by Jean Ure
“You’re wasting your time. She’s away and he’s out with his girlfriend.”
But he wasn’t. When we got back to Shay’s place, her dad was there and already had a face like thunder.
“Where in God’s name have you been? What do you think you’re doing, going out at this time of night?”
“Vandalising my property,” said the witch woman, “that’s what they’re doing!”
Shay’s dad was horribly angry. I mean, like, really, really angry. Cold and cutting, and his lips going into a thin line.
“What is the matter with you?” He took Shay by the shoulders and shook her. “Do you do this just to spite us? Don’t you have everything you could possibly want? Everything that money could buy? Dear God! How many more times?”
Shay just stood, saying nothing. Needless to say, I said nothing, either. I couldn’t have, even if anyone had wanted me to. My teeth were clattering and I felt like I was about to be sick.
Shay’s dad had started to shout. “Are you some kind of delinquent? Do we have to have you put away?”
“Yeah, get someone else to deal with the mess,” said Shay.
Honestly! I don’t know how she dared. Her dad drew a deep breath, like he was trying very hard to control himself, and turned to the witch woman. Stiffly, he told her that of course he’d see that all the graffiti was removed from her wall and he thanked her for not going to the police. She said, “Well, my son wanted me to, but seeing as I know you…I thought maybe you’d rather deal with it yourself.” Shay’s dad said grimly that he most certainly would.
“You can rest assured of that.” And he gave Shay this really black look as he said it, so I knew she was going to be in big, BIG trouble. And so was I. Being an accomplice is just as bad as actually committing the crime; we’d both have been locked up if the old woman’s son had had his way. I would’ve died if that had happened! I’d have been so ashamed. I was ashamed enough as it was, cos I’d never done anything like that in my life before. I’d never done anything criminal at all, except for stealing the lollipops in Woolworths, but that was when I was tiny. And that was just, like, being naughty. Spraying skulls and crossbones on the side of someone’s wall, that was serious.
Shay’s dad told us to “Wait in there, both of you, while I get something to compensate this good woman,” and he pushed us quite roughly into the front room and shut the door. He was angry.
I whispered, “What’s going to happen?”
Shay shrugged her shoulders. “Dunno. Who cares? You don’t have to be involved! It’s not like you did anything.”
“But I was an accomplice,” I said.
“Yeah, but you didn’t know what was going on. I’ll tell ’em! Don’t worry.”
“But w-what about you?”
“Doesn’t matter about me. I can look after myself.”
“You shouldn’t have come back!” I said.
“Had to,” said Shay. “Couldn’t leave you on your own.” And then she said such a curious thing, she said, “Wouldn’t have done it for anyone else. Just for you. cos you’re different.”
I shall always remember Shay saying that. I wished I’d asked her how! “How am I different?” At the time I was too worried sick even to think of it. Shay honestly didn’t seem in the least bit bothered, but I was petrified. I’ve never been so scared in all my life! Shay couldn’t understand it. She said, “Oh, come on, Spice, you didn’t do anything. What are you scared of?”
What I was scared of was what Mum and Dad were going to say. Shay still couldn’t understand it. She said, “Don’t see why they should say anything. Don’t have to know, do they? Who’s gonna tell ’em? Not me!”
“But I c-can’t let you take all the blame,” I said.
“Why not?”
“Well, because…because we’re friends!”
“It’s because we’re friends,” said Shay, “that I’m gonna keep you out of it. It’s what friends do…they look after each other. Anyway, it’s not gonna help me any, you getting into trouble. Prob’ly just make it worse.”
So then I thought that perhaps she was right, and Mum and Dad need never know, and this cheered me up a bit and made me feel stronger, until Shay’s dad reappeared and snapped, “Right, young woman!” He meant me. “Let’s get you back home.”
“She’s staying over,” said Shay.
“Not any more, she’s not. She’s going home, and you and I are going to have a serious talk. Come along! The pair of you.”
“Don’t see why I have to go,” said Shay.
“You’ll do as you’re told! Get a move on.”
“I don’t want to,” said Shay. “I want to stay where I am.”
“You really think I’d be fool enough to go off and leave you here to get up to heaven knows what?”
“Yeah, why not?” said Shay. “It’s what you usually do.”
“What I may have done in the past, my girl, and what’s going to happen in the future, are two entirely different things. Leave you here and risk getting back to find the place burnt to a cinder? No, thank you! I know what you’re capable of. Now, shift yourself!”
We drove home in total silence. Shay was in such a sulk she didn’t even say goodbye to me. Her dad asked me if I wanted him to see me to my front door, but although I was scared of using the lift at that time of night, I was even more scared of him coming with me and talking to Mum, so I said that I’d be all right. He said, “You sure?” and I said “Yes!” and shot out of the car before he could change his mind.
It was nearly midnight when I rang the bell. Mum and Dad would be in bed; they might even be asleep. But I couldn’t stand outside all night! I rang and rang, and then called out through the letter box, “Mum, it’s me!” If I hadn’t called she might never have come, cos everyone’s, like, really nervous once it gets dark. A lot of mugging and stuff goes on. Even though I’d called out, Mum still only opened the door a tiny crack and kept the chain on. And then she saw that it really was me, and she went “Ruth?” and took the chain off and quickly pulled me inside. “What are you doing here? I thought you were staying over! You haven’t quarrelled, have you? They didn’t let you come home by yourself?”
“N-no,” I said. “Sh-shay’s dad brought me.”
“But why? Ruth! Why? What’s going on?”
That was when I burst into tears and told her the whole story.
“I knew it,” said Mum. “I knew something like this would happen. Didn’t I say all along? There was just something about that girl?”
“It wasn’t her fault,” I sobbed. “The woman accused her!”
“That’s no excuse. And now look what you’ve done! You’ve got your dad up.”
Dad had appeared at the end of the passage. “What is it?” he said. “What’s all the rumpus?”
“It’s all right,” said Mum. “It’s just Ruth come back. Get to bed, now,” she told me. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”
“Not in front of Lisa!” I begged.
Mum agreed, not in front of Lisa. It was a bit of a comfort, but only a little bit.
Next morning, Mum shut the girls and Sammy away and we had our talk. Me and Mum and Dad. Mum said that she obviously couldn’t stop me speaking to Shay at school, “But I don’t want you seeing her out of school any more. I don’t even want you ringing her. I don’t want you having anything to do with her! Do you understand?”
I nodded, miserably.
“I want you to promise me,” said Mum. “On your honour!”
I had to promise; what else could I do?
“It’s for your own good,” said Mum. “A girl like that, she’s a really bad influence. It bothers me that you’ll still be with her at school.”
Mum needn’t have worried. Shay didn’t come into school on Monday; she wasn’t there all the rest of the week. Jenice Berry, who bunked off whenever she felt like it, said that she’d seen her hanging about in the shopping centre. And then, the following week, she came up to me and said, “Wel
l, have I got news for you! Your friend Shayanne Sugar’s gone and got herself nicked.” Karina, who was there at my elbow, immediately squealed, “What for? What was she doing?”
“Stealing.” Jenice said it with relish; you could tell she was really enjoying herself. “In HMV. I was in there and I saw her being taken away. I don’t reckon she’ll be back!”
She never was. That night when I was brought home in disgrace was the last time I ever saw her. I did so long to know what had happened to her! I begged Mum to let me ring her, but Mum stood firm.
“It’s best you just forget her,” she said.
But how could I? I’ll never forget Shay, as long as I live! When I’m grown up, and have passed all my exams, and have become a doctor working in a hospital – cos that is what I’m going to do – it will be all thanks to Shay. If it hadn’t been for her, I’d just have given up.
I’ve puzzled and puzzled why she ever bothered with me. I can still remember, right at the beginning, when she told me that maths was not her favourite subject, and I said how it wasn’t mine, either, and she said, “Well, that’s one thing we have in common.” But we didn’t really have anything in common. Not really. Not even maths! Shay was good at maths. She was good at lots of things, but it was like she had this auto-destruct button inside her which she just couldn’t resist pressing. If ever it looked like she might be going to do something people would approve of, where they might say “Well done!” or “Good work!” she immediately had to go and press the button – BOOM! – so it all blew up in her face. Like if one week she got an A for her homework it seemed the following week she’d just have to get a D, or even an E. Or even, sometimes, no mark at all, when she’d filled the pages with her big angry scribble.
Shay could have got As practically all the time if she’d wanted, and I could never understand why she didn’t. I think now that maybe she didn’t understand, either, or that she did understand but there just wasn’t anything she could do about it, and that’s why she got so cross whenever I tried asking her. And cross when I let people like Julia get to me. It was like I had to use my brain to make up for her not using hers. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to use hers; she just couldn’t let herself. Maybe it was her way of getting back at her mum and dad for the way they treated her. That’s the only thing I can think of.
I tried explaining all this to Mum. I so desperately didn’t want Mum to think badly of Shay! I told her about Shay’s mum and dad, and how they used to go away and leave her on her own, sometimes for days and days. Mum was quite shocked. “I didn’t know that,” she said. “That’s terrible!” And then she suddenly hugged me, which is something that Mum doesn’t do all that often; I mean, she just doesn’t have the time.
She said, “Oh, Ruth, I know things haven’t been easy for you, but we’ll try to make them better. We’ll get things sorted! It’s not fair, putting all the burden on you, just because you’re the oldest.”
I don’t know why Mum felt she had to apologise. It’s not her fault if Dad’s sick and can’t work and I was born first. I told her this. I said, “I’d rather have you as a mum than have a mum like Shay’s!” I think that made her happy cos she kissed me – which is something else she doesn’t have time to do, usually – and said, “You’re a good girl! I’ll make it up to you. I promise! I won’t let the others interfere when you want to do your homework.”
She doesn’t, either! She shoos them away and tells them to “Be quiet. Your sister’s working.” Ooh, it makes such a difference! They creep off as meek as mice and it means that I’m able to concentrate. I still go to the library sometimes, though. I’ve joined a homework club, which is fun, as you get to meet lots of people. The kids at school, they’ve mostly stopped bothering me. Just now and again the two Js try it on, like it’s a sort of habit they can’t break, but nobody takes much notice of them any more. Including me! The other day that horrible boy, Brett Thomas, told them to belt up. He shouted, “Knock it off, I’m sick of it!” Maybe he’s not quite as horrible as I thought he was.
Actually, nothing is – as horrible, I mean. Things are getting better all the time! I had a long talk with Varya, the day we went back for the autumn term. I’ve discovered that she’s really nice.
Her English has hugely improved, it’s almost as good as mine! This is because I’m helping her. We hang out together and I give her lessons. Mum and Dad have put in for a new flat from the Council, one with more rooms, and if we get it, which Mum seems to think we might, I could have a room all to myself! Hooray! Varya could then come and stay with me and that would be neat, as I’ve already been to stay with her twice. I’d really love to invite her back.
One morning, about a week ago, a card came through the letter-box with my name on it. It was from Shay!
Mum didn’t try keeping it from me. She said, “Here, it’s for you. I haven’t read it.” It didn’t really say very much; just a few words, in Shay’s big bold writing. But at least she’d written!
Wotcher, Spice! They’ve got me banged up, boo hoo! Think I’m too dangerous to be let out with all you law-abiding lot. Hope you’re working hard and giving the blobs what for. YOU’D BETTER BE. See yal – S.
I asked Mum if I could write back to her. There wasn’t any address, but I thought that if I sent a letter to her home, her mum and dad might forward it. Mum was reluctant at first, but then she relented, and so that’s what I’m going to do. She might not reply, but at any rate I’ll have tried. Even Mum has softened. She said the other day, “That poor girl! She never stood a chance.”
I thought to myself that without Shay I’d never have stood a chance. I know now that I can look after myself. I can survive! I’m not a scaredy cat any longer. If someone like Joolyer gives me any trouble – well! She’d better just watch out, cos she’ll get trouble back. You have to be prepared to stand up for yourself; Shay taught me that.
I shall never stop thinking about Shay, and wondering how she is. I know it’s true that she used people, and that I let myself be bullied by her. But I did speak up in the end! I didn’t go stealing when she wanted me to. And even though she tried to trick me, that last night, when she sprayed the graffiti, she did come back for me. She didn’t have to; she could just have run away. I wouldn’t ever have told on her! The thumbscrew and the rack wouldn’t have got her name out of me. She only came back because in spite of everything, she was my friend.
She was my friend – I don’t care what anyone says!
Also by Jean Ure
Lemonade Sky
Love and Kisses
Fortune Cookie
Star Crazy Me!
Over the Moon
Boys Beware
Is Anybody There?
Secret Meeting
Passion Flower
Shrinking Violet
Boys on the Brain
Skinny Melon and Me
Becky Bananas, This is Your Life!
Fruit and Nutcase
The Secret Life of Sally Tomato
Family Fan Club
Ice Lolly
Special three-in-one editions
The Tutti-Frutti Collection
The Flower Power Collection
The Friends Forever Collection
And for younger readers
Dazzling Danny
Daisy May
Monster in the Mirror
Copyright
The HarperCollins Children’s Books
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
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First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2005
Text © Jean Ure 2005
Illustrations © Karen Donnelly 2005
Cover illustrations by Nicola Slater
The author and illustrator assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work.
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