by A. Star
The heat began creeping up my legs again and I craved a burst of speed, just to feel more wind. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with how okay I was with him being with me, near me and now soon to enter my home. Foreign parts of my nature were clawing to get out.
* * *
Daniel
If I was a normal human, maybe she would have lied and said that she used to run track in college, that she was an Olympic hopeful at one point. If I was a normal man, maybe I’d convince myself I’d imagined her speed. When I didn’t hang back dumbfounded and was right beside her, I smelled her tense next to me. She feared the recognition.
We reached her home after twenty-five minutes of running, and by human standards, running fast (with all my gear). When we came to a stop, her pupils were dilated and she exhaled slowly. God, she was beautiful. Our perspiration was from the effort it took to control our change. I could feel the heat beneath my own skin, and the familiar pounding in my head and ringing in my ears.
“Here.” She pointed to a spot on her lawn “This is where I saw him. All splayed out here. He wouldn’t stop screaming. I just wanted him to go away. I wasn’t sure if they, the cops, would have wanted me to help him, but turns out it was wise that I left him until the ambulance and the police arrived.”
She looked at me, her gold-brown eyes and shiny tawny brown hair. That’s what struck me about Mira when I saw her coming towards the coffee shop. She readjusted her pony tail and the last of the sun’s light reflected on it again. I clenched and unclenched my fists, my fingers itched to touch her hair. If I wasn’t careful she might clock my attraction and give me a warning I didn’t want.
“Have you ever seen anything in the woods, Mira? Any kills or anything?”
She swallowed and looked at me, shaking her head. If she ever did feed in those woods, she was damn careful with her kills. I wanted to talk to her about what she was. How could she not know?
I could smell the heat coming off her. She was attracted to me too. But imbedded in her was her desire to protect herself, her identity and her home.
She pointed up to a window at the top floor of the house.
She looked at me and said, “That’s my bedroom. That’s where I was when I saw him. I…I heard a scream, but I don’t think it was a cougar scream. I think it was the guy’s. He was very…loud.” Too bad you didn’t shut him up, Mira.
Mira smiled, her teeth were nice and straight. Her mouth was pretty, especially when it was turned up and her tongue came up behind her teeth to say, “That’s where I saw him.” I guess she caught my eyebrow. Damn.
“How do you know that cougars scream?” Her head snapped at me defensively. Damn. I didn’t mean it in a threatening way. I hoped she didn’t take it like that.
“I…I remember reading it somewhere.” She was flustered.
“Your name is Mira Sanderson, right? I’m just making sure…”
“Yes, yes, I’m Mira… I mean you knew that already, but yes.”
“Mira. I’m Daniel Lions. It’s very nice to meet you.” She didn’t back away from my hand this time. Our skin touched and my blood heated and pulsed harder. Her palm pressed into mine and a warm wave hit my stomach. She squeezed me with a force that I was sure wasn’t ‘normal.’ When I slipped my fingers back across her palm, I watched her eyes go something like sleepy. I pressed her palm with my thumb for a second, before allowing my hand to leave hers. Mira smiled at me.
“Please, come in, Daniel.” Her voice was low and she brushed herself past me subtly by turning her body as I walked through her door. I was shocked how quickly she went from avoiding my touch to requesting it with her tone and body language. I’d all but forgotten that I had a mild fear for my own safety. That she might turn and take advantage of me being in on her turf.
Her house wasn’t typically ‘girly.’ There were cream coloured blinds and a large dark grey sofa–nice and long for lounging on. I imagined her stretching out on it. The living room had a plush light cream carpet, as did the stairs and I could assume the hallway.
The kitchen and dining area were hardwood floors. I could smell her everywhere, this sweet musky wooded smell. Like a lighter version of sandalwood. It was starting to make me crazy. I wanted to say it out loud. I know what you are. We are the same. Let me show you.
She never turned her back to me as she walked in and removed her running shoes. Mira watched my every move. I made a point of not being behind her. This was difficult as I kept imagining having a fistful of her hair to inhale, which would imply being very close to her back.
“So, Mira, you do realise that if there is a transient male that has wandered into the area, they would attack at dawn, dusk or night time.”
“I’m not scared of cougars, Daniel.”
“You should be. They are very dangerous. Just think what happened to your would-be intruder.”
Mira kept her head directed at me, her dilated eyes in contact with mine. She got two bottles of water out of the fridge and handed me one.
Her eyes held me as we both took a long drink. She placed the bottle back on the counter and put her hands on the countertop, splaying her fingers and stretching her torso. I watched the muscles in her arms flex. She wasn’t used to having anyone in her home.
“I don’t think you look like the type who would keep a pet cougar,” I said.
Mira’s laugh hit the air and she let her head fall back. It exposed the healthy, delicate skin covering her throat. I smiled, delighted by the sound of her laugh and enjoying the view.
“I wondered if that’s what they thought. No, I don’t keep any pets,” she said when her laughing subsided.
“Well, you’re almost fast enough to outrun a mountain lion, that’s for sure.” Her smile fell a little as she shrugged. “I’m sorry, Mira. I don’t want to worry you, but you do need to be careful. Maybe I could help you?”
“I’ve always looked after myself. Always. I want to continue like that.”
Mira licked her lips and looked at her floor. When her face looked up at mine again it was straighter. I’d never encountered anything like this before. A shifter who wouldn’t acknowledge she was a shifter. The animal within and the woman without coexisted naturally, happily ignoring each other. At least, that’s how it had been until the human predator turned up.
Whenever shifters meet in human form, we talk. We exchange information. We never stay with each other, but we do cross paths and acknowledge each other, as we can smell one another. There’s no point denying it as long as we are in private.
Most but not all mountain lions are shape shifters. They choose a human form early on in life, depending on what would help them survive best. I’m used to meeting them out West, and am familiar with the small Florida community.
But Mira was taking a chance out here. Most cougar shifters left the Midwest and the East many years ago. I took a deep breath before saying what I had to say.
“I think there is a rogue cougar around here. I think it’s very close now. I just need to find it.”
Mira’s eyes snapped up. “What are you going to do when you find it?” She backed away. Every time I took a step towards her she would turn her shoulders to keep her back opposite me. Her teeth were gritted. I held my hands up.
“Look, Mira, I’m serious about protecting felis concolor in the Americas. This animal has rights. If there is one trying to establish territory here then I need to study it. But if some silly locals get an idea that there is one in the area, they might start looking. They might do something stupid.” I had a few ‘types’ in my mind. Including the naïve college kid who was talking to his buddies about the mountain lion attack on the news.
She took another sip of her water and looked at me. She kept her eyes locked on mine.
I was taken aback when her lips turned upwards and she smiled at me. There were her pretty, straight teeth again. The light caught her hair as she looked to the side. Shiny, tawny Mira. My admiration was interrupted by her voice.
“D
on’t you think that farmers and hunters who live out in the country will be a little upset by the idea of mountain lions being allowed to freely roam the Midwest? Taking out all the livestock and deer? Don’t you think that some kids might get stupid ideas about trying to find it?”
This is where I feared for my safety a little. Despite her outward calm, she was trembling. She moved towards the counter island in the kitchen slowly, placing her hands on it and looking up at me.
“Mira, education and land management will go a long way. People live in states populated by mountain lions. It’s just that it’s only recently they have begun moving back into states like Wisconsin. But there haven’t been any wild deer kills in this area, have there? There is a large enough local deer population…”
“No. No deer kills. I see deer when I run…” Her voice was quiet, sad. She would have wanted to take a deer, surely.
“You’ve seen a dead one, though? One that looked like it had been attacked by what got the guy on your front lawn?”
Her mouth opened and her eyes narrowed at me. “I would n…” Then she winced and I saw the muscles in her arms clench. “I’ve never seen dead deer, no. I would report something like that.” I could hear her heart beating in panic.
It hit me. She never ate wild. Maybe she could have taken a rabbit and ingested the whole thing, but she’d want something bigger. If she only nourished herself in human form, that would explain how she managed to avoid detection.
And she was right, local hunting enthusiasts would go crazy if they saw a deer killed by a mountain lion. She was protecting herself. Even from me. But if she was choosing to live here, she would have to carry on being meticulous. Cougars need to hunt something. Predators have to have prey.
Her chest was starting to heave and I could see her muscles tensing as she became more agitated. I heard her rotating and cracking her ankles. Mira shifted her body so much, doing her best to behave normally. She looked at me. But this time her eyes were pleading. Begging me to stop questioning her yet wanting to tell me everything.
I want to see you, need to see you. I mean you no harm.
Mira’s tawny hues were shimmering, shaking in the barely there light of the kitchen. She was a private, solitary woman as well as an intelligent shape shifting predator. Her craving for my understanding and touch sent my head swimming. I could smell it, I could feel it, I could see it.
“So…I suppose it is getting late and I do have work in the morning.” Those were the words she spoke to me as she dragged her nails nervously over the flesh of the arms which she’d crossed over herself. But even as she said it her abdomen visibly clenched and her eyes winced. I could hear her heart beat. Fear, yes, fear of the unknown. But wild animalistic desire heated her blood.
My judgment was becoming clouded as her heat intensified. I walked towards her. Don’t deny me don’t deny me don’t deny me. I want you, Mira, you want me. Things were simple, clear, easy for me. I watched her panting gently, trying in vain to mask herself before my eyes.
But her. She wasn’t simple. And she hadn’t come to term with what she was. And for me…I wouldn’t let her be easy.
I didn’t lay one finger on her. I backed away. “Thanks for the information and the water, Ms. Sanderson. I…hope you don’t mind if I get in touch with you soon? You know, it might be an idea to stay with friends or at a hotel if you can. Just for a while, until this animal shows her….itself. In the meantime, I will make sure that the cops understand you aren’t keeping a pet.”
“Thank you.” Her eyes were earnest as they met mine. “I value my home. It…might be better if the public and local authorities are made aware that there isn’t a dangerous animal in the area. So…so they don’t panic.”
“You are right, Ms. Sanderson. But I would like to spend some time with this animal. Just to understand why it’s here.” I cleared my throat, pushing back my aggressive desire. “It’s my job, Mira.”
“Of course.” Her voice was low and I noticed she was gripping the counter.
I nodded and headed out the door, back to my temporary base before I changed my mind about touching her. I didn’t shift in her territory. I respected her too much for that.
* * *
Mira
He knew what I’d done. So did I. I’d been shifting on and off for some time without much direction or purpose. Apart from the fact that I liked it. It was beautiful to feel so sleek and free and fast. I had those happy sensory memories, but nothing clear. I was careful, maybe too careful. Until the other night when he turned up, I’d never been so blatantly threatened. When it happened, something clicked inside me. And do you know what? I liked it.
I smelled him. Everyone, every creature has their own distinct smell. But human predators stink worse than any animal. That was the first time I clearly remember doing it, in every detail. I clearly remember his freaking awful smell as he approached my property that first time. I’d smelled him before, near my woods. He knew there was a ‘vulnerable’ woman who lived out here. I remember lurching forward onto all fours. Just like he was probably planning to force me to do.
I remember being quiet behind the house, padding across my own grass. I remember crouching low behind him. He had a gun in his pants that he was probably going to put in my mouth. I leapt on him from behind and dug my teeth into his shoulder.
He wasn’t that big. The gun slipped out of his grasp when I flung and pinned him. I got him in an awkward position and pounced again. I grabbed his arm with my mouth. I let my hind legs press down and my claws jab his thigh. I pulled in all the wrong directions. I heard the cracks and snaps. His blood was in my mouth. I tried to stay quiet. I focused hard on him not being able to move. I wanted him to think I was going to eat him. Prick.
But he just wouldn’t stop…shouting and screaming. So loud. I clawed and pulled, raked furiously across him. I started digging into the flesh of his thigh when I couldn’t take his screaming any more. It’s awful when a man screams like a little girl. It hurt my sensitive ears. Plus it set off my panic button. What if somebody saw me? Someone would have to deal with his remains. I went behind the house, licked the blood away and shifted.
I was excited and high as anything, like I’d just ran a marathon. I put on my running things. I lay back and stared at the ceiling. His screaming then blended with the ringing in my ears. It wasn’t so bad now that he was outside.
He’d watched me run. In the woods. He’d clocked a lone female, living out in the sticks, who liked to go out running. I was rather looking forward to him ‘finding’ me. I’d been waiting for him all week. I took note of where his scent came from, where he watched me from. Come closer come closer come closer to me.
I was hungry. I can remember chasing deer before, but I never ate them. If I left any deer kills laying around, it would get noticed. I went around them. But the rapist…I liked stalking him. I liked sinking my teeth into him and hearing his body snap and crack. He deserved every bit of his agony. I could get used to that. Very thrilling and ultimately satisfying. Talk about big game hunting.
After Daniel left, I cooked dinner for myself as I normally would. A big steak and salad. Just plain and rare with salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. When I chewed it I thought about Daniel. I thought about running with him. I remembered how we’d both held back for each other, not wanting to give chase and ignite our aggressive sides in front of each other.
He seemed kind and good. I could see his big powerful cat somewhere behind those green eyes. I knew he was like me and I’d never met anyone like me. But I couldn’t get…involved with him. And if I indulged my attraction to him it would expose me. I value my independence, my solitary existence. But I knew that I wasn’t like other female cougars in one way.
If he touched me in that way I’d crave more. I always would. He’d leave because it’s in his nature to leave and I’d spend the rest of my days pining for more of him. It wouldn’t be like the cocky young jerk in the theatre. My attraction would become an addiction
I couldn’t afford. My mouth would forever water for what I could never consume more than once.
No. I needed to hunt. Not deer. But others like him. The rapist was in a maximum security prison, in the hospital ward. The news said they weren’t positive he would ever recover from his ‘ordeal.’ What a shame. I took another bite of my steak.
I knew that Daniel would need to spend time in the area, do a study. I wasn’t sure how long that would take. But I knew that between the two of us, we couldn’t be around each other just now. We both needed to think. Our silent battle had taken it out of us.
He’d cleared me of keeping an illegal pet. That suspicion made me laugh. What kind of loser kept a beautiful wild animal as a pet? I wasn’t sure but maybe I might find one of them.
I decided to take a vacation while Daniel was ‘surveying the area.’ The fact that I let him stay in my area was a sign of major respect between us. That much I knew. Even if I didn’t want to openly talk about what we were.
I headed down to Florida. I was curious about the area. And yes, I liked that he had a connection to the place. My human needed to be in a different region for a while and I promised myself that I wouldn’t shift unless it was totally necessary.
I wanted to travel naturally. I mean I really wanted to. But it was too dangerous. I wasn’t an experienced mountain lion. I doubted I would make it through all those states undetected.
I knew he had no harmful intentions. He could have gotten forceful with me if necessary. I remember how dark his green eyes turned for a moment. But he wanted my trust enough to deny his inner beast.
I got off the plane in Florida, the heat hitting me hard. Daniel had told me about the mountain lion ‘sub species’ here: the Florida Panther. I was curious how they existed, but had absolutely no intention of encroaching on any territory. I wasn’t going to go to the swamplands or everglades, where if I was looking for a fight with another cougar I could probably get one. I was looking for a quiet, under-populated resort. Someplace I could stretch and be alone.