'Cindy, she left the babies alone to walk me to the elevator.'
'Are you sure, Daddy? Maybe there was someone in the back and you didn't notice.'
'Oh.' Decker hesitated. 'Shows you what I know. Is there someone in back now?'
It was Cindy's turn to hesitate. 'Well, Darlene kind of told me to wait for her specifically because she didn't want the babies left alone. She and Lily - that's her newest trainee - they were collecting the babies from the moms after the twelve o'clock feeding. It's taking a little longer because Darlene volunteered to help out in the adjoining nursery. They've been short-handed lately 'cause of budget cuts.'
'So Darlene left you in charge?'
Cindy's eyes went to the ceiling. 'She's right here on the floor, Daddy. I have her beeper but it isn't even necessary. She comes back every few minutes. Says she'll finish up
real soon. She's doing the best she can.'
'Cindy, you're a peach, but Darlene doesn't know that. You could be anybody. Did you ever see Marie leave the babies alone?'
Cindy shook her head. 'I guess Darlene is very trusting.'
'It's dumb. She's asking for a tragedy and a lawsuit.'
Decker put his hands in his pockets. 'I'm very grateful that you're watching Hannah. And truthfully, yes, Marie does tweak my nose. If Rina weren't so... so laid-up, I'd check my whole family out of here. But as of now, I'm stuck. So if Mrs Elias wants to take over from you for a while, let her. Marie'll probably be more tolerant of her than you.'
'I ask you, Daddy, is that right?'
'No it isn't right, but frankly I don't care. I'm looking for what'll work. So help me out. You can come back when Mrs Elias has to go home to tend to the boys. Okay?'
Cindy nodded.
'And please don't make problems. I want you here in the nursery, Cindy, because I do trust you.'
'Thanks, Dad. It's nice to hear that,'
'You're welcome.' Decker rubbed his eyes. 'Go burp your sister. Give her a kiss for me. Tell her I love her and hope to burp her very soon.'
'She'll be waiting for you, Dad. Sorry if I'm being a bit of a pain.'
'Nah, you're never a pain. You're a great kid, Cynthia. The best. God knows, your mother and I have had our differences, but she did a fabulous job.'
'You had a little to do with it.'
'Not as much as I should have.' Decker raised his brows. 'Probably why you turned out so good.'
After she vomited, she felt much better. Mack was nice -helping her into a chair, then wiping her mouth. He took out a Rubbermaid quart container and peeled off the blue lid. Dipping a tablespoon into the hard plastic, he fished up some tan mush.
'Open up.'
'I'm sick.'
'Open up, Tandy. You need your calories.'
She didn't move.
'You're really infuriating, you know?'
Mack prised her jaws apart with his thumb and forefinger. She was fighting him, but it was a losing battle. Such unbelievable strength in just two fingers. She couldn't help but be awed. He force-fed her some mush, pushing the oversized spoon into her mouth. In her different life, she would have gagged. But now she was in control.
Pureed chicken. Wasn't half bad.
'Come on, Tandy, open all the way up.'
Passively, she complied.
'That's a good girl.'
Another spoonful.
'How much do I have to eat?'
'The whole thing.'
'Mack—'
'If you want to look right, you have to eat right. Now shut up and open up!'
She paused. 'I don't think that's physically possible.'
Mack laughed and fed her another spoonful. 'You did fair tonight. I've seen you do better.'
'I wasn't at my best.'
'Something on your mind?'
She shrugged.
'What?'
'It's just work, I guess.'
'Bitches giving you problems?'
'Always.'
'Open up, Tandy. I refuse to let you leave until you've had your proper caloric intake. How the hell are you going to build muscle if you don't give your body fuel?'
'A month ago, Leek put me on eight hundred calories a day for two weeks.'
'A month ago, you were working for the cut. We're not working for the cut right now, Tandy. We're going for bulk.'
She sighed but obeyed. After she swallowed, she said, 'All this back-and-forth. One minute I feel like a pig, the next minute I'm starving myself.'
'Hey, are you going to let your body control you, or are you going to control your body?'
She was silent.
'Know what I'm saying, Tandy?'
'I know. Rest assured I'm in total control.'
'No one said this was easy. You want easy, don't come here. Go to the Golden Hotshot Spa and pay a million dollars a day to do it all wrong.'
'I'm not looking for easy, Mack.' She licked her lips. 'I've never looked for easy. Easy is unhealthy. Maybe it is my work. My other work. I do so much, and no one ever says anything. They take me for granted.'
'The docs, too?'
'No, the docs love me. They know I'm great. It's the
people I work with... the nurses... the head nurses.'
'They're just jealous, Tandy. They can't stand the fact that you know more. Probably galls them that you look so good, too.'
She nodded.
Mack presented her with another spoonful. 'So don't pay any attention to them, okay? They're just laying a trip on you.'
'Sometimes I wish I didn't have to work.'
'So move in with me or Leek or Eric. We have group grunts. They really get the competitive spirit going.' He paused. 'We could set you up with some easy nursing clients. No bureaucracy and lots of side benefits.'
Right, Tandy thought. She knew all about the side benefits a la Leek. Penny ante stuff. Such mundane fools. 'Not for me. But thanks for the offer.'
'Welcome. Open.'
She swallowed the puree. It tasted like gritty soup.
'Besides, my work is important, Mack. People rely on me. I just don't get any appreciation from the people I work with.'
'Like I said, they're jealous.'
'But my patients... I'm really important to them.'
'I can dig it.'
'The doctors don't have the time. It all falls on the nurses.'
Mack began scraping the sides of the container. 'People at the hospital ever notice how good you look?'
Tandy twitched. He didn't understand. Talking to Mack was like talking to wood. But at least he was real. She knew that much.
'Uniforms hide a lot.'
'Uniforms hide these?'
He squeezed her breasts. She yelped with pain.
'God, don't do that! I'm so sore.'
Gently, he began to touch her, walking his fingers over her breast tissue. But it was more medical than erotic.
'You definitely are swollen.'
'I'm really going to feel it tomorrow.'
'That's okay. You can only tolerate pain if you have pain.'
'No more.' She pushed aside the spoon and stood. 'No more. I've got to go to work. Did you get it?'
'Yeah. I mixed it with a little something to take the edge off. I mean, you're still going to feel sore - gotta feel the soreness - but not like a truck ran over you. How do you want it?'
'Usual, I guess.'
She sighed and dropped on her hands and knees. She felt him pulling off her panties.
'God, you have a wonderful ass.'
'You mean a wonderful pincushion.'
She felt him kissing one of her buns, running his mitt-sized hand over her firm flesh. Mack's voice had dropped to a whisper. 'It's been a long time since I've had a woman.'
'I can't, Mack. Besides, it won't work. You know that.'
'What a loss..." His voice was low and wolfish. 'For both of us.'
Kill him.
Tandy jerked her head up, her eyes snapping open. The suddenness of her motion startled Mack.
&nbs
p; 'You all right, Tandy?'
Beads of sweat ran down her face. The low one. Or was it? Did she really hear it? Tricks upon tricks upon—'
'Tandy?'
'I'm...' She took a deep breath and let out a forced laugh. 'I'm... fine. Let's get on with it. I've got to go.'
Gritting her teeth, she didn't even flinch as she felt the bite of the hypodermic. She rose slowly, her muscles
aching. Like an old woman, she hunched her way to the corner, pulled the uniform off the coatrack and stepped into the white dress.
She looked in the mirror, straightened her collar and tugged on the hemline. Her developed chest was pulling the dress upward, showing off her long, shapely legs. She flexed and pointed her toes several times, watching her calves expand and contract with each movement.
So graceful. Like a ballet dancer.
Her face had lost some of its color. She steadied her hands and pulled out blush, dabbing her cheeks with a touch of red. She dropped the compact back in her purse and pulled out a brush. Gathering her hair into a ponytail, eyes on her reflection, she knew she was beautiful. It wasn't Mack's fault. Mack just couldn't help himself.
Again she straightened her posture. She was now a model of efficiency in her uniform. She knew she could inspire trust.
That was important. Trust.
She glanced at her watch.
Time to go to work.
Darlene edged the last of the layettes into its space in Nursery J, then placed her gloved hand on her hips. Her eyes traveled to the babies, ten of them - two blacks, four Hispanics, three white and one Asian - as varied as LA's own population. Each had their own personality, even at this age, but all of them were as precious as an angel's song.
Not that they sounded like angels. Baby Girl Rodriguez and Baby Girl Jackson were squalling up a storm. Now Baby Boy Yamata... there was a good baby. Quiet. Like his parents.
Squalling up a storm.
The expression made her smile. No one knew squalls like she knew squalls. The late November winds on the lake... a cold so bone-chilling, it froze your teeth numb.
Baby Girl Decker was missing... probably still with Cindy in the back room. She thought about Cindy - a real good kid. Not too many sisters were that devoted. Not a lot of devoted people, period. That's what Darlene liked about nursing. You gave to others, actually helped them. Helped them more than the doctors, if the truth be known.
She watched the infants for a few minutes without doing anything, observing wide-open mouths and scrunched-up eyes. Baby girl Rodriguez had cried herself lobster red. Fingers balled up into tight fists as she cried to
be held. Too bad she only had two arms. Shame women weren't born octopuses.
Rubbing her arms, she threw a furtive glance over her shoulder. Slowly, her hands reached toward Baby Girl Rodriguez. Teeny little thing. Darlene had cooked chickens that weighed more. But the baby was fully formed and doing well. Cute coffee-bean eyes hidden by locks of silky black hair. The baby quietened as Darlene nestled her into her bosom, patted the little back. Tiny, fragile bones. All the babies so small, yet perfect human beings. The wonderment of new life. It never failed to amaze her.
She undid BG Rodriguez's blanket, and the cold blast of air suddenly sent the little girl into another episode of hysterics. Quickly, the nurse took the unclad baby over to the scales.
'Now this'll only take a minute, honey,' Darlene cooed as she slid the poise over the indicator numbers. BG Rodriguez was still a little under two kilos: she'd need at least another couple of days of hospitalization before she'd weigh enough to go home.
'Stop your bellyaching. We ain't even at the hard part yet.'
With a firm grip, Darlene lifted the infant from the scales, placed her on the table and rewrapped her in her blanket. The baby's loud outburst quietened to whimpers. On the table was a tray of instruments and a stack of charts. Placing a firm hand on the infant's stomach, Darlene scanned through the pile until she found BG Rodriguez's records. She flipped through the papers, looking for additional instructions or orders from the pediatrician. Finding nothing of significance, she wrote in the time and the latest weighing.
The baby was now fully awake, black eyes trying to focus, legs kicking under the covers. Darlene chucked her
chin, then carefully liberated a little foot from the swaddle of the blanket.
Tiny foot - as small and soft as a ladyfinger. Little red toes.
Again Darlene took a quick peek over her shoulder. She felt her shoulders tighten as she reached for the instrument tray. It was always tense with the first one. Holding the foot firmly in her grasp, the charge nurse held her breath as she jabbed a razor-sharp needle into the pad of the baby's heel.
Decker's own snoring woke him up. He heard himself snort and grunt, then he shook his head in a weak attempt to dislodge his stupor. His bones hurt; his muscles ached with rigidity. He managed to open his eyes, light flooding his retinas. It took him a moment to focus, and when he did he was shocked to see Rina's eyes upon him. Quickly, he sat up, swinging his stiff legs over the edge of the cot. He took her hand and kissed it.
'Morning, darling.' He looked at the wall clock. Five fifty-two - morning only in a technical sense. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. It was hot and dry. 'How do you feel?'
Rina's lids fluttered, but she kept her eyes open. 'How's... our baby?'
'Gorgeous!' Decker tried to sound upbeat. 'Beautiful, just like you.'
'Tell me.'
'Well...' Decker cleared his throat. 'She's big and robust and beautiful and alert. Definitely the best kid in the whole hospital.'
Rina's lips formed a weak smile. 'I want to hold her. Hold my baby.' Her eyes grew wet. 'But I can't, can I?'
'Of course you can hold her. You'll spend hours holding her. But first you've got to recuperate.'
'From the surgery,' Rina whispered.
'Yes, from the surgery,' Decker said. 'Go back to sleep, honey. It's the best thing for you now.'
Rina turned away, then faced him again. 'Something's...' She swallowed hard. 'Something's wrong, Peter.'
•I'll call the nurse—'
'No,' Rina cried hoarsely. 'That's not what I meant.'
Decker felt his head spin. 'Doctor says you're going to be fine, Rina. But you need to rest... relax. The only thing you should be concerned about is getting your strength back. Now I'm ordering you to close your eyes and go back to sleep.'
Rina attempted a deep breath, her face contorting from the effort. 'I'm not bleeding normal. Not like the others...' She winced. 'And the miscarriages, too. It's not normal.'
Decker squelched a wave of nausea. 'Rina, you're so tired. Go to sleep, honey.' His voice was making tinny echoes in his ear. 'I'll be here when you wake up. You'll feel better after you sleep.'
'Your face.' Her voice was so raspy. 'You're not looking at me. Tell me.'
Decker couldn't talk, paralyzed by exhaustion and fright.
What's wrong with me, Peter?'
'Nothing's wrong, honey.'
Immediately, he regretted the false words. He had to tell her. He couldn't let her think she was the same as before, only to have her psyche destroyed later on. She'd never forgive him. As much as he dreaded the task, he knew he had to confess. He forced himself to look in her eyes. They'd become deep blue pools.
'I love you, baby.'
'What is it, Peter?'
He kissed her hand again, then whispered, 'Rina, you had a hysterectomy. That's the reason you're not bleeding normally.'
She didn't react.
After some false starts, he finally found his voice. 'Rina, we have a lovely, lovely family. A beautiful new baby... a real gift from God. We have to remember that.'
She said nothing, her eyes resting blankly on his face.
'I know how you must feel... no, I don't know how you feel. I don't know what I'm talking about.'
He kissed her hand again.
'Rina, the truth is, I'm an old man. I mean, who wants to be playing sand-lot
ball when you're fifty, right?'
Her expression reflected his stupidity. He knew he should just shut up, but the jitters kept his vocal cords humming overtime.
Faye Kellerman - Decker 06 - Grievous Sin Page 7