With a sigh, I set the coffee beside the chair and reached for her. She came without hesitation, and my battered heart sang because that awkward feeling we’d been suffocating under was nowhere to be found.
“God, I missed you,” she confessed quietly.
“I tried to stay away, Bells. I just can’t… I take one look at you and fucking break.”
She palmed my face, rubbing over the longer beard I was sporting. “I don’t want you to stay away.”
“I let you down,” I said, the words ripping right out of me. The darkness swirling inside me began to rise to try and snatch them back, as if keeping them tucked away inside me wouldn’t only allow the darkness to fester.
“I don’t even think it’s possible,”
I shook my head, cutting her off. “I wasn’t there to protect you. I got too caught up with the resort, my dad… my own demons, and it almost got you killed.”
There was that look again. The one I didn’t understand. The second I mentioned my demons, it dropped over her baby blues like a veil.
“I’ve been blaming myself, and you’ve been blaming yourself,” she said, tucking herself against me, her cheek on my shoulder.
Having her in my lap this way was indescribable.
“It’s my job to protect this family.”
“You take on too much for one man, Liam.” Her hand smoothed over my chest and curled around the side of my neck. “You carry the weight of everyone and everything you love like its solely yours to bear. It’s isn’t.” Bellamy lifted her head. “The fact that you’ve been punishing yourself for something you had absolutely no control over hurts me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I murmured, leaning my head back against the leather. I couldn’t help it. The soothing sound of her voice made me feel heavy.
“You haven’t failed anyone. And you most definitely are good enough for me. Hell, if anything, you’re too good for me.”
I opened my eyes. “Don’t ever say that.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, a mutinous expression on her face. “Well, that’s exactly how I feel when you say it.”
My hand settled on her thigh. “I can’t even imagine what you went through that night.” The sudden lump of emotion in my throat threatened to choke me. “I wasn’t there. I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there.”
Bellamy moved, straddling my lap and pushing close. “You were there. In all the ways that matter. If you hadn’t barreled in when you did, he might have shot me. You surprised us both, you know.” Her voice turned rueful. “How did you even know what was happening?”
“Charlie,” I said. The dog lifted his head off the sofa and looked at us. “He walked right into the hotel and wouldn’t stop barking at the staff. They called me, and I figured something was wrong.”
“And Ren was with you?” she asked, trying to piece it together.
“No,” I answered regrettably. “I think he was in Mom’s office down the hall. He heard me yelling at my assistant to get the police over to the house as I was racing out.”
“He followed…” she whispered.
“Yeah.”
“Any parent would do the same.” Bellamy’s hand fluttered to her midsection.
My eyes dropped to her fingers on her stomach. “Bellamy,” I intoned, a funny feeling worming around inside my chest.
Her hand fell away, her eyes timidly meeting mine. “You said you wished I hadn’t gone home alone. That I was being careless.”
I surged up so my back wasn’t touching the seat anymore. Wrapping a hand around the back of her neck, I said, “I told you it was a brief moment.”
“But you’re right.” She insisted. “If I hadn’t gone home early, it might not have happened.”
I sank back. “Honestly, sweetheart, I think we all knew this was coming. If not then, another time. I just hadn’t expected it would be Dad…”
She nodded, staring down at my middle, seemingly lost in her own mind.
“Bells,” I murmured, reaching for her hand, linking ours together.
“I had a reason for being home early, Liam. I wasn’t being careless, at least not intentionally. I was…”
I felt my lips turn down. Watching her struggle was something I would never like. “You were what?”
“I, ah… I’d had a doctor’s appointment earlier in the day, and I was at home, waiting for some test results.”
My heart stopped.
My lungs stopped.
Everything inside me stopped.
“Liam,” Bellamy said. I saw her name on my lips, but didn’t hear her voice. “Breathe!”
I couldn’t. I was stuck, panic in control now.
Not her, too. Sweet mercy, please not Bellamy. I’ve already lost my father.
Plush lips pillowed against mine, gliding over my mouth and snapping me back to the present. I pulled in a deep breath, but she stayed, her tongue skating over mine with a graceful caress.
I moaned and sat up, gripping the back of her head and taking control of our kiss. Slashing my lips over hers again and again. I wasn’t gentle, and neither was she. I kissed her with fierceness, anger, and longing. I kissed her the way I’d wanted to since I’d pulled that gun out of her hand and ushered her into the back of an ambulance. I made love to her mouth because, in the end, words were only words, but action left behind memory.
I only pulled back when my lungs screamed and I knew she needed air.
Her lips were swollen and her eyes were wide as she stared at me, our chests heaving.
I grabbed her face, pleading with her stare.
“It wasn’t those kinds of tests, Liam. I’m fine. I’m healthy.”
I fell back, dizzy with relief. “Next time, lead with that, huh?”
“I’m sorry.” She chewed on her lower lip, and I noted the way her fingers trembled, tucked into her lap.
I took them in mine, lifting one to kiss the back of her hand. “There’s something.”
She nodded, avoiding eye contact. “There’s something.”
“Tell me.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Bellamy
There. I said it. Out loud. In the flesh.
“Pregnant,” he repeated, and I nodded, nervous.
My goodness, I was nervous. This was probably the worst timing ever. The love between us was there, so there, but we were still trying to figure out everything else.
His eyes fell to my midsection, which was still flat. I’d actually lost a few pounds because all I did was throw up.
Suddenly, Liam’s hand shot out, almost startling me because up until that point, he’d been so still. Hovering his giant palm over me, not touching, he whispered, “There’s a baby in there?”
“Your baby.”
Silver eyes flashed up to mine, going wide and bright. Possession unlike anything I’d seen before stole his features. I shivered slightly because it was quite intimidating.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he partly growled, standing up quickly and lifting me with him. Despite the heat in his eyes and tension in his tone, he sat me down quite gingerly, taking a moment to make sure I was firmly on my feet before pacing away.
“We’ve barely had a moment alone,” I said. “This hardly seemed like a thing to blurt out while your father was dying or at his funeral.”
“How long have you known?”
“I was waiting for the blood test results when I was attacked. Then your father… and we haven’t really been speaking.”
Liam spun. “So you never got the results?”
“Not for the blood test,” I said, “But I don’t need it.”
“Bellamy!” he bellowed. “Explain!”
“Don’t you yell at me!” I snapped, then turned away. I tried to hold on to that indignant feeling. That stubborn feeling I got when he tried to boss me.
It was pretty fleeting.
Instead, I was filled with emotion, the kind I was getting pretty freaking tired of. My God, would I ever stop crying?
From behind, Liam made a choked sound. The brush of his hands was like a caress when he laid them on my arms to pull me around. “I didn’t mean to yell, sweetheart, but please. Are you pregnant or not?”
Blinking back the tears, I sucked in a breath and tried to get ahold of myself. “I’m most definitely pregnant,” I said. Pulling away, I went to the kitchen where my bag was sitting where I’d dropped it after we arrived from the reception. I reached in, closing my hand around what I wanted, and then walked back to Liam.
His eyes practically burned through me, his stare so intense. He had always been intense, but this… It scorched me.
Stepping in front of him, I held out the small black-and-white picture, one of the corners curled up a little from being carried around in my bag for several days.
Liam glanced between me and the image, then took it and held it up to study.
He glanced over the edge of it for a brief moment before staring back. “This is a sonogram?”
I nodded and pointed to the little blob that didn’t really look like anything. “That’s the baby right there.”
A soft sound ripped from his lips. He stared in awe for long moments, then lowered the picture to glare. “You had an ultrasound without me!”
“Not on purpose,” I replied. “It was that night at the hospital. You were getting stitches. The nurse came at me with some kind of drug, and I exclaimed I was pregnant.”
“They tried to drug you!” he roared and started away.
I grabbed his wrist. “They did not try to drug me. Geez.”
He glared.
“It was probably something for the shock they said I was in.”
His eyes softened. “You’ve been through too much.”
“Anyway, they did the ultrasound because they wanted to verify what I said. They, ah, wanted to make sure that after everything that happened, I was still pregnant.”
“You could have lost the baby.” His voice was husky.
My throat constricted at the emotion in his tone. At the emotion his words conjured up in me. I knew this baby was a surprise, but the thought of losing him was crippling. “He was okay. They gave me that picture. I heard his heartbeat, too.”
“His?” Liam questioned.
I shrugged lightly. “It’s too soon to tell, but when I think of the baby, it’s a boy I see.”
“All that equipment in your room…” He recalled, glancing at me.
I nodded, guilty. “It was for me.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you have someone come get me?”
“I didn’t even know for sure until they did it. You were already dealing with enough. You were shot, for God’s sake. We thought your dad was in surgery. Your mom… It wasn’t the time for you to worry about anyone else.”
“That’s my kid!” he exclaimed, glancing back at the sonogram he was still clutching. “It’s my job to worry about him.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I was sorry. For so many things.
I moved away, offering him some space. Not telling him right away might not have been the best decision, but it was the only one I could make at the time. It still felt too soon to drop something like this on him, but I couldn’t wait anymore.
I couldn’t demand full truth from him if I wasn’t willing to give it.
“I know this is a shock… Believe me. When I realized how late I was and the reason I’d been throwing up like crazy—”
“You’ve been sick?” he asked, instantly concerned.
I nodded. “At first I thought it was stress. But then it kinda became obvious it wasn’t. I thought women only had morning sickness, so I was confused because mine is mostly at night. ‘Course, now I seem to throw up all the time.” I grimaced. “This baby doesn’t like food.”
Liam stalked across the room, pulling me to him. “I should have been here. You’ve been doing this alone.”
“It’s only been three days,” I murmured against him.
He made a sound, and I felt his lips in my hair. “That’s three days too long.”
I couldn’t help it. I smiled against his chest. I’d missed him. Him and his overbearing ways.
He pulled back, still holding on to me, and searched my face. “How far along are you?” He lifted the picture and squinted at it like he was going to be able to tell by staring.
Suppressing a smile, I replied, “About eight weeks. Well, maybe closer to nine now.”
His eyes flared. “You’ve seen a doctor?”
“Not yet. I got the name of one and a prescription for some vitamins, but I just haven’t had the chance to pick them up or make an appointment.”
“Unacceptable,” he announced, pushing the picture of the baby into his pocket.
I lifted my eyebrow. “What are you doing with that?”
“I’m keeping it.”
“That’s the only picture I have!” I gasped.
“You can look at it whenever you want.”
Oh my God! He was a thief!
The incredulous look on my face seemed to amuse him. He strolled over to me. “Now, sweetheart.” He cajoled. “You get to carry that baby around twenty-four-seven. The least you can do is let me have this picture.”
“This baby makes me puke my guts up!” I accused.
Liam wrapped his arms around me. Jerk face or not, being in his arms felt incredibly good. “I’ll have a talk with him,” he said as though that would fix everything.
I scoffed. He was ridiculous.
After soaking up a little bit of love, I pulled back, nerves coiling in my stomach. “You’re not upset?”
“I’m pretty spicy,” he said, eyes narrowing.
My body tightened, and I stepped back. “I know,” I heard myself say. “It’s a lot to take in. And the timing couldn’t be worse. Here I am running from the mob, and the reason you lost your father… and now—”
“You are not the reason I lost my father,” Liam rebuked harshly. “That bastard Crone is.”
Rationally, I knew Liam was right. I mean, I hadn’t wanted Ren to die. But irrationally? It was going to take a while for me to let myself believe it.
Glancing down at the floor, I took a breath. “I’m sorry, Liam. I know this is a shock, and I know it’s not what you need right now… I want you to know I didn’t do this on purpose. It was an accident.”
Liam’s nose flared and his eyes widened. “No, Bells,” he declared. “This baby was no accident.”
Liam
“You think I got pregnant on purpose?” she asked, her cheeks paling.
I chuckled. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t make that baby all by yourself.”
She put a hand to her stomach, and my chest literally caved in. She was a sight for sore eyes. The best damn thing I’d ever laid eyes on. No amount of medals or trophies, no paycheck or snow drift could ever compare. This was even better than a brand-new custom-made snowboard.
My entire life was standing right in front of me.
“I don’t understand.” She frowned.
I swept forward and lifted her off her feet. “Sweetheart, you told me you wanted everything, and that’s exactly what I gave you.”
Her eyes widened, and she sucked in a breath. “You wanted this to happen?”
“I didn’t necessarily plan it,” I said nonchalantly, setting her down. “After that first time I was bare inside you, the idea of you having my baby was almost primal. I’ve thought about it more than once. This definitely isn’t something I’m surprised to learn.”
“Well, it surprised the hell out of me.”
I laughed. But then I sobered up. I realized she hadn’t exactly acted happy… just cautious. Taking her face in my hands, I studied her. “Are you unhappy about this?”
“I thought you would be!” she wailed, her eyes filling with moisture.
I’d seen enough of her tears to last an entire lifetime. “Don’t cry,” I murmured. “You really thought I would be upset about this?”
She nodded. “Our lif
e is a mess. You’ve been living with your mother, and I’ve been living with your best friend!”
Jealousy was like an electric current. “Does Alex know?”
She looked offended. “I would never tell anyone without telling you first.”
“You should have told me right away.”
“I didn’t want you to feel trapped with me,” she said sadly.
“Sweetheart, I could be physically stuck to you with permanent glue, and I still wouldn’t feel trapped.”
“I was so afraid you’d be upset,” Bellamy confided.
I tipped up her chin so I could stare into her eyes. “I could never.” Both my hands hovered around her midsection, still not reaching out to touch. “There’s really a baby in there,” I said, awed. “A piece of you and me.”
“I’d show you a picture, but I don’t have one,” she muttered.
I chuckled, the warm feeling of joy choking me up a little. “Can I?” I asked, gesturing toward her.
“You don’t even have to ask.”
My palms covered her waist, overlapping and spanning it entirely. Rubbing gently, I smiled. “Hey there, little guy.”
She sniffled, the sound forcing my eyes away from her belly. “You’re happy,” she noted, eyes glistening.
“Oh, sweetheart. I am so happy. Don’t doubt that for another second. I am thrilled as shit about this.”
Sobs broke from her throat, the kind that shook her body and made her a snotty mess. I lifted her and sat in the chair, tucking her into my lap. I stroked her hair while she cried and hated myself for not being here the past three days.
I never should have allowed grief and duty to pull me away.
“Hey,” I murmured when her crying quieted. “What about you? Are you happy?”
She looked up, eyes puffy and tired, but underneath, there was a spark in the blue. A glow. “I love him so much already,” she confided. A small smile played on her lips. “I know the timing is all wrong, but I don’t care.”
“Fuck the timing.” I smirked. “We’ll make it work.”
“I don’t know how.” She fretted.
I gave her a stern look. “You gotta stop stressing, sweetheart. That’s not good for you or the baby.”
Frostbite (BearPaw Resort Book 3) Page 7