“Humans were always supposed to be safe outside of the perils of the shifter world. I was naïve, foolish in thinking that no one would dare cause you pain because you weren’t a shifter, but I also hadn’t taken into account the exceptions a megalomaniac like Lucas would consider if it meant finally besting the two alphas that had eluded him for so many years…”
He scoffed. “So there’s another thing I should apologize for. All of the fear and stress and confusion you must be feeling right now. I never wanted this. I never wanted you to see it. I was perfectly fine with just being around you. Nothing else mattered to me.
“But my bear… he didn’t agree. He wanted you to see everything about us, to see us and love us for who we truly are. I was convinced it was impossible to love you and be with you without lying—humans and shifters were just destined to live different lives. We’ve been told that from childhood. But then I met you, and I started to second-guess everything I’d ever learned. The more I had to have you by my side, the more the thought of living without you was unbearable to imagine. Shifter or not, my bear chose you.
“I chose you,” Nick breathed. “And I was hoping that, shifter or not, you’d still choose me, too.”
There was a stretch of silence before he could smell the salt in the air, making his heart break. She was crying.
“I’m not saying it’ll be easy,” he continued honestly, “but this wasn’t just some quick fling for me, Jo. There’s something about you that I need, something that my bear needs too. You make me… us happy. Beyond that, nothing else matters. I’ve never felt so strongly about another person the way I do about you, Jo.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I.-I’m really starting to fall for you.”
Chapter Sixteen
Jo sat petrified on the sitting room sofa, Nick’s words overwhelming her. She clapped her hands over her ears, unwilling to hear another word of his confession. Her mind wasn’t processing anything properly, unsure of what to think or feel. She could only hear her mind screaming for her to run.
“Just go, Nick,” she shouted, unable to hear even if he responded. “Please, just go.”
Even past her covered ears, she could hear the defiant thump as he banged his fist against the door in frustration. “I don’t want to go,” she’d barely heard him reply. “I want to see you.”
She didn’t reply, the silence telling him more than she could with words.
She reluctantly pulled her hands away from her ears, and finally, Nick sighed. “If you want me to go, then I will,” he said. “But please give us a chance to talk before leaving.”
Jo waited until his footsteps faded completely before bursting into a fit of fresh tears. None of this made sense. Her body wracked with sobs as she finished packing in a rush. She didn’t care if she left anything behind, she just needed to leave.
***
Nick burst through the shop door in a rage. He knew Tom probably sensed him approaching from a mile away, his anger radiating off of him in waves.
“This is your fault!” he shouted into the empty office, knowing that wherever his brother was hiding, he’d hear him
Tom swore quietly, finally peeking his head out of the shop exit. “I’m guessing things didn’t go well with Jo?” he said, face somber.
“Cut the crap, Tom,” Nick snapped. “You don’t care. You never did. I know you’re secretly proud of yourself for pulling this stunt.”
Tom raised his hands in a placating gesture. “What’s done is done. Neither of us meant for her to learn the truth today. I know that, and so do you.” He slowly lowered his hands. “But now that this has happened, even you have to admit that we’re all safer the further she is from us, Nick. Now’s the time for self-preserv—”
Nick was on him in and instant, snatching him up by the collar of his shirt. “Self-preservation my ass. You’ve wanted her gone from the moment you laid eyes on her!”
“And you didn’t!” Tom shot back, finally getting angry. “Don’t you see how that’s a problem, Nick? She’s human!”
“She’s my mate!” Nick roared, shoving Tom backward hard enough to knock into a case of tools on the nearby worktable. It crashed to the shop floor, echoing harshly in the bad acoustics of the garage, and though they both flinched at the cacophony grating against their keen hearing, Nick didn’t care. His breathing was ragged, his mind racing and panicked.
Tom’s expression was pale, his mouth floundering in speechlessness. “You… Nick, she can’t. You even said—”
“I didn’t know at the time,” Nick spat, shaking his head. “It just seemed so impossible then.”
“That’s because it is impossible, Nick,” Tom replied. “You’ve made a mistake.”
Nick closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. If he was going to convince Tom that he was telling the truth, he could let his rage get the better of him. With a surge of warmth, he found that thinking of Jo did the trick nicely.
He thought of her smile and her wit, her boldness, and how kind she could be when she wanted to. Her confidence when she knew she was right balanced amazingly with her to ability to shoulder more than most people. His bear calmed immediately as images of Jo flooded his mind, and when he opened his eyes again, he was completely at ease.
He leveled a gaze at Tom, holding up his hands gently to show he meant no harm. “You see this?” he asked. “This is what thoughts of Jo do for my bear. Only a moment ago he was ready to tear your head off, and now he’s completely relaxed.” He lowered his hands. “Do you understand now? It doesn’t matter if you think it’s possible, or if I think it’s possible. The bear has chosen.” He squared his shoulders. “And so have I.”
Tom ran a weary hand over his face, a look of confusion mottling his features. “This makes no sense, Nick. It’s not natural.”
“Yes, I know, and I’m trying to work through things in my own way, but the only thing that feels right when I say it out loud is that Jo is my mate. I can’t deny it anymore. And now she’s seen me turn into a bear, and she’s terrified of me.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, physically distraught at the thought of losing her. “She barricaded herself in the cabin and wouldn’t even speak to me.”
Tom took a slow step forward. “Well, can you really blame her, Nick? She’s only ever seen the worse of us,” he said. “If what you’re saying is true, she probably doesn’t even know it yet. The mate pairing concept isn’t one known to humans. I’m sure she just needs more time.”
“What if there isn’t any more time?” Nick shouted, voice ragged. “She told me to leave and I walked away to the smell of her tears in the back of my throat. How can you possibly think I have more time?”
A pained look crossed Tom’s face, flinching at Nick’s words. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Nick sighed mournfully. “How could you possibly understand?”
Nick wanted to believe him, that Jo would think things over in solitude and realize he was worth all the extra baggage, but even the bear within shifted uneasily at the odds. You don’t reinforce doors to keep out someone you love.
The sound of a car approached in the distance, and something urged Nick to check outside. Fallowing his bear’s instinct, he left out the front door, listening intently as the sound of the car as it grew closer. Suddenly, his heart listed in hope as the sight of Jo’s car drove down the road toward the shop… then rocketing past him towards town limits.
“No!” Nick shouted, sprinting after her. “Jo! Please!” His bear roared in distress, demanding a change so that he could travel on foot faster. Our mate is leaving! Running as fast as he could, Nick waved frantically, the panic igniting in full force when Jo responded by revving the engine harder and speeding out of reach. There was no hope of catching her, even as his bear. He cried out a painful roar. His heart shattering as he watched his one true love flee for her life in fear of him.
***
Jo drove the full day’s trip to San Francisco in one go, checking in
to a nice hotel for the remaining two nights until her meeting.
“Would you like to schedule meals to be delivered directly to your room?” the nice receptionist asked as she processed Jo’s Liberty Art company card.
“Oh, that sounds lovely,” she agreed, listing her preferred times for breakfast and dinner. She was done with ratty motels. If Brian was going to force her to drive to all her meetings, she was going to lodge in style to make up for it. Thanking the receptionist, she grabbed her keycard and headed up to her room.
Jo flopped lazily onto the plush bed with an exhausted sigh. She wanted to curl into a ball of sadness and cry, but she’d expended all of her tears and more during the trip. A memory flashed in the forefront of her mind, Nick’s pained expression in her rearview mirror as he screamed and chased after her. Her stomach churned as she remembered pressing the accelerator to leave him behind, and she almost thought she might get sick.
Now that he’d had time to stew, the pain and panic had long since died away. The second half of the car ride was numbing, where she’d felt almost nothing at all. As she’d entered San Francisco city limits, she remembered joking with him about living in a fancy mansion here, one day, and slowly, her feeling and emotions had started trickling back.
She wished they wouldn’t.
Where she had once felt fear, she now felt ridiculous and weak, regret and embarrassment, and worst of all, she felt like she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. Nick provided her with the exciting possibility of something new and spontaneous, and, true to her boring, do-only-enough-to-get-by self, she panicked at the thought of the unknown and ran. Like a coward.
Something sharp twisted in her stomach, and she doubled over with a groan, allowing the grief to take her. As she lay curled in bed, her cell phone rang.
Springing up, her heart jumped in her chest. Was it Nick? Had he called?
It was not Nick. Sighing, she answered. “What do you want, Brian?” She didn’t have the energy for false pleasantries.
“I’ve just taken a look at your recent transaction history,” she heard him say through gritted teeth. “This establishment is not made of money, Jo”
She shrugged, not caring that he couldn’t see it. “And?”
There was a beat of silence as Brian processed her response. “I beg your pardon?” he asked, voice rising and octane higher in pitch. “Need I remind you that we are on a budget?” he exclaimed.
“And that’s not my concern,” she replied, voice devoid of emotion. “I’m your employee, not your beaten down pack mule. If you want me to do the work you sent me out here to do, I’m going to make sure I’m of sound body and health to make sure I can get it done right.” She sighed, already tired of this conversation. “The drive was long and I’m exhausted. So yeah, if I want to stay in a slightly nicer hotel to make sure I get a good night’s rest without gun shots and police sirens wailing, then so be it.”
“The cost is ridiculous!” he spluttered.
“Shame. If I’d have flown in, I wouldn’t be so beat,” she chastised. Her stomach grumbled uneasily, knowing she was pressing major buttons. “You’d also be making more money because you would’ve had your A-list artist in your back pocket two days ago. So there’s a thought for the future.”
Brian stammered over the line for a moment, and Jo could hear his building fury at her noncompliance. Would he fire her? Did she care?
“Fine,” he finally spat. “But since you’re available a day early, I’ll phone the client and have them meet with you tomorrow. So change that reservation to one night, ASAP, Barrowman.” She heard him scribbling something down. “I’ll text you the details.” The line went dead.
Jo stared down at the phone in her hand, and slowly, a smile spread across her lips. All this time, all she needed was a little assertion. Now she got to keep her job, and the fancy hotel. “You were right all along, Nick,” she murmured, her smile wilting almost immediately.
She placed a palm on her forehead. “What have I done?” she groaned softly. She’d spent her entire life being afraid of doing well for herself, always taking a step back when things were too good to be true. Nick was so much more than too good. He was everything she needed and wanted, what she’d hoped and desired to become one day. A man like him told her that he was falling for her.
And she ran away.
With a sigh, she rolled out of the bed to prep the coffeemaker. She’d had him, right there in the palm of her hand, and she let him go. She hadn’t wanted to listen, to admit that despite her fears, she had felt the same way. But as memories of him holding her while she was crying and passionate nights tangled in bed sheets together wafted to the surface of her mind, she couldn’t deny it anymore. She didn’t know when, but in the short time she’d known him, Jo Barrowman had definitely fallen for him.
“And then he turned into a bear,” she muttered, surprised as a bubble of laughter spilled over her lips. It sounded ridiculous when said out loud, tickling her to no end. She was soon doubled over in laughter, unable to control her reaction to the hilarity that was her life. Tears dotted the corners of her eyes as she clenched her sides. It felt therapeutic and definitely better than the crying.
Finally, with a breathless sigh, she peered down at her phone screen. “Maybe when I’m done here, I can pay him a visit on the way home.” She told herself – even if it was only for closure, and maybe more than a little curiosity, but even dog tired and slightly depressed she couldn’t ignore the warm excited thrill that pooled in her belly at the thought of him.
Sure, he was a bear, and as surreal as that sounded, it explained a lot of his mannerisms that had confused her before. His resilience to the cold, the way his lips curled when he was angry, the way he could handle her firmly, but gently all at the same time, as if he was afraid she’d break. No, she hadn’t had too good of a track record with bears in Rawlins, but her time with Nick had outshined that, ten-fold. She felt she knew him better now, and there was peace in that fact.
Settling down with her mug of coffee, she pulled the book she’d been reading at the cabin out of her luggage case, opening to where she’d left off.
Chapter Seventeen
A flutter of kisses trailed down her throat, rendered breathless with ecstasy and yearning. A deep chuckle reverberated against the soft curve of her neck, sending delicious shivers through her body that met at his fingers just as he pushed them inside her.
“It’s time to wake up sweetheart,” a warm voice purred in her ear as she gasped his name.
“Nick!” Jo cried, rocketing upright in bed. She stared blearily out into the blackness of the hotel room, confused for a moment when the familiar décor of the cabin hadn’t greeted her as expected.
A light glinted off to the side of her vision, her bright phone screen shining harshly against the pre-dawn darkness. She picked it up with blurry vision, scrubbing the sleep out of her eyes to check the time. 4:40 AM. Her phone then chirped a soft notification noise, alerting her that she’d received a third text message to add to the other two that were already there.
“Fucking Brian,” she muttered softly. He was just the type to send messages at horrible hours in the morning to people he was angry at, so she wasn’t surprised. Annoyed, she flipped open the messages, reading about the ins and outs of the meeting set a little over five hours from now.
She fell back into the sheets with a groan of frustration. Five hours. Not enough time to fall back to sleep, but too much time to wander around doing nothing. “Fucking Brian!” she said with a little more feeling this time.
Flipping angrily out of bed, she set up the coffeemaker to brew a fresh pot, thinking of using her unwanted free time to maybe hit up one of those trendy street-side cafes to eat an overpriced bagel on Liberty Art’s dime.
The coffee wasn’t great, but it brewed fast, for which Jo was grateful. Waking up was slow going on half a night’s sleep, even a bed as nice as the one this room had. Taking the first hot sip, Jo flung open the curtains,
hoping she could maybe watch the sun rise as she nursed her coffee. Aside from the scattered streetlights, the sky was completely dark, no sign of the sun on the horizon. Despite her efforts, her heart fell all the same. It seemed that her life was slowly beginning to slip back into the routine of doing, being, and expecting nothing more than ‘just enough’. It wasn’t a terrible way to live, she admitted, but she couldn’t help but remember the opportunistic spontaneity that Rawlins had given her, albeit for only two short days. Would the girl she’d allowed herself to explore there be able to function in the life she’d succumbed to outside of the cabin?
She chuckled, sad and lost. “What the hell am I doing?”
The question echoed around the room. The walls were fancy, the furniture ornate, but the smile that played on her lips as she recalled her small victory last night… wasn’t enough. She shouldn’t have to speak that way to her boss to be treated like a decent human being. She shouldn’t have to fight tooth and nail to only get just enough. The life she’d lived before Rawlins wasn’t one she wanted to be a part of anymore.
Standing with a new sense of purpose, she snatched up her phone, quick dialing Brian’s cell. Her heart raced as the dial tone buzzed, a million fireflies partying in her belly.
“Barrowman, what the hell do you think—” Brian began, voice slurred with sleep but still managing to sound indignant.
“I quit,” she spoke calmly into the phone.
“Quit?!” he parroted incredulously. “Like hell, you’re qui—”
“I quit,” she repeated, louder and firmer this time, leaving no room for further argument. “I’ll get you this client guaranteed. Then I’ll email you my resignation.” Without so much as a goodbye, she ended the call.
She stared out into the quiet of her dim hotel room and had the overwhelming urge to jump up and own in total elation. She’d done it. She’d finally done it. She was no longer tied down by her personal hell. She quit her job, quit the stress, quit Brian—and now she felt free,
Gage Page 54