by Jude Ouvrard
“Slow down, Calvin.” I begged, desperate for more time to breathe. My heart pounded against my ribcage, resonating down my toes.
“I don't think I can.” He sounded as breathless as I did. Sweat appeared on his forehead and it looked so sexy. It showed how much he was putting into it. His goal was to please me, make me weak and he was succeeding.
He kept on slamming inside me, as hard as before and I was certain I heard him moan my name. I pushed myself against him, raised myself on my elbows so I could look him in the eyes. We were eye-to-eye and the desperation in his turned me on. He wanted this as much as I did. Calvin held me against him as he pushed deep inside me, one last time. He moaned aloud when his whole body tensed up against mine. I felt the warm seed, erupting deep inside of me. I groaned, I kept him close to me until I regained control of my trembling body. I had never felt like this before. My body went limp, my mind turned into jelly. Oh my god!
Chapter THREE
AFTER A FEW MINUTES, THE silence in the room was deafening. It made me insecure. I didn’t regret what we’d done, but his silence had me believing he did.
I was the first one to break the silence. “I better go before Krystal comes looking for me.” He stepped away from me, doing up his pants and belt.
I pushed down my skirt to where it belonged. I fixed my top and hoped my hair wasn’t completely messed up. Before I left, I turned to him, hoping he would say something, but he didn't. After making me feel so incredible, I couldn't understand how he could make me feel so worthless just a few minutes later. I unlocked the door and turned the door knob. Tears threatened to escape when he called my name. “Iris, stop,” he ordered with a demanding voice. I turned back to face him and he extended his hand. “Come by my office Monday morning. Here, take my card.”
Worthless didn’t even begin to describe how bad I felt. He could have called me a whore and in that minute I would’ve believed him.
“Screw you, Banks.” I turned and slammed the door so hard, the surrounding walls trembled. I wanted to run, but I didn’t want to create a scene so I walked away from him as fast as I could. Once I reached the crowded bar area, I knew he wouldn't pursue me – at least, not in a way that would interrupt the ambiance of his precious opening night. When I reached Krystal, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Calvin standing behind me, a couple of feet away.
“You’ve been gone forever,” Krys complained. “What were you doing?”
“I know, I’m sorry.” Krys looked over my shoulder and I knew Calvin was right behind me. “Nothing of importance.” I sighed. “I need a drink.”
“Nothing of importance.” I heard Calvin mutter from behind me. For a moment I wavered and then I decided I couldn’t ignore him any longer so I turned around. I tried to blank out what had happened between us and stay calm. I had never been used like that in my entire life. “I have your card, I’ll give you a call,” I announced.
He sighed and lowered his gaze. Before I lost sight of his eyes, I was certain I had seen pain in them. “Why do I have a feeling you won’t be calling me?” he asked.
“Do you always treat women you have sex with like that? Not so much as a goodbye, or thanks for the ride?” I demanded. “And when I was about to leave, you couldn’t think of a single thing to say, just handed me your fucking business card. I’m not a whore!”
“You aren’t,” he replied evenly. “I hate that you feel that way. I’m sorry.”
“You sure treated me like one.” My voice was getting louder as I grew angrier. I had to keep it quiet, aware of the crowd around us. “What I did with you, is not the type of thing I do. I’ve never done something like this, but you tempted me and I thought, why not?” I chuckled, although there was no amusement in the sound. “Biggest mistake ever. You had me. You got into my pants. You got what you wanted, so you can leave now.”
“It wasn’t like that!” Calvin protested. “I stayed quiet, because I didn’t know what to say.” He glanced around the crowd and then brought his face closer to mine. “Look, I can’t talk about this here.”
“I need a drink.” I wanted to get wasted, forget this night and him for that matter. I shoved past him, Krys following behind.
“What the hell happened, Iris?” she demanded, when we were out of earshot.
“We... we fucked in his office. It was good, very fucking good.” I smiled at the memory. “But... afterwards, he didn’t want anything to do with me, treated me like shit.”
“Are you crazy? Tell me all about it!” Krystal's reaction didn't surprise me in the slightest. She loved sex and always wanted to hear every juicy detail. Except tonight, her timing sucked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Damien had never been so good and it was upsetting to think about him now. I had to let it go. Let Damien go. Let my body love this moment, without guilt. Calvin had wanted me; he had given me everything I could ever want from a man. I had to accept it had been a fabulous fuck and enjoy the moment without over thinking it. “Where’s Zach?” I surveyed the room and couldn't see him. Had he left while I was busy?
“He had to go to the restroom,” Krystal grinned. “So tell me, I want all the details.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don't tell Zach.”
In all seriousness, Krystal crossed her chest. “I promise I won't.”
I thought for a minute or two, debating what to say. Zach and I shared something which was much more in my relationship realm. We had been working on this thing between us for weeks and I thought we were developing real feelings for one another I didn’t think it was a fling. We had gotten to know a lot about each other. I know, it made me sound old school, but having sex, even really good sex, in an office didn’t represent who I was. I had strong moral values. Calvin hadn’t treated me in a bad way, he hadn’t reacted the way I’d expected him to and I was so far out of my comfort zone, I’d made myself feel like a whore. Damn, I was so confused. “It was so deep and real,” I admitted. “He would be a great lover.”
Krystal lifted an eyebrow. “But?”
“Afterwards, he went all quiet and told me he wanted to talk to me on Monday. He gave me his business card and acted as if nothing had just happened between us. I’m not a whore. I don't do this shit.”
“Yikes! That was shitty of him,” Krystal agreed, “but he did run after you and he still can't stop looking at you.”
I quelled the urge to turn around. “Where is he?”
“He's talking to Zach.”
What! Hell no! I turned around, panic rising in my chest. Scanning the room, I couldn't see them. What if Calvin mentioned something about what we’d done? Zach would never forgive me.
“Look to your right.” Krystal laughed when she pointed them out. I must have looked pretty ridiculous, craning my neck like some sort of crazy woman.
Calvin was handing Zach a drink, and his eyes met with mine when Zach walked away from him. We stared at one another for few seconds and I could have sworn I saw pain in his expression. He was trying to tell me something through his eyes. I might be pissed off, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to let things end this way or he might show up at work and embarrass me. I decided I needed to put my anger aside and talk to him.
Zach reached my side and gave me a beautiful, heartwarming smile. “Hey, sugar. Rich boy said you wanted a drink. Here it is.”
I drank the shot and hugged Zach while the warm liquor lingered in my throat. I figured two or three more of these, would sort out my night.
“I need to do something, okay? I’ll be right back.” I kissed his cheek and he let go of me. Without another glance at Calvin, I walked back to the office, knowing he would follow me. The door was unlocked, so I stepped inside and waited for him.
His tall figure slipped in through the doorway only a few seconds later.
“Now is your chance to talk,” I announced adopting a cold attitude.
He nodded his expression serious. “I’m sorry you are mad. You have every right to be. The way I reacted �
� it was wrong. I know you deserve better than that, and after taking you here, it felt all wrong.” I wanted to stay mad at him but he looked concerned.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?” I asked.
He held up his hands. “Listen. Never in a million years, would I have thought I was going to see you here tonight, and then, you show up in that skirt with those freaking hot legs. I brought you in here to talk, but I lost control?” He paused, waiting for me to say something but I remained silent. Calvin continued. “I think you’re beautiful, I’ve been watching you, every single time I go into that store to get my coffee. It became an excuse, for me to see you. I know, you don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I know you’re smart and I wanted to offer you a better job, one where you could make more money.” He stepped closer to me and I could sense the warm aura around us. He was still a stranger to me but somehow, he managed to make me comfortable.
Focusing on what he had said, I frowned. “I don’t need your pity, Calvin.”
“It’s not pity. I worked hard for what I own now. Somebody once gave me a chance, and I wanted to give you a chance to lead a better life while you’re studying.”
“You saw me at the restaurant, and you thought I was good looking, so you decided to offer me a job?” I asked in amazement. Was he serious?
“I know it sounds... crazy, but yeah. Please think about it, and come and meet me at my office on Monday morning. I’m not offering you this for the wrong reason, I’m trying to do something nice.” He chuckled and offered me a smile. “Besides, you can’t deny that we do have good chemistry.” He winked and brushed his thumb over my lips. “We could grab something to eat after and we could get to know each other.”
I thought for a minute. I could use more money, living in New York was costing me much more than I had expected. “Okay, I’ll think about Monday.” I sighed. “I’m sorry I over reacted.”
“It’s okay. You had every reason to be pissed.” His eyes locked with me again. I wanted him to kiss me like he had earlier but I was too scared to admit it.
“I’m going to go now. My friends are starting to ask questions.” I walked past him, not wanting to touch him and feel that sexual tension again. I didn’t want Zach to suspect anything was going on and I was already flustered.
“Who is he?” Calvin asked. Obviously my kiss on Zach’s cheek hadn’t gone unnoticed. For some unknown reason, knowing he’d been watching and had noticed, pleased me.
“Zach is my very good friend. We both live at the same dorm near the University.” Honesty was the key. He had seen me with Zach earlier, he needed to understand that I wouldn’t give him up.
“I don’t like sharing,” His voice was severe, not a hint of humor in his tone. Is he serious? I’d just met him. We barely knew one another.
“I’m not yours.” My tone matched his. I didn’t want to play any games, but I wasn’t going to promise exclusivity to a man I knew nothing about.
“Yet.” He smiled as he captured me in his arms and pulled me closer. We lost ourselves in our gazes. It could have been three seconds, or thirty seconds, I had no idea. His hands held me hostage and I stared at him, relishing the feel of his body against mine. He had kept most of his clothes on when we had sex, leaving me curious. His cologne, his sleek hair, the charm emanating from him was driving me wild. All the things he did to me on his desk were coming back into my mind.
“Kiss me.”
Did I say that out loud? I must have because Calvin clasped my face in his hands, frame it with his strength and his mouth landed on mine. He tasted of whiskey and I couldn’t get enough. Why was kissing him so powerful and exciting? He topped every man I had ever kissed before. The list wasn’t that long, but it didn’t matter, Calvin kissed like a God. And everything else he had done left me flabbergasted. All I believed in had disappeared when I was with him. The good girl was gone and replaced by this free-spirited, naughty Iris. This man was making me crazy for him, and I knew nothing about him.
He caressed my body, his hand seeking bare skin, and I knew I had to stop this, or we would end up butt naked in his office again. Zach might be clueless now, but it wouldn’t last any longer if I let this happen again.
I pushed Calvin away. “I can’t do this again. My friends... Zach, he’s not stupid and I don’t want to do this to him.” Calvin didn’t need to know the depth of my feelings for Zach. It would make everything even more awkward if he did.
“I know, I get it.” He forced a smile. I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a last, chaste kiss. I watched him as I went to the door, as if I was saying a final goodbye. I had never been so confused. I’d gone from being in a stable relationship with a cheating bastard, to being torn between two men. Two gorgeous men, but I was attracted to them both for very different reasons.
“I’ll see you on Monday, okay?” Calvin said.
I nodded, without meeting his eyes. My heart was pounding; begging for more time with him, but my brain kept me grounded and forced my legs to walk me out of that office.
The bar was still crowded and everyone seemed to be having a great time. Tons of beautiful people with class and a truck load of cash. The skirt I had decided to wear to the party seemed inappropriate here, but I refused to let that small detail ruin my night. Krys pulled me onto the dance floor and we danced the night away. Zach joined us and kept us hydrated. My head and arms began to feel as if they weighed hundreds of pounds, a sure sign of the alcohol kicking in.
As per the norm when I’ve been drinking and as embarrassing as it may be, I had turned into ‘Cuddles’, the one who wanted to hug everyone in the room. So embarrassing. Thankfully, I kept it contained to Krys or Zach, and Calvin when he showed up every now and then to dance with us – or me. I noticed all the other girls were watching him, smiling at him every chance they got, and I was surprised to find myself jealous. Was he going to be sleeping around, if we ever became a thing, or would he be devoted to me? I had no clue and it killed my enjoyment thinking about it.
Calvin danced with me, he flirted with me, but it didn’t stop the brunette who touched his arm seductively. Krys intervened and tried to bring my mood back to having fun. Calvin left us when Julia came over to let him know an important guest had arrived. I danced with Zach until we both were too tired to stand any longer. We sat on a couch for a little while, and I made sure that I had the perfect view of Calvin from my position. He was engaged in a serious conversation with a man, and he seemed very business-like. Krys joined us at the couch with a plate of shots and I knew these would be my last. We drank the shots, one after another. I was very hot, the shots were strong and a wave of heat ran through my limbs. It was a sure sign that I had pushed my limits, and I knew I had to be careful. Being sick at this party would be the ultimate humiliation.
“I need some fresh air. I’ll be back in five minutes.” I went outside and stood by the front window. The night air cooled me down, but didn’t stop the dizziness that overwhelmed my head. I’d definitely had enough to drink.
Chapter FOUR
I STARTED LOSING GAPS OF times around that moment of the night.
I could remember Zach laughing at me when he tried to help me put my jacket on. Then, Krys’ flirting with the taxi driver. I might have fallen on the stairs at the dorm – and then nothing. Total black out, too much alcohol, so many things which could have gone wrong.
Waking up the following morning, the sun was rising up from what I could see from my window. I rubbed my eyes and my vision cleared. To say I was surprised to see Zach next to me was an understatement, but the fact that I was lying here naked freaked me out.
I sat up on the bed, my head pounding. In the end, we had done it, but I didn’t remember a single thing. How sad was that? We had waited so long before sharing this moment and I had no memory of the event, nothing at all.
I stretched to grab my phone from the nightstand and check the time, but the two condom wrappers I saw changed everyt
hing. Oh my god – we had done it twice. I had been with two different men, in less than a couple of hours and had managed to have sex three times in a row. What was happening to me? I kept asking myself that question as I was so confused by my behaviour.
The room was cold and I missed being under the warm sheets. Zach looked at peace; a small smile appeared on his face, as he was enjoying his dreams. Zach was everything I looked for in a man. He was the whole package. My brain was battling between someone who was my type and someone who wasn’t.
I settled back down on the mattress and covered myself with the comforter. A few seconds later, Zach cupped my breast and covered my legs with his. A big bright smile forced itself onto my lips. It seemed so natural to be like this with him. I could get used to this.
“Closer.” He surrounded me with his arms and pulled me into a warm embrace. Cuddling naked with him had a soothing effect on my headache. It went away as his caresses became more demanding. “Sugar, I want to see your face.”
I bet I had mascara all over my face; I didn’t think this was a good idea. It could transform our beautiful moment into the biggest turn off in history. I also had the memories of Calvin in my head and it hurt me. It made me a terrible person.
“You’re so beautiful.” He kissed me and it led us to making out. Humping like teenagers, I could feel his erection pressing against my thigh. It propelled me into action. I wanted him now and I made sure he knew I was interested. Nothing could hold us back, we were ready – no clothes to take off. My hands danced across his body and with time, the memory of what we had done during the night came back. The anxiety of the first time when Zach, so nervous, couldn’t stop asking if I was okay. His love showed in every one of his words and actions. I wished that it didn’t remain so blurry in my memory. I had to make this time count as the best of all three times.