My mouth drops open. I turn around, ball up my fist and let him have it. “That was you?!”
Luke hisses. “Hey. Was I the one that came storming into your room that day?”
I shake my head unsure of how what else to say.
“I just sent in the cavalry.” He kisses the side of my mouth and my legs go wobbly. “Besides, that guy turned out to be a total loser anyway. I just knew you could do better.”
“Where did you watch me, then?”
“In the kitchen, in the pool, on the front porch. I especially liked the part where you told Dash to go home.”
I smirk, fighting the queasiness in my stomach at the mention of my almost-ex’s name. Luke must feel the tension that’s overcome me because he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in for a long hug. I can’t help but relax beneath his touch.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispers into my hair. “And I’m glad your curls are back.” He kisses the top of my head and I let out a little sigh.
His heart is beating so fast against my cheek, it’s working to speed up my own. “How is your mom? I meant to ask…”
“She’s good. Awake, determined as always.”
“So everything worked out?”
I feel him nod. “Let’s not talk about that right now.” Luke stands back, cradling my chin between his thumb and his index finger. “I kind of remember you asking me to do something earlier.”
I swallow hard and nod slightly.
His lips brush against mine and I instinctively grip the front of his t-shirt. Like if I let go, I’ll fall so far no one will ever be able to catch me. The soft teasing caress does more for me than I even thought was possible and I’m immediately embarrassed by the slick, moisture that begins to pool between my legs.
I close my eyes because, as usual, he’s staring at me and looking into those silver gray eyes is doing things to me that I’m sure would make him question whether or not I am the type of girl who needs saving from boys like Andrew Herbert.
When his tongue darts out to taste me, I whimper into his mouth and when he moans in response, my arms move quickly to loop around his neck. I am positive I’m about to faint and, as if he’s reading my every move, Luke scoops me up and walks the few strides to his bed.
He places me down on the edge of it and I brace myself, arms stretched out behind me, palms down. My breathing is all over the place and I’m so hot I know I’m flushed. But he doesn’t seem to notice how out of sorts I feel. Whatever he’s seeing as he gazes down at me seems to do as much for him—and I’m grasping at the hope it’s so much more—than the models plastered all over his wall.
His eyes never leave mine when he gets down on his knees and hovers over me, a hand pressed into the mattress on either side of me. This time when he kisses me, it isn’t light and feathery it’s deep and wanton. The pull on my lips, the tangle with my tongue is relentless. His fingers have found their way to the sides of my bare thighs and with each stroke, the space between my legs widens just a little bit more.
Kissing Luke Black is like tumbling into a great big hole, with no idea if and how you’re ever going to get out. But at the same time, the abandon, the freedom is so sweet you wonder if you’ll ever want to.
Bringing my hands to his waist, I toy with the hem of his t-shirt, coiling it between my fingers. The second my skin grazes his, I lose the small amount of self-control I have left. When my palms flatten against the ripple of his stomach, he groans and when I tug the shirt upwards to gain better access he kisses me even harder. Together we tug the shirt over his head, breaking the kiss for only a moment while I lie back and he crawls on top of me.
My hands have found a delectable home as they move across the contours of his body, caressing every dip and curve. Tracing tattoos I’ve memorized without even realizing it and reveling in the rapid beat of his heart, the expanding of his lungs. His arms that have doubled in size over the past few years are strong, holding me in like a cage and together like sand castle about to be toppled by the tide.
Luke has silently made his way to the edge of my dress and I arch forward as he pushes it up over my hips. Crossing my arms, I discard the flimsy red material in seconds, quickly seeking out his lips again. There’s nothing between us now but my panties and a pair of jeans that are much too thick to give either of us any kind of satisfaction.
I unbuckle him and he slides his pants down, kicking them off and rolling to the side, taking me with him. He wraps his arms around my waist pulling me to him and, when my hardened nipples connect with his sizzling skin, I gasp out my pleasure, my nails biting into him.
Kissing him is so addictive, I’d be happy doing it all night, but the bulge pushing against me and my soaked panties remind me there are even better things to be had. I hook a leg around his waist and he cups my ass, squeezing it gently, before bringing his hand around and slipping down the front of the light, lacy material.
“Holy shit, Puffs,” he rasps, against my mouth, his fingers sliding slowly back and forth between my folds. “You feel so good.”
The way he’s touching me, I couldn’t respond if I wanted to, so I dig deeper into his skin, reduced to nothing but mewls with every stroke. Between his touching and the steady rhythm of his lips against mine, it doesn’t take long before I’m writhing beneath him—making noises I’ve never heard come from the mouth of anyone but a porn star. My eyes have been squeezed shut, relishing in whatever it is he’s doing to me and when they flutter open, just before I come undone, I stare into a pair of light eyes that have me never wanting to look anywhere else ever again.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Luke
I gaze down at her limp form and satisfied smile, unable to hide my own. The way she’s lying here in my arms, legs hooked around mine, sighing and smiling like she’s never been touched like that before, gives me all the confidence I need to know that I can make her see how good we are together. How much better she can do than a guy like Dash. I know without a doubt I’ll be able to make her mine forever.
With her free hand, Coco trails fingers down the center of my stomach and every surface of my skin pimples.
“Luke,” she breathes. And doesn’t say another damn word.
“I thought you weren’t going to show up tonight,” I admit. “I thought I’d embarrassed you, made you run.”
“You did. But I came to my senses.”
“Oh, yeah?”
I curls brush my chin as she nods against me. “You ever feel like you wasted so much time doing one thing when you clearly should have been doing another?” She kisses my chest and I let out a contented sigh.
Absolutely. Like spending the past few years punishing myself instead of dealing with my problems. Shutting myself away from the rest of the world, instead of finding something as good as this. As amazing as the way this feels.
“It wasn’t because of high school?” I say. “And I never forgot.”
“What?”
“The other day, you said I started high school and forgot you existed.” She stills and I trail my fingers up and down her soft skin. “That wasn’t it. Well maybe it was at first, but mostly it was all the stuff that happened the summer before. You just didn’t notice, because you’re you. You were always so positive and upbeat, seeing the good in everything. You still hung around like nothing had changed. Ross and Cole had been on the outs for awhile. But you’d still come to see me. My friends used to tease me about the little girl with a crush, so for a while there, yeah, I’ll admit I avoided you…because I realized I had a crush of my own.”
“Really?”
I nod. “But you were young and I was embarrassed.”
She doesn’t respond to that.
“But I never forgot you existed. After my parents went away, I stayed away. But it wasn’t you, Coco—just the way I was starting to feel. And…your life. A half-normal relationship with your dad, no stigma to avoid. I just couldn’t handle how happy you always were—because I wasn’t. Things sucked�
�my parents were gone and I’d fallen for a girl I had no business falling for.”
She’s quiet for a while longer before looking up at me. “I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry. I was…I just wanted to cheer you up.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I know that now. I probably even knew it back then. I just don’t want you to think I ever stopped caring that you were my friend. Because I didn’t.” I sigh. “I guess sometimes we just get used to a certain way of living—form habits and before we know it we’re stuck.” I tuck my finger under her chin and tilt it upwards, placing a soft kiss on her swollen lips. “But it doesn’t have to stay that way. You can break those habits anytime you want to.”
“So what you’re saying,” she kisses me again, lingering for several moments before coming up for air. “Is that you’re quitting smoking and drinking all that beer and finding a new addiction?”
I laugh. “I guess that’s exactly what I’m saying.” I drag my tongue across her shoulder and up her neck, nipping her ear before pressing my lips against it lightly. “I’m thinking chocolate.”
She giggles and with more force than I even knew she had, she rolls me onto my back, mounting me and leaning forward to press her forehead against mine.
“Ready for your next fix?”
Before I can even acknowledge the question, she’s kissing me again. Not like she did the first time, or even the second. She’s kissing me like she was born to do it, like she’s been doing it every miserable day I’ve had in the past.
I’m steadily growing beneath her, pulsing so hard it hurts. But it isn’t until she wraps her hand around my cock that I come to my senses.
“Shit,” I say, pushing her away. “Wait. Stop.”
She’s breathless as she brushes a few stray curls from her eyes, and as I get the first real view of her fully exposed body, so am I.
“I…” How do I even explain something like this? At a moment like this? How did I even get myself into a situation like this in the first place? I’m not an idiot. I sigh. I’m just out of practice. “I don’t have any condoms.”
The smile she gives me is completely unexpected and I raise an eyebrow.
“That is so sexy, Luke. A guy who doesn’t have a nightstand packed full of condoms. Oh my god you’re like a dream come true.”
“More like a dude who hasn’t gotten laid in a good long while. I have them,” I say. “They’re just all expired.”
“Even better.”
Coco climbs off me and walks to the center of the room. She bends over to pick up my t-shirt and I turn onto my side to get a better view. “What are you doing?”
“Gonna run next door,” she says with a wink. “I’ll be right back.” She tugs my shirt over her head and plants her hands on her hips glancing around the room. The shirt only comes to the middle of her thigh, so I reach for my boxers at the foot of the bed and toss them in her direction.
“So,” I ask, stretching out on my back and clasping my hands behind my head. “What am I supposed to think about a girl whose got a fully stocked drawer of condoms?”
She hops back onto the bed. Straddling me, she pecks me on the nose. “You’re supposed to think she’s pretty awesome for saving your celibate ass.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Coco
I practically skip down the stairs, floating on a high so consuming it shouldn’t be legal. But the moment I step outside my blood runs as cool as the breeze that hits my face. I stand on the top step of the Black’s back porch, gripping the banister with one hand and my waist with the opposite arm.
My teeth bare down hard on my bottom lip as the last hour replays in my mind, eating away at my stomach like acid.
How have I ended up here? What is wrong with me?
Just a few weeks ago I was a fairly innocent kind of girl in the grand scheme of things. I liked to have fun, but it was always calculated—risks carefully taken. The next thing I knew I’d been diagnosed with a disease I never dreamed I’d ever have. One I shouldn’t have had. I’d only ever been with one man.
A shiver runs through me and I lower myself onto the step, head in hands.
I almost slept with him. The idea makes my stomach turn. Not because I didn’t want to—I really want to—but because with everything that’s going on in my life right now, this is not at all calculated. It’s impulsive and dangerous.
It’s only been a little over a month since the whole STD disaster. And even though I’m in the clear it still feels wrong—almost duplicitous. The reality is I don’t owe Luke an explanation. We aren’t in any kind of relationship and sleeping with him wouldn’t put him at risk. But I still feel dirty. Maybe even undeserving of something that I know, without a doubt, would be amazing. A big part of me feels like there’s still a chapter of my life that isn’t complete. One I have to finish writing before I can move onto the next without feeling like a fraud.
I squeeze my eyes closed and the moisture runs down my cheeks.
I’ve just become everything I loathe. The girls who shamelessly hit on my boyfriend when they see he’s clearly with me. The girls who’ll do anything for anyone, no matter what or who that someone’s left at home. The kind of person who doesn’t think about someone else’s feelings before she acts.
I cheated on Dash. I may not have gone all the way, but I was prepared to. I was completely wrapped up in Luke with no regard for anyone else’s feelings. I was vulnerable. Enamored and enchanted by the fantasy of the boy next door. And now I’m guilty as hell.
I blink back tears as I slowly walk across the way. By the time I’m standing in the center of the kitchen my vision is so blurry I have to brace myself against the wall as I make my way down the hallway. Standing in front of the telephone, I take a few minutes to gather myself. Taking a deep breath and clearing my throat, I dial Luke’s number. He picks up on the first ring.
“Hey. I was just about to call you. Should I order something for us to eat. I don’t have a whole lot going on here other than beer.” He chuckles. “Well, there’s that chocolate. But that’s all mine.”
I don’t respond. I have no idea what to say.
“Coco?”
I can hear the urgency in his voice, so I clear my throat again and say, “Hey.”
“You all right?”
I sigh, forcing myself not to start up with the tears again. “No, Luke. I’m not.”
“What happened? Are you hurt? Should I—?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I’m fine. I just…I don’t think I can come back.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I can’t do this with you. I want to and I don’t want to at the same time.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“I know.” I shake my head. “I know. None of this does but it’s…” The hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. But, more than likely, the best. “This is the way it has to be. I can’t just jump into to something with you because it feels good. I have to do what’s right. I have to see this through.”
“See what thr—” He scoffs. “Dash? Are you serious?”
“I am. It may seem crazy to you, but we’ve been through a lot together and even if it doesn’t work out in the end, it can be because of anything else, but it can’t be because of someone else. It can’t be because of you. I need to talk to him. If we break up, that changes things but right now…”
“I’m so sorry,” I say after a long moment of silence. “I didn’t mean to lead you on. I shouldn’t have come over there. I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s fine.” He doesn’t sound at all angry, but I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t be. I’ve just done a one-eighty in less than ten minutes. Left him alone and naked, waiting for me to return and finish what we started. What guy in his right mind wouldn’t be pissed?
“It’s okay,” he says, almost like he’s trying to convince himself that it is. “If we do this, you have to be ready. Otherwise what’s the point? I don’t want to be your one-night st
and, Puffs. I want to be the night you think about every night for the rest of your life. The one you spend forever trying to recreate.”
That’s just the thing. Luke Black clearly isn’t just some guy.
I close my eyes. “I shouldn’t have said all those things earlier. I shouldn’t have made you think I was ready.”
“I think you are ready,” he says. “You’re just trying to figure out the difference between being comfortable and in love and being vulnerable and in love. It’s not at all the same thing. One is so much better than the other. And I’m going to prove it to you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Luke
As much as I hate Dash Martin right now, I’ve just fallen that much harder for Cocanda Rose. There’s no doubt in my mind she wanted to be in my bed the other night. No doubt she enjoyed every second of it. Leaving like she did, walking away from something we both know was going somewhere bigger than either of us could imagine couldn’t have been easy. But I understand where she’s coming from. As much as I don’t agree with it, I know how she feels about what almost happened. Guilty. Like shit for being unfaithful to someone who’s had her heart for so long.
She’s afraid to be vulnerable. Afraid to let go with me. Afraid to leave something comfortable behind for something unknown, no matter how exciting it might be. And, best of all, she’s loyal. Her allegiance to a guy who doesn’t even deserve it is seriously hurting my game right now, but knowing it’s there, knowing it could be mine someday puts all the bad feelings I have toward her so-called boyfriend to shame.
She said herself—she wants to be all of mine, for me to all of hers and I intend on making that happen one way or another.
I rap lightly on the backdoor. Knowing it won’t take long for her to answer, she just came in from the pool and I get the feeling that after my admission the other night, she knows I was watching her. I hold the small bouquet and envelope behind me.
Black Rose (Lewiston Blues Series/Black Family Saga Book 3) Page 17