by S. L. Finlay
Choosing not to argue anymore, I nodded once and turned to leave.
"Oh, and baby girl?" Daddy asked as I got up to leave and our eyes met. "Daddy has big dreams that help him set goals. Don't forget that."
I nodded once, and then I was gone. Through Daddy's office door and down the hall on my way to the little room. I felt hurt by Daddy's remarks, but mostly I felt indignant.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I wasn't about to forget that Daddy had big dreams which helped him set his goals in a hurry after I was confined to my room for two days without any contact from Daddy. I had hoped that this would be the extent of the punishment as it was painful to not see my Daddy. Then, one day with the lunch that Al bought me he also came a note that had been hand-written from my Daddy.
Part of me wanted to hold the note close to my chest, just like how I wanted Daddy to hold me close to his chest. I did manage to resist the temptation though. I wasn't going to be a little girl right now, I had to be a big girl, so I opened the envelope and withdrew the crisp paper that Daddy had written:
To my dearest little girl,
You have been very naughty and have upset your Daddy, so I have not spoken to you for two days'.
I hope that this has been enough time for you to think about what you have done.
Should you feel that you deserve a second chance at Daddy's training, you are to tell Al that you want that chance. When you are ready for that second chance, Al will bring you to me.
I stared down at the paper for a long moment before I looked up at Al and nodded my head silently. Al gave a little smile before instructing me to eat my lunch, telling me that he would go and tell Daddy the news.
Doing as I was told, I started eating my lunch. I felt nervous right away, but knew I must eat to get what I wanted quicker. Daddy wouldn't have me bought to him if I was hungry after all. Because I knew this was the case, I ate at a much faster rate than I normally would have.
By the time Al had returned, I had finished half of the lunch he had bought me, and he was there hardly any time at all before I smiled and told him I was ready, and that it was time to take me to Daddy.
Al took me to Daddy once I was full of food and ready to go. Of course too, as he always seemed to be, Daddy was in his office. Al opened the door for me and I entered.
"Yes Daddy?" I asked, not quite ready to let go of the stubborn feelings I had, "I am ready to resume my training whenever you are."
"You think that you are ready to continue your training?" Daddy asked me, and his face was telling me right away that I'd said the wrong thing. He did not look happy in the least. In fact, he had a little sadistic glint in his eye that told me I need only make one wrong move, and I'd be breakfast. That was on top of an air of anger that surrounded him. I was a little scared.
"Yes, Daddy. I am ready to continue my training." I said stubbornly, although mostly because I didn't know what else to say to my Daddy.
Daddy just shook his head at me, "you cannot get back into training quite so easily, baby girl." He told me. "You must be punished for showing disrespect."
"I must? What?" I asked, and Daddy's smirk grew. This wasn't going to be good, I could already feel it.
My arms were crossed across my bare chest and I heaved a great sigh, this wasn't going to end well, I could tell.
Daddy stood and commanded me to come to him. I did so and when I was close to him, he petted my hair. It felt tender and warm, and caught me off guard. Was Daddy going to kiss me? Right when I parted my lips ready for a kiss, and felt my whole body ready for Daddy's embrace, all was taken from me as he grabbed my ear and twisted it. Feeling unable to get away, I followed as Daddy led me by the ear from his study into a bathroom that ran off the study. I hadn't been in this room before, and was unsurprised to see how grand it was. Everything in this mansion was grand, after all. Daddy and I stood in a large room with a spa in the middle and large, marble floor-to-ceiling tiles. The counter tops were marble and when I looked, I noticed the spa was too. This room was beautiful. It was like a large work of art, but I didn't have a chance to admire that as Daddy released my ear and picked up a bar of soap.
I looked at him, and the bar of soap in his hand and my eyes widened as I realized what he was going to do to me.
Daddy was going to scrub my mouth out with soap.
Ordering me to sit beside the sink on the marble bench top he took off his suit jacket and rolled up his crisp white shirt sleeves before picking up the soap and running the water into the sink. He made me open my mouth and started washing my mouth out with soap. It felt humiliating, to be a grown woman completely naked on a counter top as her Daddy washed her mouth out with a substance that tasted like powdered lavender. There was nothing sexy about this, my eyes welled up with tears of hopelessness and humiliation. I could see Daddy's face through my tear-haze, angry and indignant as well as sadistic. He was going to teach me a lesson.
When he was done soaping my mouth, he forced me to rinse with the water in the basin while he returned to his desk. I felt like something dirty as I saw Daddy's back moving into his study again.
I rinsed the soap from my mouth as quickly as I could before I returned to the study where I found Daddy, wearing his suit jacket again and sitting behind his desk as if nothing had happened. He looked as if he was still a little mad, and I figured that he wasn't done with me yet.
Daddy made me kneel in front of him and I did so before he asked me, "you know why I did that, girl?"
I nodded, knowing why without needing to be told so gave my answer, "because I answered back."
Although I had hazarded a guess with the wording - I knew words and how you worded things meant a lot to men like Daddy - he seemed to accept my words with a curt nod and told me, "yes, because you answered me back girl. Now, what are you going to do in future when I tell you to do something?"
"Do it." I answered without hesitation.
"Good girl." Daddy answered, "but I'm not done with you yet."
Daddy ordered me to stand and had me spin around. I did as I was told and Daddy started groping my ass before bending me over the desk and spanking me, hard.
Daddy's spanks weren't the same as they had always been in the sexy, erotic way and rather, daddy's spanks had more bite to them than they usually did. Daddy's spanks hurt, but they didn't hurt as much as the caning that followed hurt.
That cane I'd bought for him wasn't the best idea, I realized about half way through my caning, remembering that the other cane had never hurt quite so much as this one.
I got ten of Daddy's best, and he forced me to count them off, just as he had done that first time.
As hard as it was to keep count, I managed to do so throughout. I wasn't going to earn myself more hits because I had left a few numbers out.
When Daddy was done with me, he told me it was time I returned back to my room.
"You will receive another letter from me tomorrow with breakfast. The letter will have your new orders on it. Complete those, and we'll talk." Was all he said to dismiss me from his office.
Daddy still seemed a little mad as I left, but his sadism seemed to be sated, which was a small relief for me as I turned my back and walked towards the office door.
Leaving Daddy's office, my ass felt sore to the touch and when I returned to the little room to examine my behind, I could see that there were welts, bruises and cuts forming on my behind. Frustrated, I lowered myself into a warm salt bath to treat the cuts. It stung and I shied away from the sting when my ass had first met the water, but I wasn't going to let that pain stop me. I needed to treat the cuts, so I forced myself to apply salt to my own wounds. I needed them clean and to heal properly.
When I had disinfected the wounds with salt, I lay myself on my bed on my tummy and got back to reading one of the many, many books Daddy had me read to learn more about the lifestyle we were leading with this unconventional relationship. I wasn't going to let this punishment be a setback in my training, rather, I was goin
g to use this punishment to propel myself forward and to force myself to learn more about the things I knew I wanted.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The following morning, I awoke bright and early and when I rolled from my side onto my back, forgetting the caning the day before, I was swiftly reminded as the pain from the caning returned. With a sharp intake of breath I returned to my side and touched the soft skin of my behind. It hurt, a lot. Even though I had given it a good salt bath and some decent after care, I couldn't deny the pain.
Getting up, I walked from the bed into my en suite bathroom to inspect my sore behind in the mirror.
Overnight the bruising had become darker and the welts more pronounced. I had never thought of myself as an easy bruiser, but wondered if perhaps I was as I looked at myself in the mirror. This wasn't right, and it wasn't fair. But then, it was exactly what I had signed up for. Daddy hadn't punished me for anything before and it was just a shock to the system that now I was being punished for something naughty that I had done.
When breakfast came, so did Daddy's letter. I wasn't sure that I wanted to open it in front of Al who had delivered it, so waited for him to leave the room before I did.
Hello girl,
As before, I would like you to visualize your dreams and goals for me. I want those dreams to be as big as you can make them - no dream is too big - and I want you to write out those dreams and goals that you would most like to see happen. They can be that you want to be a woman of independent means yourself, that you want to own a company, that you are ready to learn more about BDSM, that you want to open your own BDSM business. Whatever it is, I want you to write it down and bring to to me, girl. You will do this this afternoon after your lunch, so you have all morning to work out what you want and how you will get it.
With love,
Daddy
I read the paper twice over before folding it back up and putting it back into the envelope it was delivered in. I heaved a massive sigh at how annoying this task still felt - even after the punishment I had received over my last failed attempt - and lay back on my bed, to let my mind do some work for me.
I had read somewhere that the human brain was like a big computer, and that if we presented our minds with our biggest problems eventually our minds would work through them and find some solution. So there I was, concentrating on finding a solution by using the big computer-brain inside my scull.
It's never easy to find a solution though, or at least, it doesn't feel that way when you can't come up with instant solutions to your problems, as of course you would like to do.
Still feeling the dull ache from the caning, I sat down with the diary Daddy had given me already and got as comfortable as I could on my very bruised, freshly caned bum while I flicked through the diary. There was so much in here, but Daddy was right that these were not big dreams. Actually, it read more like a laundry list of someone who dreamed small. Also, of someone who was pretty basic in their tastes. I wanted to visit Paris, really? What about the Amazon rain forest or Mongolia? Why hadn't I said I wanted to go somewhere obscure and impressive? But then, when I thought about it, I didn't want to go to those places. This whole thing was about being true to myself, after all.
I hadn't thought of myself as someone who dreamed small before Daddy had rudely pointed it out, but now I was surrounded by all of Daddy's money and could see that yes, it was possible for someone to be this rich and to still want more from life. My dreams of financial stability seemed quite small by comparison. Actually, it all looked pretty small from where I was standing. I couldn't stand that, and wanted to come up with bigger dreams. But what?
When you had spent your life under someones thumb, and then had made yourself someones slave (by literally selling yourself blindly to them, no less) it was a rather believable possibility that perhaps you didn't know how to dream big. Of course you didn't know how to dream big if you were so used to being told what to do that you hardly had space in your life for big dreams.
This thought was a bit of a no-brainier, really, but was also the leverage I needed when it came to sorting this stuff out. I needed to get over myself, and get beyond the training I had already received. I needed to grow, and to shine for my Daddy. I had read about this a lot in BDSM non-fiction, about how people used kink to work through their problems, and to create a structure by which to challenge their own presumptions.
Obviously, this was Daddy's way of practicing BDSM, and it was something that not only did I have to adhere to, but something that I was quite happy to adhere to going forward.
So there I sat, thinking about all of the things I would want if I could have anything I wanted. At first, just as had happened before, my dreams were small. I thought about how I wouldn't mind some more financial stability. I thought too about how I wouldn't mind a couple more friends, or, sex with Daddy. Actually, I thought about sex with my Daddy quite a bit before I finally owned up to it and wrote that on the page.
I could do anything I liked, so why spend so much time worrying about my thoughts and where they went? I could dream up whatever I wanted.
And Daddy had told me to do this, and to dream big. So long as I dreamed big, I shouldn't get in trouble again. This was about following orders, I reminding myself as I put pen to paper and started writing out my dreams for Daddy, trying not to get too bogged down in if the dreams would be 'okay' or not.
It was later that afternoon when I entered Daddy's study wearing nothing but a smile did I feel the resurgence of confidence I hadn't felt in a long time. Owning my dreams was a big deal, and showing off those dreams to the man I loved was a big deal, too.
I had a little skip in my step as I stopped in front of Daddy's desk. Daddy looked a little tired and a little harried, but he forced a smile onto his face and told me to stand right there and tell him about the dreams I had written down.
Not needing the piece of paper, I boldly told my Daddy - in a way that didn't feel like timid me at all, actually, I felt a little outside of my body at the time - about how I felt about him. I told him about what I wanted in my future, a future that heavily featured him.
"Daddy," I began, "I want to keep you in my life, but if I had my way, things would change. Our relationship would become sexual and I would be more than a bed warmer to you. Daddy, I would be desired by you, as well as loved by you."
My answer seemed to catch Daddy off guard, just as I had expected, so I went on. "Daddy, if I had my way I would also own a few businesses and invest some money in places where it should be invested. Daddy, I would have my own income and would not be in a position where I needed you anymore. Daddy, I would only have you around because I wanted you around."
My answer was honest, and right from the heart. It seemed to catch Daddy off guard, and as I had expected him to have something to say right after I finished, I was taken aback and rushed to fill the silence.
"I would also like to learn French, Daddy. And to live abroad. I would like to study at university for the fun of it, to learn to write poetry. I would also like other skills too Daddy, I would like to learn how to whittle and play the harmonica. I would like to live in different places, to write, to read, and to enjoy nature. I really want to enjoy nature more, because when I do, I feel so rich." I told him.
Daddy waited for me to finish what I was saying before he spoke again. With a small smile he told me, "that's wonderful, baby girl."
There was a respect in Daddy's eyes that I had not seen there before. There was something there that I hadn't expected to see but when I did see it, it made me very happy.
"I like your answers." Daddy told me, "but I wasn't expecting them." His eyes were not on mine after those words, but were staring down at his desk in front of him.
"You like my answers?" I asked Daddy, feeling a bit nervous at his words.
Daddy simply nodded his head to indicate yes while still looking down at his desk, and picked up a pen on his desk to play with it. "I do, but I don't." He answered. He sounded pensive, it
scared me more than when he had that sadistic glint in his eye before punishing me.
"What do you mean?" I asked, wanting his approval so badly that it hurt.
"I mean that I like that the dreams are big." He told me, "But I am not sure if they are realistic."
Knowing that I was Daddy's slave, I thought I knew what he meant. I thought that he meant that my dreams of a romantic relationship were a bit unrealistic, and that this slave relationship wasn't the type of relationship that can simply morph into a romantic relationship just because you want it to. I let out a deep sigh and thought hard about what had been said before answering, but I couldn't help it, my wayward heart would not be still.
"Can you tell me what's not realistic about my dreams, Daddy?" I asked. My heart hurt but all I wanted in that moment was to hear him to say the words, rather than to have me guessing. I didn't feel much like engaging in mind reading right then. I didn't like mind reading, or think it was fair for him to make me do it.
Taking a breath, Daddy told me, "girl, you are my slave. I have bought you and you signed a contract to say that all of your assets would belong to me. Because of this, there is no way you can be independently wealthy. Your property is my property. I do want you to learn the skills of making money, but when you make it, it is still my money."
I took my own deep breath and tried to focus on just that. My breath felt a little hollow as I pushed it in and out, in and out, in and out. I breathed a bunch of times before I mustered the strength to respond, "Okay Daddy." I tentatively agreed, "but what about everything else?" I asked.
What I really wanted to know was if he would take me and make me his. I desired him so much. I desired his body a lot, but not as much as I desired his heart. I wanted both. I wanted to give him both my heart and my body too. But not in the 'all owning' way, in a romantic way. I hungered for those things the most - more than I desired to learn a language, or own a lot of things or be independently wealthy - I hungered to make my Daddy happy, and to give myself to him. I hungered to be his, not just in name, but in body, and heart, and soul too. I wanted to show him how devoted I was. I wanted to show him how deep this love went and how deep it would go into the future. My love for Daddy grew every day and I didn't see that changing any time soon.