by Claire Adams
She’s biting her bottom lip and, although the stir in my own body is starting to break, hers is only beginning to hit its critical mass.
“Just keep going as long as you can,” she says. “It’ll be—” she takes in a sharp breath, “—enough. Just keep…”
She doesn’t continue, but she doesn’t have to, as I’m every bit as eager for her to reach that precipice as she is, and her body melts beneath me as she bites her lip again, her eyes open and fixed on mine until her mouth opens.
Mia’s breath catches in her throat, and I’m kissing her lips now as she starts to relax her body, her legs slowly easing off of my back and to the bed outside of mine.
I pull the rest of the way out of her and our bodies simply reverberate together a few minutes.
After a while, I lie down on the bed next to her and we kiss tenderly, if infrequently as we gaze at each other.
“Yeah,” she says, placing her hand easily against my cheek. “I think it’s safe to say that I like you.”
* * *
I wake up to a loud banging at my door.
“What?” I shout, not quite properly seated back in the realm of consciousness.
My eyes are still closed, but I can tell that it’s light outside.
It’s light outside.
My eyes shoot open to find morning coming through my window, illuminating the covered, yet naked body of Mia.
The door to my room is closed and locked, but it’s not like dad can’t get in here if he wants to.
“You’re going to be late for class, Ian!” he shouts. “Get out of bed. If you hurry, I can give you a ride!”
“Go on ahead, dad!” I call back. “I still have to get ready for the day.”
I look over at Mia, who’s not quite sure whether to stay as she is with her head above covers or to dive between the sheets and try to tunnel her way to safety through the mattress.
“It’s okay,” I whisper to her, “he almost never comes in here, mornings.”
“Very comforting,” she more mouths than says. She looks at the door and then back at me, saying, “I should go.”
“Better wait here a few minutes,” I tell her. “Try to go down the stairs now or try going back down the drain pipe and he’s bound to see you. My room’s right above the kitchen and when he’s not bugging me to get up, before work, he’s hovering over the coffee machine. Just hang out a minute and he’ll be—”
The lock clicks on my door and Mia pulls the covers over her head and tries to make her presence as indiscernible as possible as the door opens and my dad just lets himself in.
“What are you doing?” I shout, trying to give Mia an extra moment or two to get settled before my dad has time to really settle his focus on my bed.
“You’re going to be late, Ian,” dad says, “again.”
“I know,” I tell him. “I must have slept through my alarm.”
“Did you even set it?” he asks, and I’m trying to remember where all of Mia’s clothes ended up last night, because they’re sure as hell not on her body. “It doesn’t matter,” he says. “What matters is that yet again, you’re throwing away your responsibility just to placate your baser urges.”
For a second, I’m afraid he’s spotted Mia which, although I’m nearly certain he wouldn’t actually kill or injure either one of us, isn’t exactly the way I’d like to start the day today, but he shifts his gaze out the window and begins again.
“You know,” he says, “we didn’t always have a nice house a good neighborhood. I had to work for it, just like how you’re going to have to work for the things you want out of your life.”
“Would you mind going out so I can get dressed?” I ask, but he doesn’t make any indication that he’s even heard me.
“I see a lot of potential in you, Ian. I know we’ve been butting heads a lot lately, and it’s because I see such potential that I’ve been so hard on you recently,” he says, gazing out the window as if taking in the view of some expansive empire. “I don’t begrudge you a little fun while you’re in college, and I don’t mind you even taking some time, preferably on the weekends, to indulge your hobbies, but I think the hobbies are starting to look like a future to you when that future’s on the other side of law school.”
“Dad, I’d really appreciate it if we could talk to this after I’ve had a chance to get dressed,” I tell him.
“I have to go, Ian,” he says. “I don’t have time to wait for you to decide to crawl out of bed. You’re running out of time, too, you know. If you keep putting distraction before your studies, you’re not going to end up in a good law school and you’ll end up as a public defendant for tweakers in Nobody Cares, Michigan, while someone else has made themselves very comfortable in the life that was supposed to be yours.”
“My life is whatever life I choose to live,” I tell him, feeling a little like the teenage version of myself, though I don’t remember having a naked girl pressed next to me beneath the covers too often back then. “It’s not that I’m ungrateful for everything you’ve done, but I’m not going to live your life.”
“The thing I’m starting to realize about your generation is that you think gratitude is the same thing as saying thanks,” he tells me. “Gratitude is recognizing that someone is going out of their way for you. Anyway,” he says, “I’ll go so you can get dressed. Wouldn’t want to be late, would you?”
He leaves the room, not bothering to close it on his way out.
After about a minute has passed and I haven’t heard anything that would indicate he’s still upstairs, I get out from under the covers and grab a loose shirt to hold in front of my more private sections, and I close the door.
The lock clicks back in place and Mia cautiously peeks out from underneath the covers, mouthing, “Is he gone?”
I walk back over to her, letting the shirt drop as I look for something clean to put on for the day. “He’s still here in the house, but I don’t think he’s upstairs.” I look at the clock. “He should be on his way out of here before too long.”
As if on cue, I can hear the familiar sound of my dad’s car starting and, when the sound of the engine fades into the distance, my blood pressure starts to return to a less alarming level.
“All right,” I tell her. “I guess that’s it. We can get dressed and get out of here.”
“Just a minute,” Mia says. “Come over here for a second. I have a question to ask you.”
“Go ahead and ask,” I tell her. “He’s gone. We can talk as much as we want.”
“Just come here,” she says.
“Okay,” I tell her, though I’m slow to act as I’m taking in the vision of Mia in the light of morning.
She’s still holding the top of the blanket tight against her breast, but the view couldn’t feel more intimate as she looks up at me, her hair out of place and her lips pulled back into a knowing smile.
“Come on,” she says. “Sit down a sec.”
I go to sit, but I’ve no more than hit the bed when Mia makes her move, wrapping her arms around me in a playful half-tackle, and we fall off the bed onto the floor.
“You know,” she says, straddling me, her hands holding my wrists, “your dad’s right: You really need to stop being late to class so often. That said,” she continues and smirks before giving me a quick peck on the lips, “it’s too late to make that change today.”
Now she’s kissing me deeply, even deeper, it seems, than she did last night.
It’s looking like I’m going to miss my first class entirely.
Chapter Eleven
The Slow Crash
Mia
It’s been a long time since I’ve been this excited about, well, anything.
Things between Ian and me may have gotten off to a bit of a rocky start, but I think the course has been corrected. It’s all I can do to wait for my last class to be over.
I’m meeting Ian at the skate park and, come hell or compound fractures, I’m going to help him get comfortable dr
opping in. Really, it’s about the only thing left I’m finding unattractive about Ian.
I get a text from Abs, asking what I’m up to, but I’m already running behind schedule—my last professor kept us after to talk about the implications of gravity and other forces in the near-void of space. It would have made a little more sense if he was an astronomy professor or a physics professor or basically any science professor, but I guess people in the English department get bored from time to time—so I respond with a quick, “Running late. Talk to you later.”
I’m out in front of the humanities building in time to see the taillights of my bus a couple blocks down.
Great.
Oh well, I still have one idea.
“Sorry about that. Professor’s driving me crazy. What are you up to?” I write Abs.
Maybe it’s not the coolest thing for a friend to use another friend for a ride to go spend some time with a third party who the first friend had sex with last night and twice this morning, especially after that first friend told the second friend that she, the first friend, that is, was in some kind of rush and couldn’t talk, thus blowing off the second friend, but I have to see Ian and I have to see him now.
As far as my brain is concerned, Ian is a drug called oxytocin and he’s pretty much settled in for the foreseeable future.
The phone vibrates in my hand and I pull up the new message. “Not so busy after all, eh?” Abby writes.
“I was running to try to catch my bus,” I write. “I didn’t make it.”
The favor’s implied in the explanation, and I still haven’t settled on an explanation for leaving Abby’s house after she went to sleep, so this should be a pretty entertaining response.
It’s not that I mind walking, but the skate park is nowhere near the university and I don’t know how long Ian’s got before his nerves start getting the better of him and he decides to back out of vert practice today.
As much as I love skating and skating culture, I’m not an expert when it comes to telling someone how to do anything on a board, much less something like prepping one’s self for a vert competition. That being said, I do have another specialty that might prove to be just as valuable: the human mind.
I know Ian probably thinks he’s something special because he got my head with the condom wrapper thing last night, but when it comes to hardcore psychology, I’ve got the bigger assets.
My phone buzzes. The new text reads, “That blows. Wanna do something?”
I sigh and look around, hoping to spot an acquaintance, only to realize that I really don’t have that many of them to choose from and none of them seem to be in this general area at the moment.
I write, “I told Ian I’d help him with a thing down at the skate park. I don’t suppose I could weasel a ride from you, could I?”
We’ll just have to see how that’s going to go over. Until then, I’m not going to let Ian know that anything’s changed. He didn’t really seem that enthusiastic about going back to the park in broad daylight—at least as far as that one little area of the park with the really long drop in goes.
My phone buzzes and I check the message. It reads, “You know the toll for taxi service.”
Good. She’s still trying to bilk me for cat food money. There’s no surer sign that things are status quo when I’m asking Abs a favor than a play for free cat food. It’s her favor currency.
“How much do I already owe you?” I write back.
Some favors, naturally, are smaller than others and don’t always necessitate the purchase of a full bag. That being the case, Abs measures her favors in ounces.
A one-ounce favor is something like passing the salt where she’s just as likely as not to count it.
Most favors tend to be more in the three-to-five ounce area. This accounts for everything from, “Hey, could you run to the kitchen and grab me a soda?” coming in at three ounces of cat food and, “I’m short on tampons, could I get one from you?” at a solid five ounces worth of cat food.
The good news here is that Abs only ever buys cat food in quantities of five pounds or more. That being the case, a person such as myself has eighty ounces to work with before any repayment ever need be made.
Unfortunately, she can be a little stingy when she’s feeling unappreciated, and it usually comes out in the form of extreme favor tariffs.
The biggest payout I ever gave was a result of borrowing Abby’s car for a couple of weeks while my dad was out of town. For that, I agreed to a twenty ounce fee. When I ended up running her car into a thankfully-empty phone booth three days into that rental period, well, I’m not sure I’ve paid off that particular tab yet.
My phone buzzes.
The message reads, “I think we’ve whittled it down to six or seven forty-pounders. Call it seven and tack one more on and you’ve got yourself a ride.”
I write back, “Why so steep?”
I’m only asking for a ride. I can see her tacking a few extra ounces onto the bill for choosing to hang out with Ian instead of her, but a whole forty-pound bag is ridiculous. I don’t know if I can live in that kind of favor economy.
She writes back, “Take it or leave it.”
This is so annoying.
* * *
“All right, do you know what happened last time?” I ask.
“I lost my focus and my confidence?” he asks.
“That’s right,” I tell him. It helps that I’ve been repeating that to him for the last twenty minutes. “Try running through it in your mind again.”
He closes his eyes and I look down over the park.
More than anything, I’m trying to give Ian a few seconds’ break from the small crowd that’s grown to watch the Incredible Falling Man. I can understand the allure of people falling, don’t get me wrong: seeing people fall is one of life’s most precious treasures, but at some point, it’s just mean-spirited.
“Okay, are you ready?” I ask.
“I’m still falling off at the bottom every time,” he says. “If I can’t even get my own imagination to—”
“We’ve been over this,” I tell him. “You’re expecting something and, because it’s what you’re expecting, you’re getting it, over and over. Try expecting something else: expect that you’ll drop in and roll out without a problem.”
The advice is a little pop-psychology for my tastes, but I’m seriously running out of ideas with Ian. He cannot get past his own image of failure. Every time he looks like he might get it, he either comes off his board or overcorrects in some bizarre way he’s never been able to sufficiently explain to me and crashes.
The last two times he’s managed to run out, much to the chagrin of the still-growing audience. If I can convince him that running out is somehow an improvement, maybe I can get him past his mental block.
“All right,” I tell him, “you’re doing great and you’re making progress—I know you may not see it right now, but you really are. You haven’t started bleeding once.”
“Do you think they’re taking bets?” he asks.
“I haven’t seen any money changing hands, but we have been standing up here for about five minutes, so maybe they’re just waiting for your next run,” I tell him. “If it helps at all, if they are taking bets, I’d put five bucks on you nailing this thing in the next three tries.”
“Really?” he asks, every inch of his posture in some way drooping.
I gotta feel bad for the poor guy.
“Yeah,” I tell him, “really. So, why don’t you give it another three tries and we’ll see how quick I’d win.”
“Okay,” he says. “I got this shit.”
“That’s right,” I tell him.
After the excruciating and rather public collection of humiliations he’s racked up today, I don’t think I’m going to chastise him about the language for a while. It’s just simple mercy.
“Okay,” he says. “I’m going to show everyone down there that I’ve got this. This isn’t a problem.”
“You
show ‘em,” I tell him, remembering the heights of ecstasy he’s brought me to in the last twenty-four hours to refill some of the patience and understanding I’m presently hemorrhaging.
“All right,” he says.
He just stands there.
“Ian?” I ask.
“Yeah?” he returns.
“You’re not going,” I tell him.
“I know,” he says. “I’m just waiting until the mood is right.”
I just purse my lips and nod. If that’s what it’s going to take for him to take another run so that we can be one step closer to putting this whole grating process behind us, then that’s what it’s going to take.
“Okay,” he says. “I’m on it.”
“I’ll tell you what,” I say after he stands there another twenty or thirty seconds, “you keep trying and I’ll make it worth your while.”
“What?” he asks, shaking his head a little.
“Did I pull you away from something?” I ask.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “It’s just, don’t you think they’d have better things to do with their time than hang around here waiting for me to fall on my ass?”
“I’m serious,” I tell him. “Give it three more tries, and I will make sure you are very handsomely rewarded.”
He looks over at me, his eyes wide at first, but after a few seconds, I see his eyes drift from my face downward and I finally know that he’s paying attention.
“Yeah?” he asks. “How so?”
“You’ll have to find out,” I tell him. “It’s a surprise, but I can promise you will like it.”
I have nothing planned, but I’m sure I can throw together some sort of sexual favor he’ll find as suitable reward for his efforts.
“Okay,” he says. “Three tries.”
“Don’t think of them as tries, think of them as opportunities to practice your new skill,” I tell him. “Just think of it like you’ve already done it a million times before. You know what to do, right?” I ask.