Hank had engineered Diane and Maggie’s escape. He’d called in some shady favors and had them flown down to his postapocalyptic haven in Ecuador. He’d built a substantial house aboveground years earlier, and he added a sturdy schoolhouse in less than two months. Now he spends most of his time building and fortifying the family’s bomb shelter. He is a happy prepper. He’s ratholed enough from his stint with Tilmore to last him decades, and Ecuador has a thriving expat prepper community—his people. Most importantly, Hank has Diane, and a baby on the way.
Diane is adapting, but slowly. She still speaks only a few Spanish phrases so that most of her interactions with locals degenerate into impromptu games of charades. But Maggie will help Diane with that—she has to teach Spanish to someone.
Maggie, as always, is mad busy. She spends her days working with the children, haggling with vendors for textbooks, and helping her two teachers with their lesson plans. Maggie teaches classes too, English and basic math. The school is still in its infancy—growing, but fragile. To avoid discovery, she’s grown out her hair and dyed it red, an unconscious homage to Danny. Whenever panic gnaws at her, she reminds herself how notoriously difficult it is to extradite anyone from Ecuador. Sovereignty forever!
Diane asks, “Are you coming to the festival tonight?”
“No, I’ve got too much to do around here.”
Diane presses, “Eduardo is going to be there.”
Maggie deadpans, “That must be very exciting for you.”
“You gotta get out there sometime, Maggie.”
“Thanks but no thanks. I’m not interested in meeting that guy. I don’t care how much Hank likes him.”
Diane is relentless. “He’s tall.”
“Yeah, well, I’m closed for business.”
“He’s rich. He owns a factory in the capital.”
“I said I’m not . . .”
“It’s a chocolate factory, Maggie.”
“Well, it can’t hurt to say hello.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Okay, here goes. Thanks to my beloved, challenging children—Jacob, Lily, Daisy, and Oliver. Your experiences and personalities inspired this book, so I dedicated it to you. So there! When you grow older and tell your future therapists how terrible I was, I’ll point to the dedication in this book. The therapists will probably tell me it proves nothing and I’m being defensive, but still! Double thanks to Oliver for recommending a worm mascot and to Jacob for drawing the worm cartoons so brilliantly.
Thanks also to my brilliant, endlessly supportive husband, Johnny Chen.
Endless gratitude to my parents, Mort and Ingrid Cooperman. Yes, Dad, there is a bit of you in Lars. And no, Mom, you are not any of the flawed mothers in this book. You are wonderful.
Thanks to the educators in my life: my much-smarter-than-I-am sister, Jessica Choi (a phenomenally gifted teacher); my even smarter best friend, Deborah Cunningham (who develops curriculum for her nonprofit—Primary Source); and the hypercompetent teachers at my children’s schools. Plus, I have to thank my own grade-school teachers, the ones who somehow jammed math and grammar into my candy-addled mind.
Thanks also to my friend—the mightily esteemed outgoing principal of my kids’ elementary school—Wendy Wardlow for offering advice and encouragement. And no, Wendy is not Maggie. I’ve never seen Wendy in a Pilgrim outfit.
More thanks to my witty, eerily insightful editor, Jodi Warshaw, and the other kind folks at Lake Union Publishing (Amazon). And thanks to my agent, Amy Tipton (Signature Literary), for her endless support and to Jenna Free and Carrie Wicks for their editorial guidance.
Another round of thanks to the friends who helped me “birth” this book: Kate MacPhail, Anna D’Angelis, Nicole Smokler-Monsowitz, Kathleen Maugham, and Letitia Capriotti.
And finally, thanks to the readers of this book. I’m amazed you stuck it out to read the acknowledgments. That is hard-core.
BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What do you think of the friendship between Maggie and Diane? Is it inherently unequal because of Maggie’s position as Diane’s boss? In what ways is Diane the dominant partner?
2. Do you think that Maggie and Diane should have been punished more?
3. What drew Maggie to Danny beyond his looks and their compatible body parts?
4. What did Lucy get out of art class—other than finding Rachel? What does a whiz kid learn from the experience of failing at something?
5. Do you think Danny’s conscience was clear? Did he somehow delude himself into thinking the MathPal was harmless? Is it harmless?
6. What do you think of Rachel’s mother, Andrea? Was she wrong to pressure Rachel to lose weight? Or was she just being honest about what society wants from girls?
7. What do you think of Lucy’s mom, Mrs. Wong? How does she differ from the “Tiger Mom” stereotype?
8. What do you think of billionaires like Walter Tilmore building luxury bunkers? Why did Tilmore’s classroom in the bunker make Maggie so angry?
9. Do you think Maggie should have reconciled with Richard?
10. How did you feel about the book’s ending? Who wins out? Who loses? Should someone have gone to prison?
11. Does it matter whether public schools expose young kids to science, art, music, and PE? What about foreign language instruction? What if the school’s students are barely competent at math and English? Which subjects are essential, and who should decide?
Kudos if you’ve waded through the above questions. By now, some of you might be exhausted, punchy, or tipsy. Below are less bookish, more gossipy (but still profound!) questions. Enjoy!
12. Have you ever had a ridiculously gorgeous friend like Felicia Manis? Did you resent her? [Note: If you have never had a friend who is prettier than you are, you are ridiculously gorgeous, and there is a strong chance that the women in your book club resent/hate you. Just sayin’.]
13. How do you feel about Facebook and other tech behemoths selling your personal information? Do you resent it? Are you indifferent? Is it sort of flattering?
14. Who was your least favorite elementary/middle/high school teacher? Why? What did he/she do to you? Go ahead and vent. You’re safe among friends—unless that teacher is in the room.
15. How is Walter Tilmore’s bunker similar to the setup in Downton Abbey? Would Lord and Lady Crawley force their servants to sleep upstairs in the spartan, less safe rooms? If doomsday comes, do you think Tilmore’s servants will agree to this arrangement? [Note: The Pollyannaish author neither condones nor opposes class warfare—unless it turns out well for everyone, or almost everyone.]
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Photo © 2016 Jamie Moore
Kathy Cooperman spent four years performing improvisational comedy, then decided to do something less fun with her life. After graduating from Yale Law School, she went into criminal law, defending “innocent” (rich) clients. These days, she lives in Del Mar, California, with her husband and four challenging young children. Crimes Against a Book Club was her first novel. Follow her on Twitter @Kathy_Cooperman or contact her on Facebook. She is happy to Skype with or attend book clubs. It gets her out of the house.
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