by Skye Turner
Reflexively, I grab her by the hair and pull her backwards. She falls onto her ass on the ground screaming and I hold her there by her shirt, while she scrambles to try to get up. Never taking my eyes off of Micah, who’s just staring at me like he’s bored, I say, “You’re done here, chick. Playtime is over. Move along now.”
I see Lexi from the corner of my eyes. She’s standing beside me, staring at the girl, and looking from me to Micah. I’m furious and he’s just staring. I don’t realize I still have a hold of her shirt. Finally, Lexi says, “Um, Bradi. Let her shirt go. She can’t leave if you don’t let it go.”
The girl starts sputtering and I look down at her. Her lips are all red and puffy and she’s clawing at my hand with her nails. “Let me go, you crazy bitch! I’m not leaving unless Micah says he wants me to.”
My eyes flash and she recoils. “Oh, yes, you are leaving. Right now.” Pointing at the house, I make my position clear.
She looks from me to Micah and asks incredulously, “You want me to leave?”
He shrugs and takes a swig from the bottle next to him on the swing.
She stands up and shoves me before stomping off towards the house, and screaming over her shoulder. “Fucking stupid bitch! And Micah, I never thought you were an asshole. Screw you!”
I stand in front of the swing staring at him and he just stares back. Neither of us want to be the first to look away. Finally, he breaks my gaze and looks at Lexi. “Hey, Lex. Having fun?”
I growl and look over my shoulder at her. She looks at me with wide eyes and is playing with a ring on her finger. She keeps twirling it. “Hey, Micah. Um, yeah. Sure. I’m just going to um… I’m going to go sit on the patio, ok?”
I nod at her and as she walks away, I pierce Micah with my livid gaze again.
He looks at me and laughs cruelly as he takes another swig. Then he sits up and props his hands on his knees while still staring at me. “You need something, Bradi? Mack is in the house. Hell, there’s a whole house full of guys you haven’t fucked yet.”
Gasping, I step back and my head swims from the pain.
Ok then. This is how we’re going to do it. I was right. He hates me. Ok, well I’m still getting out what I came to say.
Looking at him, I lick my lips. My throat is so dry, I think I’m going to start coughing. I start. “I know Mack is in the house. I already saw him.” He snorts, but I keep going. “I don’t want to have anything to do with Mack. I never did.”
He cuts me with his beautiful brown eyes and the pain is so intense it takes my breath. “Really? Are you fucking serious right now, Bradi? You left me. At my parents’ house! On Christmas Eve! No explanation. You just left. Then when I followed you and you wouldn’t talk to me. You disappeared and I don’t know why. I finally think I’m going to get an explanation, I mean, why the fuck else would Lexi tell me you were at my frat house?! And I walk in and see you, the fucking woman I love, being fucked on the couch like a whore by the one person in this house I cannot stand. And ‘you never wanted anything to do with him?’ What a fucking joke.”
Tears are running down my face and I want to walk over to him and have him hold me, but I know I don’t have the right.
Swallowing the tears back so I can push forward with the rest, I begin again. “You’re right. I did. I did all of that.”
He stares at me and a single tear falls. I watch it roll down his beautiful, perfect face. The face I love. The face I dream about. Shaking his head, he asks the question I need to explain. “WHY?”
Looking at the stars, I let the silent tears fall. Then, gazing back at him and memorizing the face I’ll never forget, I decide to tell him everything. “I’ve told you about my mother. About growing up and man after man. I told you I didn’t want that for myself. I never wanted that for myself. I came here with the intention of living it up in college. Having a little fun, but never getting too involved. Then… then I met you. From the moment I saw you, my very first day here… you ensnared me. You were the only guy I thought about. I fought it because I didn’t want it. I was terrified. Wanting you meant you could hurt me. It gave you power.” He doesn’t speak. He just watches me. “When I was a child, about five, my mom started seeing this man. She was happy. For the first time ever, she was truly happy. She loved him. She was faithful to him and they were together for years. Years. She loved him and thought he loved her. She thought he’d marry her. He never thought the same thing. He used her. He took everything she had and after three years, he came over one day and told her he was marrying someone else. He was a very successful man… in politics and had big plans and my mother wasn’t the type of bride he needed. She was devastated. She changed after that. She was cold and calculating. Every man was a plaything and there were never emotions involved. She’s never loved anyone else.”
My tears are falling freely now and I can barely see him through them, but he’s still listening. “Micah, when you asked me to come home with you for Christmas… I was- I was terrified. I don’t do the relationship thing. I’ve never been serious about anyone. But, you wanted me to meet your parents. You wanted to introduce me to them and I was scared to death, but I was also thrilled. You thought I was worthy. I truly loved your mother and your house is beautiful. You have everything. A loving family, a warm, inviting home, and your mother was so welcoming. It blew me away. You blow me away.”
He stops me. His hand cuts off my words. “If I’m so perfect then, why did you leave me?”
I reach for his hand since somehow I’m now sitting in the grass in front of him, looking up at him, but he moves it away. It cuts like a knife. I smile sadly. “I’m getting to that. Let me finish.” He nods. “That night, I woke up and you were gone with your family. I got ready and decided to go down to wait for you. I looked at all of the photos on the walls and eventually made my way into the library. I was looking at the photo of you and your dad. You know the one on the mantle?”
He nods again and I see him gripping the bottle. His knuckles are white.
“I was looking at the photo and someone started talking to me. I was immediately uncomfortable, but not sure why. And then- then I recognized him. Your uncle, Max… he was the man. The man my mother was involved with when I was a child.”
Micah gasps and the bottle falls out of his hands. It hits the ground with a thud. I watch as the liquid spills out and soaks into the grass. He starts shaking his head, “Noooo.”
Nodding, I keep going. I have to get through this. “Yes, your uncle was the man my mother loved. The man she wasn’t good enough for. He told me you had high aspirations. He said you had big plans and your family was counting on you to make them come true. He told me that I would distract you and I would take your dream from you. He told me that- he said that if I loved you… I would walk away.”
He’s shaking his head back and forth. “What? No…. No, he wouldn’t say that. He knew- he knew your mother?!” He punches the swing and I hear the wood splinter.
I hurry to get the rest out. “He did and remembering what happened with my mother and seeing what your family was like, I wanted better for you. So- so, I left. I left even though it killed me. I left and was cold and cruel. But you wouldn’t stop. You kept fighting for me. So- So, I did… I did the one thing I knew would drive you away. I slept with Mack. I wanted you to find out. I knew that you wouldn’t forgive me. I’m sorry.” I’m sobbing and shaking, but I have to finish. I have to say the most important part. “I betrayed you and I did it because I believed him. Your uncle, I believed him. He said you would fight for me and he was right, so I did the one thing I knew would destroy you. I betrayed you. I’m so sorry. I know you can never forgive me and that you hate me, and I understand. I hate me too. But I had to tell you. You need to be you. Follow your dreams. Live your life.” I stand up and as I stumble, trying to find my footing, I say one final thing, “You deserve better than me. I love you, and that’s why I know you deserve better than me.”
I have to go. Dear God, I have to get out of h
ere. I can’t go back through the house. Please let Lexi be here. I need to go back to my room.
“Bradi. Bradi, stop.” His voice is choked up, but I don’t stop. I keep walking blindly towards the house. My arm is wrenched back and I’m spun around and then, he’s in my face. I can only see an outline of him through my tears. “STOP!” He shakes me. “You don’t get to decide my life for me! I decide my life. I decide what I want and who I want. I decide! Me. Not you. Not Max. Not anyone but ME! I want to hate you. God, I want to hate you.” He shakes me again and I gasp at the rage in his voice. “I wish I hated you. But I don’t. I love you. I… Love… You… I wasn’t looking for you, but once you stormed into my life, that was it. There is no other woman for me. There’s just you. ‘Follow my dreams?’ YOU ARE MY DREAMS! My future, the only future I can exist in, has you in it! Am I furious? Yes. Do I want to beat you? Yes. Do I want to rage at you for putting me through this? Yes. But more than any of that, I love you and you love me and we belong together.”
He leans down and breathes into my hair and I start sobbing again. Grabbing on to him, I wrap my arms around his waist and cry into his chest. I smell him and my soul is instantly soothed. Looking up at him, I ask the most important question, “How can you ever forgive me?”
Looking into his eyes, I see them light up. For the first time, I see a spark in them again. Leaning down, he gently kisses my mouth. Pulling back, he looks deep into my eyes. “I can forgive you, because I love you, Bradi. Is this fucked up beyond belief? Absofuckinglutely. You are headstrong and selfish at times. You make me so mad I could scream. Sometimes, I want to beat you. Yes, beat your ass. You walk into the room and instantly all of the spare air is sucked away. You are a hurricane, but you’re my hurricane, and those are also the reasons I love you.”
Cupping his chiseled face with my hands, I smile a full-on smile. “You still love me?”
Smiling back, he leans in and kisses me. When we come up for air, he says, “Yes. I never stopped.”
“I love you, too. So much. You are my everything, Micah.”
He whispers, “I’m going to need you to say that again.”
Laughing, I reply, “I love you. I love you. I love you. I don’t deserve you, but I love you.”
Getting serious, he states firmly. “You DO deserve me. You are worthy, Bradi. You’re it for me. Don’t ever put me through that again.”
Brushing my fingers over the planes of his face, I whisper back. “I will never betray you again. I promise. I love you.”
Somehow, in the middle of our reconciliation, Lexi slipped away. There was a note on our dorm door, “Bunking with Erik. Lexi”, so Micah and I got to make up in my dorm room all night long.
The last thing I hear as I fall asleep with the first rays of dawn filtering through the blinds is, “I love you, Bradi St. James.”
Chapter Ten
Erik
Four years ago
I can’t believe we’re doing this. Lexi and I are at the bank with our business plan and we’re meeting with the president. He’s a friend of my family. This is the last step, and if he likes it, we’re really doing this. We’re going into business together. I wanted to wait until Lexi graduates next year, but she wants to do it now, since her course load is not that heavy. She wants everything lined up for once she does graduate.
We’re alone in his office and both of us are on pins and needles as we wait to see what Mr. Richards decides. Lexi is picking at her nails and the pretty pink polish is all chipped. Reaching over, I take her hand in mine and trace soothing circles on the top. She sighs and looks at me with a smile.
“He’s going to love it, Erik. You wrote up an amazing plan. I’m so proud of you.”
Smiling back, I say, “I did, huh? I killed it. How can he say no?”
She laughs heartily and scoots closer to me. Just then, the door opens and Mr. Richards walks in. He’s an attractive older guy in his early fifties. He was college buddies with my dad. He sits down at his desk and puts his glasses on, while he spreads the plan out across his desk. Then, he steeples his fingers and looks at Lexi and I over the top.
I start to get nervous when he doesn’t speak. I’m still holding Lexi’s hand. She squeezes. We’re both just waiting for a reaction. Finally, he smiles and claps. “Congratulations, Mr. Jenson and Miss Sloane. We’ll be approving the business loan for Java and Sweeties. This is an amazing plan and we firmly believe this is a great investment.”
Lexi squeals and I smile at her. Mr. Richards smiles at both of us and then turns the top paper towards us. “If you’ll both sign here, I’ll start the process of signing your life away.”
Letting go of Lexi’s hand, I reach for Mr. Richards’s hand and give it a firm shake. “Thank you, sir. Thank you. We’re very excited. We won’t fail.”
Lexi scoots up and shakes his hand too. “Thank you, Mr. Richards. Erik and I are both hard workers and we are determined to make this a successful endeavor.”
Laughing at her eagerness, he drums his fingers on his desk. “Of that I have no doubt, Miss Sloane. Congratulations again.”
After two hours and a mountain of paperwork, Lexi and I leave the bank. Grabbing her, I spin her around on the sidewalk. Leaning down, I kiss her nose. “We did it, Miss Sloane! We’re going into business together. Just like we always planned.”
She smiles back and a trace of the sadness she always hides crosses her face, before it’s quickly masked. “Yes, we did, Mr. Jenson. This is one dream that will come true. We’re going to rock this! I’m giving this 1000%, Erik. I’m so glad we’re doing this together.”
We embrace again and decide to call Bradi and Micah to come meet us for a celebratory drink. They agree and we head to Bruno’s. It’s five o’clock somewhere.
Three hours later, we’re all happily intoxicated and the place is starting to get more traffic. There are only a few tables left open and Bradi decides it’s time to kick start the party. She startles us by jumping up and almost knocking her chair over. She grabs Micah and plants a steamy kiss on him while Lex and I roll our eyes. Lexi mumbles, “Get a room,” and Micah winks at her. Then, Bradi grabs Lexi and they race over to the DJ booth where the guy is organizing his music. After some animated gesturing, he shrugs and turns to flip a switch. Music pounds through the speakers and the girls race back with huge smiles and grab us, pulling us onto the dance floor.
Some Jay Sean comes on and the girls’ hips start moving. Within minutes, the floor is full and everyone is having fun. Bradi is all over Micah, as usual… not that he complains. That girl is so wild, but they are so in love. I get a little jealous sometimes. Lexi wraps her arms around me and we groove.
We dance for a few songs until we’re all hot and thirsty. Then we leave the now crowded floor and head back to the table. Micah leaves to get us some drinks. The girls are looking around and I’m just sitting, trying to catch my breath. Bradi smirks and pulls Lexi down, then starts talking animatedly and pointing. Lex looks, then smiles and leans over, motioning me to meet her over the table top. What the hell?
I lean down and give her my ear. She shouts to be heard above the music. “Hottie at three o’clock is seriously checking you out. I think it’s that cop.” My brows rise and she wiggles her brows at me and sticks her tongue out. Laughing, I chance a look over my shoulder. Yeah, he’s looking. He sees me catch him and he shrugs and smiles. I smile back.
He’s a regular here too and we’ve chatted a time or two, but nothing has ever come of it. He’s tall and thick with muscle and a friend of mine said he was a cop here in town when I subtly asked. His thick, dark blond hair is short, but a little wavy and it almost looks like he gets it highlighted. He’s very nice on the eyes and the couple of times we’ve spoken he was pleasant.
Lexi calls my name and I turn to look at her. Her eyes are lit up with alcohol and she’s smirking at me. I know that look. “So, are you going to go talk to him, E?”
Laughing, I ask her, “Why do you care? Why don’t you find
a hottie of your own to pass some time with tonight? I will if you will.”
Her face clouds for a second and then she smiles at me. “I’m good. I don’t need or want that. I’m going to have another drink, while you go talk to Officer Hottie over there, and then I’m going home to curl up with my Nora Roberts book.”
“Why are you staying while I talk to him?” I joke with her.
Reaching over and tapping my nose with her finger, she chuckles. “Because, I know you. You won’t do it. You’ll come home with me and we’ll curl up like boring old people on the couch.” She shakes her head no. “Nope, that ain’t happening. That man has been ogling you for a month now and I see you checking him out. I’m going home and you are going to at least talk to,” she wiggles her brows “or better yet, bring that fine specimen home to have a good time. You deserve it, Erik.”
Bradi has been listening to the conversation and puts in her two cents. “Or better yet, you get him to come home with you, Erik, and Lex, you join in on that. How long has it been since you’ve had sex?”
I choke and Lexi looks at Bradi like she’s insane, which we already know she is. Surprisingly, she can still shock us after all this time.
Lexi catches her breath. “What, Bradi?! Oh my God, like Erik would have sex with me! You need to put whatever the hell you’re drinking down.” Bradi laughs. Lexi continues. “And you know exactly how long it’s been since I’ve had sex.” She blushes.
Bradi checks her nails and rolls her eyes at Lexi. “Smut books and B.O.B. don’t count. I mean a flesh and blood penis.”
I start coughing from holding in my laughter. Micah walks up and catches the last part. He shakes his head and kisses the top of Bradi’s wet curls. “Baby, really? Stop bugging Lexi about her sex life. Or, lack of one.” He smirks as she sputters trying to hold in her laughter.
“Why the hell are y’all so worried about my sex life? I’m good. Really. And Erik, either you go talk to Officer Hottie, or I’m sending Bradi over there. You know you don’t want that!” She chuckles at her idea.