by Lolah Lace
Joel stripped my clothes off and dressed me in my pajamas as I bawled. He put me to bed and curled up in bed behind me. He held me while I cried myself to sleep. I was glad he didn’t leave me alone. I needed to be held. I needed to cry my eyes out.
The experience didn’t make me feel dirty. I didn’t come out of it feeling like a whore. I felt like my boyfriend broke up with me. But he didn’t because he wasn’t my boyfriend. He was two-time Academy award winning actor Antonio Lambrusco.
I fucking hated him.
***
The money was in my account on Monday morning. Joel made me check my account. Joel said was worried about me. He Facetimed me every day. The days went by and I got better. Three days later I got a special package. I thought it was the designer clothes it didn’t want. But it wasn’t. I opened the front door of my apartment to a delivery guy. He was holding a bouquet of a dozen white roses in a glass vase.
“Are you Kelby?”
“Yeah.”
“These are for you.” He quickly shoved the flowers into my waiting hands.
“Who?”
“There’s a card. Have a good day pretty girl.”
He walked away and I just stood there in my open doorway. Tonio is the only one that has ever said that to me. But why would he send me flowers? He left me an emotional mess.
I stepped back inside my place and closed the door. I put the flowers down on the coffee table. I fished around for the note card that was taped to the vase and in a white envelope. I removed it and tore it open.
I sat down on the couch to read it.
Pretty girl,
My behavior was unforgivable. I don’t have a legitimate reason for treating you less than unkind. I am a complicated man with insecurities and demons that I have never learned to manage and control. This is probably why I’m so good at what I do. It’s no excuse for my behavior, just insight into my complexities. We will never see each other again. This note shouldn’t matter but I didn’t want to end things so negatively. I know how words can wound people for decades. I’m sorry. Hurting you was no in my plan. I only wanted to give you pleasure and erase some of my own pain. I apologize again.
Warm regards with your future endeavors.
This note is covered in the NDA.
I leaned back on the couch and took a few deep breaths before I reread the note. Maybe it was designed to make me feel better but I didn’t. I felt like someone had stuck a finger in the hole in my heart. I wondered why he treated me so bad and now I had answers that only lead to more questions.
I knew that I would never ever be able to look at another one of his films. I wanted to avoid seeing him ever again. I guess I was supposed to be happy he apologized but I wasn’t happy. I just wanted to distance myself from everything associated with Antonio Lambrusco.
CHAPTER 18
I was fifty thousand dollars richer. I couldn’t handle what happened. I wasn’t cut out for that life. In my mind, I had established some kind of connection with him. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I was in love. But if I was in love, I refused to admit it. So there’s that. Joel kept calling although he knew I would never ever escort again. He was worried and his concern seemed genuine. He wasn’t offering me any jobs.
It was a week later and I couldn’t get Tonio out of my mind. I only dressed today because Lahasia threatened to kick the door down. She was taking me to the mall. I think she was worried about me. I was worried about me. I wanted to snap the hell out of it. He was just a mortal man with good dick. Bitch, get over him already!
She picked me up and we walked around the mall. I didn’t have much to say but I tried to keep my sulking to a minimum. I was tired of all the walking and was happy when Lahasia suggested we grab something from the food court.
I knew this was when she was going to grill me. I held everything in for a week. It was time. I wanted to speak about it. I wanted to banish him from my thoughts. I just wanted to move on. Act like he was never inside my mind and my body.
“So Kelby Kreme, I was trying to give you a little space to process things.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you made me leave the apartment.”
“It’s time to get back to society.”
“True.”
“First let me say I’m sorry. I don’t know what he did to you. I thought he would be a regular John. Clearly, he wasn’t. Did he hurt you?”
“He was rough sometimes but it wasn’t unbearable. He didn’t hurt me, hurt me. He was nice sometimes. We talked and he seemed like I don’t know— interesting. We fucked a lot.”
“Huh. I know you had to sign a confidentiality agreement. I know this guy was big time because Joel wouldn’t even tell me who he was.”
“I did sign it. I don’t care about that stupid agreement. He was famous.”
“If you tell me who it is and someone finds out, you can forfeit your money.”
“Are you going to tell anyone?”
“No, of course not. But those agreements scare me. It a legal contract. I’m nosey and I really want to know. But I can’t let you just tell me his name.”
“He’s so famous you can figure it out.”
“Seriously?” Lahasia stopped playing with her plastic fork.
“Yeah just ask me some questions.”
“Okay famous. Let me see. Sports?”
“No.”
“Singer?”
“No.”
“Actor?”
“Yes.” I shook my head.
“Huh, a famous White actor. Drama, action movies or comedies?”
“Everything.”
“Award winning actor?”
“Yes, with two well-deserved Oscars recently.”
She had on her thinking face. “There’s only one person I can think of that fits. He doesn’t seem like the type that would pay for sex.”
“Well, men are unpredictable.”
“He is always dating supermodels?”
“Yep.”
“Antonio Lambrusco?” She posed it as a question but she knew she was right.
“Yes.” I shrugged like his name wasn’t a big ass deal.
“He swirls?”
“I guess so— behind closed doors.”
“Oh shit. He does have a lot of swag.” I thought so too. I didn’t want to comment on that. “I can tell that this was difficult for you regardless of who the guy was.”
“It is hard for me to separate sex from love. I can admit that. I could never do that again.”
“I understand. A few good things did come from the experience.”
“Money,” I smirked. I knew how much money meant to Lahasia.
“Yes, and you know fo’ sho’ that you’re completely over Dave. You can move out of your apartment and never look back. Another man was able to get into your head.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Dave who?” I laughed out loud and it was the first time I laughed since I returned from my weekend with Tonio.
“Girl you a mess.”
Being with Lahasia was just what I needed. Slowly but surely I got back to being me. A month later Joel dropped the designer clothes off at my apartment. I put them in the closet. Seeing them didn’t have an effect on me. I was all good. The magic Toni did on my pussy was wearing off.
***
Joel had set me up with his realtor buddy. I was going to move out of this apartment and into a condo that gave me the option to buy after a year. That worked for me. Things went smoothly even though I didn’t have a job. Joel modified some check stubs and made it look like I had been working for him for a year. I really only worked for him for three nights. I made enough money so that it looked like an annual salary.
Joel kept in contact and tried to get me to sell some ass but I just wasn’t an escort. Maybe he was joking. He would check up on me and I appreciated those calls. I had less than two months in my apartment when Joel called. I had talked to him the day before so this call was suspect.
“Hey, Joel.”
“K
elby, sweetheart.” That was his please come work for me voice.
“No way, Joel. I’m going to hang up on you.”
“No, no, please don’t.”
“I’m not a hooker and I know what you’re going to say.”
“Sweetheart, no you don’t know what I’m going to say.”
I took a deep breath. “What?”
“Mr. T contacted me.”
“Why? Does he want his money back?” I delivered the question with a mountain of snark.
He paused as my heart raced. “No, of course not. The money is yours.”
“What then?”
“He’s coming to town. He wants to see you again.”
Now I was the one on pause. “He does?”
“Yes, honey. He must’ve had a good time. I know you did.”
“He wants to see me?” I tried to hold back my excitement but I was sure Joel could hear it in my voice.
“Yes, he wants another weekend, Friday night to Sunday night. The pay is the same.”
“Why?”
“You made an impression. You have a platinum pussy. He has a thing for brown girls. I don’t know. I’m not in his head.”
“He was an asshole the last day I saw him.”
“He’s famous. Famous people, they all are assholes.”
“How long do I have to think about it?”
“Kelby, you got to be kidding me. You told me he was the best you ever had.”
Shit! I told Joel that the first day back at my apartment when I was a blubbering mess. “I know but you don’t understand. He is very powerful.”
“I know exactly who he is.”
“He hurt me last time.”
“No, you hurt yourself sweetie when you become emotionally invested in his famous cock.”
“I didn’t try to do that. I’m not a pro. I don’t know how to fuck for money.”
“Okay look, I’m sorry. I know you’re not used to this. But this is a lot of money for you. I have a beautiful home and a fucking new Porsche in my driveway. I don’t need his money. I need you to want his money. Stop struggling when you don’t have to. You can buy this condo you’ll be renting soon. You can get a car. Go to school, travel or just chill for a few years. Take the money, honey. Cry about how you thought he loved you later.”
Everything he was saying was true. I needed to just get this money. I couldn’t lie. It wasn’t about the money. I wanted to see him again. I had things to say to him. I needed closure. I needed to hear his voice. He had broken my heart. I needed to put my heart back together and not give him the power to break it again. I was mad at him when I didn’t have the right. He was never mine.
His words were the words that come in the heat of passion. It’s not his fault that I fell in love with him. I’m sure every woman falls in love with him. He’s Antonio Lambrusco. He’s rich, famous and disgustingly handsome. I told me that he would make me love him. I didn’t believe him.
My words own rang over and over in my head ‘I could never do that again.’ Now I could never say never.
Tonio was coming back to town and he wanted to see me again. I pretended that I wasn’t excited. I’m sure Joel could see through me. I longed for Tonio and I dreamed about him almost every night. He was a tough act to follow. I knew it would be a long time before I could date or sleep with another man. He filled me up during our weekend. I couldn’t stop smiling when I knew there would be another weekend. I told Joel yes.
Like an immature teen, I obsessed with our next encounter. Does he really like me? Does a second date mean something? Has he slept with someone else? Does he think I’ve changed? Should I wear my hair different? This will hurt and feel good all at the same time.
CHAPTER 19
Things were set up a little differently this time around. I was to meet Tonio at the same location. Joel wanted me to drive there on my own. He said I was a big girl. He loaned me his Land Rover. Driving up in my beater was not a good look. Joel gave me the code and I was free to go inside.
I drove up and parked outside. I ran my hands over the lion statues before I went inside. I dressed nice and sexy. I walked into the foyer and into the living room. I placed my purse on the couch. I walked into the kitchen and looked out the sliding glass patio door. The place was still beautiful.
“So we meet again.” I turned to the sound of his voice. God, he was gorgeous times ten. “I didn’t think you would show up.”
“I’m here.” I placed a hand on my hip.
“Yes, you are here.” His eyes roamed my body from head to toe. “You changed your hair.” He noticed. I had big curls. I went back to Kay on Michigan Avenue to get my hair styled.
“I do that sometimes. Change.”
“I love it.”
“Thank you.” I slowly walked past him and into the living room. I let him follow me.
“Filming got pushed back a few weeks. I fly to Costa Rica next week.”
“Lucky for me.”
“Did you miss me?”
I turned from the fireplace to see him standing by the piano. “I see you quite often on television.” I lied. I would never watch any of his movies. Too painful.
“You watch my movies?”
“Who doesn’t?” I shrugged. I couldn’t believe how confident I was acting. I was that cool, calm, chick today.
“I am kind of famous and kind of visible.”
“Just a little.” I was trying to not sound so cold. But man I was frosty as fuck when it came to him.
“Why are you so far away? I think you should greet me properly.”
“Why because you paid me to.”
“No, because I asked you to.”
I raised an eyebrow. I walked the long walk over to where he stood. My heels were making more noise than I hoped. But I did sound sexy and dangerous. I looked up in his eyes and he smiled so widely. I couldn’t help but do the same. I rested my hands on his chest.
“I missed you.” I felt bold enough to say it. So I did.
“I missed you too pretty girl.” He bent to kiss me and I held on to his shirt because his kisses could literally knock me off my feet.
“Did you get the flowers?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“I’m not a writer but I really hoped you had accepted my apology.”
“I did.”
He snaked his hand around underneath my hair and around the back of my neck. “Have you been a good girl?”
“Yes, I think so. What would make me a bad girl?”
“I didn’t make you get tested again. Whom have you been with since me?”
“It’s only been a month and a half.” I frowned.
“A month is long enough to fuck someone else.”
“I haven’t been with anyone else. I just don’t sleep with any Tom, Dick, and Harry.”
“Very funny. Harry still asks me who you are?”
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him I fucked a pretty girl.”
“What did he say to that?”
“He wanted to know what you looked like.”
“How did you describe me?”
“I lied. I said you were Swedish, five-ten, with green eyes, long blonde hair and huge tits.”
“Why did you lie?”
“I lied because I didn’t want to share the memory of you with him. Your skin. Your face. Your lips. Your hips. They all belong to me.”
“You believe that, don’t you?”
He arched an eyebrow at me. “Don’t you?”
“Belong to you.” I twisted my lips. “This is a completely unique situation.”
“I’ve been called a lot of things but never a unique situation.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. So there were no other men in between your thighs.”
“No. I’m okay by myself for the time being.”
“That’s good.” He leaned in and licked my neck. “I don’t want to share you.”
I wanted to ask him which superm
odel he had slept with in the last few weeks but I was afraid he would tell the truth and it would hurt my feelings.
“Who said anything about sharing.” I leaned up to peck him on the lips.
He took my hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed my knuckles. He flipped my hand over and kissed the inside of my palm. He softly kissed the inside of my wrists.
“I think we should go to bed.”
“You think so.”
“I want to show you how much I missed you.”
“Show me.” We held hands and he slowly walked me up the stairs. He led me into the master bedroom. Everything was the same. Panic coursed through my veins as I remembered how he treated me.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t like this room anymore.”
“It sounds like you don’t like me anymore.”
“I never liked you.”
He chuckled. “You don’t have to like me. I know that you love me and that is so much better.”
He was in my face. “I know what you’re going to do?”
“And what’s that?”
“Push me.”
“Do you want me to be violent with you?”
“No, I don’t.”
“It’s ladies choice this weekend. What do you want?”
“I want you to lay down on the bed and let me sit on your face.”
“I think that’s an excellent choice.” I stood still and watched as Tonio stripped naked. He didn’t care about nudity. I didn’t care about it either when I was with him.
I couldn’t believe I was back here. This would probably be the last time I saw him so I had to make it count.
***
My cloud nine started Friday night and ended Sunday night. The sex was better than I remembered. He was better but so much the same. Our bodies blended together because we had a shared history. I dreaded Sunday night. Tonio had to fly back to LA at 2 AM. He had a car service that would take him to the airport.
Leaving him was completely different the second time around. We talked about it. I left first. It hurt but I didn’t cry. Something was good. I think he felt something with me. I think he’ll come back to see me again. I think I’m delusional. Why would the third time be a charm?