by Yoram Kaniuk
Those people died long ago. Goya is dead. The man is dead. The shot remains. The way in which Yechezkiel is the only one who remained on the Castel, for the Castel is long gone. Yechezkiel says he carried one of the wounded. He doesn’t remember who shot him, but the wounded man died and Yechezkiel was saved. That’s the way it is.
We talked there. We laughed. We touched upon the present somewhat, but it slipped through our fingers, not really existing, and we couldn’t talk about Bibi or Barak or those poor children of foreign workers that Eli Yishai wants to deport. No, we didn’t touch upon life, we touched only the past, which is dead.
The friends became friends of themselves, too. They know each other from nowhere, one of Israel’s leading cinematic artists, and the expert on Arab affairs, and others, each of whom has accomplished a great deal in his life, and they want to touch the only man who remained on the Castel. Perhaps there are more. All of us who fought there and are still living are battle-fatigued. Yechezkiel also expresses something that we don’t talk about. Quite recently somebody told me, You could have taken off, why did you go on fighting when you knew you didn’t have much chance of survival? And there, with Yechezkiel, seeing his face furrowed with wrinkles, the sad glory of an old soldier, I thought that there’s something in soldiers, in every war that people who have not fought will never know: the terrible dependency on killing. There is a primordial instinct in man, we were born to kill in order to live, to be hunters, to protect our families. I remember that in between, between pain and nothingness, I loved the moments of battle. We all loved them. Every fighting soldier loves to shoot and kill. He’s got an enemy. And the enemy leaves no need for philosophizing about morals and things like that. In battle we are human beasts. Bloodthirsty.
At the birthday party I mentioned earlier in this book, I stood on the green lawn of a little house that has since been supplanted by a four-story building, and ranted about death. About the happiness in death. About the beauty of death. About my part in the sacrifice, and about having no regrets. Afterward I did regret it. Afterward I criticized myself. But not then. And not now that I’ve grown old.
I’ve written that I killed a child. But everyone who was in that battle knows that it wasn’t me who killed him. Guilt etched a deep incision. Only today do I realize what a punishment I imposed upon myself when I wrote that I killed a child. And now it’s noon on Friday, August 6, the hottest day yet until Saturday, and Yechezkiel remains there to escape what I have suffered all my life; he remains there, and he has no guilt or self-examination or remorse. He is still in the almost, waiting for the bullet that will kill him.
Glossary
Bab el-Wad The point on the Tel-Aviv to Jerusalem highway where the road begins to ascend. During the 1948 Arab-Israeli War, the Jordanian Arab Legion and Jewish convoys fought for control over the narrow road, for it allowed access to the blockaded city of Jerusalem. In Arabic it is known as Sha’ar Hagai, meaning “Gate of the Valley.”
Bar-Kokhba Revolt A Jewish revolt against the Romans from 132-136 CE. As the third and final major rebellion against the Roman Empire, the revolt established an independent state of Israel over parts of the Judea Province.
Betar A revisionist Zionist youth movement that was founded by Ze’ev Jabotinsky in 1923. The group encouraged Jewish nationalism and military action, and aided in the widespread immigration of Jews to Palestine during the British Mandate.
British Mandate
for Palestine Formally confirmed by the League of Nations in July of 1922, the period from 1923 to 1948 in which Palestine was under civil British administration.
Bubbeleh A Yiddish term of endearment.
Burma Road A makeshift bypass road built by Israeli forces when the Arab Legion seized control over Bab el-Wad. Israelis built the road to break the siege and deliver food to the Jewish population in Jerusalem.
Castel The location of an old Arab village in the Judean Mountains that overlooks the strategic Tel-Aviv to Jerusalem highway (see: Bab el-Wad). There was only one such road to Jerusalem, so when the Israeli Defense Forces conquered and destroyed the village in the 1948 Arab-Israeli War, the triumph significantly boosted the morale of the Israelis.
Etzel A Hebrew acronym for Irgun, an underground military organization that splintered from the earlier and larger paramilitary group, Haganah, between 1931 and 1948. The group’s policy was based in Jabotinsky’s Revisionist Zionism.
Froilich Yiddish for “jolly.”
Grush A small coin similar to a penny, but in modern Hebrew slang the term doesn’t refer to a specific denomination.
Haganah Literally meaning “defense” in Hebrew, Haganah was a Jewish paramilitary organization in Palestine during the British Mandate, and eventually became the core of today’s Israeli Defense Forces.
Haggadah A religious text that recounts the Jewish liberation from slavery in Egypt, as described in the Book of Exodus. The book includes commentary, liturgy, and songs, and is traditionally read aloud during the Passover Seder.
Hamachanot Ha’olim A socialist Zionist youth movement that was founded in 1926 by pupils from the Herzliya high school in Tel Aviv. Members believed agricultural labour and military service were necessary for the realization of a Jewish state.
Hannah Senesh (July 17, 1921- November 7, 1944) Hannah Senesh was an Israeli poet who was deployed by the British during World War II. She was captured, tortured, and eventually killed by the Nazis without ever revealing the details of her mission, which was to rescue Jews in Hungary before they were deported to Auschwitz.
Hashomer Hatzair Literally meaning “The Youth Guard” in Hebrew, Hashomer Hatzair is a socialist youth movement that was founded in 1913. Members believed immigration to Palestine and living in kibbutzim would liberate the Jewish youth, and help them attain their Zionist ideals.
Hatikva The Israeli national anthem, literally meaning “hope.”
Histadrut Israel’s organization of trade unions that was founded in 1920. Membership expanded rapidly during the British Mandate period, and the organization played an influential role in the Jewish state-building process.
Kennen Yiddish for “know.”
Kiryat Anavim The first Kibbutz built in the Judean hills. The land was purchased from the Arab Abu Gosh family in 1913, and Jewish pioneers began settling the area in 1919. Kiryat Anavim served as a base for the Palmach during the battle of Jerusalem.
Lehi An offshoot from the Irgun, Lehi was a militant Zionist group founded by Avraham Stern in 1940. The group’s objective was to forcibly remove British authorities from Palestine to enable the unrestricted immigration of Jews to the budding Jewish state. The term Lehi is an acronym for the Hebrew title, Lohamei Herut Israel, or “Fighters for the Freedom of Israel.”
Masada Located atop a mountain in the Negev desert, the fortress is an iconic historical location for the Jewish people. The palace and fortification, now in ruins, stand for the collective suicide of the Jewish rebels so they would not have to surrender to the Roman Empire in the first century CE.
Me’a She’arim An ultra-Orthodox neighborhood in Jerusalem.
Mukhtar Refers to the head of an Arab village.
Ostjude A derogatory term meaning “Jew from the East,” used by assimilated and educated Jews from central Europe to describe Eastern European Jews who spoke Yiddish. The Ostjude were often poor and dressed like today’s ultra-Orthodox.
Palmach Founded in 1941, Palmach was the underground Jewish army during the British Mandate, and became the elite fighting force of the Haganah (see: Haganah). The word is defined literally as “Strike Force” in Hebrew.
Palyam The maritime force of the Palmach that was set up in 1945. Palyam translates from Hebrew as “Sea Company.”
Revisionists A right wing, nonreligious faction of the Zionist Nationalist movement. Led by Ze’ev Jabotinsky, revisionist ideology is distinguished by its belief in restoring the historic Land of Israel to the Jewish state.
Roytzeh Hebrew for “want.”<
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Sabra A Hebrew term used to describe the “new Jew,” who was born in Israel and stereotypically a confident, better assimilated, laborer of the Zionist movement. The term alludes to the desert plant that was thorny and tough on the outside, and soft and sweet on the interior. Where the Sabras commonly cultivated the land and worked on kibbutzim, they were often compared to the European, “old Jews” who were born in exile.
Sheikh Abrek A small village in the Jezreel Valley that was settled by Arab Armenian refugees in 1926. When they were relocated in the 1980’s, they left behind several graves on the northern hill.
Sheikh Jarrah An Arab neighborhood, even today, that sits between the westward Jewish and eastward Arab communities in Jerusalem.
Tel-Hai A site in the Northern Galilee in which a famous battle was waged between Arabs and Jews in 1920. The Jews were led by Joseph Trumpeldor, a now iconic figure in Zionist history, who said before his death, “it is good to die for our country.”
Traumen Yiddish for “dreams.”
Wadi Arabic term referring to a valley or dry riverbed.
Yishuv Meaning “settlement” in Hebrew, the term refers to the Jewish residents living in Palestine before Israel established statehood in 1948.
YORAM KANIUK, one of Israel’s leading writers, was born in Tel Aviv in 1930. After being wounded in Israel’s 1948 War of Independence, he moved to New York for 10 years. A novelist, painter and journalist, Kaniuk has published many novels, memoirs, short stories, non-fiction and books for children and youth. Named an Officer in France’s Order of Arts and Letters in 2012, Kaniuk is also the recipient of the Mediterranee Etranger (2000), the Newman Prize (2006), the Kugel Prize for Lifetime Achievement (2008), the France-Israel Foundation Award (2010) and the Sapir Prize (2010). In 2011, he received an Honorary Doctorate from Tel Aviv University. Kaniuk’s books have been published in 20 languages.
ANTHONY BERRIS was born in the UK and has lived in Israel for most of his life, working as a teacher and freelance translator.