by A Lonergan
He ran his fingers over the stubble on his jaw. “I only allow a few to go in there, it is my special place. But, just because I haven’t allowed you there yet, doesn’t mean you aren’t special to me.”
I didn’t want to stir up trouble.. but to Hel with it. “That’s not what Wyna told me, but who am I to judge? I had never kissed a man before you. Maybe I should have gotten more experience before I agreed to this courtship. I wouldn’t want to be lacking.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
The King
I wanted to act like I wasn’t phased by her words but all I could do was stare at her as she skipped away like she hadn’t delivered a fatal blow to my emotions. I just watched her go, her midnight hair swishing across her back as her skirts swirled around her knees. She had insisted on pants and when her mother had denied the request she had cut slits in all of her dresses all the way to her thighs. I wasn’t complaining, but it would be a problem if we got past all of these issues between us. Damn it if it didn’t bother all of my guard too. I watched them especially close when she swirled by. They were just as phased as I was, if not more.
Not like they were real issues, but problems nonetheless. And for whatever reason, I wasn’t surprised that Wyna was behind some more foul play. Just when I thought she liked Willow, she went and pulled this. She would have to get it together or stay away from my courtship. I couldn’t tell if Willow had taken her words seriously, but it could have really affected our relationship if the midnight beauty didn’t have a fierce tongue.
I uncurled my fists and tried to get my head back on straight. I was still reeling from what Nico had said, and then she went and knocked me off my feet with that little number of info. Experience wasn’t something I needed her to have, in fact I preferred her in her current glory and the thought of her being with anyone else sent a strike of lightning down my spine. I wouldn’t have considered myself a jealous person, but the thought of Willow in the arms of another was enough to light my fire.
“You wish to speak to me?” Nico said from the shadows. I didn’t even jump, though he had startled me, I figured he was hanging around. As much as he liked Willow, the woman was dangerous and my captain wasn’t going to have my demise on his head or conscious because of a pretty woman.
“Would you like to explain why you told Willow that or were you goading me on?” I kept my voice light, even though I wasn’t feeling light.
“Sometimes you need an extra push,” he paused and smiled, all teeth. “You need to be reminded of what you have, and that she will be snatched up by another. You don’t own her, and she is one of the most beautiful women in this kingdom. I will not let you forget it, because if you lose her, it will be the worst thing to ever happen to you.”
I swallowed and processed his words. Nico was wise beyond his years and he would see things the way I couldn’t. Sometimes it was hard to see beyond the black and white, and see the gray areas of the world. It also reminded me of Freya, and if that wasn’t a punch to the gut. I didn’t know what was.
"Come with me." I waved Nico toward the front of the Castle where carts of vegetables, and meats were being wheeled in. It would be an easy feat to escape the castle without the rest of my guards on delivery day. All the local farmers brought their best produce for the castle, and we paid them handsomely. I grabbed a cloak from Nico's fingers and we slipped through the shadows. It had been years since I wanted to sneak from the castle walls, but lately they felt confined. It didn't help that the leaders of each magical housing in the village was demanding I have an advisors circle. An advisors circle made up of their people.
I hadn't denied them or accepted, but as the days wore on, it got harder and harder to hold the kingdom together. It was a smart move to have advisors, but it would take time to consider the right ones, and right now, we didn't have the time to do it. We were on the brink of war; and I couldn't risk having all the kingdom in uproar and panic.
The wind tried to pick my hood up from my face, but wasn't successful. My magic wove around me in a tight ball, and Nico watched me curiously from under his hood. "How are you going to talk to her?"
"I don't know," I paused and looked down at my hands. "I have really rutted all of this up."
"You're under a lot of pressure, My King." He bowed like we hadn't just been on casual terms, but outside the castle walls was different. We couldn't risk it.
"What should I do?" I asked. The venders around us yelled at each other and joked as there was a slight pause in the traffic that usually went through the market. They had a time to take a break and relax before the next wave came through.
"I have never had anything serious before, I don't think I am the right person to ask." Nico shrugged, and the movement forced his cloak open, which revealed his sword hilt.
All the venders went silent. So much for trying to be discreet. When I looked away from my guard, all of the venders were down on their knees. I tried my hardest to give them an easy going smile, but I was just as nervous as they were. "Please, continue your banter, it was a nice relief to the stress of my day."
A vender closest to me held out a bushel of flowers. "For your Lady, she will surely love these. They are the darkest blossom in all of the realm. Her darkness will call to them, as well as their's will call to her."
The petals on the little flowers were as dark as midnight, with light veins down the centers of each one. Even the stems and the leaves were dark. "Where did you get these?" I reached out and held them in my hands. They smelled divine. I touched the petals and one of them immediately shriveled up and fell to the cobblestones at my feet. I frowned.
"Beautiful, yes, but you look with your eyes and not your hands. Some beauty can't be praised with the hands, or contained. Some beauty must be watched from afar." the man said. His eyes swirled blue, a magic hidden under the surface. A curse perhaps. Curses were well known in the smaller villages outside of the kingdoms walls. Their magic was without rule, and there wasn't much order in the country side. They did what they wanted and very rarely did we enforce the city rules on them. But, curses were illegal.
The venders words rang through my mind like a bad omen. He was right, some beauties were meant to be loved from afar, and that was all. Maybe that was my problem.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Willow
It hadn't been decided yet, but I had a feeling we're going to march right into the Mystic Mountains. As worrisome as it was, it excited me. The thought of an adventure that didn't involve murdering for the Emperor sounded like a fun time. The only problem with this fun time, would be if Cal ruined it with all of his broody good looks.
I tossed another tunic into the pile of clothes I would be bringing if we did go. My mother sighed from the window. Her hair was pulled up onto her head today, and she wore a regal evening gown. It had golden embroidery on the sleeves and hem, while the fabric was a deep red. It reminded me of all the blood I had spilled. I frowned and turned back to the wardrobe.
"I really wish you would stop cutting your clothing." she sighed again.
I bit back my smile. "I will try when you stop insisting I wear dresses."
"You realize you will be Queen someday." Mother stood from her spot and eyed my pile wearily.
"Might be Queen. You never know."
Mother clutched her breast in shock. "Why would you say such a thing?"
"I could die." I said quickly then tried to mask my next words even quicker. "Or we could split and I could ride away into the Mystic Mountains and do epic things."
Her eyes grew as big as tea cups. "Why- I- Have-"
I patted her hand and laughed softly. "I'm just kidding. Though adventures of my own free will do sound nice."
She smiled at me and patted my hand back. "Yes, they do. To be a free woman would be a wondrous thing after everything you and I have been through. Do you want to be Queen?"
It was the first time anyone had asked me what I wanted. I considered her question, while I eyed the pile at our fee
t. "I don't know. I think it sounds nice, and imagining my life without Cal would be hard, but I imagine I could live without all this. I have lived in some pretty poor conditions."
Mother nodded, and a few strands of dark hair fell from her braids and landed on her shoulder. "I want you to be happy."
I frowned and spoke my mind. It felt nice to be able to do it and not worry if we are being spied on. "I'm afraid I'm not enough for him."
Mother snorted. "What would make you think such a thing?"
I opened my mouth to tell her what had transpired earlier in the day, when there was a knock on the door. My mother tilted her head, before she turned to answer the door. I smoothed my erratic hair from my face and tried to take the panic from my expression. When my mother turned around she was smiling, probably the biggest smile I had ever seen. I raised my hands in question and the door opened up wider. Sitting in front of the door was a huge vase full of black hellabores. The only reason I knew what kind of flower they were was because they were used for poison. Poisons I was well versed in. Mother cocked a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.
"Well, who are they from?" I crossed my arms over my chest. I was still feeling defiant.
My mother rolled her eyes and picked up the glass vase. She placed them on the entry way table and plucked the ivory card from the leaves and began to read out loud. She cleared her throat. "These beautiful flowers were presented to me in the marketplace. Their beauty stood out in the sea of roses, just like your unique beauty does in this kingdom. Please, accept this invitation to a private dinner tonight. We have much to discuss and plan. Yours, Cal."
"You were overthinking it all. Don't you see? He probably wants to discuss marriage!" My mother beamed, but I had to let her down and I wasn't very good at doing it softly.
"Or he wants to discuss the plans for war." I flicked my hair over my shoulder. It seemed to be the obvious thing.
"Is that all you think of? Strategizing and adventures?" She turned away from me and threw her hands in the air.
"We didn't have the most time to discuss who we are when we were together. Telling you about my trips to other kingdoms was the only thing I knew I could discuss with you. Now, I am free to do just about whatever it is I wish and I love it. I love every second of being able to plan out and map my life." Sadness overtook me, because if I was to become Queen, all the mapping and strategizing I had done for myself, in the last few weeks, would be in vain.
"I recognize that face." My mother wrapped her arms around my shoulders and held me close. I could smell the crushed roses that she kept under the pockets in her sleeves, and it made me wrinkle my nose. When we lived in Arinal, those kinds of deodorizers weren't needed. The salt air constantly flowed through the buildings, even the castle and kept everyone fresh. If that didn't help, there was always different kinds of coconut sprays but they made my head hurt. "All these plans you have made for yourself. You think you won't get to live them out?"
"What if he says we are supposed to march into the mountains and he makes me stay behind?" Dread coursed through me. "What if that's what he wants to talk about?"
"Knowing you, you will sneak out and best all of them just to make a point." She was right. There wasn't a time I had let any man best me, or tell me what to do unless it came down to the Emperor. "It will all work out, and if he tries to force you to do anything, we have coin..." She bit her lip before she continued. "and I'm sure we could travel farther south or we could go north. We could even travel through the Mystic Mountains if you want to."
I shook my head. "We would never survive. But I like the way you think. If you could give all of this up, we could find a home that would serve us and not the other way around."
My mother cupped my face between her hands. "I would give up anything to be able to be near you till the end of my days. Until the Maiden of Death takes me, I will stand by your side, no matter the conditions we face."
I had been afraid. I had been scared she wouldn't want to give up the luxuries of being a Lady, but all I could feel was honesty and it confirmed that everything would indeed, be all right.
I pulled away from her embrace and laughed. "By the way, don't eat the flowers. They're poisonous."
"Beautiful, and deadly. Doesn't that sound familiar?" my mother asked.
"Don't forget dark."
As much as my mother was willing to give up palaces and extravagant clothing, she would not let me walk down to dinner without formal wear on. She tugged at the strings on the corset and I gasped.
"You have to be kidding me." She tugged again and I lost my balance on my chaise. I flopped forward, and considered crawling away.
"Don't make me call a servant girl up here." She bent over in frustration. I was surprised that she could actually bend over. I figured she would have lost some kind of mobility with her corset being tighter than my own.
"How do you even move?" I said, out of breath. My fingers brushed the floor as I dangled over the side of the small furniture.
"Eventually you become so civilized, it's second nature." She huffed, like it was common sense.
"Rutting unlikely." I muttered. She yanked the strings that seemed to be connected to my life force for good measure and I squeaked.
"Language." she said through gritted teeth.
"I do not want to wear this thing." I growled back at her.
"Sometimes you need to be civilized." She tugged one last time for good measure, and I thought I was going to die at any moment.
"Sometimes you need to know when to stop. Cal likes me for me, not all this fluff and foolery." I struggled to stand up. How did anyone manage to do anything in these?
The long purple dress settled over the death trap and when my mother twirled her finger for me to turn around, I thought for sure, I would pass out right there.
"You look divine."
I grimaced at her. Fine? I didn't want to look fine. I wanted to be free of this corset and proper dressing. I wanted to wear tunics and britches. I wanted to wear boots that I could hide weapons in and get dirty. The only good thing about a dress was how many things I could hide under it. So I strapped my sheaths up my thighs, and waited for my mother to leave. With all these skirts in place, there was no way I would be able to access my daggers if I needed to. I grabbed a few of the under garments, and cut down them, like I had done to all of my other dresses, except I kept the outer part of my dress untouched. I patted my skirts down and made sure everything was in it's proper placement. The fact that I had been able to bend to get my daggers on my legs had been a feat in itself. If anything, I could have Cal cut down the lacing on my corset and... my thoughts stopped there and got heated in just a few seconds.
If he was cutting my corset off, it wouldn't be for combat, that was for sure. I could feel my face turning red as my mother made her way back into the dressing chamber.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
I shook my head, and touched my cheeks. "Nothing. I was just thinking about dinner. Silly things."
She cocked a knowing eyebrow and smirked at me. "Of course, dinner... or dessert. Do you need a potion for tonight to take before that? Do you need me to explain what happens between a man and a woman?"
I ducked my head, picked my skirts up and stepped around her. There was no need for additional comments. I had had plenty of those talks with the nurses, and caretakers in the Emperor's palace. Just because there had been no experience in my life didn't mean there wasn't any knowledge. I was well versed in the potions she spoke of, too. I had a potion every single morning at the castle in Arinal to prevent accidents from happening. Even though I always made sure they didn't. Any man that got too handsy got a knife in his belly, and well, romantic interests weren't my thing when they could be used against you.
"No, I think I know what to do just fine."
"Well, of course. You have been here for awhile now. You don't have to tell me everything, I just figured you would tell me when it happened."
I pressed my palm into m
y forehead and whirled around. "That's because it hasn't happened and you're making me feel super, rutting, uncomfortable."
Her olive complexion was stained dark red. She was just as embarrassed as I was, if not more. I pressed my hands against my cheeks and laughed. "Thanks for trying."
She shrugged her shoulders and turned to the wash basin. A knock at the door freed me from the awkward tension that had filled the room. I rushed to pull it open, but the quick movements didn't work well with my corset and had me stumbling into the ebony stained doors. Nico stood on the other side of the threshold. He frowned.
"What is it? What's wrong? Is there something on my face?" I touched my hair self-consciously.
He shook his head. "No, you look incredible, but also incredibly uncomfortable."
The redhead extended his elbow to me and I placed my hand in the crook of it. "Yes, I am, but I have no choice in the matter." I said, under my breath.
"You can't take that thing off?"
I sighed. "Not without help."
"I-" Nico started, then snapped his mouth shut.
"I don't think that would be wise."
"I was going to suggest Cal help you." We rounded a corner, we weren't too far from the dining hall now.
"I don't think he would have any objections to that."
Nico laughed. "No, I don't suppose he would. And if he does, find yourself someone new."
Chapter Thirty-Nine
The King
“You look like you’d rather be anywhere but here.” I cut into the steak on my plate, as I tried to keep my voice light.
Willow shifted uncomfortably. “It’s not that I don’t want to be here. It’s that this corset is slowly suffocating me.” She smiled but her voice gave it all away.
I chewed for a minute, ignoring the burst of flavors on my tongue. “Your mother? I don’t see you getting into a dress willingly.”