-tall stepladder that Ryan had constructed for Gor so that he could reach the shelves in the high cupboards. Before John left with the requested food, he quickly reached behind the door, grabbing the ladder. Arriving at his destination, Lauren’s room, he briefly listened to make sure nobody was around and then entered.
*******
Looking at the vent, Lauren saw the morning light streaming in. So many days ago, her plan seemed logical. However, it was now clear, in her confused state, her thoughts that day had been clouded by the death of Gor. Back then, the plan was simple: disappear. Then, after waiting for a few days, when the search expanded beyond Alron, she would escape from her cell, taking to the streets and flee. Either going to the north pass or the south port town, but this morning, she knew fleeing was the wrong option. Her path was to stay, finding a way to save Mother’s children. However, the problem was different now. Wanting to leave, she lacked an explanation for her mysterious re-appearance. Then her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a thud in the darkness. Blowing out her candle, she saw light flowing into her cell from the far end, and crawling backwards, she pushed herself into the darkest corner.
John stuck his head through the attic access, “Want to talk?” He then placed the wrapped sandwiches and mug of hot bean juice on the attic floor.
A sense of relief flooded over her, “John, it figures it would be you.”
“So how are you doing?”
“Confused and not.”
Crawling into the attic, he brought Lauren the food. Wolfing down the sandwiches, she then embraced the mug, like if it was a long lost friend. John sat in silence, waiting for her to talk, helping to restore her sense of power and control.
“John, I really screwed up. What do I do now?”
“I tend to think better where it’s brighter and less stuffy. Why don’t we go down into your room? We can talk there.”
“Sure, it’s been getting crowded up here anyways.”
Looking around the empty attic, he shrugged his shoulders, “I’ll get Ryan, telling him to keep everybody out. Okay?”
After Lauren had nodded, he left the attic, going to Ryan’s door. Knocking, he looked inside, seeing him sitting on the bed, holding his head in his hands. John could hear him pull the tears back, “I need a favor from you. I’m not going to explain it right now, but I found Lauren, and she’s safe.”
Ryan was on his feet, trying to get by John, but he closed the door, and from the other side, continued. “I need some time to talk with her. To find out what happened. I want you to stand guard outside her bedroom door, so everybody will leave her alone a little while longer. You can send the word out that she is back and healthy. Just don’t let anybody into that room. Okay?” John pushed the door open a crack, looking down at Ryan, who had collapsed to his knees, being overcome with relief.
“She’s okay? Did anybody hurt her? What happened?”
“She’s fine, and nobody hurt her. I want to help her figure out what happened. If everybody rushes in, swarming her, it could be too much, so don’t let anybody into her room. However, first, let everybody know she’s fine, especially while Ramy still has a town to watch.”
Returning to Lauren’s room, John called her down from the attic. “So what were you thinking about on your little vacation?”
“Everything, nothing, Gor, Alron, and Mother. I just want it to end. I thought that after a week I could just slip out, letting somebody else shoulder the responsibility. I know it was wrong, but I just needed some time to think.”
“Do you feel better now?”
“Right now I do, but there are going to be so many people mad at me. I don’t know how to apologize to so many for what I’ve done to them. I figured I would just walk away, and years later, when it was all over, we would bump into each other on a street, and everything would be forgiven. I know that isn’t the path, but I now u
nderstand what has to happen. I don’t like it, but I understand it.”
“Understand what?”
“Mother’s children need to learn how to ride a bike and without training wheels. I’ll explain it later because I still need some time to think about it, but I know I can’t run away.”
It looked and sounded like Lauren, but John was having a hard time following her, “Run away from what?”
“War.” Sitting down on her bed, she picked up her staff, “We sail on a poorly designed Titanic, and the black-clad are an iceberg on a white horizon. Our fates are predestined, and ther are just two events left to take place; the battle and the body count.”
“War is scary.”
There was a smoldering resignation in Lauren’s eyes, “Really, John? It gets even scarier when you watch your friends die in front of you. It gets extremely scary when you kill an entire army. I’m not a big fan of death, and I don’t care for it on either side. Yet a parade of gravediggers that I haven’t met, they wait for employment. Their shovels will be nothing but nubs by the time the last is buried.”
“But then there will be peace.”
“Peace through war. That’s a concept I could never get my head wrapped around. War is death that only gives birth to graves. Only those that sleep in the graves will embrace it. Using this logic, the only way to achieve total peace is to have both sides kill each other off completely. Only then will this land be free of violence.”
“Lauren, history is written by the victorious. Yeah, it sucks, but if this struggle doesn’t end in peace for this side, it ends in horror. Which ending do you prefer?”
Her voice seemed to have an equal texture of acceptance and submission. “The horrors of war seek to embrace me. Bloody screams for peace will fill my dreams. Silent winds will caress the freshly dead corpses that scatter the fields. Fields will grow thicker crops, feeding on the bodies of the fallen, but in the end, peace will find the land. It will be bloody and soaked in tears, roamed by lost spirits, but peace will find the land. It’ll most likely vomit at the cost.”
“Peace has its price because the story of where it fails is worse, and you know it.”
“Then, John, we will look to bring peace to this land even if we have to kill everyone that threatens it. Maybe at that point, Mother can start over.”
“Are you all right, Lauren? Your words sound different.”
“It’s not my words that are different. It’s my vision. You see a couple of kids playing in the yard, and it makes you smile. How a simple game of tag can fill them with raptures of joy. Watch people throw themselves from a burning building, and the words change with the vision. One day the children will play again, bringing forth the smiles, and then one will innocently ask about their father. When that story is told, the joy will be lost, as innocent tears will fall onto the blood soaked ground. So many will wash the land, that the soil will taste salty. Great sorrow waits in the wings and her song is hollow, without words. When will she take the stage, I don’t know, but I just hope one day her song ends.” Lauren paused, shook her head, “Could you please have the cook send up some food, and make sure Gor didn’t cook it and a bottle of sweet wine.”
John went to the door, “The hall is going to be filled with everyone that was worried about you. I’m going to hold the door open for a minute, so they can all see there’s nothing to worry about, and you don’t have to look at them. I just want them to see you.”
She nodded.
Opening the door a crack, he whispered, “Tell them to stay quiet.” Waiting for Ryan’s command of silence, he then opened the door. Two dozen strained and stretched around Ryan, seeing Lauren sitting on her bed, looking away from the door. Herding them downstairs to the backyard, John first instructed Ryan to stay at Lauren’s door, ensuring that no one disturbed her, except the cook.
John was the last to enter the backyard. “Lauren’s fine. She is upset, confused, and worried. After crawling into the attic access, she spent a few days thinking. Let’s just leave her alone for a few days. Let the pressure relax. The Earth Mothers can continue talking to the elves, dwarfs, and any others. Let’s just give her a few days.” Everyone began asking questions, “Look, tomorrow Lauren will come downstairs. I don’t want to put words in her mouth, so she’ll answer the questions she wants to answer, but don’t push her. Does everybody understand?”
The large group let out a collective sigh, being uncertain of what had happened or why, but with Lauren safe, their lives began to return to normal. The Ironhouse brothers left to pass the word amongst their clan groups, and Mirtza headed to Gayne’s to let him know also. Zack walked with Nur when the Earth Mothers returned to their house, and Logan went back to his room, wondering if his sister would ever return to her old self, and for that matter, if any of them ever would.
Then there was only John and Panry in the backyard. “Panry, I don’t know what to say. She puts on a brave front, wanting to do the right thing, but inside, there are still traits of a little girl. I would imagine by elf-life standards, she would still be considered a newborn. One day she’s a regular student having a regular day. A week later, she’s proclaimed an Earth Daughter in a strange land. She wasn’t doing too badly until we started bumping into armies. Even then, she managed to keep her head above water in that turbulent river. However, when Gor died, heck, I’m surprised that mountain range still stands. I think she had a nervous breakdown. It’s like somebody trying to pour an entire bottle of wine into a single glass, which is too small. With the vessel no longer able to handle the volume, it turns into a mess. Panry, Lauren is very sorry for what happened, but she’s better now, so just give her a few days to get her feet back on the ground.” Sitting down at the table, John thought of how Lauren had described the price of peace, causing chills to run down his back.
Pulling out his flask, after taking a drink, Panry handed it to John, “I can help her if she will let me.”
“If tomorrow something should happen, and you find yourself in a situation with her where one will die, and she looks at you, saying Careel or Babartin, which Dawnfalcon do we send to their death? How would you answer her?”
“They would both go and return.”
“No, Panry, in this simulation, if they both go, more will die. Only one can go, and the one chosen will never come back. Would you ask them to volunteer, or would you send one? You would know death is certain. How would you answer her?”
Panry grabbed his flask back, “If you want to play riddle games with words, seek out Ryan. He enjoys such better than I.” Leaving, he went looking for somewhere where his screams of frustration would not interrupt the Earth Mothers sleep.
*******
Waiting for Lauren the next morning, Ryan was still standing at her door, but when she opened it, she only looked at the floor.
“Lauren, it’s okay. Be strong, be Lauren.” John smiled when he said it. She held his hand walking down the stairs, hoping to siphon moral support from him. Going into the backyard, Eric was present, having returned the night before, and was sitting with Logan at the table. Zack and Nur were sitting under a tree at the far end of the yard
As they sat down, Logan smiled at his sister, “You were always the champion of hide and seek.”
“That’s only because after you told me to hide, and then you would go and play with your friends, bastard,” but Lauren said it with a smile.
“How is Earth Mother?” ask Eric.
“I wish I was named ‘Champion of the Sword.’ Yours seems such a simple life. Wait. Kill. Wait. Kill. None look to you for directions or wisdom.”
“Many ask for directions. All seek the same. Directions to the afterlife. Many I do help.”
“So the blood lust goes well, champion? Tell me about your trip south and north?”
“Actually, Tranquil Fury is confused. He gets more confused every day.” Eric took a drink of hot bean juice, “When you told him that you didn’t care anymore, it really screwed him up. You told him to release
his prophecy, but when you talked of a million scream-filled nights, you shocked him. He began to understand how hate breeds, giving birth to wars, and that the price of admission was death. When we found the army marching north, we offered them the chance to surrender or leave. They picked the third option. In town, I put a dozen black-clad soldiers on a ship, telling them to send back somebody to talk to us, but I doubt if they will.”
Lauren knew her recent actions had shocked everybody, but to hear that Tranquil Fury had offered peace, it shocked her greatly, “In the north pass settlement?”
Logan let out a heavy sigh, “They attacked early, but Sister extended her protection to them. The north was so disorganized that they would’ve lost. When Eric showed up, he wouldn’t fight.”
“Wouldn’t fight?” asked Lauren.
“Tranquil Fury considered it a fair fight between the two sides. The black-clad army could never defeat him, and I’m not sure what he was thinking. He wanted battle, not slaughter. He suggested closing the pass with avalanches so that neither side could fight.”
“Yeah, that was the plan,” Logan scowled, “Stop both sides from fighting.”
Eric shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know if it was Fury that prodded Logan to act quicker, or if he did it to please Father. The black-clad were still in the valley when the avalanches rolled down the mountains. The entire army was buried alive.”