by Glynna Kaye
“Please don’t feel you have to spend time with me while I’m here. We both know I came because of Cory.”
He leaned in toward her. “I want you to know, Elise, that I’ve been real careful about making promises to Cory, not being stupid like I was with Michael.”
“You believed you’d be there to fulfill every one of them. It’s not your fault his mother didn’t see things the way you did.”
He shifted restlessly. “I should have recognized the way I felt about Michael far exceeded the depth of my commitment to his mother. She was right to call it off. But I wish she’d have allowed me to gradually wean Michael away, for both our sakes.”
“Is that what you want to do with Cory? Gradually ease out of his life?”
He propped his elbows on his knees and lowered his head into his hands. “I don’t want to talk about this, Elise.”
“We need to.”
“I know we haven’t known each other long.” He lifted his head to gaze at her in the dim light, his eyes filled with pain and his voice husky. “But I’ve already come to—”
“Don’t say it, Grayson. It will make it harder for both of us.”
“I don’t see how that’s possible, unless you don’t care for me the way I care for you.”
But I do! I love you! her heart cried out, but the words didn’t reach her lips. When she tried to imagine a life with him, her mind would flash to the night she’d clung to Duke’s still-warm, unresponsive hand, begging him to hear her voice, to open his eyes. This morning, when the call of an officer’s injury came in, Grayson’s face had superimposed over Duke’s in that dark, emotionally raw scene of her imagination. A warning.
“I do care.” She kept her voice even. “It’s because I care that I’m making a decision to end things now. I’m sorry I’ve hurt you. It wasn’t my intention.” If only she could go back in time and never pick up the phone that night to call him, to beg him to spend time with her son. “Now, about Cory—”
Gray’s warm, strong hand grasped hers. “No, it’s not about Cory. This is about us, Elise. You and me. You can’t deny what’s been growing between us.”
“I’m not denying it. I’m facing the realities of it. Long-term, I’m not what you need.”
A disbelieving scoff escaped his lips. “Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?”
“You’re seeing things in me that will never be there. Things you need. Encouragement. Support. A woman who is strong enough to let you be you and allow you to do what you need to do.” For a long moment she squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could be that woman. “You need a woman who won’t hold you back because she’s a basket case of irrational fears. A woman who has an unwavering faith and won’t demand more from you than you can give.”
“You’re stronger than you think you are.”
“I’m not.” She pulled her hand free and slipped the quilt from her shoulders. Dropped it into his outstretched hand as she rose to her feet. “I’m sorry. I want to be. But I’m not.”
“What if...” As he gazed up at her, a sudden brightness lit his eyes. But he hesitated as though debating the wisdom of what he was about to say. Seeing him struggling within piqued her bleak hopes. How she longed for answers. For guidance. For a way to free herself of the fears that bound her.
“What if what?” she prompted.
He shook his head slowly, as though defeated. “Nothing.”
Disappointed, she turned away. “Good night, Grayson.”
* * *
“Heard from Patty Earl again.” Jack grimaced as he pushed back from the lunch table and gave Gray a significant look. “It’s your turn to take her next call, bro.”
“Thank you kindly, but I’ll pass.” He glanced at Elise, who sat quietly across from him, Cory and Darcy having already gone on a pony ride with Jack’s fiancée, Keira. She gave a slight nod to acknowledge she remembered what he’d told her about Patty and Joe Earl—and the unsavory possibility that Joe could be his biological father. “But what’s up with the phone calls? I thought she as much as slammed the door in your face the last time you tried to see her. Said she wasn’t answering any more questions.”
“She’s singing a somewhat different tune now.” Jack’s lip curled in disgust. “Claiming she understands what a shock the truth of my paternity had to be. Said it almost took her breath away how I favor her late husband and that’s why she refused to see me. Said I don’t look a thing like Brian Wallace.”
“Of course you don’t.” Violet poured herself another glass of iced tea. “You look like Mom, just like the rest of us. What else did she say?”
“Oh, just that had the Wallaces not up and moved away when the kids were small, her husband would have seen to it that his boys got a chance to know him. She now has a sudden hankerin’ to spend time with Joe’s boys.”
Gray grunted. He still wasn’t buying this Joe Earl business.
“Yeah, right.” Maddie made a face. “I bet she started seeing dollar signs once she did some snooping and learned about the ranch. What if she shows up on our doorstep?”
Gray leaned back in his chair, taking in the dismal expressions on the faces of his siblings. There was only one way to nip this Patty Earl business in the bud, but dare he voice it? His gaze again connected with that of Elise, who communicated silently that she knew what he was thinking. What he was about to say. And approved.
Why couldn’t Elise see they belonged together? And why hadn’t he been able to get those words out last night to tell her he’d be willing to quit the force?
Jack rose from the table, but Gray motioned him to again be seated. Then he shot another look in Elise’s direction for moral support. “I’d like to address something we’ve likely all batted around in our heads for some time, but nobody’s had the gumption to bring up.”
All eyes in the room riveted on Gray.
“This Joe Earl business could be settled with a simple DNA test.”
Not surprisingly, no one gasped as if the idea hadn’t occurred to them. No dirty looks were thrown his way. As he’d suspected, it had been the elephant in the room.
Jack folded his arms on the table. “So let’s talk about it.”
“But what if...” Maddie looked from one brother to the other. “What if it turns out Dad isn’t your biological father?”
“That’s a risk.” A risk about which Gray had thought long and hard. He didn’t like the sounds of Joe Earl or cotton to the idea of being kin.
“Getting a test seems disrespectful.” Violet nibbled her lower lip. “Especially to Mom. Shouldn’t we wait to hear it from our parents, Grayson?”
“You’re forgetting, Vi.” Jack’s voice was gentle, but firm. “I point-blank asked Mom who our father is, and she wouldn’t tell me.”
All of them knew it wasn’t easy for Jack to bring that up. The subsequent argument had led to his mother galloping off to a fall from her horse.
“Jack has a point.” Gray nodded toward his brother. “We can’t dismiss the fact that neither parent has been truthful with us. There have been too many secrets kept, even when we reached adulthood.”
From the looks they gave him, it was obvious the direction their thoughts were heading, even if no one voiced it. What if they didn’t find Dad? What if Belle never came out of the coma? It was getting easier to think of her as his mother, but would she ever be Mom?
“So you want us to wait, Violet?” He glanced from sister to sister. “What about you, Maddie?”
Jack leaned forward. “I don’t want to wait. Gray and I have the right to a definitive answer. The sooner we know, the better. I want to take a test.”
Jack didn’t know Brian as the man Grayson knew. While he might be intrigued with the prospect of Brian Wallace as a parent, there were still unanswered questions. Questions that no doubt held him back from
the affection and respect Grayson felt for their father. Questions such as why he’d go off and leave a son and daughter to be raised by a struggling single mom. From Jack’s perspective, Brian Wallace might be no better than Joe Earl.
“There’s no point in us both doing it, Jack. I can send in a sample for analysis. Same DNA.”
“Two would be more conclusive,” his twin countered. “And I say we open the results together, not on our own. We’re family now and what affects one of us affects both of us.”
“Violet and I’ll want to be there when you find out, too,” Maddie insisted. “Don’t leave us out. But you realize, don’t you, that if you’re Joe Earl’s sons, we’re only half siblings.”
Jack’s brow furrowed. “Full or half won’t change the way I feel about y’all. What do we have to do to make this happen?”
“You’re sure?” Gray studied his brother, grateful he wouldn’t face the moment of paternity truth alone.
“100 percent.”
“Then I’ll check on recommended testing facilities. We don’t need a fly-by-night operation that could get something wrong. I can have a swab kit sent to you. We take a cell sampling from inside our cheeks. Send those in.”
Maddie leaned forward. “How long does it take?”
“Normally within a couple of weeks if it’s not for court evidence.” Gray paused. “But it will take additional time because we can’t give Dad a swab kit. I’ll have to go to his place and get a hair sample for analysis. That type of testing will take longer.”
He glanced at Violet. “You’re awfully quiet over there. Are you on board with this?”
“It still seems like we’re casting a shadow on our parents. We’re insinuating that Mom cheated on our father.”
That had troubled him as well. “People aren’t perfect, sis.”
“No.” Her chin lifted obstinately. “But it’s Mom we’re talking about. I feel like we’re betraying her.”
Maddie slipped a consoling arm around her sister. “I think Jack and Grayson should do it. Otherwise they’ll always wonder, you know, if...if we don’t...”
If we don’t ever get answers from Brian and Belle.
“Violet?” Gray didn’t want to trample on her concerns. This needed to be a unanimous family decision.
After a long moment, she nodded. “I understand why it’s important for you and Jack to know the truth. So do it with my blessing.”
His gaze once again met that of Elise. Why was he still looking to her, seeking her approval, wanting to please her?
“Okay, then. I’ll get the ball rolling.”
Chapter Eighteen
“This is where you grew up, Officer Grayson?”
Cory peered out the SUV’s window at the brick schoolhouse.
“No, I grew up in Fort Worth and a town called Appleton. But this is a lot like the little town I lived in for a while.”
“I like it.”
Elise noticed on the drive to Grasslands that Gray directed his conversation entirely to Cory. She didn’t join in, certain he would much rather have taken her son to town with him alone to run the errand for Violet. But he’d politely extended the invitation, and she’d jumped at the chance to get away from the ranch this afternoon. Not that everyone wasn’t kind to her, but it was every bit as awkward as she’d anticipated it would be. Shortly after her initial welcome, it became apparent that Gray had managed to communicate to his siblings the true state of their relationship. Everyone was polite and friendly to her, but they clearly no longer viewed her as belonging. Jack, in particular, had kept his distance.
She repeatedly found herself returning to her room, stepping out on the porch, walking around the yard or playing with the dog. Cory and his playmate Darcy explored the trappings of a working ranch with Gray and various members of his family. But time hung on her own hands.
She suddenly leaned forward. “Oh, look at that cute house!”
No doubt startled at her delighted cry, Gray slowed the vehicle, searching for what had captured her attention. She pointed to the home on a corner lot. How she’d love to live in an adorable place like that. A fenced-in, white-frame house with a Victorian flavor. Lots of trees. Her geranium would be right at home on that wraparound porch.
And it was for sale.
“You like that?” His eyes held a cautious curiosity. “I noticed it when I was here last time, too.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. And Sheriff Cole—George—thinks I should buy it.”
She couldn’t keep the eagerness from her voice. “Are you going to?”
“It’s tempting. Just as nice on the inside as the outside.”
She continued to gaze with longing at the house as they slowly passed by. A town like Grasslands would be perfect to raise Cory in. Closer to home, too. Maybe nine hours rather than almost fourteen. She’d only been back once, for Duke’s funeral. The talk then had been of her coming home, until she’d learned the extent of her husband’s debts. The past two years had been such a blur, focused on keeping food on the table, a roof over their heads, and the family from knowing the truth about Duke.
If Grayson bought this darling house, would he rent it to her? But where would she work in a town this size? She’d done more than her fair share of waitressing back home. Tips were good with a summer crowd flocking to the cool, high elevation region, but leaner in the winter months. It was hard work at any rate and work that wouldn’t pay enough to support a single mom and her son. No health insurance either—which was the prime reason she’d jumped at the clinic position in Fort Worth.
“Does he want you to buy it for an investment or because he still wants you to join his department?”
“As a matter of fact, he accosted me early this morning when I came in to the care center to spend time with...my mother.” He gave a scoffing laugh. “Kinda rankles that a country cop thinks I should jump at the opportunity. What’s there to do here besides cruise around in a cowboy hat trying to look important behind a badge?”
“Sounds to me,” Elise put a teasing lilt into her tone, “like that’s your pride talking.”
His brows lowered, obviously not caring for her candid assessment.
“I’m serious. That’s how it comes across.” And it did. Like he was looking down on a small-town Podunk community from the lofty heights of a much-lauded city force. She’d come from a small town and knew there was more than enough to keep law enforcement busy. From the brooding look on Gray’s face, however, she should have kept her mouth shut.
“There’s a church!” Cory leaned forward to point. “Is that where we’re going?”
“That it is.” Gray pulled into a parking space in front of the steepled building and shut off the engine. Then he reached for a sack in the backseat. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“I want to take it in.” Cory was already unbuckling his seat belt. “Violet says Sadie is a nice lady. She gives kids candy.”
Gray glanced at her. “Is that okay with you?”
She wouldn’t let Cory set foot outside the yard and kept a close watch on him even there. But what would it hurt for him to feel some independence? Growing up in Canyon Springs she’d often walked to the grocery store or to Dix’s Woodland Warehouse to pick up something for her mother. City life and her own paranoia had forced her to curb Cory from naturally spreading his wings.
“It’s fine with me.”
In a flash her son was out the door to take the sack from Gray. But he didn’t wildly race to the church as she’d anticipated. Instead he marched along, chin lifted, to make the delivery with as much dignity as a six-year-old could muster.
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.” Gray settled himself into his seat. “Cory’s a great kid.”
He sounded almost as proud as she felt watching he
r son stride up the walkway and disappear inside the main door.
A smile tugged at Grayson’s lips. “I imagine that little guy will get a warmer welcome from Sadie than I did the last time I dropped something off.”
“Sadie. The church secretary that Maddie says has a crush on the pastor?”
“One and the same. From what I hear, though, it may be a mutual attraction, only neither can get up the courage to make a first move.”
“Maybe that’s for the best,” she said quietly. It would save them a lot of heartache.
She sneaked a glance at Grayson who studied the steering wheel as if it harbored the secrets of the universe. So handsome with his strong profile and sturdy jaw. But more important, he was a man with a heart as big as the Texas he called home. Why had God brought him into her life now? Why not five years from now? Ten? When she’d have had time to work through the fears that haunted her, the nightmares replaying in her sleep.
Only yesterday morning she’d awakened with a sense of peace that God was leading her into something so amazing she could never in her wildest dreams imagine it. But one phone call announcing a police officer’s life-threatening injuries and her world had fallen apart. She hated being this way. Hated how her crippling fears affected her son. How they had hurt Grayson. Why couldn’t he have been a grocer or insurance salesman?
But, unfortunately for her, he was born and bred to be a lawman.
* * *
“So...you don’t think there can be happily-ever-afters, Elise?” Gray spoke softly as he gazed through the windshield at the picturesque church, Elise’s take on Sadie and the pastor’s romance weighing on his heart.
“Maybe for some.”
“But not for us?”
“Grayson, let’s not discuss this. Please.” She fiddled with the zipper on her lightweight jacket. “I’m sorry my being here is making things awkward for you with your family. It was clear from Maddie and Violet’s welcome yesterday that they’d formed preconceptions about our relationship.”
“That’s my fault.” He continued to stare out the window. “I’d gotten ahead of myself.”