Melody rushed away and came back with two towels: one to put over the ragged gash in Hannah's head and one to tuck over the pillow. She would rather wash one towel than bloody bed linens.
"Now the heavy thread and the curved needle," Teresa ordered.
Melody ran off again. The older woman pressed hard against the deep and jagged tear in Hannah's head, but it was no use. When Melody returned, she held the needle out to Teresa who merely glanced at it.
"Thread it," the older woman said. "A good long length."
Melody fumbled with the needle and thread. Once she managed, she offered it to Teresa again.
"There's no knot, girl," Teresa snapped.
"Teresa, I can't," Melody objected.
"Alright. I should make you, but alright." Teresa motioned her over to hold the towel while she took the needle and thread.
Melody scurried around the bed. Teresa took a deep breath, pinched Hannah's skin and put the needle against the wound.
"Wipe away whatever comes out best you can. I need to see. The light in here is no good for something like this," Teresa ordered. Melody steadied herself, towel in hand, but Teresa just stood there.
"Teresa?" Melody prodded.
Teresa blinked. Thinking that this girl's life might be in her hands had paralyzed her. She pulled herself together and said:
"I'm sorry. Keep it clean, Melody. Very clean. I'm worried about infection."
"Maybe we should call Duncan to lay hands now," Melody said, "He could heal her."
"She's done nothing to deserve that kind of healing," Teresa muttered.
"We don't know that, but Duncan would. Wouldn't he?"
"Melody. The cloth. I can't see for all the blood and such."
Melody wiped at Hannah's temple with swift, precise motions. "I'm sorry. I just think–”
"Don't, Melody. Don't think," Teresa warned. She, herself, had done too much of that lately, and it only led to discontent. "It does no good to think. It's not as if Duncan has healed anyone yet. We don't even know if it's possible."
Before Melody could take Teresa to task for such blasphemy, Teresa stabbed the needle through Hannah's skin.
Pop.
One stitch in.
Pop.
One stitch out.
There were fifteen stitches. All were done as neat and tidy as Teresa could do which was not as neat and tidy as Melody would do. Melody's cloth soaked up the blood and the palm of her hand became a map of pink tinged lines and crevices; Teresa's fingernails grew half moons of the sticky stuff. All the while Hannah lay still, barely breathing.
When it was done Teresa held out the needle and dropped it into the soiled towel Melody held out. Wasteful as it was, Melody would throw that needle away; she never wanted to stitch with it again. She would throw the towel away; it would never be clean again. Teresa rinsed her hands in the bowl of water near the bed and then dried them on her apron.
"We've done what we can. Let's get her dressed."
Teresa held Hannah up, one strong arm around her back and the other on the girl's shoulder. Melody unfurled the nightdress and took Hannah's arm to thread it through the long sleeve. It was then that Hannah's eyes opened, big and bright and green like glass. Those eyes stared into Melody's. Hannah's lips moved. She said:
"Don't."
***
"I can do it, dude. I can."
Billy swatted at Duncan's hand, but it was Glenn, not Duncan, who gasped and made an awkward move for the boy. Duncan raised a finger.
"It's fine, Glenn. He's afraid is all. He's like a hurt animal." Duncan's gaze stayed on Billy, but he shot a quick smile at Glenn. "Why don't you see if you can find something for Billy to eat."
"Will you be alright?" Glenn asked.
"Of course, my friend. I'll be alright won't I, Billy?"
Duncan looked down on the longhaired boy. He sat on the small stool, his back up against the wall, his legs splayed, his swollen and misshapen hand in his lap. He was covered in grime and blood, and his face was bruised and scraped. He was beyond hunger, crazed with sleeplessness, and terrorized by his ordeal. He was a cornered mouse and it was laughable that Glenn should be concerned for Duncan's safety, but Duncan didn't laugh easily. Smiles were another matter. He had a repertoire of smiles a politician would envy, so he laid a particularly beatific one on Billy.
"I guess he doesn't feel much like talking, Glenn. Go on now. Find something hot for him to eat. And water. He'll need a lot of water. Oh, and have Melody give you soap and some of her sleeping liquid in a cup of tea."
When Glenn had gone Duncan knelt down in front of Billy, but the boy wouldn't look at him. Duncan tilted his head one way and then the other, trying to catch Billy's eye. As he did, he spoke in the way only Duncan could.
"Billy. Billy. How long has it been since you've eaten? How long since you slept?"
Billy shook his head and pulled his legs up, swinging them away from Duncan. He didn't want this guy close to him. He didn't want to hear his voice. He didn't want to eat. There was only one thing he wanted.
"I want to see Hannah. I need to see Hannah, dude."
"I know. I know," Duncan soothed. "But she's being cared for and we need to get you fixed up, too. Your hand. It's in bad shape. You'll need to rest."
"Now, dude," Billy pulled his legs into his chest and bent over. He waved his good hand. "I just need to know she's breathing. Come on. Just for a minute."
"I'm afraid you're going to have to–” Duncan began, but Billy shot off the stool and dashed for the door before his sentence was finished.
Duncan turned to catch him, but he didn't have to try too hard. Billy's knees buckled before he got half way to the door. Duncan got up, walked across the room, and stood over him. His hooded eyes saw so much: the dried blood in Billy's hair, the way the part in it was not quite centered, how the boy's neck was long and slender in contrast to his broad shoulders. The yellow jacket was too big for him. He wore no belt with his jeans. The way he had fallen pulled the jacket up and his denims down just enough for Duncan to see that he was golden skinned everywhere.
"You are a beautiful, broken being," Duncan said. "And soon you will be visited by such pain that you will not remember who Hannah is."
"Bull," Billy shot back.
Duncan wasted no more breath on him. He put his hands under Billy's arms and tried to lift him up, but he was dead weight. Duncan dropped him back on the floor, and that's when Billy Zuni began to shake. He crossed his arms and buried his face in the nest they made. Duncan knew that hand of his should have caused Billy Zuni to faint with the pain of it, but there was an even deeper pain in the boy. It was a pain of the heart and the soul. Billy Zuni cried and his cries became wails and the wails became a long shriek. Within it all there were words of self-recrimination, pleas for forgiveness, and the name Hannah. Duncan slid down beside him, and put one hand on his back, and his other across his heart as he listened. He took Billy's sorrow for his own.
"My fault. . .If she dies. . .Because of me. . ." Billy wept.
"She won't die, Billy. Hannah is in God's hands. He is merciful. He meant for you to be found and be delivered to us. We'll figure it out, and when we do you will be made whole. You might even be healed. But for now, you are safe. Do you understand? You are safe."
Duncan spoke in his Goldilocks voice: not too harsh, not too soft, just right. Soothed by that voice – or simply reaching the end of his grief – Billy fell silent and so did Duncan. But still Billy's tears fell, and the preacher continued to rub his back through the dirty yellow jacket. When he had stopped shaking and moved his head so that his cheek lay against his arms, when he gave up and gave in to his shock and weakness, when his eyes stared lifelessly at the door, Duncan put his arms around Billy.
"Come on. Find the strength and raise yourself up. I'm here to help you."
Billy blinked. Duncan tightened his grip and finally the boy got up, unsteady and dazed. Duncan had seen this kind of trauma before, these psychic woun
ds, this delayed alarm, this sudden realization that someone you love is in jeopardy. He would heal this boy. He would heal this girl. Not just their bodies, but whatever ailed their souls. Perhaps that was why they had been delivered to Duncan, to test him. Slowly, he guided Billy to the daybed that served as his couch and planned for what glorious things were to come for these two souls who had literally been lost in the wilderness.
"Dude," Billy mumbled. "Please. Please."
"My name is Duncan, Billy."
Duncan sat the boy down. He took one of Billy's legs and put his other hand on Billy's shoulder. He pushed and pulled until Billy lay on the mattress, the fight gone out of him.
"Time to clean you up." Duncan unzipped the yellow jacket. "We can't afford to waste anything here, and I just can't bring myself to cut this fine jacket off you. I'm sorry, Billy, this has to be done."
Duncan took hold of one cuff on the jacket. He pulled fast and sure over Billy's broken hand. The boy howled and writhed in pain, but Duncan went on with his chore. He pushed the jacket under Billy and then took the other sleeve down. Still he talked.
"By the way, I answer to brother. Duncan is fine, too. I just want you to know that we have rules here. Courtesies."
He squared Billy's shoulders. He found a pillow and put it under his head. When that was done, Duncan pulled the stool over and sat close to the bed. He put his hand on Billy's head and petted it.
"We are a very small group here, Billy. We are orderly and your arrival has not been orderly. We are coming upon a great moment in our history. A baptism of faith that is so profound we – all of us – are going to have to focus on that. So, I want you to listen to me very carefully. Are you listening?"
Billy nodded, but it was a reflexive action. The world was crashing down on him. The fear he had held at bay through those hours in the container was devouring him, and the exhaustion of watching over Hannah weighed so heavy on him he could barely breathe. He wasn't sure what he was hearing; he didn't know what he was supposed to say. All he knew was that Hannah was gone, and that he hated the sound of this man's voice. When Duncan put his hand on Billy's shoulder, he felt as if he had been branded.
"God was with you in that horrible place 'cause it's a sure bet you weren't going to be able to save either of your sorry rears, wasn't it, Billy? God called Robert to find you. It is sort of amazing that he called Robert, but there you have it." Duncan pressed harder on Billy's shoulder, his face came closer, and his hooded eyes swung toward the ceiling as if he saw God hovering over the bed. "Yep, Billy, God is watching you now. He will reach out His hand the way I have reached out mine. He will press down hard – even harder than I am pressing now – and he will touch all your wounds and it's going to hurt. I'm telling you this to prepare you. It will hurt bad, inside and out. But when he sees you are worthy, when you prove you've got something worth saving, He will heal you and your friend. There will be no hurt."
"We don't do religion," Billy muttered.
"Of course you do, Billy. Everyone does religion. They do it alone, in the dark, and when they're desperate." Duncan sat back. "I bet you prayed some when you thought you were going to die in that truck. Come on. Admit it. Don't lie now. Tell me you didn't beg for God to save you and heal you. You probably offered everything if he would just save Hannah. 'Oh, God, take me instead,' or 'I'll give you anything you want if you let her live." Duncan chuckled, amused by his mocking. "Tell me you didn't call on every prayer your mother taught you."
"You don't know anything about my mother."
Billy turned his eyes to the ceiling. He didn't want to explain about his mother, and he didn't want this man to see that he was right about praying. Billy had bargained for Hannah's life. If it was God who heard him then it was God. That wasn't religion. That was a low percentage shot.
"Oh, I think all mothers are the same," Duncan went on. "They teach you when you're small, and then leave you when you're big. One way or the other they leave you. If that weren't the case you wouldn't be here. Truth be told, I wouldn't be here either."
Duncan started to open the buttons on Billy's shirt as he talked, but Billy clamped his good hand over Duncan's wrist. His eyes blazed, but his hand shook and his grasp was weak.
"Take your hand away, Billy," Duncan said this as if his limitless patience was being sorely tested. "Take your hand away, now."
They stared at one another. Billy and the man with the half-mast eyes whose calm was frightening and cold, who was stronger than Billy, who spoke as if there was no question but that what he wanted was right. Still, Billy resisted. Duncan raised his brows and pursed his lips.
"You can't help Hannah if you're weak, can you? And you must think highly of her because you didn't think of yourself first. That's a Godly thing to do. So, since we are both Godly men and want the best for those we care about, let go of me. Or," Duncan went on, "is it that you are weak, and Hannah is the Godly one. Could that be it? Could that be why you need her so much? Is Hannah the one God has blessed with strength?"
Billy's hand trembled, his grip loosened.
"That's right. That's good. " Duncan slipped the next button open and the next. "You close your eyes. You rest. You are in good, good hands. The best, really." His eyes flicked over Billy's smooth chest. Duncan unbuttoned the last two buttons and pulled the shirt wide. "Now, I will get you cleaned up. I'll do it myself. I'll even wash your feet, Billy, because that's what I have been called to do. Is that acceptable?"
Billy stayed still, and Duncan paused.
"You should say, 'Yes, Duncan'. That's only polite. To acknowledge me. Isn't it?"
"Yes," Billy answered.
"Duncan." He leaned closer to Billy. "Duncan." And closer still "Say yes, Duncan."
"Yes . . . dude."
CHAPTER 6
"She's awake."
"Let go of her arm, Melody," Teresa directed.
"What?"
"Her arm." Teresa nodded toward it.
"Oh my God. Oh, my God, Teresa." Melody saw the crosshatch of scars on the girl's dark skin and dropped Hannah's arm as if it were a hot poker. "She's for me, isn't she Teresa? She's for me to prove myself. I think I'm going to be sick."
Teresa closed her eyes. It pained her to hear the despair in Melody's voice. They had all thought Pea was Melody's trial to atone for her sin, but this changed everything. Or it seemed to. They wouldn't know for sure until Duncan made a judgment. Melody would be no good to anyone if she panicked so Teresa soothed her.
"No. No. She did this to herself. That's different, Melody. No one did it to her, so she can't be for you."
"And it's not her face, is it? I can't tell if she has a beautiful face. I think she does, but it's hard to tell the way she's beat up." Melody's voice trembled. "What if she has demons? That must be why she cut herself, right? She has demons. Or, what if. . ." Melody's eyes widened in horror. "What if she's the devil?"
"Hush," Teresa said. "We don't have time for nonsense. Pick up her hand. Pick it up, Melody. It can't be what you're thinking. Pick up her hand, put on this nightgown without holding her arm. It distresses her. Go on. Do it."
Melody hesitated, shot one more pointed look at Teresa, and then threaded the nightgown over Hannah's arms, trying not to touch the scars.
"Good girl," Teresa mumbled. "Now, over her head."
When that was done and they were working the gown over her body, Melody said: "We need to tell Duncan before Pea does."
"Pea won't have anything to say about this."
"You're wrong, Teresa. Pea has a say in everything. But you might as well tell me now. What is it you think I should know?"
The women looked toward the door to see Duncan standing there. Neither of them had heard him come up the stairs or into the room. Melody blushed and buttoned the high neck of the nightgown, moving her own body to shield Hannah's nakedness from him.
"She's scarred, Duncan. Teresa says she did it to herself. It's different because she did it to herself, isn't it?"
; He was so close that Melody rushed to finish her chore, pulling the long gown down over Hannah's feet. Before she could arrange the bedding, Duncan put his hands on her shoulders.
"It's alright for me to see her, Melody. Haven't I seen you and Robert and all the rest? Haven't I looked upon all your infirmities without judgment? If Hannah is in need, I should know." He squeezed Melody once, twice, a third time to coax her to his way of thinking. "Show me what you've seen. Please show me, so I can help her."
"It's her arms, Duncan. She's cut her arms. There are scars and she doesn't want them touched," Teresa said.
As she spoke, Duncan put Melody behind him and moved closer to the bed. His eyelashes fluttered. He took the tips of Hannah's fingers between his own and raised up her hand as though he might kiss it. Instead, he unbuttoned the cuff and slid the sleeve up gently. Hannah did not open her eyes. She did not tell him to stop. He rotated her arm and looked at the scars.
"How sad," he sighed.
"If she has demons, Duncan, why didn't they save her?" Melody asked.
"They would be no match for Robert's faith," Duncan answered. "But I think her demons are long gone. These scars are old. I think she is for you, Melody. Don't you think so Teresa?"
Not wanting Melody to carry a heavier burden then she already did, Teresa chose her words carefully "Possibly. Maybe you should ask Pea."
"Pea spoke of upheavals and tests. Isn't that why we are all together? To test our resolve, and our faith, and earn our way back into God's good grace? I would say what happened today is an upheaval. I would say this girl is particularly suited as a test for Melody."
"You might be right." Teresa agreed, albeit reluctantly. In this flock, they were all impressionable, but Melody was a kind and sweet soul. She was the most impressionable of all and there was only so much she could take. Still, Teresa had no right to tell Duncan anything. She had no rights to Duncan at all anymore.
"What about the boy? What about Billy?" Teresa asked.
"Perhaps he's for me," Duncan said. "I'm thinking he's my challenge."
Dark Witness Page 5