Her heart clenched, hurt in ways that felt all too familiar, but somehow it was even rawer now. And how confusing was that? She wasn’t supposed to become attached to Grey, that had never been the plan. “Did you tell him that it was up to me if I wanted to be with him?” she asked.
“Of course, I told him that,” Grey replied, though there was no softness in his voice, only conviction in the choice he made. “It is your choice. Even if you chose him now, I would not stand in your way.” His eyes narrowed, mouth pinched tightly before he added, “But I don’t give a shit about Seth. Nor would I help him get you back into his life.”
She paused and drew in a long, deep breath, thinking everything through. Of course, she understood Grey’s point. Still, his reasoning felt cold, detached, so not the relationship she’d ever see herself in. “You didn’t say anything else to him?” she asked.
“Why would I?” He took a step forward as if that settled everything.
“No.” She raised her hand, stopping him. “Please don’t.” Her mind swam with questions. He sounded so reasonable, but there was a thought tickling the back of her mind that she couldn’t reach.
“Evie, come here.” He held his arms wide. “Don’t be mad.”
“No,” she finally said, swallowing down humiliation. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be mad at you about any of this. We had a deal, and your deal didn’t include looking out for me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you.”
Something crossed his face then. Irritation, maybe. “Do not apologize.”
The problem was, she was mad, and she couldn’t ignore that. Because if anyone had been kind and supportive to her throughout all this, it was Grey. The guy she hadn’t expected that from at all. She noted the uncertainty in his eyes. That, though, couldn’t switch the sudden direction of her mind. It was like with all the emotion stuffed back and under control, logic took over.
At one time, this arrangement seemed okay because it was just sex for a few days. She could do that with Grey. No emotions, only raw, physical lust. But over the course of the weekend, things had changed. She realized now that maybe they’d changed for her and not him. And that explained why she felt so burned. She was beginning to like Grey. A lot, it seemed. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“What can’t you do?”
“This,” she said, drawing on all her strength to ensure she kept talking. “I can’t continue with this lie anymore. I mean, honestly, Grey, what are we doing here?”
He arched a single eyebrow. “We’re enjoying each other, Evie. It’s quite simple.”
She’d heard what he said, but somehow she couldn’t believe that anymore. “We enjoyed each other. But I’ve been fooling myself. Faking a relationship, that can’t work.” She moved into the closet and grabbed her suitcase. She knew what she had to do, as much as she’d known she had to leave Grand Rapids for Seattle. Because she’d always been that girl. Once she was decided on a plan, there was no stopping her.
When she returned to Grey and placed her suitcase on the bed, she continued, “Nothing good can come from this. You know it. I know it. We need to stop pretending.”
“Evie,” Grey said, more softly now. “You’re upset, and that’s completely understandable, but you’re making this about us when it shouldn’t be.”
“But it is about us,” she implored, unable to look at him, scared if she did, she’d lose her nerve. “This weekend was amazing, Grey. Honestly, maybe the happiest time in my life—”
His firm finger tucked under her chin, tilting her head up to meet his emotion-packed eyes. “Then what exactly is the problem?”
“The problem is that it’s not real.” She quickly moved away, aware of how easily she could lose herself in him and unzipped her suitcase. “It’s been a game, and you know that. You wanted to win, so you set up a scenario where you could, and I agreed because I didn’t want to face Seth and Holly alone.”
Grey visibly tensed, cursed, and folded his arms. “Why do women always have to make things so damn complicated?”
“Because we are complicated beings,” Evie said, returning to the closet. She took all her clothes off the hangers then returned to her case, tossing them inside before grabbing her toiletries from the bathroom.
When she added those to the case, too, Grey hadn’t moved an inch—he stood statue-still. “Why are you packing your bag?” Grey asked gruffly.
“I’m going to go stay with Holly.”
“You don’t need to do that,” he stated, grabbing her hand. “We fly home tomorrow morning. There’s no reason to change our plans because of what Holly and Seth are going through. Nothing has to change, Evie.”
“Everything has changed.” She ignored the way her skin sizzled at his touch and moved away from him. “The fact that I’m upset that you kept this from me means that I’ve changed. I can’t put myself in a situation where I’m the kind of woman you told me about.”
“What woman?”
“The woman who becomes too attached.”
At his silence, the tension in the room grew thick and heavy. She took her undergarments from the dresser, feeling her throat tighten.
Grey’s weighted voice came behind her. “I don’t understand any of this, Evie. Why are you even thinking this? Yesterday was amazing. Why can’t we continue where we stopped? Because I chose not to tell you about Seth’s feelings for you? You’re honestly that upset about that?”
“No, that’s not what I’m upset about.” She zipped up her suitcase, turning to him, laying her heart on the line. “I’m upset because you chose to think of how his feelings would affect your weekend over how they would affect me.” She placed her suitcase on the floor and then rolled it behind her as she approached. “And you made that decision because this was only sex. That’s okay. You don’t owe me a damn thing.” She paused, staring into his mesmerizing eyes and sighed. “You and I are not the same, Grey. We don’t want the same things out of life. And that’s okay, too. But I did this…” She lifted her chin and stated proudly, “I did this because I wanted you. I let myself believe that I could never care for you. But then you ended up being this amazing guy who surprised me in ways I totally wasn’t expecting you to. And while those are the best kind of surprises, they’re also dangerous.”
Grey’s nostrils flared, but that was the only indication that what she said even affected him.
She’d never been one to hide her feelings, and she knew she couldn’t hide them now. “This weekend gave me more than you can even know. I feel like you helped me find my way back to myself, and for that, I’ll always be grateful. But this, us continuing to pretend that this is real…it isn’t good for me. In fact, it’s setting me up to fail because I’ll want things from you that I shouldn’t.”
With her heart screaming at her to stay, but her mind telling her to go, she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his flexed jaw muscles. Determined she was making the right choice for herself, she took a step away from him then stopped, realizing she wasn’t done yet. She glanced over her shoulder, and added, “You know what, Grey, I do believe in karma like you do,” she explained. “I believe that we had this time together for a reason. You got me in the way you wanted me, and I found healing in the most unexpected way. That was our thing, and no one can ever take that away from us.”
She moved to the door, and when she whisked it open, Grey’s voice blistered. “Evie.”
Her emotions in her throat, she turned back to him and waited for him to say anything…for him to ask her to stay because he wanted her there for more reasons than to only have her body.
She smiled softly at his silence and officially ended the fantasy. “Goodbye, Grey.”
Chapter 12
Five days.
One hundred and twenty hours.
Seven thousand and two hundred minutes.
That’s how long Grey had been trying to exist without Evie, and he’d been failing miserably. He had left Seattle one man and had come home another. Everything
looked different around him. His life was unrecognizable. Where his world once seemed bright with optimism, now it appeared dull in comparison.
In his office, sitting behind his metal desk, he regarded the drafting table across the room, aware that there were clients to make happy. With taking the long weekend off from work unexpectedly, he was already days behind on a couple of projects. But new ideas weren’t coming. He’d never been less inspired in his life. What seemed important before no longer mattered anymore, only Evie did.
She was everywhere, in his mind, even in his damn office, haunting him wherever he went. His thoughts kept circling back to her, again and again, chasing him. All he wanted to do was forget her and move on, and even that had been impossible to do.
He heaved a long sigh and turned in his chair, facing the bank of windows, glancing out at the city. Seattle’s skyline had always inspired him. Some of the buildings climbing high into the clouds were his designs, and some were buildings that had been there for years. But this skyline was the reason he’d gotten into architecture.
When he went to his father’s office every so often as a child, he’d been mesmerized by the lines of the buildings, the curves. They were perfect, like Evie’s…
“Enough,” he growled to himself, rising from his seat.
Though, even then, his gaze fell on the desk that Evie had used while she worked for his company. Fuck, she won’t leave me alone. He pressed his fists against the table and breathed deeply, his chest tightening, muscles surging with adrenaline. He wasn’t sure how much more of this punishment he could endure.
“Who pissed you off?”
When he slowly lifted his head and turned toward the doorway, he found his assistant, Janet, entering his office. Today, her short, blond bob was curled slightly, her fingernails painted a bright blue, matching the color of her fitted dress. “No one pissed me off,” he said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black slacks.
Janet’s brows rose, her soft brown eyes searching his. “Mmhmm,” was all she said as she stopped in front of his desk, a file folder in her hands. “Okay, well that’s a lie, but let’s move on. Your first meeting today is in an hour, which means we have the chance to talk about what’s going on with you before you kick-start your day.”
He leaned his back against the window and arched a brow at her. “Do I look like I want to talk about it?”
She gave him a very thorough once-over then nodded. “Yes.”
“No,” he corrected.
She smirked, giving him that hard look she owned so well. “All right, so then let me clarify. You might not want to talk about it, but you should, because if you don’t, you are going to explode and take your anger out on someone who doesn’t deserve it.”
While she had a point, Janet could be as intrusive as his mother, and he certainly didn’t let his mother push him around. “Do you have a reason for coming in here, more than just to annoy me?” he asked.
“Of course, I do.” She moved to the black, industrial chairs in front of his desk and took a seat before addressing him again. “We need to discuss something very serious, in fact.”
“Which is?” he asked, thinking he didn’t even want to know.
She crossed her legs, placing the folder on her lap and opening it, revealing papers. “I have the final check for Evie Richards here.” She sorted through the file and pulled out a slip of paper. “While I could have asked someone in accounting to sign off on it, I wondered if you might like to deliver the check to her yourself.”
Grey read between the lines and narrowed his eyes at her. The twinkle in the depths of hers sold her out. He moved to the front of his desk, resting against the edge and crossing his arms. “Janet, have you been spying on me?”
Her gaze lifted to the ceiling as she nibbled her lip. She finally said, “Spying sounds so harsh. I checked in on you.”
He gave her a flat look. “And the difference between the two is…?”
“Well, originally, I was concerned when you decided to go on some random vacation completely out of the blue,” she explained. “Which by the way is the first vacation you’ve been on since”—she pursed her lips, pondering—“actually, I can’t recall a single time you’ve been on a personal trip since I started working here.”
“That’s because I haven’t been on one,” he confirmed.
She nodded as if her point had been proved. “Then I’m sure you can understand I was quite worried about you.”
“What exactly were you afraid of?”
She held his stare. “That you’d joined a cult.”
He chuckled. Her dramatics always amused him. “You do realize that in itself is crazy,” he pointed out.
“It is not,” she defended, hands pressing against the file folder. “People join cults all the time. One day, they are normal people. The next, they are giving away all their money and moving to remote areas never to be seen or heard from again.”
“You thought that I would actually be that person?”
“Totally plausible,” she said, eyes bright with conspiracies clearly running rampant in her mind. “So then, what kind of assistant and friend would I be not to make sure you weren’t throwing your life away?”
He stared into her firm gaze and restrained his chuckle. “You watch too much television.”
“Maybe.” She half shrugged with a soft smile, leaning back in the chair. “But let’s get back to the point. Because you were acting so unlike yourself, and out of concern for you, I checked on who were you were traveling with.”
Janet would be privy to that information, too. She had total access to his life, including his credit cards because she organized his life for him and he implicitly trusted her. Regardless… “You could have asked me who I went with and I would have told you.”
“Well, yes,” she drawled, giving him a knowing look. “But what if you really had gone insane? You might have lied to me and given them all your money or something.”
He stared at her blankly. “Do you honestly believe that I’m the type of man who would join a cult?”
“Weirder things have happened,” she said, dead serious. “They happen every day, all over our country.”
He snorted and shook his head at her. “I think it might be time to ban you from television. Soon, you’ll have a secret room with conspiracy theories taped to the walls.”
“Who says I don’t already.”
A long pause.
She gave a full belly laugh. “Just kidding. I’m not at that level yet, but I was concerned. Truly.”
“Well, thank you for being worried, I do appreciate that.” Janet had been with him long enough that she was like family, and he couldn’t imagine his life without her. But that meant she was clingy like his mother. Always hounding him, always in his business, even if it was done out of love. “But I’m not in a cult, and I don’t foresee joining one in the future either.”
“Good,” she said with a firm nod. “However, you still have a choice to make.” She shook the check in her hand and added, “You can deliver this check to Evie yourself. Or you can stay in your office and keep pouting.”
“I. Do. Not. Pout.” He frowned.
“Oh, yeah?” She pointed at his face, a big smile on hers. “Pout. Scowl. Glare. Whatever way you want to look at it, you’re miserable. So instead of sitting in here and hating the world, go do something about it.”
Grey glanced at the check in Janet’s hand. His heart raced at the thought of seeing Evie again. He wanted to see her…touch her…taste her, of course, he did. But he’d done enough already to shove himself into Evie’s life, and that hadn’t ended well for her. Actually, it hadn’t ended well for anyone.
From what the staff at the resort told him before he departed that same day to catch a private flight home, Holly cancelled her wedding. Grey wanted to know how Evie was holding up. But she hadn’t come to him, called, texted…nothing. He wouldn’t force her into anything again. His missing her was his punishment.
Janet’s brows shot up, voice softened. “I think you’re making a big mistake here.”
“While I appreciate that you’re looking out for me,” he said slowly, ensuring she heard him. “I do not wish to discuss this any more than we have. That will be all, Janet.”
Being the amazing assistant—and friend—she was, she nodded. “Yes, sir.”
* * *
Only a few blocks away from Pike Place Market, Evie stood in the center of the bare room that would house a new up-and-coming media company that partnered with top brands to publish mobile apps and advertising. In three weeks, they’d leave behind their dingy office space and move into the elite downtown core of Seattle, where they’d make their mark on the world.
Evie studied the space. It was everything she’d hoped it would be and more. Bare white walls led down to dark barnwood floors, and above her, the industrial pipes had been left exposed. She’d been given a blank canvas to create the modern and fun environment the company was looking for, which she would give to them. And the project was precisely what she needed to get her head back in the game and off Grey.
She’d done the whole getting-over-a-guy routine before. Hell, she’d left Holly and Seth behind before, and had gotten past the hurt she felt with them. Surely, then, she could get over Grey. They barely had any history. One weekend. Plus, some working hours. That was it.
Yes, she was moving on already.
Determined to get her mind off things, she approached the bank of windows, staring out at another brick wall. While she liked the industrial feel of the building, the space didn’t have the views that Grey’s building…
Dammit, Evie, stop it!
She dropped her head into her hands and breathed deeply, then began rubbing her temples, trying desperately to erase Grey from her mind. He was there in her thoughts. All the time. Never fading. His touch. His voice. His smile. Those smoky eyes. Crap, even his cologne. She could forget nothing.
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