A mammogram. “Nothing you’d care about.”
He shifted on the couch, scooting farther back, and leaned against the cushions. Seeing him there brought back a flash of memories, ones that made her blush down to her toes. In her mind’s eye, she was naked, draped over the taupe microfiber of the armrest, Ty behind her, their bodies pounding to a desperate rhythm. His hands clutched her hips so hard it hurt, but with the kind of pain that made the moment catch fire, consuming them both with lust and bliss and greedy need.
“This place has a lot of memories,” Ty said, seeming to read her thoughts.
She met his dark gaze and held it, a flood of longing opening her chest wide, swirling in opposition to the logic that begged her to get rid of him—fast.
A well of anger overflowed inside her, spilling over the high rim that had contained the emotion for so long. She was mad at herself for still wanting him, and even more mad that she’d let him through the door. She narrowed her gaze, the muscle in her jaw twitching its protest to her clenched teeth.
Seeming to sense her change in mood, Ty sank further into the couch. “You hate me, don’t you?”
The anger dissipated as quickly as it had overwhelmed her. “I don’t hate you, Ty.” How could she despise someone she’d wanted to have babies and grow old with? Her forehead grew taut with the beginnings of a tension headache, and she rubbed her temple.
“Good.” He patted the seat next to him.
Mandy looked at his hand on the couch, then to his face. She’d rather lick blackened gum off the sidewalk than risk his touch. “Why are you here?”
He rubbed his palms down his cheeks and sighed. “I don’t know… I mean, I do know, but…”
“Look, Ty, I’ve got stuff to do. Why don’t you call me after you’ve collected your thoughts?”
“No!” he blurted, exasperation thick in his voice. He took a deep breath, seeming to shore up his strength. “I mean, no… I can do this now.”
“Spit it out, Ty.”
“I want to get back together.”
She stilled, not sure she’d heard him right. “Say what?”
“If you still have the ring I gave you, I want you to wear it again.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I still love you.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“I want another chance.”
Mandy stood in stunned silence. How many times had she fantasized about this moment? In detail, she’d played out this scene over and over again—Ty groveling at her feet, telling her he’d made a mistake. She’d always taken him back in her fantasy, and they’d lived happily ever after, but now that it was happening, the scorned woman inside of her exploded. “You fucking asshole!”
Ty bolted from the couch, his massive body lurching toward her. In two long strides, he stood in front of her, his eyes begging for forgiveness, his expression hurt and scared and determined. “Let me explain.” His hands wrapped around her wrists, and he tugged her toward the couch.
She’d be damned if she let him lead her around like a dog. With a swing of her arms, she twisted out of his grip. “Sit!” she demanded. After months of sulking in the shadows over his betrayal, it was her turn to be heard.
Ty slunk back, the back of his knees hitting the couch, his body collapsing onto it. Whatever she was going to dish out, he seemed more than willing to take it.
Mandy paced in front of him, opening and closing her fists. “You left me during the most vulnerable time of my life.”
“I know.”
“Shut up!”
He clamped his mouth closed and stared at her, his expression miserable.
“The pain from the mastectomy was nothing compared to the pain you inflicted on me. You asked me to marry you, to have your children, and when my life took a turn for the worse, you ran like a bat out of hell!” She pivoted, staring him dead in the eye. “I never would have done that to you, because I actually loved you. Now, get out!”
“I’m not leaving until you listen to me.”
“Yes. You. Are. If you don’t, I’ll call the police to remove you.”
“I didn’t leave for the reasons you think.”
“You mean, because you didn’t want to deal with my sickness?” She inched toward him, her muscles rigid as stone. “You mean, you didn’t leave because I’d be mutilated after the surgery? Because I couldn’t screw you for six months during the chemo? That’s not why you left, you selfish bastard?”
Ty pounded his fist on the armrest. “Listen to me!”
Mandy took a deep breath, fighting back tears. “Give me one good reason why I should.”
“My dad… he died of lung cancer when I was a kid because he smoked three packs a day. By the time he turned forty, he could hardly breathe. I watched him die.” His voice broke. “I couldn’t watch you die, too.”
“Your mom said he died of a stroke,” she whispered, barely able to get out the words.
Ty shook his head. “No. He had three strokes while he was fighting the cancer because his arteries were as hard as rocks from smoking, but he died from the cancer.” His eyes glistened with moisture. “I thought you were going to die, Mandy. I couldn’t bear to watch, not after my dad.”
She fell to the loveseat, unable to wrap her mind around his words. They completely contradicted everything she’d believed to be true about Ty. He’d left her because he was selfish, plain and simple. It was a mantra she’d chanted every night for half a year to convince herself she was better off without him.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered.
Ty crossed the living room, and the loveseat jostled as he sat beside her. When he took her hand in his, she wanted to protest, but didn’t.
“I never stopped loving you,” Ty said, the fear in his gray eyes churning like storm clouds. With a light caress, he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the inside of her wrist.
She’d always considered herself good at reading people’s true personalities. And everybody had a beautiful stone facade adorning their frontages, like Roman pillars standing guard against the mansion of a good heart, or beautiful green ivy growing over the rotting shack of an evil soul. It both protected and tricked those who came close. Ty’s veneer had been proud and even arrogant when she’d met him, but he lived to serve others through his job, much the way Mandy lived to serve children as a nurse. When they’d been together, she’d always considered his cocky veneer the covering of a good heart, a selfless soul.
After their breakup, she’d learned she was wrong about him. He’d turned out to be self-centered and heartless, and because of that, she no longer trusted her ability to read people–even Justin. But what if Ty was a good man? What if her first impression of him was dead on and his breaking off the engagement hadn’t been due to selfishness?
“Your dad. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know why I was so scared. I just knew that every time I was around you, I felt like a tiger in a five-foot cage. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t handle what was happening to you.”
A tear trailed down her cheek, and she was pissed as hell that she was crying over him yet again. “You told me you didn’t love me anymore.”
“I lied to you… to myself. I thought I could live without you, but I can’t.”
“I can’t risk you hurting me again.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“If the cancer came back, you’d run.”
He shook his head. “No, never again.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t expect you to. Not yet, anyway.” He placed his finger under her chin, the blunt tip of his nail pressing gently against her skin, and lifted her gaze to his. “Answer me one thing, and I’ll leave.”
“What?”
“Do you still have feelings for me?”
She wanted tell him he meant nothing to her, but she knew Ty already had the answer to his question the moment she’d let him into her house
. As much as she wanted to pretend she felt nothing for the man next to her, it was a lie. She steeled her nerves and nodded.
“Then, I’ll get you back. Somehow, I’ll prove that I deserve you.” He leaned in, and his warm lips brushed a tear from her cheek.
Her desire to touch him, feel his body against hers, made her tremble. She hated her weakness, wanted it gone, wanted him gone, too. “You should leave.”
Without protest, he nodded and stood slowly, his tall form taking on its full height. Her limbs were weak, her knees wobbly, but she forced herself to her feet and followed him to the door.
Before he walked out, he peered over his shoulder. “Better clean your diamond ring. You’ll be wearing it again soon.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” she said, trying to regain a semblance of control and defiance. Before Ty could say something to change her mind, she forcefully shut the door behind him, the slamming noise rattling her nerves. If he knocked, she wasn’t opening it. In the silence that stretched out for an eternity, she finally heard his footsteps head down the stairs. Not until he revved his engine did she allow herself to relax. With her back pressed to the cool metal of the door, she slid to the floor.
Her head spun, as if she were falling down a rabbit hole, bouncing off tree roots and rocks as she plummeted. The room tilted, and she lowered her body to the linoleum. Ty had hurt her, more than any surgery or cancer or dance with death ever could. No matter his reasons, he’d betrayed her. As the cool tile pressed against her cheek, she made a vow that, no matter what lay ahead for her, she would not allow him back in her life.
She raised her eyes to the ceiling, brushed the tears from her cheeks, and silently prayed she’d have the strength to keep her promise.
* * *
Justin wiped his sweaty palms on his slacks before knocking on Mandy’s front door. He’d never been so anxious before a date, but he’d imagined this moment for three years. He finally had a shot with her, and he was positive he’d find some way to screw it up. Just treat her the same way you did when you were friends, he reminded himself.
Mandy opened the door. “Hi, Justin.”
The way she looked at him contained a hint of apprehension, but the observation was lost as soon as he got an eyeful of her outfit. She wore a black spaghetti-strap dress that hit just above her knees. Her curvy calves led his eyes down to a pair of red open-toed pumps.
“Nice shoes.”
She turned to the side and kicked her foot back, the heel nearly hitting her round bottom. “I haven’t worn stilettos in a year.”
“That’s a damn shame.” He forced his gaze from her legs, up to her swanlike neck to her cherry-red lips, then to her sparking blue eyes. She had to be the most attractive woman on the planet. “You realize I’m going to need a firearm to keep the guys at the restaurant from hounding you, right?”
She chuckled. “I think a water gun would work fine.”
He scanned her up and down again, and his blood stirred in all the right places. “Nope, I’ll need the promise of death behind my threat.” He winked. “As good as you look, they might risk a mortal wound anyway.”
She blushed as red as her high heels. “Do you always lay the charm on this thick?”
“No one else is worthy.” He held out his arm, waiting for her to take it. “Shall we?”
Mandy slung her purse strap over her shoulder. “We shall.” She wrapped her graceful fingers around his elbow.
Damn, he could get used to parading this little lady around town.
Three hours later, they still sat in the Italian restaurant where they’d eaten dinner, even though the plates had been cleared an hour earlier. Waiters bustled by, and hostesses guided patrons to their seats, but they were nothing more than background noise to the main show—Mandy.
He asked her questions about nursing, her sister, her friends, anything to hear her sweet voice. While she talked about Emma, he watched a loose ringlet of blond hair graze her cheek. He wanted to reach out and tuck the lock behind her ear, but he feared she’d find the gesture too intimate. He nursed his beer instead and imagined the day when she’d let him touch every inch of her.
“You never talk about your family,” she said.
He blinked a few times, trying to push the picture of Mandy’s naked body out of his mind. He cleared his throat. “What do you want to know?”
“Where does your dad live?”
He knew the topic of his family would come up sooner or later, though he had been hoping for later. “Galveston.”
“And your mom’s at a hospital there?”
“Yep. She’s been there since I was ten.” He knew he should elaborate, but he was so used to avoiding questions about his mother, he couldn’t find the words.
Seeming undeterred by his brief answers, Mandy asked, “Will she ever be released?”
“Not likely.”
She leaned forward with an intent expression. “Why not?”
Justin slugged a big gulp of beer as he grappled with the easiest way to explain his mother’s situation without scaring Mandy. He swallowed, and said, “After my sister died, she lost touch with reality.”
“Dementia?”
He nodded, though that wasn’t the whole truth.
Mandy’s voice softened. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
Justin shrugged. “That’s why I don’t talk about my parents much. My mom’s institutionalized, and my dad pawned me off on family after she was committed.” There, he’d revealed his past. Well, part of it. Eventually, she had to learn everything about him, including things no one but his dad knew. The thought made him want to shut down, but he wouldn’t, not with her. He’d waited too long for a woman like Mandy.
* * *
Mandy sensed Justin’s tension; though she wanted to ask how his sister had died, she swallowed the words, deciding it was better to stick with less painful memories. ”Who raised you?”
“My grandparents until I turned fourteen, and then my Aunt Grace.”
Good lord, in four years, he’d lived in three homes. Mandy’s dinner suddenly sat heavier in her stomach. “They treated you well?”
“Aunt Grace drives down from Houston once a month just to bring me a homemade apple pie.”
Mandy chuckled. “She loves you.”
“Yes, she does.”
“Good.” He deserved to be loved.
After a few seconds of silence, she glanced at her watch and was surprised by how much time had passed. “You realize the movie started an hour ago.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What’s your point?”
“Nothing, I’m just sayin’.”
“You in a hurry to leave?”
She swirled the red wine in her glass, sending the rich scent of clove and cherries wafting through the air. “Not at all.”
Mandy scooted down in the booth, slipped off her shoes, and stretched her toes. With Justin for a dinner companion, she could stay there all night. In fact, she was so relaxed that sometime during the evening, Ty had become a distant memory, which was odd, given that he’d taken up a large space in her brain since his visit. Well, dang, she was thinking about him again, but more with curiosity than confusion, probably because she’d resolved never to get back with him no matter how much he begged.
As she slid her heels back on, she asked, “Did you and Ty talk after I took off with my sister?”
Justin nodded. “He wanted to know if you and I were buddy-buddy again. When I didn’t answer him, he glared at me while I ate.” His expression turned smug, as if he’d enjoyed pissing off Ty.
Mandy was careful to show no emotion, though she was disturbed by how fast those two had gone from ‘I got your back’ to ‘Don’t turn your back,’ all because of her. If Ty had confided in Justin the way he had with her in her apartment earlier, would they still be friends? The possibility made her ache.
“Do you think you and Ty will ever become friends again?”
He grimaced as if he’d just bit in
to a lime. “Hell, no.”
“What if he didn’t leave me for the reasons you thought he did?”
Justin leaned forward. She thought he’d been hanging on her every word earlier, but he now appeared to be one giant listening ear. “What are you talking about?”
She took a deep breath, afraid to darken the perfect mood of their date. But if telling him about Ty’s visit could possibly repair their relationship, she was game. “Ty came over today.”
Justin tilted his head slightly, his face emotionless, but a fire sparked in his eyes. “What’d he want?”
“To talk.”
“About?”
“Why he left me.” She squirmed uncomfortably in her chair, realizing the conversation could easily go south. She chose her next words carefully. “He said he watched his dad die of cancer, and he was afraid to watch me die, too.”
“You believed him?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Justin studied her, as if deciding on her level of gullibility. When he said nothing, she asked, “You don’t believe him?”
“I lived with him for two years. I know the kind of shit he can pull.” Justin lowered his brows, the intensity of his expression suddenly fearsome. “What else did he want, Mandy?”
Heat crept up her neck and spread across her cheeks. She’d gotten in way over her head.
“Are you going to answer me?” Justin asked in a tone too even for his rigid posture. He picked up his longneck, tilted it up for a drink, then downed the entire thing.
She braced herself. “He wants to get back together.”
He slammed the bottle on the table. “Christ!”
Her heart skipped a beat. “You’re overreacting.”
“Am I?” He snorted.
“I’m not taking him back.”
He eyed her as if he wasn’t sure she spoke the truth. “Ty always wants what he can’t have.”
His words stung because he must have thought what she’d suspected all along— Ty only wanted her back because he was jealous. A heavy weight bore down on her chest, like bricks stacked higher and higher. “Could you even think for one minute that maybe he’s not lying?”
The Calling Page 8