“Gunner saw the stupid trophies in my closet…”
“Or that you busted the asses of six hardened Marines the night I was…jumped. What about that time you and your team zeroed in on a drug deal in progress and got into a massive firefight?”
His eyes met Gunner’s. “She got medals out the ass for saving her men and securing the shipment. Captured seven, killed three. Two of her guys were wounded but everyone went home to their families.”
“Stop.” He gave her a grim smile. “I mean it.”
Without breaking eye contact, he continued, “Has she mentioned the story about the human trafficking ring who pushed all their cargo out a side hatch? She swam six people to the vessel, fully bound. More medals.”
“Is there a point?”
“A point, Kota? How eager you are for me to throw everything I am out into the world. Fuck the consequences.” He shook his head. “Do as I say, not as I do, right? You live in shadows and prod me into the light.”
“Chaz. Don’t.”
His voice was low and furious. “You think I’m too stupid to realize your game, Dakota? You’re so anxious to out me to your friends. You push and fucking push as if you have any goddamn clue what it’s like for me.”
He sat back and for the first time she realized she’d tried to control a situation regarding her brother one too many times.
“You don’t know because I don’t tell you. Just like I don’t know what it’s like for you because you don’t tell me. All I see are the after effects.”
His gaze moved to Gunner. “You think she doesn’t want you to see her naked because of her period? It’s the fucking bruises that are probably covering every inch of her torso under those clothes.”
The big man turned his head slowly, his expression confused. “What bruises?”
She never looked away from her twin’s face.
“She fights. She travels all over the world and fights for days until either she or one of her opponents can’t continue. They fight like animals in a pit until one of them is unconscious. Once or twice a year, we wait to see if it will be the time she doesn’t come back.”
“You fucking know why I do it.” Her body was rigid and her mind was in chaos.
“You make choices without giving a single damn about how we’d feel if we lost you. If we never even knew what happened to you. The motherfucker is dead but you still put your life on the line to lance the poison he put inside you. When does the fighting stop? When is the past in the fucking past?”
She slammed her palms on the table and whispered furiously, “When I can goddamn sleep at night without the haunting of it. When I don’t feel dirty. When I fucking slay the dragon left in my mind. I say, Chaz. I fucking say when.”
She stood on the seat of the booth, walked the back partition behind Gunner, and jumped to the floor. Without looking at any of them or saying a word, she left the diner.
Fuck propriety and being polite.
Chapter Fourteen
Gunner immediately moved to follow.
“Don’t. Give her time or she’ll turn it on you. I’m not kidding. I stirred up a lot of shit and she’s in a rage.”
“I’d rather she turned it on me. I can take whatever she wants or needs to dish out for a long time.” He looked down at the table and back at Chaz. “Your father?”
The unspoken question hung between them. One sharp nod was the only reply he got and it was almost too much.
“If he wasn’t dead, I’d slit his throat and watch him bleed out.”
With that, he jogged for the door. He watched as Dakota’s Jeep left a line of burned tar as she tore from the parking lot to the highway.
Back inside, he didn’t waste time with too many words. “She’s heading for the house. I’m going after her. Stay with Chaz, figure things out with Bubba. I’ve got this.”
Certain Shawn would ensure everyone else was safe and covered, he made his way calmly to his truck and drove to the Harding residence a couple of miles away.
He parked on the crushed shell driveway of the beach house on the west side of US-1 that he’d started thinking of as his second home.
Just as the Hardings were the family he’d always wanted.
Taking a deep breath, he got out. He didn’t bother knocking. Instead, he walked around the house and up the steps to the second floor deck. As he approached the door to the gym, he peered through the wall of windows.
Dakota was inside, wearing body-hugging shorts and a sport bra. She was barefoot and beating the fuck out of a heavy bag.
From her knees to her shoulders, she looked brutalized. He could see the impact marks of hands, feet, and more than a few scratches. It made his stomach cramp with fear.
So much about her was suddenly clear in his mind.
He opened the door and she hissed, “Don’t come in. You don’t need to be here right now.” She didn’t turn to look at him or stop the attack of the heavy bag with her feet and fists.
“This is exactly where I need to be. I can take more than anyone you’ve ever fought and I’m interested in seeing how that plays out.” He kicked off his shoes and pulled his t-shirt over his head. “Fight me, Dakota.”
“No.”
“Are you scared to fight me?”
She paused mid-kick and glared at him. “I’m not scared.”
“Show me you’re not scared. Prove it to me.”
She issued a sound of annoyance, shook her head, and went back to hitting the bag. He walked closer and the next time she moved to hit the bag, he blocked her hand. When she tried to kick, he bumped her leg away.
Again and again, he thwarted her release until he saw the rage inside her focus on him.
“Stop it, Gunner.”
“I can’t do that.”
She attempted to connect with the bag again and he continued to block her. Stilling, she released a scream of frustration.
“Fight me. You can’t hurt me.”
“I can hurt you.”
“Show me. I don’t believe you.”
Dakota bounced on the balls of her bare feet, struggling to channel the rage inside her.
“I think you’re afraid, Dakota.”
“I’m not afraid of any person with a dick.”
“Prove it.”
She changed her stance and came for him. She moved fast and caught him in the jaw. It snapped his head back on his shoulders and he brought it back to smile at her.
“Nice. I think you can do better. Try again.”
He let her push him around the room, blocking some hits and kicks, allowing others through if they wouldn’t impact organs. She was blazingly fast, precise, blending moves and styles until he had to react on instinct alone.
Repeatedly, she found openings in his defenses. He remained relaxed, allowing her what she needed.
To cool rage that had likely begun in childhood.
Dakota drove him back again and again. Her pony tail stuck to her neck and shoulders, her body drenched in sweat.
For over an hour she beat at him, lashed out at him, until she could barely lift her arms. She stumbled from the physical strain on her body.
When the cloud of rage lifted, she came to a sudden stop. Swaying, she shook her head to clear it. Lifting her face, she met his eyes.
“Come here, Dakota.” He kept his tone soothing, gentle, as he opened his arms. “Come here, sweetheart.”
There was a moment of hesitation before she charged him, jumped into his hold, and wrapped her legs around his waist.
She gripped him with all her strength and screamed. He held her hard enough to hurt, lowering carefully to his knees on the mat. He rocked her, murmured to her.
Her screams turned to sobs, her sobs to whimpers, her whimpers to nothing, trailing off to the sound of her rapid breathing against his neck.
They sat like that for a long time.
“He used to gas my room. So many times, I’d beaten him physically to protect my brother. He knew he couldn’t best me. He�
��d gas my room or drug my food, anything to put me out enough to tie me down, gag me so I couldn’t scream.”
Gunner didn’t speak. He held her harder, let her talk, let her purge the fear, rage, and shame she’d carried too long.
“I never told Chaz. He was dealing with so much of his own. Anytime my father had him alone, he tried to break him.” She dug her nails into his back. “I hated being too weak to fight. I hated that he was able to incapacitate me. It went on for six years and our mother knew what he was doing to us.”
He couldn’t stop the low sound of rage for her, for her brother.
“Then Chaz caught him. Delivered a beating unlike anything I’d dared. He got me out of there, got me away. I was already ruined, dirty. The fetus he put inside me died, made me sick. The procedure to get it out…it messed me up.”
Tears slipped from the corners of his eyes and he buried his face at her shoulder.
“The rage didn’t get better. It got worse and worse. One day, I drove back to our old house. I-I pretended I wanted to make peace. Asked Alfred to go to lunch with me. When he was behind the wheel of his car, I choked off his oxygen until he passed out, careful not to leave bruises. Then I ran a hose from his exhaust and made sure he was dead.”
“Good. Fucking well done, Dakota.”
“I never told Chaz because there was still no peace. I thought…with him dead, I’d feel peace. After we got Bubba, after Chaz was beaten so badly, I started participating in the Games. It was the only way I could sleep.”
“No one can do so many tournaments without eventually sustaining serious damage. Then what will you do, Dakota? How will you cool your rage then?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly.
“I’m not in your head. I didn’t go through what you went through but I know a lot about rage.” He held her tighter.
“I want to tell you something. A story no one in my life knows but Shawn. I think it’s important you know it.” One hand stroked over her sweat-drenched back.
“I was sent to West Point prep because my mother was trying to save my life. My father was a successful businessman in Kentucky. He started beating me to the point of putting me in the hospital. It got worse when I started defending myself.”
Planting a kiss on her wet temple, he went on. “The more I tried to minimize the damage, the more enraged he became until my mother was certain he’d kill me.”
Her arms and legs tightened around him.
“The bigger I got, the more he felt he had to prove. I was sent away and my mother believed that would be the end of it. She never imagined he’d turn his abuse on my younger brother. After I left, Sterling took my beatings, until one killed him.”
He heard Dakota’s breath catch and hugged her. “When I graduated SEAL training, I returned to the house I hadn’t seen in almost ten years. I gave him a shot of potassium chloride. As his heart seized, I stared into his eyes. I wanted him to know I won.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “What happened…after?”
“The coroner ruled it a heart attack and my mother rambles around that house to this day. Living with the ghosts of her family.” Inhaling deeply, he added, “I was still full of rage. Unable to move past the memory of being weak, of being helpless.”
She leaned back to look in his eyes. “How did you make it stop?”
“I started helping people, Dakota. Instead of fighting my past, I focused on my future in ways that healed me.” He stroked damp hair away from her face. “You’ve turned inward. I think your brother did, too. You’re not alone and you can do so much with your natural skills.”
“Rescues? Become a mercenary?”
“Not all mercenaries are bad guys.”
She gave him a fragile smile. “I know.”
“What I went through is not the same. The pain of what was taken from you goes so much deeper. But he took enough. Every minute you let it destroy your peace now, he’s still taking from you.”
“I want to stop it. I don’t know how.”
“Together, I know we can tame your demons. One morning, you’ll wake up and have an entire day pass where you don’t think of him. Then a week, a month, a year. By living for you and giving to others, you let a new life take up your time, energy, and emotion. A life that isn’t tainted by that animal.”
She raised herself up and held his face. “I can try.”
He smiled. “Try? From the baddest bitch I know?” He shook his head. “You win. That’s who you are.”
Tears slipped over her cheeks and she wiped them away. “I’m sorry I hit you.”
“A lifetime of hard living toughened me in different ways. Our ages and backgrounds bring us to the same place with diverse skills and perceptions. I think we balance one another.”
He cupped the back of her neck. “I was half in love before I ever touched you. Everything about you settles on me in a way I can’t reverse…and I don’t want to. You’ve been a shock to my system from day one. I love you.”
She started to respond and he shook his head. “Don’t say words you aren’t ready to say. Telling you doesn’t make me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel stronger and I can wait.”
“How can you say that after…today?”
“Today proved you’re even stronger than I knew.” He planted a chaste kiss on her lips. “If you need to fight, fight me. I can take it until you can’t give it anymore. Until you’re ready to collapse. I can do that for you. I doubt many others can.”
“So I become your new abuser?”
“No, pretty girl. You let me help you. Let me help you and there’s going to come a day when you don’t need it.”
“You’re not supposed to hurt the people you care about.”
“You aren’t hurting me, Dakota. You’re letting me make sure you stop hurting yourself.”
“You’re an amazing fighter.”
“I’ve excelled at two things all my life. Fighting and fucking. I don’t apologize for the first since it made me successful in my chosen field. The second provides you excellent benefits because male virgins are highly overrated.”
“Truth.” She sighed heavily and he knew it would take time for her to understand how her life could be different. “Is Chaz alright? I-I handled everything wrong.”
“You panicked when I showed up and reacted by pushing a little too hard. Chaz felt backed in a corner but you can be sure Shawn is going to make sure Chaz sees a way out. Let them find their way.”
She nodded. “It’s been months. I got impatient.”
“They’ve established a friendship. Let them figure out the rest.” He kissed her again. “Let’s focus on the two people right here and let the other grownups handle their shit.”
She took a deep cleansing breath. “Shower with me?”
“After I mention how blazingly hot you are when you fight. So much that I’m looking forward to any excuse to spar with you. Burned toast, rainy day, whatever.”
Her laughter filled his heart with hope. It was an emotion that hadn’t always come easy to him.
“Now that I’m not in a fog, I concur regarding your amazing skills and buff bod.” Her expression turned seductive. “When I can lift my arms, I’ll say thank you properly. Shower first.”
“You recover. I’ll handle the heavy lifting.”
“Tell me more.”
“I’d rather show you.” Gunner stood up with her in his arms.
“Your strength makes me feel girly and shit.”
His laugh echoed through the room and she pumped her hips against him in reaction.
“We’re going to have to wait on that shower, pretty girl.”
“I’m gross, Gunner.”
“No, you’re sweaty from fighting like a fucking action hero and that’s got me hard as a rock.”
She shook her head with a chuckle as he put her on her feet and peeled their sweat-soaked clothing away. He kissed the vicious bruises that covered her.
“We had our round of fighting.
Now we need the proper equivalent of fucking.”
“Sounds legit.”
Chapter Fifteen
Gunner walked to the bench and straddled it with Dakota over his lap, her thighs over his. He stroked his palm from her neck, between her breasts, to her stomach.
“Your muscles twitch under your skin.” He lightly skimmed over two of the worst bruises on her ribcage and hip. “I’m familiar with the Games and people who’ve participated in them over the last decade. There’s underground chatter.”
“Good or bad?”
“It depends on who you ask. I know an honorable man who’s never lost a match.”
“Many know of him. I’ve never faced him.”
“I’m glad. I don’t know which of you would have won but the pain delivered on both sides would have been extreme.”
“Is that a compliment?” He nodded and she smiled. “I’ve been in nine tournaments over the years. I’ve taken the ring in seven. My winnings paid for this house.”
“Never in my life has a woman fascinated me so much.” His palms moved up to cup her breasts. “I love everything about you, Dakota. Even the battle-scarred parts of you.”
He raked the head of his cock along her folds and she watched him, panting softly. Their gazes locked.
“There are condoms in your bedroom,” he told her. “Do you want me to get them?”
“No. We’re both clean and pregnancy isn’t an issue. It makes me especially grateful for Bubba.”
Gunner wrapped his palm along the back of her neck and lifted her to him. “If he wasn’t already dead, I’d torture him for fun.”
“No one would understand how romantic that statement is to me.” They shared an aggressive kiss before she pulled back and tugged her lower lip between her teeth. “Do you want to get a condom? I’ll understand if you do.”
“I want to feel your bare pussy around my cock.”
“I want that, too.”
He lowered her upper body to the bench. “Then prepare to take the fucking you deserve.”
“Make me scream, Gunner.”
He positioned himself at the entrance of her, sliding inside easily. He started with gentle strokes that went deep while he played with her nipples.
Permission to Come Aboard (The Great Outdoors Book 2) Page 9