by D. M. Pruden
My now cold fou-fou coffee no longer interested me. “Of the things they taught us, why isn’t how to beat cancer one of them?”
He turned towards me and frowned. “They did! They gave us the tools to understand it and eliminate the defective code from the gene pool in future generations.”
I made a sour face, shook my head and took a drink.
“Oh, I’m sorry Glennis. I didn’t mean...”
“It’s okay. I realize you never intend anything hurtful. If there’s one thing this disease is teaching me, none of us is getting out of here alive. I am finished feeling sad for myself. I am aware it is my time. At least I won’t forget to say goodbye.” I smiled at him.
“They didn’t understand how to say it.” He resumed stirring the cold coffee.
“The Others taught us a lot during their time here, Boz. Maybe their joy about getting away from us made ‘goodbye’ the last thing to think about saying. Remember the fallout from the depleted uranium request?”
“Yeah, I suppose. General Sanchez behaved like such a dick towards them. How could he even think they might pose a military threat? They lived with us for thirty years, spilling their guts to us about everything from physics to biology to mathematics we couldn’t even dream of. They showed courage to appear on another world, not knowing how primitive or hostile it’s inhabitants might be. They chose to live among us and be vulnerable.”
“Boz, in their time here they never mentioned what system they came from and when they left, they turned off the only means to follow them. I say they didn’t trust us either. Nobody guessed where they went until two months ago. Why do you suppose?”
The way he looked at me told me how stupid my question was even before he answered. “Because, Glennis, Gliese 581 is twenty light years away. It took that long for their signal to arrive.”
Boz always made people feel inadequate, but this cut me deep for a different reason. Why I didn’t put that line of thought together? I hated the way the chemotherapy affected me.
I drained the last of my coffee without tasting it. “I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a big day.”
Boz stared off into space. “Yeah, I suppose it is.”
I worried about how he would get along without me.
The next day they intended to enter the codes to reactivate the alien portal. For such a momentous occasion the small number of people in chamber and adjoining areas seemed strange. The administration moved almost everyone from the research site over the past week, leaving only a select few behind to witness the event. The military attended in abundance, of course, but they maintained a low profile, with only the occasional armed sentry posted at key locations suggesting their presence.
Boz crushed and hurled his paper coffee cup into the waste bucket as we walked towards the chamber. “This is stupid. If they wanted to destroy us, they possessed the means to make our weapons as effective as water pistols. They could have done it twenty years ago.” The sentry kept a steady gaze on him as we passed. What kind of trouble did he think an eighty-five year old man might cause which required his trigger finger to twitch?
“They are all nervous and doing what they can so they don’t feel helpless.”
“Well, they’re all fools.” He turned and shouted back down the hallway at the soldier, “Idiots!”
“Boz! He is not the person behind this. You need to get a grip or they won’t let you anywhere near things.”
“Right, sorry, Glennis.”
I put my arm through his and we strolled down the remainder of the way in comfortable silence. I snuggled into the warmth of his body. Despite his grumpy exterior, he showed more excitement now than at any other time in the last fifty years. The pending activation of the portal vindicated him in everything he said and wrote about since the departure.
Somehow he understood they would contact us again, once they arrived back home. Perhaps Flopsy confided in him before they left.
“Boz, they taught us their mathematics and our best minds worked to understand it. Twenty years after the fact, the algorithms now exist to translate the new math into our language. Do you think they knew it would take us this long?”
He grinned at me with pride at my conclusion. “I think they did everything with a purpose.”
We arrived at the entrance and the sentry checked our identification and our retinal scans. A young army officer greeted us and accompanied us to the doorway. We reentered a room that showed no change over the decades. Fluorescent lights lit the massive room from the high ceiling. A huge metal ring, about a metre thick and half of one wide stood upright, prominent in the centre of the facility. The inner ring’s diameter was fifteen metres and as empty today as the day the aliens departed and deactivated it. Supplies and equipment, all tied down and ready for a trip, waited around the sides of the chamber. A dozen soldiers in full combat gear assembled in front of the pallets in formation and awaited their final instructions. I never imagined humanity’s first venture to a new world could begin like this. I am not sure it is how the Others envisioned their invitation would be received either. Boz clenched his jaw and said nothing.
The young captain directed us to our seats with the other dignitaries and scientists in attendance. They seated us in a place of honour as the only two of the original team present, the rest being dead or too infirm to attend. I didn’t know anyone there. In truth, the only reason they invited us at all is because of the contents of the Others’ message. They needed Boz to activate the device and they required me to be there for him.
I nudged him. “They sent that signal twenty years ago. How could they know you’d still be around?”
He smiled at me. “They just knew. Like I knew.”
“You knew what? They intended to contact us?”
He grinned at me and turned his attention back to the machine.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out the intent of the message from Gliese 581. They wanted humanity to come visit them. I am pretty sure they didn’t anticipate needing extra rooms for the army. By all rights, Boz should be standing on his feet denouncing the entire thing as unwarranted military aggression and refusing to cooperate. Instead, he sat there, his eyes never leaving the alien device. I always got worried when he stopped fretting about something that bothered him. In some cases, he wanted to detach and move on to something not as painful or bothersome. That was not the case here. The portal and the Others meant far too much to him.
“We are lucky to even be here. They don’t need you to turn it on. They need your DNA.” I hoped my comment could diffuse anything stupid he might be planning.
He cocked one eyebrow at me. “I know.” He directed his attention back to the wormhole device and the speeches began.
For twenty minutes I squirmed in my seat, not listening to a word. I kept looking at Boz, but his gaze never left the inactive gate. I placed one clammy hand on Boz’s arm and he put his hand over top of mine. His warm touch and reassuring smile calmed me. My vision blurred, and I wiped the wetness from my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder. Time seemed to stop in that moment during which a lifetime of undeclared feelings for him dropped from my troubled thoughts to settle around my heart like a warm blanket. My tears flowed as I comprehended the shortness of the time left for me with Boz. With everyone else we ever knew now dead, the sadness of leaving him alone overwhelmed me. I recalled my promise to tell him goodbye when my time arrived, yet I still could not bring myself to say it to him in words.
I felt his gentle hand caress my head and he whispered, “It’s time.” I turned to see the crowd’s attention on the two of us. I gave Boz a kiss on the cheek. “Good luck. Be wise.” I could think of no other way to caution him against doing something drastic with so many people watching.
He lifted his tall, lean frame from the chair with some effort and stood in front of the portal. He placed his right hand on a panel in its side and the machine hummed to life. The interior of the ring became opaque and glowed with a faint, milky tra
nslucence. The sound of power pulsing through the device thrummed through the room and everyone gasped, applauded and cheered.
The theatrics now completed, Boz’s clear blue eyes scanned the meagre audience and moved over to rest on the troops standing to the side of the room. My pulse pounded in my ears and I prayed he would heed my advise. After a brief moment, his eyes returned to the assembly and rested on me. A slight smile formed on his lips and he nodded. I breathed a sigh and relaxed as Boz began to speak.
“Ladies and gentlemen: Two decades ago, an amazing group of brave explorers left our blue planet to return to their home. They spent thirty years with us and educated us about many things for our benefit. They taught us what would do us good. They did not teach us everything they could. In their time here, they came to realize humanity, while having potential for advancement, also still possesses primitive drives that can do us, and others, considerable harm.” He made a point of looking at the military contingent on the platform. A general frowned.
“After their abrupt departure, many thought they left us for good. We now understand, in fact, as soon as they returned home to Gliese 581c they sent us a transmission. They gave us a reciprocal invitation to come and visit them. They even provided us a ride.” Boz gestured behind him to the polite laughter of the crowd.
“The Others knew their signal would not arrive here for twenty years. They did this on purpose. They understood humanity would require time to grow into the new knowledge which they gifted to us. They hoped by the time it arrived we would be worthy of the journey to their world.”
He moved close to the ring and stood in front of it, his back to the audience. He admired the device for a moment and turned to again face the anxious crowd, waiting for him to complete his message. Boz’s eyes sought out mine and he smiled at me.
“Rest assured another invitation will, one day, be sent.” Boz turned and walked through the gate, vanishing from sight. A second later, the machine shut off.
As chaos erupted in the chamber, I remained in my seat. I smiled to myself, even as the tears flowed down my cheeks. I could now go through my own portal to whatever awaits me and no longer worry about leaving Boz alone, or having to say goodbye.
Transfiguration
T’ahn E’chii made me uncomfortable. I am unsure what to refer to these beings as, so I will refer to T’ahn E’chii with the same gender pronoun I referred to Bill by. His presence across from me in the coffee shop made me squirm in my seat, and I could not bring myself to look at him.
The fact is, I am not at all uncomfortable being near members of the Eaqua Community. During my career I worked closely with many Eaqua since their arrival on Earth some forty years ago. I came as close to friendship as possible with many of them, and accept them as part of modern culture in this modern age. I am not a bigot, an anachronistic term resurrected on the ‘net referring to the vocal minority. . They protest the influence the Eaqua hold in our government, corporations and society in general. I am not one of them. I simply have a problem accepting T’ahn E’chii. You see, before he became T’ahn E’chii, he was my best friend, Bill Anderson.
Bill and I grew up in rural Montana together. We attended the same church, the same school. We played football on the same teams growing up and we went on to get the same doctorate degrees in bioengineering from Caltech. We even married our respective wives within months of each other. We were as close as two friends could ever be, and I thought I knew everything about my dear friend. That is, until the day came when he announced to me he intended to transition.
Bill and I worked as part of the original team selected by NASA to interact with the newly arrived alien species, the Eaqua. Their community was discovered on the moon by the expanding Chinese colonization. It turns out, they had been on our satellite for over a millennium. Their ship became disabled and crash landed on the far side of the moon, and with no resources to repair their vessel, they adapted to the impossible conditions and waited in vain for a rescue.
The Eaqua are more insectoid than humanoid. About half the height of the average human male, they have an exoskeleton and their basic structure consists of a head, abdomen and thorax, but only four limbs. They are bipedal for the most part, and similar to Earth’s insects, they do not breath with lungs but absorb oxygen through their body. Their unique anatomy allowed them to survive on the low oxygen supply remaining on their vessel until they found water on the moon and used it to generate oxygen. Water and oxygen; all they needed to live. They went into a hibernation state and didn’t revive until a lunar survey team discovered them. The rest, as they say, became history.
They numbered about a thousand to begin with. That is how many of them survived the crash on the moon and that is what their numbers remained at ever since. Well, the number of natural Eaqua, if that’s what you want to call them. The Eaqua don’t breed. They aren’t even sexed. Individual members can survive for up to tens of thousand of years, so they are from a human perspective, practically immortal. But they do die and need to propagate. They do this by co-opting other species to transition. Now there are about a million of them on Earth, give or take. Bill is one of them.
“You seem tense.” The voice simulator T’ahn E’chii used was designed to mimic Bill’s voice, but it didn’t get it quite right.
“I suppose I am.”
T’ahn E’chii clicked his mandibles and stared at me with his compound eyes.
“I guess that is understandable. Though it makes me sad to see you like this around me.”
“I suppose I am sad. I am mourning a loss.” I regarded him for the first time since I arrived. “Kay, Erin and Brad are mourning too.” My tone sounded harsher than I intended.
“Yes.”
“And your little grandson, Kyle! Your family! My family! Everyone who ever loved you has been betrayed, Bill. How could you do this?” I couldn’t stop myself. I promised myself I would remain calm and not get emotional, but I failed miserably.
“Can you accept it was a difficult decision for me too?”
“Why did you do it?”
“I needed to.” His voice trailed off and we sat together in uncomfortable silence.
The chatter around us became subdued as the other patrons politely tried to ignore our conversation. We sat in a back corner of the coffee shop and ridiculously hoped to remain inconspicuous. I took a sip of my coffee. T’aha E’chii ordered it for me, remembering my favourite blend. He even put the right amount of sugar and cream in it. It didn’t taste right.
“I thought I knew you.”
“Believe me, Carl, before the Eaqua came, I thought I knew myself. I thought I was happy with my life. But after they arrived...After forty years of working with and studying them I recognized feelings I always refused to let come up to the surface. I had always suppressed and pretended they weren’t there.”
“What feelings?”
“Feelings like I didn’t belong inside my own skin. I can’t explain it adequately. I was incomplete. I pushed the feelings down and ignored them. I diverted myself with friendships, especially yours. I thought getting married would make them go away. It didn’t. Kids, grandkids, career; none of it helped. The feelings persisted, gnawed at my soul at night as I lay awake in bed. I interpreted my life as a total lie.”
I tried to see the man whose story I heard. Instead I saw an insectoid with unblinking eyes whose story was as alien as he. I stared at the cooling cup of coffee which now served as my anchor to everything normal.
“You never mentioned any of this to me.” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my tone.
“How could I mention something I didn’t even realize was there? It wasn’t until the Eaqua came I started to identify my longing. Then, when they offered us transition...” I recognized the expression passing for a smile on the Eaqua.
This conversation was not what I had expected. T’ahn E’chii sounded so much like the old Bill, in his words, if not his voice. All my previous encounters with the Eaqua had been i
mpersonal and emotionless. I had never related to one of them at an emotional level before. Their brain structure differed so completely from ours none of us who worked with them even considered the possibility they may emote.
“What do you want from me? Do you want my approval? You never needed that. Do you want my understanding? I don’t understand. I don’t think I will ever be able to understand what you suffered with. All I understand are the feelings I am experiencing. Its selfish, but these feelings are as real to me as yours used to be.”
“Tell me.” The statement was pure Eaqua.
“You talk about the lie you say you thought you lived. If it was a lie, you didn’t lie to yourself. You lied to every single one of us. What you showed to us of yourself was nothing close to reality. We all feel betrayed by you. I can’t tell you how many evenings we spent consoling Kay or your kids. It is like you died, except you haven’t and the hurt keeps repeating itself every time we encounter you. In many ways, it might have been better if you died. We could come to terms with that. But we live every day with the knowledge you chose to deny, not only us, but your entire species. Is being human so horrible you couldn’t stand sharing it with us? Are we horrible to you? Did we ever mean anything to you?”
I paused my tirade and scanned the coffee shop. Part of me didn’t care who heard my outburst. Mercifully, people minded their own business, but the conversations were muted in the room. Could my words still hurt him? I didn’t know if I wanted to hurt him or absolve him of all the damage his decision caused.
How had this madness sweeping the globe end up at our doorstep? Transition became the trendy protest statement against human failings since the Eaqua first offered it twenty years before. At first it appealed only to the lunatics; the UFO hunters who never fit in to normal society. It’s unique strangeness gave them a chance to discard their own awkward place in the world and become a part of their fantasies. After them came others, less eccentric, but equally lost and disenfranchised, looking for a new life and a new hope. At the most, these first humans who accepted the alien’s offer of transition amounted to a few hundred. The new Eaqua could not be distinguished from the original arrivals and they became forgotten by humanity and blended in to the Eaqua community. A world that wanted to be a part of a larger universe embraced the new Eaqua offer as a viable alternative lifestyle.