Soft crying caught my attention, and I stopped what I was doing. There it was again. I stepped into the hallway. The sound came from Santiago's room, and I went in and knelt down by his bed side.
"Hey Santi," I whispered. His skin was warm and soft against my hand. "Are you okay?"
He pulled in a shivering breath. "I thought my mommy was here. But it was just a dream."
I swallowed hard. "I know I'm not your mommy, but if you would like, I can hold you until you go back to sleep."
His head bobbed up and down, and he scooted back to make room for me. I slipped in beside him, Santiago's narrow body nestling against my ribs and his arm sliding around me as far as it would reach. I wrapped one arm around his shoulders, brushing the hand of the other through his hair as his head rested on my chest. For a while we just lay there quietly, and my heart overflowed with the intense love I felt for this little boy. How many times had I read and heard how the arrival of a son or daughter changed the life of a new father or mother forever, how nothing else compared to it. With the first few hot flashes and nights of insomnia, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never physically experience this emotion. And yet here I was, cradling a boy who owned my heart as though I had borne him like any other mother. And in an extended sense, he was the son of the man I had loved all of my life.
"Mel," Santiago said timidly, "do you think she is in heaven?"
"Absolutely."
He moved his head up and down, perhaps to reassure himself. "My dad says that's where we come from as babies and that's where we go back to."
Tee's shadowy outline appeared in the doorframe.
"I very much believe your father is right," I replied in a low voice.
Tee stepped quietly into the room, lowering himself to the floor next to the door.
"Do you believe in angels?" There was an edge to Santiago's voice as though he was almost afraid to ask for fear that I would say no.
His question struck me like lightening and my entire body filled with an inexplicable warmth. Never once in my life had I asked myself this question because I simply always believed this to be a fact; that angels were just as real as the child by my side. But what I felt at this moment was more than just simply believing. I knew with absolute surety and with every fiber of my being that they existed and this realization, quite frankly, took me by surprise. But this wasn't the moment to ponder this in great detail, given that the urgency in Santiago's voice required an immediate answer.
"Of course," I said, his shoulders relaxing against my arm. "No doubt you have a guardian angel. And as of late, you've probably kept him or her very busy."
"Sometimes I think it's my mommy," he said.
Even the softest sound of breathing felt intrusive as I stared at Santiago. How I wanted to pull him up into my arms and hold him tightly, never letting him go. Yet I was afraid any movement would make this moment disappear. I glanced at Tee, who sat motionless, looking at or beyond us, I couldn't tell in the darkness.
"If that's what you feel, then I am sure it's her," I replied softly. "We can't see them, but they are there. She continues to love you, that will never change. And just like she watched over you when you could see her, she still does now."
Santiago didn't say anything else. He drew in another breath that sent shivers through his body, but little by little I felt the weight of sleep in his bones relaxing him and his chest moving evenly. Somewhere along the way my own lungs picked up his rhythm.
Chapter 26
When he stirred next to me and I opened my eyes, the sun was already eagerly trying to pry its way through the closed blinds. Miguel and Tee were speaking in hushed voices in the kitchen. I probably should have been curious about what they were discussing, but the smell of bacon, eggs and freshly made toast seemed much more interesting to me. Santiago stretched and yawned, rubbing his eyes and staring up at me.
I kissed the tip of his nose. "Good morning, Santi. Did you sleep well?"
He nodded, grinning at me. "Did you sleep here all night?"
"Looks like I did."
He flung his arms around my neck, but before I could say anything, he let go, sticking his nose up in the air. "Bacon," he said with a reverence I had never witnessed before in connection with cured strips of pig meat.
"And toast," I added with a laugh, following him as he raced toward the source of the delicious aroma.
We joined Miguel and Tee at the table, and I was grateful that no mention of the day's plan was made while we ate. Nor did Tee say anything about last night, although I noticed him watching me several times.
Once we were showered and dressed, it was back to business. I mostly reiterated what Tee explained to his son, watching for any sign in Santiago's face that might signal his fear of the unknown danger he and I would have to walk into, but he just listened carefully, asking a question every once in a while and reflecting the pure trust inherent in children. I wished I could approach the day with that type of innocence, that all would turn out well just because Tee promised he wouldn't let anything happen to us.
Once Santi had been briefed, we drove about 20 minutes southwest of Bayamón before Miguel handed me my phone. I wished I were alone for the call instead of having to set it on speaker.
"Good Morning, Valentín," I uttered as confidently as I possibly could. I paced by the side of the car, well aware that my three breakfast companions were watching me, but it was easier to play hardened criminal if I didn't have to look at them. "How's your head?" I listened as Valentín cursed Tee, the coconut, Santiago and me in most colorful terms. "Should I interpret that to mean you're not interested in a deal?"
I considered the surprised silence encouraging.
"What kind of deal?" Valentín finally asked, cautious yet curious.
I laughed. "You must know by now that your first guess was on the money. You and I were targeting the same thing all along. I was just better at it."
A sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.
"What is making the matter more difficult isn't that you and I are after the same jewelry," I continued. "It's that group of goodfellas you have hanging around. Come on, Valentín. Neither you nor I need that type of complication. Between the two of us, we can pull this off on our own."
"You've got to be some kind of crazy if you think I'll trust you, woman," Valentín grumbled.
"Why wouldn't you?" I asked in my most innocent voice. "All I did is protect my investment. You were trying to do the same. That's understandable. After all, we're both professionals. But evading the kid's father is starting to lose its thrill. With an extra pair of hands that knows how to pull a trigger, we'd have enough to finish this once and for all. The jewelry maker gets back his son, you and I split the jewelry 50-50, and we'll each be on our way."
"Where are you now?"
"Close enough to meet you in San Juan."
"Let me hear the kid."
I walked to the rear of the car, where Tee took Santiago's arm just as I held the phone up to his ear, twisting the skin sharply in opposite directions. Santi let out a pained cry. As his father wrapped him into an embrace, whispering apologies into his ear, I turned back to my pacing.
Valentín chuckled. "And here I pictured you for the motherly type."
"He's the means to an end," I replied, wishing Santiago weren't close enough to hear me say those words. "Do we have a deal?"
"What happens if I say no?"
I twisted, looking searchingly at Tee. He mouthed Valentín's name and put his finger like a gun to his head.
"Then I guess you will have a lot more explaining to do to your pack of buddies," I said. "So far you've struck out on every occasion. Somehow I don't think they'll take very kindly to it if I walk off with the jewelry alone."
"You just told me you needed help."
"I said I am tired of evading the kid's father," I corrected, my eyes fixed on Tee for additional hints that didn't come. "Of course I can pull this off on my own. It's not
like I've never done this before." Waddaya know, I could lie point blank after all. I took a deep breath, adding a smile to my words for confidence. "Puerto Rico is hot and humid. I want to get back to the US. With your help, I can wrap this up faster. You can do with your half whatever you want. Share it with those goons or get yourself off the island. Your career as a cop here is pretty much trashed at this point anyway. What do you have to lose?"
The silence was interminable. I reminded myself that it was a good thing, that Valentín was at least entertaining the possibility instead of just calling my bluff.
"There's a gazebo at the east end of the Plaza de Armas," Valentín finally said. "Meet me there at five. And bring the boy."
"No worries," I replied. "We're pretty inseparable these days."
The line went dead, and I walked over to Miguel, Tee and Santiago.
"Nice job," Miguel said, taking the phone from me and hurling its memory chip into the surrounding greenery. So I could've saved my two hundred dollar phone after all.
"Let them keep busy with trying to locate you," he added. "Time for us to head back to the house. It's the safest place until the meeting time."
I squatted down in front of Santiago. "You know I didn't mean those things I said about you."
He nodded, looking at me from wide eyes. "You sounded like a real bad guy."
Heat seared my cheeks, and I scooped him into a hug. "With everything you and I have been through together, you probably don't believe me when I tell you that I actually have a regular job, in an office. No guns, no car chases." It sounded terribly far away right now, and the realization that soon I would actually have to go back to Miami made me hug him even harder. I didn't want to finish that thought.
"Time to go," Miguel said. "We don't want to still be standing here when they come looking for you and the phone."
While I did feel better once we closed the door of the safe house behind us, the prospect of what lay ahead still had my intestines in revolt. "Well, the theory part went well. Now we'll just have to see how the reality of it plays out."
"It will be fine," Tee said with a firmness that made me raise my eyebrows. He headed into the kitchen, busying himself with the breakfast dishes.
I followed him. "There's nothing that shakes my confidence more than watching you standing there by the sink. From everything I know about men, it's not a natural act for any guy to voluntarily wash dishes. If that's where you're channeling your energy rather than maybe, I don't know, polishing a gun or something, I'm wondering if maybe this plan is seriously flawed after all."
In three steps Tee was by my side, yanking me by the arm. "Let's talk," he pressed out, dragging me in a stumble behind him down the hallway. Miguel was but a blur before Tee shut the bedroom door in his face. At the sound of Santiago's "Papá," Tee locked the door.
"Go back to the living room," he ordered, keeping his eyes fixed on me. "Both of you."
Miguel said something in a soothing voice, but from across the room I couldn't make out the words.
"Relax," Tee answered, "I'm not going to kill her. I just want to talk to her. Alone."
Nothing else sounded through the door.
Whatever was trying to turn the wheels in my head seemed wedged tight, unwilling to shift without causing me pain. I closed my eyes, hoping a slow, deep breath would send some oil into my gears. But then Tee moved, and my eyes flew open before I accomplished the brain gear repair.
"What?" I snapped, feeling every inch the trapped deer as he came closer.
"Maybe I need to reassure myself that everything is going to work out," he started. "Polishing a gun doesn't do that for me."
Great. The grinding in my head got stronger. I needed him to take away my doubts, not confirm his. "Just tell me we stand a fighting chance," I said. "I'm not asking you to have it all figured out, but if you start acting like you're sending Santiago and me straight to hell without even so much as a glimmer of hope, then I'm afraid I'll screw it up." I forced Tee to look at me. "I'm going to be the one with Santi and it scares me spitless to think that I might be the one responsible if any harm comes to him."
"Don't you think I know that?" Tee shot back. "Don't you think I've gone over every possible scenario in my head a thousand times by now? You can't let them scare you, Mel. We can't. If we do, they win. And despite all of the what-ifs, I have to believe we can beat them at their own game. If I didn't think so, then I wouldn't be here."
His step forward caught me off guard, the proximity of his determination urging me to hold my ground rather than back away.
"I can't give you any guarantees," he continued. "There aren't any in crime or police work. But you can't go in there with that type of fear."
As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Not only were there no guarantees, but focusing on my fear would only cripple me and make me even less useful than I already felt. "You're right," I said, trying to ignore the pounding behind my ears. "No fear. You, Miguel and the others have just as much experience as Valentín and his friends. So I guess we have at least a 50-50 chance."
"Something like that." Tee smiled in that all too familiar, off-center way. He turned toward the door, but paused after a few steps. "Thanks for talking to Santi last night," he said, the infinity of his eyes searching mine. "Sometimes it's better if it's not just his dad trying to answer all of his questions."
I racked my brain for a meaningful reply, but I was afraid that talking about Santiago would only collapse my freshly erected I'm-ready-to-tackle-the-bad-guys façade. Yet I couldn't let Tee leave. Not like this. What if there wouldn't be another moment with just the two of us? The thought sent an unexpected jolt through my body.
"Jagua means black ink in Taíno," I blurted out. "You were given the name because of your eyes. Apparently, at least one person in every generation of your family has them. And the name."
Tee stared at me.
I twisted my mouth. "Since you asked. In case we don't have a chance to talk about this later." Wondering why I ever wanted the wheels in my head to start turning as they only seemed to spew forth things that made everything more complicated.
Tee opened his mouth, but I made sure I was faster. "My head is pounding. Think I better lie down for a bit so that I'm fully functioning when I need to be."
I hadn't totally answered his question. I hadn't told him how I knew what I knew and why. But I had given him something. It had to be enough. My chest pounded as persistently as the back of my head, but despite the urge I had to bury my face in the nearest pillow, I held Tee's stare until he finally closed his mouth and just nodded. When he shut the door behind him, I sank onto the bed, as drained as if I had been up all night. Sleep was all I wanted, but it's not always a blessing to get what one wants.
Chapter 27
It was an uncommonly hot day, even for Puerto Rico. Nary a breeze brushed over the usually wind-swept promontory and moisture draped everyone's skin like precious jewelry that nobody wished to own. Tongues seemed too heavy to carry on conversations. Yet lips moved, and I concentrated harder. What were people saying? Words began to reach me and as I recognized them, I shook my head, flinging them back to the mouths they came from.
"No!" I spoke firmly. "NO! Not this. I won't. I can't."
The tender town that would grow into Old San Juan drew closer, entering me as though I were the vortex that was sucking it in. Yes! That was good. I needed it to go back inside me, even if it felt as though my chest would crush under the weight. I slowly sank to the ground, wrapping my arms tightly around my knees, curling into myself. Until the awful, hot day no longer consumed me.
I was still lying there, in a silence I didn't necessarily want. It was rare that I fought against my mind. Usually, it wasn't necessary to control it. It knew what I longed for, and I let it drift freely over the years of Rafael's life, content with any day where it chose to settle behind closed eyes. But this one was not up for discussion.
"It was so bright and sunny," I mumbled. "Why co
uldn't it have been like this on the happiest day of his life?" That had been wrapped in sheets of driving rain. Although to Rafael, it probably was all the same. Snow, sleet, rain, hail, or unbearable heat, I doubt he would've noticed any of it that day. I got up, no longer on the open square in the settlement of Puerto Rico, but instead inside the white-washed walls of the Rincón's plantation home.
"Even if you wear a groove into the ground, she's not going to come down any faster," Juan Luis said, lounging more than sitting on one of the chairs in the front row. "It's a woman thing. They take long on any day of the year, but on their wedding day they push you to the limit and don't show up until you think they've pretty much stood you up. Then just when you think you're going completely stark raving mad, they make their big entrance and take your breath away. That's how they make sure you say yes."
I sat down beside Juan Luis, shaking my head.
"How would you know?" Rafael grunted, the crease between his brows deepening as he once again stared toward the door in the back.
"You're forgetting the stunning redhead," I offered. "She apparently came down just after the stark raving mad moment as he did manage to say no."
Rafael laughed, nervously running his hand through his hair. What was left of it. Luz had convinced him to crop it short. I still hadn't forgiven her for that. Not that he wasn't still handsome and yes, maybe even more polished looking, but it seemed to have erased the last of the barefoot, long-haired Taíno in him. I sighed, following Rafael's pacing. Maybe I missed it because it reminded me of the time before Luz, he and I had become the impossible threesome.
"The readhead," Rafael said. "I'd forgotten about her."
Juan Luis peered over his shoulder, grinning as he spied Anacaona tracing a carved statue of the Virgin Mary that sat above a small altar in the corner of the family room. "Yeah well, forget about her again, will you? My little spitfire still gets upset when it comes up that I almost married someone else."
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