by RS McCoy
“And when you spoke to Druma before, you put in his code?” Blossom turned the panel over in her hand and marveled at its sleek, slim design. It was so small for something that was obviously quite powerful.
“That’s right. I can ask for one for you if you like, but honestly, I hate it. It’s just another way to keep tabs on where I am and what I’m doing.” Kaide ran a hand through his hair where several rogue pieces had fallen into his face.
“You’ve had it all along?” Blossom bristled knowing he’d had some device in his pocket every moment she’d ever spent with him, but had only seen it for the first time today.
“Syndicate Reva likes to think she can reach me at all times, but she rarely calls. It’s but another way to try to control me.”
As much as Blossom wanted to look at the panel and see how it worked, she didn’t want Kaide to be in foul mood as he thought about work. So she set the panel on the countertop and looked up at him with eager eyes as she asked, “Can we see your collection tonight?”
“Of course, Beauty.” A smile cracked through his frown. “Anytime you like. It’s all yours.”
“I don’t know how to get in.” Blossom rubbed her shoulder in memory of trying to enter the hideaway in his absence.
Out of the same pocket he kept the panel, Kaide produced a copper key, its bow shaped like a wolf’s head. Then, he took her hand and pressed it into her palm. “So you’ll always have it whenever you need it.”
Blossom’s fingers curled around it in her hand and she clutched it to her chest. Never had she received such a gift. Music and books and art and a private space to enjoy them. A bright smile consumed her features, and she knew her cheeks flushed with her excitement.
She pushed up onto her tip-toes to kiss him, but of course he was too tall. So instead, she kissed the center of his chest where she knew his Alder Mother tattoo was hidden under his shirt. “Thank you,” she whispered against the black fabric.
Kaide’s fingers found the soft skin under her chin and tilted her face up where she melted in his gaze. “Let me show you.” He leaned in and, as slow as the lava flow, pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering for several heartbeats before he let her breathe again.
With a hand low on her back, Kaide led her to the same wall that proved immobile before. This time, he pointed to a small slit in the wood, a keyhole she never would have seen had he not shown her where to look.
Blossom pushed in the key and turned it. The wall slid open without so much as a sound, revealing the dark space that held his collection. Once inside, the low lights flickered to life and illuminated his expansive treasures. She couldn’t help but squeal in delight.
He stepped forward to one of his old-world relics and moved a few parts to produce the same jazz they’d listened to before, the one she couldn’t get out of her head.
“Go on, Beauty. I’ll be right back.” Kaide kissed her temple before he disappeared.
With one hand clutched over her chest to guard against the chill, Blossom started with the books, running her fingers along the spines. She felt their age and energy, wondering how she’d ever find Pyrona Dusk in the midst of such a library.
As she strolled down the length of the bookshelf, following the curve of the manor, the small lounger came into view, and on it rested a blue-bound book, a slip of red fabric peeking out from its pages. Sure enough, it was the very book. When she pulled it into her hands, she found the fabric tucked precisely where she’d left off. Kaide must have marked it for her. She smiled as she slid onto the lounger and started reading.
Kaide reappeared several minutes later with a tray of crackers, fruit, nuts, and cheeses. In his other hand, he balanced a pair of crystal glasses filled with clear liquid. “Hungry?”
Blossom looked up from her book and nodded. “Starving.” What little she’d eaten today had been left in the transport. She sighed, dismissing the thought, and plucked a handful of nuts from the tray.
Kaide set the tray on the table beside her and settled into his seat on the lounger, cracking open the same book she’d seen him read before.
Blossom wasted no time in sinking against his ribs and reading, feeling the rise and fall of breaths. In the chill of the room, Kaide’s warmth was comforting, and soon she found herself drawn-up and curled against him. She pressed her thighs into her chest and rested her book on the tops of her feet.
Just when she’d finally gotten comfortable enough, Kaide pushed up from the lounger and walked away. “Where are you going?” she called out, disappointed to have lost his warmth.
But he returned a moment later with a thick, crimson blanket, one she recognized from his bed. Kaide took his seat as he draped it over her.
“I would have gotten it if I needed it,” she reminded him, pulling the blanket to her chest nonetheless and setting her book on top.
“I have no doubt you would have. But your chattering teeth were distracting me from my book. As was your figure pressed against me. I only have so much control, you know.”
Blossom tried to laugh at him but couldn’t. Instead, she settled her head on his leg and tried to concentrate on her book. His fingers toying with her hair only made it that much harder.
Finally, she swatted away his hand so she could read, but it only made him shake with laughter. She ignored him, but he went right back to playing with her curls until she gave up. Blossom replaced the strip of fabric in her book and set it on the floor.
Then she climbed up in his lap, giving him her full attention as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Is this what you were after?”
“No, but you’ll never hear a word of complaint from me.” He tilted his head back enough to inhale sharply, and Blossom wondered what he could smell on her.
When he looked up at her, his words came out in rapid-fire succession. “Marry me. I’ll make you happy. I promise I will. I’ll—”
His words dissipated when Blossom pulled away and lowered her eyes.
“What are you afraid of?” he asked, his voice more desperate than she’d ever heard.
Blossom shrugged so she wouldn’t have to answer. She knew she was hurting him.
His mouth tensed with concern. “Are you happy here? With me?”
“Of course.” She wouldn’t let him think he’d failed her in some way.
“Then what?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered low like an apology. “I don’t even know who I am yet. How can I promise you the rest of my life when I don’t know myself yet?”
Kaide’s features eased somewhat as he said, “I know exactly who you are, Beauty. I know you’re as strong as a bear and as soft as an alder blossom. You have more fight in you than a pack of wolves and more cunning than a fox. You are strong and spirited and stunningly beautiful. Those green eyes of yours send pains through my chest just to look at them.”
Blossom pressed her palm to his cheek and felt the scruff on his beard against her skin. “But I’m not any of those things, yet. And I won’t know until I have a totem. Can we wait until then?”
Kaide’s burning blue eyes darkened in an instant. “Beauty—”
“What?” She pulled away when she saw the determined look in his eye.
“I think it’s best if you don’t undergo transformation.” Kaide’s eyes were soft and sad, as if he regretted telling her, but that didn’t change the words.
Blossom peeled off him and backed away, her eyes narrowed in anger. “You don’t get to make that decision. It’s my totem and I—”
“You will be walking into a trap.” Kaide sighed and stood, reaching out to her before she backed away again.
“Everyone in the realm has a totem. Every single person. Why shouldn’t I get one?” Blossom crossed her arms across her chest and glared at him, more furious in this moment than she’d ever been. Her heartbeat thumped in her ears, and her hands balled into fists as she tried to stay calm.
“Mercer is going to change your totem. She as much as told me so.” Kaide stepped to
ward her, and when she backed away from him farther, she found herself pressed against the wall of paintings.
“I don’t believe that. Why would she tell you that?”
“To cause this exact moment. To drive you away from me and use you against me. As I said she would. I warned you they were dangerous and twisted and—” Kaide groaned and punched his palm. “I only mean to keep you safe. I can’t protect you during transformation, and I have direct knowledge that they mean to alter your totem. If you go, you’ll end up like me—an unnatural creature you can’t control. It’ll drive you mad, Beauty.”
Blossom curled her lip in fury. “Because you can handle it and I can’t? You should get a strong, powerful totem and I’m just some fragile little girl who can’t do it?” She was beyond sick and tired of being treated like a delicate flower. A baby bird that needed watching.
Kaide stepped forward and gripped her shoulders hard. Trapped between his strong frame and the wall behind her, Blossom could do nothing but glare up at him as he argued. “You could do it. If anyone could do it, I know it’s you. But you’ll hate it. You’ll hate being someone everyone fears. You’ll hate killing people.”
Blossom’s mouth fell open at his admission. “You’ve killed people?”
Kaide nodded slowly.
“You mean the warehouse?”
Kaide pressed his lips together for an instant before he answered. “Far more than that. I’ve killed so many I lost count after the first few months. Dozens. Maybe hundreds. I told you, Beauty, I’m dangerous. And that’s what you’ll be. It will kill you to be this way. I couldn’t stand to see you lose your fire as you fight it.”
Blossom didn’t want to believe it. “Or maybe I’ll be nothing like that. Maybe I’ll be something else entirely.”
“Either way, you won’t be you. You’ll never know what you should have been. You’ll only be what they make you.” Kaide lowered his head and released her. “I wouldn’t ask this of you if there was another way. It’s not fair. I know. It’s obscenely unfair, but this is the price of being with me. You’re a target to my enemies, and this is how they’ll kill you. They won’t put a spear in your chest. They’ll let you kill yourself, let you die a slow, miserable death, in agony as you fight off a totem you can’t control.”
“So if I want my totem, my real totem, I shouldn’t marry you.” Blossom hated that he towered so far over her, that she had to crane her head so far up to glower at him. She knew it didn’t have nearly the effect she wanted.
“It’s too late. They know. They knew the moment they arrived at the manor and saw you. It was the reason they came here. And now that they know what you mean to me, they’ll use it against us in any way they can. I hate that I put you in this position, but there’s nothing else I can do. This is the only way.” When he saw she wouldn’t budge, he added, “At least think about it.”
“It’s two days away!” she reminded him. How was she supposed to figure something like this out in two days?
Kaide nodded and wrung his hands together before him.
Blossom narrowed her eyes. “And what if I decide to go through with it? What if I still want my totem?”
“Then I won’t stop you. It’s your decision, and now you’ll make it with all the information. You’ll know the full weight of your choice. If you decide to undergo transformation, it will kill me, but I won’t stop you.” There was such pain in his eyes, she couldn’t argue with him any longer. She wasn’t ready to give up her totem, but for now, she was done discussing it.
Blossom stepped toward him and flung her arms around his neck. Kaide pulled her from the floor, and she wrapped her legs around his waist in the same instant. His lips found hers, consuming and intense, and he embraced her with the strength of his inner beast. It was possible to feel how scared he was.
Her legs wrapped around him, Blossom pressed her whole body flush against his as they kissed. She didn’t want to lose him. As much as he’d driven her mad or pissed her off since he pulled her from her Alderwood clan, Kaide was important to her. They were undeniably connected. Of that much she was certain.
Blossom pulled back, taking long, deep breaths into her starving lungs. Kaide’s eyes were clamped shut and his jaw was riddled with the tension she’d brought him.
She put her hands on both of his cheeks. “I will think about it. I will sleep on it. And I will let you know my conscientious, informed decision in the morning. Does that satisfy you?”
Kaide inhaled and his hands moved over her back as he knew she liked. Then, at last, he nodded.
Blossom beamed as she revealed the last piece of her plan. “And no matter what I decide, in three days’ time, I’ll marry you.”
His eyes shot up and burned a brilliant blue. The look on his face, the torn mixture between cautious excitement and pure, unbridled joy pushed her over the edge. Her head flung back as she laughed, and had it not been for his grip on her waist, she would have fallen to the ground with glee.
Kaide groaned his anticipation, pulling her back up so he could see her. “Now that, Ms. Frane, satisfies me.”
Blossom squeezed her legs harder around his waist, the drum in his chest as loud as hers. He walked her back out of his collection and let the door shut behind them. With a heave, he all but tossed her onto the bed where she landed with a bounce in the thick sheets.
A moment later, he hovered over the top of her, his eyes blazing with energy. “I suppose I’ll have to get used to calling you Mrs. Landel, won’t I?”
Blossom Landel. She turned the name over in her mind and tasted it on her tongue. Blossom Landel, wife of the esteemed Vice Syndicate Kaide Landel. There were certainly worse names, worse husbands.
For the first time in her life, Blossom was excited about the prospect of marriage. She knew, of course, that it was Kaide who had made the difference. To Norin or anyone else, it would have been yet another form of imprisonment. But here with him, she had a level of freedom she’d never known. She had his strong hands and unapologetic words and protective guardianship. She had his warm kisses on her neck and his intense eyes where he crouched over her.
She had a heart that was entirely his, and once she had her totem, she’d have everything she ever wanted.
Kaide blinked against the full dark of night. Slivers of moonlight shone through the windowed wall and offered just enough light to reveal the angel’s face beside him, surrounded by a halo of curls. All she needed were wings to embody the most beautiful, angelic creature in existence.
He’d given up on sleep hours ago. Caught between abject terror and an excitement so massive it made his whole body tingle, Kaide couldn’t even begin to sleep.
Murderous images of Audra’s mutilated body floated across his vision. He would kill her for this. He would make sure, before the end, that she watched the fall of her branch before he ripped the flesh from her neck. Blood vessels, tendons, windpipe, all severed and spewing as she tried and failed to suck in her dying breaths.
That was all she deserved after what she’d done to Blossom—what she’d done to them. No matter what his Beauty decided, she would never be the same. If she chose her totem, she’d suffer a lifetime of struggle against its unnatural form. If she chose to forgo her transformation, it would haunt her forever. She would never know that animal side of herself. Blossom wasn’t one to take such a thing lightly. She would always question what she could have been.
There was no way to keep her from harm. Each choice carried its own weight, its own sacrifice. And Kaide had put her in that position. It would eat at him like rot until the day he died. Every time her features darkened in pain, he would know he had been the one to put it there.
He would spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her. He would take her anywhere she wanted, to Hydrona, to the Alderwood, to the tallest volcanic peaks to the lowest lake shores. He would kiss her in the portal room so she wouldn’t be sick and bring her books to read when she didn’t feel well. He would do anything and everythin
g to earn his place in her life, a place he was sure he didn’t deserve.
Still, the idea that she would marry him, the idea that she wanted to marry him, made his heart beat as if it forgot its rhythm entirely. It wasn’t just him. It wasn’t just his totem. This was something powerful. Something real. And Blossom felt it, too.
Distracted by her freckles and messy curls, her sleepy sighs and her full, pouting lips, Kaide resigned to let the night pass without sleep. There were worse ways to spend his time. With a full day of meetings and transmissions in the morning, he was sure he would suffer for his lack of sleep, but there wasn’t much he could do. Blossom unraveled him with uncanny ease.
By the time the sun peaked over the treetops and streamed into the bedroom, she had started to stir. Her emerald-green eyes batted open as she let out a waking yawn. At once, it evaporated into a smitten smile that left him breathless.
“Good morning, Beauty.” Kaide tilted forward and kissed her forehead, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.
“Good morning, Beast,” she replied against his chest in that same sweet tone she used to disarm him.
Kaide groaned in protest. It was deeply unfair that she had such an effect on him. He was the Vice Syndicate of the Pyro Branch. He would soon be the Syndicate and use his position to manifest major change within the realm. He was supposed to have more control than this. And with everyone else, he did. Everyone but her.
“What do you want to do today?” Blossom lifted her head up, taunting with him with her stunning eyes.
“I would love to lay here with you, but I have a few meetings scheduled. I’ll have Druma ready to take you wherever you want to go.” Kaide realized, as soon as he said it, that she might very well ask to be taken to the Syndicate to await her transformation.