Niklas took a long breath. He nodded.
“We’ll work it out,” she added, echoing his own reassurance from so long ago.
“Just don’t leave anytime soon, okay?” he said, lacing his hand in hers.
“I just got here. I don’t want to go, either,” she whispered.
He tugged her hand, and they walked down the last flight of stairs into the building lobby.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“You’ll see,” said Niklas. “Not far.”
They stepped out into the crisp afternoon air. Niklas led the way across Odengatan to Vasaparken, the park where they had first met. Since she had left Stockholm, the park had evolved from summer green to the bright colors of fall, but the path of tall pines hadn’t changed. Caroline looked up at the tufts of branches against the blue sky.
Niklas led them up the path and around the playground to a circle of magnolias. The trees had all lost their leaves by now, but the rock where Niklas had sat that day he had taken her pepper spray away looked exactly the same. Niklas dropped her hand and sat down on it.
“I think I fell in love with you here,” said Niklas, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
Caroline snorted. “You mean ‘in lust’?”
“Maybe some of that, too,” he chuckled. “I was trying hard not to stare that day. You looked so intense, studying these trees.”
He frowned and got up, pacing around the little clearing. His hands were still shoved deep inside his pockets, and his face looked blank and faraway.
“You okay?” she asked.
Niklas blew out a loud breath and walked up to her. He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a little black box.
“I don’t—” she started.
“Please, Caroline,” he said, cutting her off, “my turn first.”
She looked down at the ground and shook her head.
“Please,” he said. He tipped her head up and attempted a smile. “Hear me out.”
She swallowed hard, pushing back the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. She struggled to steady herself against the tide of emotions that threatened to surge. A conversation about marriage would be messy any time, but now, when they had just found each other again? It was too soon. Caroline wasn’t ready to take on this rift in their relationship yet.
He brushed her cheek with his hand, his fingers warm against the cool fall air.
“I’m sorry I messed up this part of our relationship so badly,” he mumbled. “I wish I could take back all the things I said about marriage.”
Caroline shook her head.
“No. That would be worse,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “Never knowing that marriage is a concession for you. I wouldn’t want that between us. I came here knowing your limits, and I’m okay with them.”
Niklas rested his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t mean that I wish I had hidden it from you.”
She bit her lip and rested her head on his chest, not wanting him to see the hurt this subject still brought on. His arms came around her, the little box pressing against her in his hand.
“You took me by surprise in San Francisco when you asked me about marriage. That answer had nothing to do with us and everything to do with my past,” he said, squeezing her. “Please, just give me a chance to talk this through.”
What he was asking was more than fair, but the wound was so tender she wasn’t sure she could stand to listen. He was doing this because he felt he owed her for coming here, which was about the worst reason to marry someone. He held the base of her neck, tilting her head so he could meet her eyes. He looked sad enough that she didn’t protest.
“Caroline,” he said quietly, “before we left Stockholm, I asked you to stay with me. You told me you couldn’t, that it went against every reason you left Detroit, right?”
“Something like that,” she said, frowning.
“And now you’re giving it a try.”
She could see where this conversation was going, and she looked away.
“It’s not the same thing,” she said. “Moving to Sweden doesn’t have to be forever.”
Niklas shook his head.
“But that’s the problem—I want you all in on this. I don’t want to wonder if you’ll change your mind and leave if life here gets tough,” he said softly.
She turned back to see his expression. Worry lines formed between his eyebrows, but the corners of his eyes crinkled with hope. She held his steady gaze as long as she could before she looked away. He stroked the nape of her neck with his rough fingers, so seductively familiar.
“It’s true that marriage isn’t as popular here in Sweden,” he said, “but that’s not the only reason I reacted. My experiences with marriage are too depressing to mention. I’m scared we’ll split up like everyone else in my family does. I’m still so mad at my father for leaving us that I can barely talk about it.”
The grief in his voice broke through to the part of her she had tried to close off, the part that wouldn’t let her hope for something she couldn’t have. She reached up to tangle her fingers in his hair, wanting to ease the worry etched all over his face.
“But I love you so much that I want to believe we’re different. Your parents still love each other, so I’m thinking maybe…” His voice faltered a little. “Maybe you can help me learn how to make a marriage work.”
Oh, Niklas. Caroline’s heart hammered in her chest, but she still wasn’t sure if it was expanding or breaking.
“I want to give you everything you want and need,” he whispered, “and I’m so afraid I won’t be able to.”
He paused, and Caroline could see his pulse pounding in his throat. He closed his eyes and gave a quiet laugh.
“This isn’t a very smooth marriage proposal,” he said. “I think I got off track.”
Caroline felt her own smile grow.
“Okay, here it goes,” he said, taking another deep breath.
“Caroline, I want a way to tell you that I am yours forever, no matter what. And I…” He paused, frowning a little. “You know who I am, Caroline, my struggles and faults. If you are willing to have me as I am, I will do everything I can to keep us growing together.”
Niklas coaxed her head closer and kissed her softly.
“I want to be with you forever,” he whispered. “I probably will always be scared of marriage, of what can happen to people who have been married for while, when things get rough. But that doesn’t mean I’m not ready to commit to you.”
Caroline tried to gather her thoughts, but she was having trouble sorting out her arguments. The relief of being near him again threatened to take over.
“I don’t want you to do this for me, Niklas,” she said carefully. “As you pointed out before, we don’t need a marriage certificate to commit to each other.”
Niklas shook his head.
“I’m doing this for us, not for you,” he insisted. “Getting married is my commitment to us, over everything else.”
She wasn’t sure what to say. She loved him, and he loved her. Was it that simple? Niklas had said as much more than once.
He studied her, as if trying to follow the thoughts she wasn’t willing to speak. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, she could see the familiar determination on his face. Niklas lifted her hand and placed the little black box in it.
“Please, Caroline Mendoza, will you marry me? I will love you and try to show you just how much I want to be your husband.”
She met his deep blue eyes, and they asked for her understanding. She opened the little box. A single diamond shined up at her, a glittering promise she still wasn’t sure she could believe in.
“I don’t understand. Did you slip out to get this while I was napping?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I bought it back in Detroit. I was going to ask you in that restaurant if the conversation had gone differently.”
She blinked
. He had decided to ask her back in Detroit? Even as they sat in the restaurant, Bauer’s insults still fresh, Niklas had hoped they could find their way back together.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m not,” he said. “I would have been pushing you if I had asked then. Now is much better.”
She nodded, letting her eyes well up.
“Yes, Niklas,” she said. “I want to be your wife.”
Niklas let out a long sigh and rested his forehead against hers. She lifted the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger. She held out her hand, and Niklas brought it to his lips.
“I just didn’t think I was the kind of guy who could love someone, not like this. And the miracle of it all is that you love me, too.”
His face was open with wonder. He ran his hands over her shoulders and down her arms, keeping his eyes fixed on hers. He let his hands settle around her waist.
“Jag älskar dig,” he said under his breath. “Det är bara vi två.”
Caroline couldn’t understand these last words, but she hoped she might soon. She brushed her hand over his cheek.
“I didn’t know it could be like this, either,” she said.
She stood on her toes and kissed his warm neck. He groaned softly. He stroked her hair and kissed her again. His smile widened.
“You’re mine,” he whispered. “I know I’m not supposed to think like that, but my God, Caroline, you’re mine.”
He traced the line of her jaw with his thumbs. She looked up at him, still stunned by the long plane ride and the familiarity of his body and the fact that she was getting married. She had just moved to a country that, until a few months ago, she would have had to search the map for. All to be with this man whose closeness made everything a little better.
Her life was shifting. All her future adventures would somehow have Niklas at the center, whether he came with her or not. Exactly what she had thought she never wanted again. But as she gazed up at Niklas, his body wrapping hers into a little cocoon, where nothing mattered except them, she would welcome whatever came next, as long as it was with him.
“I am yours,” she said, letting the words form slowly on her lips, “and you are mine.”
“Yes,” he said. “I’m yours.”
He held her face in his hands and sighed.
“My fears, my mistakes, my future, my deepest desires—” This last word was softer.
“You hold every part of me, älskling,” he said, bending his head for a kiss. “I’m yours. Forever.”
Forever. Because, in the end, she didn’t want to live without him. In the end, it was as simple as that.
Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for continuing on Niklas and Caroline’s journey from Happy for Now to Happily Ever After! I enjoyed exploring the hopes and fears of these two characters more deeply, and I hope they came alive for you the way they have for me. If you enjoyed this book, I’d be grateful if you’d take a couple minutes to leave a review here.
If you’re interested in hearing more about the details of their round-the-world trip, you can sign up for news on my website and receive the steamy episode, “Niklas in Italy,” from Niklas’s perspective. The story takes place a few days after the first book ends, near the beginning of their travels. Sometime soon I’m hoping to write another episode that takes place in Australia!
Looking for more steamy Stockholm adventures? The next book in this series, Stockholm Diaries, Melanie, takes place on a little island in the archipelago. Check it out here.
Best,
Rebecca
About the Author
Rebecca is a writer, editor and translator who has always loved to read and travel. Though she earned a Bachelor’s in English and a Master’s in English Education, most of what she learned about writing romance has come from other sources.
Rebecca has, over the years, called many places home, including Michigan, where she grew up, New York, San Francisco and, of course, Stockholm, Sweden. After their most recent move from Sweden back to the San Francisco Bay Area, she and her husband assured each other they’d never move again. Well, probably not.
Other books in the Stockholm Diaries series…
Stockholm Diaries, Melanie
Long summer days in the Stockholm archipelago
a young American biographer looking for answers
and the sizzling Swedish man she finds instead…
in the next book in the Stockholm Diaries series!
Biographer Melanie has spent her life in the shadow of a single question: Why did her father abandon her? When he unexpectedly dies and leaves her his cabin in the Stockholm archipelago, Melanie heads straight for Sweden, looking for answers. But island life isn’t what she expects, and neither is her new neighbor, Henrik. Together they try to piece together the story that both tangles their lives together and pulls them apart.
Available on Kindle Unlimited and in paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Stockholm-Diaries-Melanie-Rebecca-Hunter-ebook/dp/B015YKFYG0/
“Stockholm Diaries, Alice”
Four night.
Three countries.
Two separate lives.
The temptation of one future together.
Four steamy episode in the Stockholm Diaries, Alice series, coming soon!
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