by Skye Turner
Sighing, I lean back. She falls with me and snuggles into the crook of my arm, laying her head on my chest. “I know it does. It’s been almost two years, Lex. He’s not thinking about you, so you need to stop thinking about him.”
Sitting up, she looks at me. Her back straightens. “You think I don’t know that, E?! You think I don’t see the shit in all the tabloids?! I can’t go anywhere without seeing his fucking face! He’s screwing a different woman every night. Fuck him. I’m trying, ok?” She punches the floor and I sit up. “I dated Josh for a bit. I even had sex with him, thinking it would help, but it didn’t. And I’m not like him!” She punches the floor again and I take her hands in mine. “I’m NOT like Jude Delecroix!”
Pulling her to me, I hug her. “No, love, you aren’t. You’re good. I just want you to be happy.”
She kisses my cheek and lays her head on my shoulder again. “I am happy, E. You, Bradi, and Micah are enough. My heart is full.” Then, she looks at me. “You’re happy with Joe, right? I mean y’all have been together for a year now.”
Laughing, I grab a pillow and hit her with it. “Yeah, I’m happy. I love him. I never thought I’d have someone like him. I’m happy.”
Grinning at me, she says, “I’m happy you’re happy. He’s one hot piece of man meat!”
Just then my computer pings with a new instant message. Laughing, I hop up and go check it. It’s from Joe. “I miss you.”
Smiling, I type back, “Miss you too. Enjoy your trip and I’ll talk to you later.”
Another ping comes through a few minutes later. “Will do. Hey, Erik?”
I glance over my shoulder to see Lexi sweeping the broken ornament into a dust-pan, before quickly typing out a reply. “Yeah?”
There’s no reply so, frowning I get up and go take the pan from Lex. As I’m emptying it into the trash can, I hear the sound I’ve been waiting for, and race back to the desktop to read. “I love you, ok?”
I know he loves me. That’s a little weird. And why did he call me Erik?! He always calls me EJ.
Lexi sees me frowning at the screen and walks over. “What’s up, E? Why the frown?”
Shrugging and shaking my head to clear it, I turn to her and smile. “Nothing, love. Joe just seems a little off. I’m sure it’s nothing. So, are we decorating this tree, or what?”
Looking at the computer once more, I turn as she grabs my hand, and we decorate the rest of the tree.
We fall asleep lying on the floor in the glow of the tree lights. My mind is wandering at Joe’s last message as I drift into sleep. Why would he write the “ok” at the end of it? And why did he write out my name?
The ringing of Lexi’s cell phone wakes us up about 2AM. She starts and reaches blindly for it before mumbling a sleepy “hello.” She sits up and I can immediately tell something is wrong. “Wait… no, stop… slow down…. What happened, Bradi? Are you sure? I think you should wait until the morning and talk to him first… No… Ok… Of course, I’ll come get you. What’s the address? Ok, I’ll be there as fast as I can…”
She looks at me and I see the worry in her eyes. “I have to go get Bradi. Something happened. She’s leaving Micah.”
Wait, what? Bradi is leaving Micah? Why? Those two are made for each other. What the hell happened?
“It’s 2AM, Lex. I’m coming with you.” I’m already pulling my shoes on and grabbing a sweatshirt. “What happened?”
Lexi is wringing her hands. “I don’t know. I just know she needs us to come get her. We’ll figure it out. Let’s go.”
We head out to Micah’s parents’ and neither of us speaks. As we pull through the massive gates and reach the house, we see Bradi waiting outside. She heads straight to the car. Getting out, I grab her bags and throw them into the trunk. “What’s going on, Bradi? What did he do?”
She looks at me and I am shocked by the complete desolation I see on her face. “Nothing. He didn’t do anything. I just don’t want to be with him. I don’t want this.” She gestures towards the house.
Something is not right. What the hell happened?
She looks at me and I see the pain in her eyes. “Can we just go, E?”
Shaking my head and throwing one more look over my shoulder at the house, I gesture for her to get in the car. The girls huddle together in the back seat, whispering, as I take them back to the dorm.
Bradi refuses to come to my room, since it’s also Micah’s room, so we head to theirs. As she kicks off her shoes and curls up under the covers, we hear her cry herself to sleep.
The feeling of foreboding I got from Joe’s message intensifies.
At 6AM the next morning, Bradi’s cell phone starts ringing. One call after the other, for over an hour. Then Lexi’s phone rings and Bradi tells her to ignore it. Finally. at 7:30AM, my cell rings. Micah is my friend. I’m not ignoring his call, and so I take it in the hall.
Running my hand over my face to prepare myself, I answer, “Hello.”
Immediately, I’m greeted by a frantic Micah. “Erik! Bradi is gone! She left. She left me! She left me a note. She’s not answering her phone. Why is she not answering her phone? Neither is Lexi. What the fuck is going on? Why did she leave me? Is she with you? What the hell is going on?”
Once I can get a word in, I start. “She’s ok. She’s here. Lexi is with her. I don’t know. Dude, what happened?”
After ten minutes of talking to him, I head back into the room and face the two girls. Bradi is sitting in the middle of her bed, hugging a pillow, and Lexi is looking helplessly at me. I speak. “Bradi, Micah is frantic. He doesn’t know what happened or why you left. What happened?”
She turns her head and glares at me. “Nothing. I just don’t want to be with him. This weekend showed me that.”
Crossing my arms, I look at her incredulously. “You ‘don’t want to be with him?’ No offense, Bradi, but you’re full of shit!”
She jumps off of the bed and pokes me in the chest, then she shoves me. “Fuck you, Erik! Maybe you should worry about your own love life and stay out of mine. I tried the relationship thing, and it doesn’t work for me. I don’t want to be with him!” Then she starts throwing things into a bag.
I stare her down the entire time. I don’t know what’s going on, but something is. And what did she mean “worry about my own love life?” She brushes past me and heads to the door. I grab her arm as she walks past. “Bradi.” She won’t look at me. So, I shake her a little. “Bradi!” She pierces me with her green eyes and I stagger at the raw pain in them. “Bradi?” I question.
Shaking her head as tears roll down her face, she whispers, “Let it go, Erik. Just let it go.” She reaches for the door and opens it. And runs straight into Micah.
He gasps and reaches for her arms. Looking at him, she says, “I don’t love you and I don’t want to be with you, Micah. Don’t call me again. I’m sorry.” Then she brushes past him and leaves him staring after her in the hallway of the dorm on Christmas Eve.
Lexi looks helplessly from Bradi’s retreating figure to Micah and then to me. Taking his arm, I lead him to our room as Lexi sighs and closes their door.
Once in our room, I settle a shell-shocked Micah into a chair and grab the bottle of Jack he keeps hidden in the desk. Opening it, I hand it to him. He never even looks at it, just swallows. And then takes another swig.
Finally, the silence is too much and he looks at me. He looks like shit. “What the fuck happened, Erik? What did I do?” His voice fades on the last word.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I just look at him. “I don’t know. Something happened. You have no idea what?”
Shaking his head, he takes another shot. “No. I don’t know. We were fine. When we went to bed last night… we were fine. I have to go back. Home, I mean. I ran out of there after talking to you. But, my mom keeps calling. I have to go home.”
Taking the bottle from him, I squat down. “Do that, man. I’ll bring you home. You can’t drive like this. Go home, spend some time wit
h your family. Try to enjoy the holidays. I’ll see you soon and you can call if you need to. Just give her some space for a bit.”
He groans. “She lied.”
I’m taken aback. “What?”
He looks at me and his eyes are wild, but glazed. “She fucking lied. She said she didn’t love me. She lied.”
Standing him up, I can’t help but agree with him. But right now, I have to get my roommate and friend home for Christmas.
Chapter Seven
Bradi
Six years ago
God, I hurt. I should probably get up. But, why? Three days of staying drunker than shit to avoid the pain… I need to get up.
I’m at my mom’s house. Of course she’s not here and there are no decorations, but that works out well for me. I don’t want to celebrate the holidays anyway. I need to go to the store. There’s no food in this house and my stomach desperately needs nourishment. I should probably also check my phone. Where is it again?
After taking a shower and brushing my teeth, I find my phone thrown under the couch. I have seventy-eight missed calls. Sighing, I hit delete on all of them and grab my purse. My phone is almost dead, so I plug it into the cigarette lighter to charge. My thoughts are too loud, so I turn up the radio and try to drown them out.
The phone rings and I glance down, expecting to see Micah’s number, but it’s Lexi. I answer and we talk for a minute. She asks when I’m coming back and I tell her tomorrow. She then tells me that Micah is coming back tomorrow, too. I almost drop the phone as the pain shoots through my stomach so intensely my hands go weak. I reassure her I’m fine and tell her again I’ll be back tomorrow. I need to make sure he gets that we’re done.
In the store, I grab a few things to make sandwiches and use my fake ID to get some wine. As I head to the check-out, I bump into someone because my mind is elsewhere. I lose my balance and almost topple over, but large hands steady me to keep me from falling and then I hear, “Hey, Bradi.”
Looking up, I see the face of Mack, Micah’s frat brother. He’s always looking at me and though he’s attractive, he’s never done anything for me. He’s also a jerk and sleeps with anything that’s willing. And he’s been hitting on me for over a year.
I reply, “Hey, Mack.”
His eyes trail my body and he smirks. “What are you up to?”
I smile back and reply, “Nothing much, just grabbing a few things. Been a long few days. What are you up to?”
His eyes light up at my conversation, since I usually brush him off. “About to head back to the house. It’s empty for the most part; everyone is still gone for break.” Then, he smirks. “Hey, do you want to come over and hang out?”
I mull it over and make a decision. “Yeah, I do. How about tomorrow?”
His eyes widen. I’ve shocked him. Then he smiles confidently. “Sounds good. I’ll be there all day. Come whenever you want to.” Then he reaches out and touches my face. I try not to recoil. “See you tomorrow, sexy.” After I nod, he walks away, whistling.
I head home and make a sandwich. Then get drunk, as I realize what I’m about to do. Eventually, I pass out.
The next afternoon, I call Lexi as I reach the frat house to let her know I’m on campus and I’ll be at the room later. I tell her where I am and hang up before she can scold me or ask me what I’m doing. Then, I turn my phone off as I walk to the door.
Here we go. Once I do this, it’s done and he’ll never talk to me again. He’ll hate me. But he’ll get everything he ever dreamed of before I came into his life. Ok, Bradi. Put on your poker face.
Mack opens the door a few minutes later and smiles appreciatively as he takes in my low-rise tight trousers and cropped sweater. I’ve done my face up and my hair is cascading in waves down my back. I look sexy and I know it. I just wish I didn’t want to throw up.
He pulls me in and we sit on the leather couch in the living room. Some action movie is on the big screen and he immediately pulls me into his side. I force myself to relax into him. He smells nice, but the scent is overpowering me, and I feel light headed. Within a minute, his hand is rubbing the bare skin of my stomach. Seeing a bottle of tequila on the coffee table, I swipe it, and take a few swigs, coughing as the fiery liquid burns down my throat. He laughs and asks me to pass the bottle. I do. He takes a shot straight from the bottle and then holds it to my mouth. Tipping my head back, I allow him to help me drink.
Setting the bottle on the floor, he leans over me. The alcohol is fast-acting and I lie back on the couch. He kisses me and I let him though I’m not here. I’m far, far away. His lips leave mine and trail down my neck. He bites me and pulls my sweater up, exposing my white lace bra to his gaze. My sweater is bunched around my neck and his mouth is all over my breasts. He groans and says, “You’re just as delicious as I knew you’d be. I knew I’d fuck you one day.” He pulls my shirt off.
Silent tears run down my face and I turn my head as I run my hands over his back and pull his shirt up. He sits up and takes it off. His chest is broad and muscled, but I don’t really want to be doing this.
Suck it up, Bradi. You know why you came here. This is the only way.
Grabbing his head, I pull him back down and kiss him feverishly. His hands unsnap my pants and he pushes them down my legs. Then he pulls back and just looks at me.
I’m sprawled out on a couch in the middle of the living room of the frat house in just my lace bra and panties and he’s devouring me with his gaze. I just want to cover myself, but I push it back, and smile at him. He growls and starts kissing up my thighs. As he gets to the junction, I stop him. He can’t do that. I’m not letting him do that.
He growls in frustration. “Why are you stopping me? I want to taste you.”
Using my foot, I push him up and look at him. “No. You aren’t doing that. This is just fucking.” Then, pulling off my panties, I fling them and say, “So, Mack, fuck me.”
He smiles at me and pushes his pants off as he mutters, “Fine with me. I’ve been wanting to fuck you for a year.”
I grab a condom from the pile I noticed on the coffee table and rip it open with my teeth before handing it to him.
He quirks an eyebrow at me and says, “You’re not going to put it on me?”
“No.” Then, opening my legs, I show him what he’s been so fascinated with, and run my fingers through the moist curls.
Groaning, he applies the condom and licks his lips. “God, I can’t wait to fuck that perfect pussy. I want to know what tamed Stevens.”
My back goes rigid and a sharp pain shoots through my chest. I gasp from the pain and am about to burst into tears. But, I push ahead and grit out, “So shut the fuck up and get on with it already.”
Grabbing my legs, he surges in with no warning, and starts to move.
Congratulations, Bradi. You’re fucking someone who’s not the man you love. You are a worthless whore after all. Micah is better off without you.
As Mack thrusts, I cry silently and just hope he finishes soon. My eyes are closed, so I don’t see the door open. Just as he’s groaning and about to finish, I hear a moan. It sounds like an animal dying. My eyes fly open and I look towards the living room door.
A white-faced Micah is there. I gasp. Mack looks over his shoulder and smiles at Micah, then he rapidly thrusts a few more times, before he cums with a shout.
Micah is standing there in shock. His face is devoid of any color. Then, as Mack smiles at him, he comes out of it. He rushes across the room and grabs Mack, pulling him off of me.
I want to scream. I want to vomit. This is it.
Grabbing a blanket off of the back of the couch, I wrap it around myself and start to shake. Micah and Mack are screaming at each other with fists clenched.
Then Micah swings his gaze to me and the raw pain on his face makes my knees give out. I fall into the couch. The couch where I just fucked Mack.
His eyes are bleak as he demands, “Why, Bradi? WHY?”
I square my shoulders and look
at him, though it kills me to do so. “Because, Micah. I told you. I don’t want you. I don’t want to be with you.”
His shoulders slump and he just stares at me. Mack brushes by Micah, jarring him with his shoulder as he removes the condom and tosses it towards the trash. It misses and lands on the floor next to an old pizza box. He laughs and says, “Told you she was a whore. But damn man, a great fast fuck.” Then he turns and walks into the hallway. He calls over his shoulder as he gets there, “Thanks for taking the donation, beautiful. Going to shower. You can let yourself out.”
I gasp. Though this is exactly what I wanted to happen, I just want to die. Micah is not looking at me anymore. He’s watching Mack walk down the hall naked and he’s clenching and unclenching his hands like he wants to strangle him. He’s trying to regulate his breathing, but refusing to look at me.
I just watch him and wait for it.
Finally, he turns and faces me. The pain is gone, the expression in his eyes makes me shrink back. It’s pure hate.
“Are you just going to sit there naked, Bradi? Put some fucking clothes on and get out of my fraternity.”
His voice is so cold. I want to say something, but I don’t know what to say. I just want to die.
I pull on the lessons my mother taught me and arch my back as I drop the blanket. His eyes can’t help it, they trace my nakedness. I see a flash of desire, and then it’s masked, and he looks at me with indifference. He just watches me as I get dressed and as I step into my shoes, I see him swallow. My legs can barely hold my weight, but I’ll never let him see it.
Flipping my hair, I stare at him. Neither of us speaks. I just want to leave. I need to get the hell out of here before I break down. He smiles at me coldly and it sends a pang straight through my gut, like someone punched me. I gasp at the hate I see on his face. “What are you waiting for? Whores don’t get to stay. You know the way out.” And he turns on his heel and leaves me standing in the living room as he heads towards the kitchen. He never looks back.