The smallest bear was fighting two. They were defensive, but not exactly losing. Two nearly identical bears were fighting the remainder, both of them alternating between two and three assailants a piece, yet they managed to hold their own fairly well. Lucy didn’t know how, but they were somehow winning this grossly outmatched battle. If she could just deal with Dominic, they all might be able to make it out of this alive.
“Dominic,” she shouted, her head screaming in protest. “Go the fuck away. Nothing you could do or say would make me follow you anymore,” she declared, voice strong and proud. She really had come such a long way. “You’ve wasted enough of my life. Forest Haven is my home now.”
Dominic snapped his jaws at her, his lip curing back to bare fangs. Next to her, Dan urgently stamped his paw, dust curling around them as he warned her to keep quiet. He shot her a quick glance to drive the alert home, and that’s when Dominic chose to attack.
Lucy saw the way her brother’s ample muscles bunched and coiled in preparation for the attack. If he made contact, Dan most certainly wouldn’t survive it. The risk of losing Dan because he loved her enough to protect her was too big a woe to bear. As Dominic’s glare flashed triumphantly in premature victory, Lucy’s bear exploded form her skin, the rope that tied her tearing like straw as she outgrew the binds.
The shift was agonizing, bones and ligaments twisting and popping as they bent and snapped against their will. Lucy fell to the ground, barely catching herself as the change completed. She didn’t have time to recover; a moment longer and Dan would surely be dead. Slipping around Dan’s battered form, she stood tall, roaring aloud to send a clear message to Dominic.
“I said fuck off, Dominic,” she growled, stepping protectively in front of Dan.
“Get out of the way,” Dominic glowered.
Lucy snorted once. “Not a chance.”
“What happened to your sense of loyalty?” Dominic roared suddenly, stamping the ground with a large paw before rising onto his hind legs. “You desert your own brother, for nothing more than trash that I’ll kill one day or another.” He glared daggers through her. “And make no mistake, everyone in your pack will die. Especially the worthless human bitch and the scum alpha that mated her.”
“I have no loyalty to you, Dominic,” Lucy growled back, ignoring his attempts to get under her skin by threatening her pack. “You beat it out of me long ago. It’s high time you find someone else to enslave.”
A large part of Lucy protested her methods. For all of her harsh words, there was a side of her that could do nothing but remember the strong older brother that had protected her and had kept her safe from the very harm that he’d become. She longed for those days again, but searching her brother’s eyes, she could find nothing of the person he once was within them. He was too far beyond saving.
A long minute passed between them before Dominic dropped to the ground on four paws.
“You’re dead to me,” he growled, and unlike Lucy’s harsh words, the truth of his hate and disgust in her rang loud and clear. “You stupid, worthless bitch.”
Different from the empty antagonizing threats he’d slung about killing Nick and Jo, the words he’d just uttered sliced through Lucy better than any knife ever could. She felt a part of her heart shatter with those words, the words that solidified without a shadow of doubt that she’d lost her brother forever. She hadn’t known that she’d been holding out so much hope for him until that faith lay broken and beaten on the forest floor, unable to be salvaged.
“When we return to end this sorry excuse of a pack, don’t expect any mercy from me,” Dominic warned, his eyes flashing with a hatred for her that she’d never since forget. “You’re no sister of mine.”
Turning his back on her and Dan, Dominic lumbered off back into the forest, sending some signal that Lucy didn’t see for the rest of the enemy bears to follow. They retreated almost immediately, tearing off into the darkness of the trees before any of the Forest Haven bears could properly react. None of that mattered though, not to Lucy.
Every member of Forest Haven was alive. They stood together, they stood strong, and as the Northern Wind departed, relief settled in. For now, they had won.
“Let’s go home,” Nick announced when the enemy scents had traveled far enough away.
Without a word, Lucy fell into step behind the rest of the pack. The fight or flight instinct of her bear form was wearing off, and she found her steps on four legs to be quite clumsy and awkward. With a passing thought, she wondered if this was how Dan must feel as a human.
The cold reality of her form surrounded her, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it yet. At this very moment, she was a bear. She was walking around in a bear form she’d never wished to see again for as long as she lived. It personified everything wrong with her life, only bringing up images of the brother she’d lost long ago. She was sure Dan would be thrilled that she’d finally shed her human skin, but as far as Lucy was concerned, this was a onetime accident. The memories of her bear days were painful, topped only by the way her own brother had denounced her only moments ago. Nothing good came from this form.
She’d never get her Dominic back now, and though she couldn’t quite blame the bear, she felt like if she’d stayed in her human form, there may have been a bit more of a chance. Now she’d never know.
He was gone, and that, perhaps, was the worst part of this entire ordeal.
Where would she be able to finally shed this damned form?
“Guys, the workstation,” Nick ordered as they neared the mechanic shop. The men limped inside as the girls began their change in the trees.
Savannah slipped easily back into her human skin, letting out a long sigh of relief. Jo stepped out of the truck, brandishing blankets for them both as they changed back to human form. Savannah wrapped herself snugly in a blanket before looking inquiringly at Lucy.
Now that the moment was upon her, she wasn’t sure if she could do it. She’d had the help of adrenaline and protectiveness on her side when the bear form freed itself before. Now, once everything had long since worn away, she was sure that the pain was going to be unbearable.
“It’s okay, Lucy,” Savannah encouraged. “I know you’re afraid of the pain, but it’s temporary, I promise. You’ll feel much better in human form than you do now, I’m sure.”
Lucy agreed, whimpering softly as she feared what was to come. She hated this form. Hated it. This was yet another reason why.
Gritting her teeth, Lucy began to force the bear back. It struggled and fought, having only just tasted its freedom, but Lucy pressed on. Her bones snapped loudly, the muscles tearing and rending. Blood poured liberally from the gash in her head that hadn’t quite healed, and as her bear’s snout retracted into the face she knew best, the roar she hadn’t known she’d been baying morphed into a ragged scream. After what felt like an eternity, she lay crumpled in the fetal position, her breath coming in gasps as Jo hastily wrapped a blanked around her.
Savannah sat in the dirt beside her, pulling Lucy’s head onto her lap.
“Are you okay,” Savannah asked gently. “The first change back after a while can be a bit… rough.”
Lucy only swallowed, tears pooling freely in her eyes.
“There’s Dan,” Jo spoke, relief evident in her voice. “He’ll look after you.” Jo gave her a kind smile, even though concern filled her eyes. When Dan came into view from where she lay on Savannah’s lap, even he had a similar look on his face, and it only made Lucy want to cry even more.
“Lucy,” he murmured softly, slipping strong arms around her as he hoisted her into the air. “Let’s go inside.”
She let him carry her, not even caring how helpless it made her look. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to curl up on the bed and cry until there was nothing left.
Chapter Nineteen
Nick had given everyone the remainder of the day to recuperate from the battle, announcing that a meeting would be held the next day and they all
had to attend. Dan was grateful for the break, using the free time to be there for Lucy in a time when she really needed a shoulder to cry on.
She’d spent the night alternating between anger and tears, never speaking or asking for help. As much as he wanted to, Dan knew saying anything about her shift would only make her feel worse. All he could do was hold her as she cried, helpless when faced with her immense sadness.
Her eyes were puffy and dull as she sat in the office, waiting for the meeting to begin. Dan wanted to pull her close, embracing her as he kissed all her sorrow away, but he refrained. Last night, she’d been much too preoccupied by her sadness to push away his consoling, but now she just looked like she’d rather be left alone.
“How are we all feeling?” Nick began, looking at his pack.
Murmurs sounded around the room as people assessed the damage they’d sustained the day before. Dan shrugged, wincing as his sore muscles pulled taut and the cuts that hadn’t quite healed yet stung from being jostled. He glanced gratefully at his mate, knowing that had it not been for her, things could have certainly turned out worse for him. He’d never be able to truly express how much her sacrifice meant to him.
Nick gave them a sad smile. “Could be better, huh?” he quipped. “At least we’re alive,” he continued, his face falling serious once more, “which is a good thing because if what we’re to believe it is true, we’ll need everyone to make it past this once and for all.”
“What do you mean?” Dan asked, noticing the confused looks on the others’ faces.
Nick and Tom exchanged weary glances before Tom met Dan’s gaze. “Last night, a bit after everyone got settled in for the evening, Nick and I tracked the Northern Wind back to where they holed up.”
“It was risky,” Nick chimed in, “but we figured after that night they’d likely be on high alert, so it was our best chance to gather some last minute information before their next attack.” He chewed his inner cheek, glancing quickly at Lucy before continuing. “And yeah, we heard some things.”
Lucy caught the glance, her dull eyes sharpening with anger. “It has something to do with Dominic?” There was a rawness in her voice that could only be achieved by hours of crying, and it broke Dan’s heart all over again.
Nick paused a moment, contemplating speaking on it further before sighing in resignation. “Yeah, at least we think it does.”
“He was chatting with a bear we hadn’t seen before, saying some pretty harsh things about the Northern Wind leader, Lucas,” Tom took over, face dark. “His voice didn’t carry well on the wing, but from what we could make out, he’s planning something. Something big, and we’re not entirely sure that Lucas is in on it.”
“What do you mean, ‘something big’?” Savannah asked, voice heavy with concern.
Dan thought back to the day before, before Lucas and Dominic had changed and were bantering back and forth. He remembered how Lucas’s voice had sounded off, not quite like himself. “Did anyone else notice something… different about Lucas yesterday?” he asked, looking from face to face.
Savannah shuddered. “Still seemed like a bloodthirsty tyrant from where I was standing,” she glowered.
Dan shook it head. “I don’t disagree, but what I mean is, he sounded different. His voice was off.” He racked his brain to explain what he’d noticed then, but he’d also been so overcome with anger that the words wouldn’t come freely. “He didn’t have any of his signature… creepiness.”
“I think I understand what you’re getting at,” Tom said. “Now that I think about it, he didn’t sound like the calculating bear we know him to be.” He frowned at Nick. “I thought that it was just because Dominic was so much worse, but maybe there’s also an underlying power struggle at work here that they didn’t want to make known?”
“Maybe,” Nick agreed, and now he was frowning as well. “That could prove problematic in the future.”
Savannah shook her head. “What also doesn’t make sense is… what exactly was yesterday?” she asked. “Besides Lucas, I’d never seen a single bear that showed up in the forest.” She looked to Lucy, a bit of sympathy in her gaze. “Besides your brother, did you recognize any of the other bears?”
Lucy gave one curt shake of her head. “No. We never allied with anyone else.”
Savannah nodded, turning back to Nick. “Twelve bears were in that clearing, thirteen if you count Lucy. Five were us, and of us all, we only noticed two of the remaining eight. Who were the other six?” she asked, looking from face to face and settling on Dan. “And what’s more, where were the bears we know? Where’s Flood and Jake, or anyone else from the Northern Wind we left behind?”
“And why did it almost seem too easy?” Jo murmured. Every eye turned to her. “From what I could see in the truck, the bears were small, and even though almost all of you were outnumbered, it was easy for you to keep them at bay.” She looked to Nick. “Even against Lucas himself and another two bears, you seemed to be holding them back easily. That doesn’t seem right.”
“Jo’s right,” Tom confirmed with a grimace. “As most of you know, I fought Lucas myself not too long ago. Ask Dan and Savannah; it wasn’t an easy fight, even one-on-one, and I came home with some pretty nasty wounds to show for it.” He turned to his brother, looking him over. “And here you are after fighting him and two others by yourself, virtually unscathed.”
Dan remembered how Dominic tore into Lucy with his words before stalking off into the woods. Dread settled in his stomach, as he could clearly see the other bears backing off almost immediately after he’d faded into darkness past the underbrush. Jo and Savannah were right, something wasn’t right about that battle. Pairing it with what the alphas had found on their scout, Dan could only assume that something terrible was brewing.
“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out,” Nick announced, pulling the attention back to him. ”We always do, and we always come out ahead.
Lucy scoffed. “If only it were so easy.”
Nick turned to her, eyes wary but not upset. “What do you mean?”
She glared up at Nick, her hands balling to fists as she tucked them under her arms. “You’re not dealing with the pack you once were anymore. See, this is what Dominic does. He waltzes into wherever he pleases, and fucks it all up beyond all recognition.”
She stood quickly nearly toppling her chair in the process. “It’s foolish to go into this thinking that whatever comes after yesterday will be the same as what you know.” She shook her head, frustration mottling her features. “You’re not facing Lucas anymore, Nick. You’re facing Dominic, now. So take everything you think you know about the Northern Wind pack and throw it out the window. You’ll be better off for it.” She stalked off without another word, stepping outside into the cold air.
Silence fell in the office behind her departure. “Should I go after her?” Dan asked helplessly. “I don’t know what to do.”
Savannah placed a compassionate hand on his arm. “Give her some space for a while. We all know she’s been through a lot.”
Jo nodded, empathetic. “She did finally shift, at least,” she added. “That’s at least a step in the right direction.”
Dan chose not to respond. Seeing the state she was in post shift had devastated him to his core. Jo may have hope for Lucy’s future as a shifter, but from the way she’d stormed out of the office, Dan honestly couldn’t say the same.
***
The chill of the wind hit Lucy’s cheeks as she stepped outside, but she could hardly feel it. The memories of the battle ran endlessly through her mind, torturing her with replays of the harsh words her brother had speared her with the day before. She couldn’t eat, she couldn’t sleep; she’d cried so much that it exhausted her, and even then, all she would be able to do was stare blankly at the walls as Dan held her. Eventually she’d regained a bit of her lost energy and started crying again.
Thoughts of her shift only brought more pain. Encouraging words from everyone in Forest Haven had her
thinking that maybe, just maybe, the past could be rewritten with something brighter and more hopeful. The harsh reality proved all that truly awaited her was agony. She didn’t want to deal with the torture that shifting brought ever again.
She knew as long as she stayed here, there would be an unspoken pressure against her to shift. She saw the hope and excitement in Dan’s eyes as he took in her bear, the relief on Jo’s face when she finally gave in to the bear’s influence. It would never go away, even though Lucy so desperately wanted it to.
What were her options? A huge part of her just wanted to run away, leave the pack behind and start over somewhere else, be someone else without the expectations of loving a side of her she never wanted to see again. She wanted to just disappear… but her heart told her she couldn’t. Forest Haven had given her so much and asked for so little. They’d welcomed her with open arms and trusted her even though everything about her life urged them not to. And then, there was Dan…
Lucy loved him. There was no denying it. She loved him so fully and completely that the thought of wandering off and never seeing him again pained her heart almost immediately. He’d done his best to keep her safe against Dominic the day before, and nearly lost his life in the process. She knew that if it were anyone else, she wouldn’t have given up her to her bear as easily as she did. Dan was worth breaking boundaries for.
Thoughts meandered to what could have been had she decided to hold onto her fear, but she waved the possibilities away. Holding her head in her hands, she strolled deeper into the cover of the woods. Her mind didn’t need that kind of pain right now.
***
Lucy didn’t know how long she’d been walking for, but lost in her thoughts, she’d managed to wander listlessly into a part of the forest that she’d never been before. The woods were dark, the tall trees blotting out most of the early morning sunshine.
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