“How’s that?” Alex said, turning to face her.
“All you have to do is to remove Ares’s desire to fight you,” she said.
Alex chuckled. “You think I can turn Ares into a pacifist? I’m not sure I can really picture him with flowers on his head singing Let There Be Peace on Earth.”
“I don’t think that’s what she meant,” Odysseus said, his face beaming with approval. “Whatever you do, if you can get Ares to not want to fight you specifically, that will be good enough. Perhaps you can convince him that a better battle elsewhere will satiate his lust for war.”
“Or get him to realize any victory over you is a Pyrrhic one at best,” Jessica added.
“I like it,” Alex said, thoughtfully. “I like it a lot. How did you come up with that?”
“Bumped into a harpy earlier after Heracles ran after a manticore,” she said. She then nodded to the spear she was carrying. “Not sure if I’d have won, damn thing was scary and fast, but I put up enough of a show that she knew I wasn’t worth the risk.”
Alex whistled, thoroughly impressed. “Jessica the Monster Slayer. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“I do,” she replied. “When I get home, I’m going to make that into a book and then a movie and then a huge line of toys.”
“Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you?”
Jessica shrugged. “Never too early to think about merchandising.”
“I’ll leave that up to you,” Alex said. “I’ve got to get going.”
Jessica planted the spear in the ground. “Why am I not surprised you’re leaving me again. I came to help, remember?”
“I know,” Alex said. “And you have been, immensely.” He hugged her tight. “But this last fight is mine alone.”
Jessica settled into the embrace. “Fine, be that way. It was good seeing you again, though.”
“Hey, don’t act like I’m not coming back.”
“You will. I know,” she said. “But when you do, you’ll have your bride back and this will be over, and I’ll have to go back to the mundane life.”
Alex straightened his arms so he could look her in the eyes. “I’ll pull some strings,” he said, smiling. “Your adventures don’t have to end here.”
“Promise?”
“Absolutely.”
As Alex turned and went for his ponies, Jessica called out one last time. “Hey, one other thing, if you could?”
“What’s that?”
“If you meet any single, hottie Greek heroes, send them my way?”
Alex laughed. “As you wish.”
* * *
Alex bolted down the dark tunnel the moment he saw the warm glow of Hephaestus’s forge. He stubbed his toes and bruised his shins a half dozen times along the way, but he cared not. Eagerness drove Alex forward, eagerness to see his plan come to fruition. All he lacked was one little item from the god’s armory.
“Alex, good friend,” Hephaestus said as Alex exited the tunnel. “Back sooner than I thought, yes, but back the victor.”
Alex skidded to a stop a few feet behind the still-working god. “I haven’t won yet,” he said, raising his voice so he could be heard over the sounds of hammer and anvil. “But I will soon.”
Hephaestus’s arm froze, mid stroke, and he turned around, confusion on his face. “We beat him in the arena, did we not? We used our weapon, our pineapple, and sent him running.”
“We did,” Alex replied, fidgeting with the bag that was slung over his shoulder. “Sadly that wasn’t enough. He cheated me out of my victory.”
Hephaestus narrowed his eyes and let slip a low growl. “Cheat, yes. Ares cheats often, as do others,” he said, returning to his work. “They’re all cheats. We should’ve known better.”
“I fight him again tomorrow morning,” Alex declared.
“We wish you the best,” the god flatly replied.
Alex stepped forward. “But I need your help.”
“We helped you once already,” Hephaestus replied. His face hardened and the blows from his hammer fell faster and heavier.
“I appreciate it to no end,” Alex said. “As you said before, we beat him in the arena. We can beat him again.”
Hephaestus grunted and smirked. “To what end? We waste our time fighting. We try, and he always escapes, always laughs at us.”
“I know,” said Alex, gritting his teeth and sharing the god’s frustration. “This stupid war should’ve never happened, but it did. It should’ve ended, but it didn’t. I know I can’t beat Ares—”
“This is supposed to give us confidence?” Hephaestus interrupted with a smirk.
“No,” Alex replied, shaking his head. “But I know how to get him to stop. All I need is your net.”
Hephaestus laughed heartily. “You think we’d give our prized possession so easily so that Ares can take it from you?”
Alex backed, hands up. “No, you’ve got it all wrong,” he said. “I’m not going to give him your net. I’m going to take him down with it.”
Hephaestus shook his head. “No, good friend, he’ll take it from you as he took Hades’ scepter.”
“I swear by the River Styx he’ll do no such thing,” Alex said, hopeful that the oath would sway the god’s mind.
Hephaestus motioned to the countless weapons and shields that hung on the walls. “You may use anything else,” he said, returning to his work. “We must have our net. We must have it to catch them again when the time is right. We cannot make another.”
Alex pulled the bag off his shoulder and took out the recently purchased laptop from inside. “Hephaestus,” he said, waiting until he had the god’s attention before going on. “Hear me out before you say no.”
Hephaestus put down his hammer. “What is that?”
“A laptop,” Alex said, flipping it open and booting it up. “I downloaded some movies off the Internet. Movies of Ares fighting Athena.”
The look on Hephaestus’s face changed from skeptical to inquisitive. He walked over and inspected the laptop like any master craftsman would marveling at something new. “Tell us plainly what you mean.”
“People can make movies with things called cameras,” Alex explained. With a few taps of the touchpad, he opened one of the movies he had downloaded for Hephaestus to see. It was a video Alex had found that one of his old neighbors had made when Athena and Ares decided to duke it out in front of his former home. The audio was crap and filled with expletives, and some of the shots were ruined by someone swinging the camera wildly, but it still managed to faithfully capture most of the fight.
“Cameras record events as they happen,” Alex explained. “That way people can come back later and see what happened.”
Hephaestus smiled like a father proud of his children. “What fine smiths you mortals have become to produce such a thing,”
Alex hit the replay button once the video finished. “I’ve studied this countless times and learned a few things about Ares,” Alex said. He watched the timer at the bottom of the screen, and when it reached 0:42, he paused the video. “This is the second time Ares throws a car at Athena. At first glance, it looks like a good throw, but he always throws a little right of center. Always. The first throw was the same, but it’s harder to see thanks to the terrible camera angle.”
Hephaestus didn’t immediately reply, and Alex resumed the movie until another thirty seconds had passed at which point he stopped it again. This time, instead of a frame displaying an airborne auto, the screen showed Athena deftly spinning out of one of Ares’ holds. “This is Athena getting away, obviously,” Alex said. “Ares likes to grab the forearms and pull in close. I imagine he likes to be up close as he pummels his victim.”
“Athena fights better than we do,” Hephaestus said.
“She does,” Alex acknowledged. He then moved the play bar up a few minutes to where Ares and Athena wrestled on the ground, covered in the remains of Alex’s house.
“But I’m not about to fight Ares hand to hand,” he said. “This is after they nuked my house, my fish…my piano. You can see Athena is trying to get out of her brother’s hold on the ground, but she’s struggling a lot at this point.”
“Which means what?”
“It means Ares knows he excels when the fight hits the ground,” Alex explained. “If the fight lasts long enough, he’ll want to play to that strength and get things on the ground as quickly as possible.”
“Knowing he’ll probably charge is one thing, knowing when he will is something else.”
“True,” said Alex. He backed the movie up about twenty seconds. “But look what happens when Athena turns her back on him right before they obliterate my house,” he said as the video played. “It takes a few seconds, but what she does really pisses him off. I know you can’t see it well, but I was there. He turned crimson right before he charged. I don’t think he could control himself if his life depended on it at that point.”
Alex checked his watch. “I’m out of time,” he said. “I’ve got to get back soon, and I’ve still got to get to the River Acheron. Please, we could easily be here another hour discussing everything. Lend me your net. I can get him to run right into it, thus defeating him, ending this war, and regaining my bride.”
When Hephaestus hesitated, Alex quickly added, “I’ll even have him promise to leave your wife alone.”
The god cracked a brief grin. “We appreciate your friendship,” he said. “But even if you could end his lies, what would it matter? She still sneaks about. She still takes advantage of us when our back is turned. No, good friend, ridding us of Ares does not solve our problem. It does not save the marriage.”
“Then what would?” asked Alex.
Hephaestus grunted. “Don’t pretend you can fix such things. We’ve tried for eons, but they are so elusive now. How can we confront her lies without proof? And if we cannot confront those lies, how will we ever fix that which is broken? How can we convince the others that they are still sneaking off behind our back?”
Alex chuckled, then immediately straightened, looking mortified at his behavior. “Sorry,” he said, hoping he didn’t have to dodge a hammer. “But if all you need is a way to keep an eye on her, take my laptop. We can put some webcams around and voila! You’ll not only see what’s going on, but have proof of it, too.”
“Won’t she see these cameras?”
“No,” he said. “They’re super tiny now. And you can always disguise them as anything you want and place them anywhere you need. Play to her vanity if you must and give her one as a gift.”
The god sucked in a long, slow breath, and smiled. “This could work.”
“It will work!”
“Then in exchange for your laptop and help getting cameras, and most of all for being a good friend and keeping your word and your desire to help, we will loan you our net.”
“Thank you!” Alex said, grabbing the god’s hand and shaking it. “You’ve no idea how appreciative I am.”
“And you have no idea what we will do to you if it’s lost,” said Hephaestus. “Hades might not be able to make chains for his wheel, but we can. We can make a great number of things that can tear flesh and sanity with ease.”
The God of Smiths limped away and plucked the net from the wall. A brief twist of its links turned it invisible. “Do like this and it fades from sight,” he said. “Twist back or catch your prey and all can see its golden links. My net will close on whatever you cast it upon, and it will only release when you desire it to.”
Alex took the net from Hephaestus, noting it was far lighter than he had expected. “Thank you again, Hephaestus. The next time you see me, I’ll return your net and give my eternal thanks once more.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Alex flew to Termessos as fast as his little ponies would go. They breathed heavily and grunted often, and Alex wondered if he might run them to death. That was a chance he was willing to take, however, since he’d spent too long in the Underworld, and he feared Aphrodite might get frustrated at having to wait and do something to ruin his plan. More than once Alex told himself that these little ponies came from the same farm that bred horses to pull the sun. Thus having them blaze a trail from the Underworld to Termessos ought to be nothing more than a fun run. Thankfully, his worries never materialized, and with two live, happy ponies, Alex reached Ares’ fortress.
“Sorry I’m late,” Alex said to all once he arrived. He checked the ponies’ bridles one last time before approaching Ares, Athena, Aphrodite and Zeus, all of whom stood outside the fortress gates. “Lost track of time.”
Athena took a quick step forward. “Wasting time fishing, Alex?” she asked with annoyance. “Or are those for decoration?”
Alex glanced over his shoulder to where two rope nets hung from his chariot’s side. “No,” he replied. “Odysseus gave me the nets a while ago when I was hunting lions. I guess I haven’t figured out what else to do with them.”
“Perhaps when we’re done here you can use them on another hunt,” Zeus said. “There’s many a ferocious creature you can tackle with them, but they will take time and cunning to persevere over.”
“All the more reason for us to wrap this up quickly,” said Aphrodite.
“Yes. Let’s get this done,” said Alex, adjusting the rifle sling to the Garand he had over his shoulder.
Athena pressed her lips together and folded her arms over her chest. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to your wife.”
“I only want everyone to be happy,” he replied. He then turned to Ares. “You have Hades’ scepter?”
Said scepter appeared in Ares’ hands, and the god answered. “I do.”
“Good.” Alex sucked in a breath and steeled himself for the performance of a lifetime. He turned and faced the God of Thunder. “Mighty Zeus, ruler of the Olympians, I humbly beseech you to grant me one favor.”
Zeus chuckled. “If it will settle a squabble between my children, I’m listening. The three of them won’t leave me alone! It makes disappearing…difficult, as of late.”
“Yes, this will end the squabble,” Alex said. He paused as he caught Aphrodite nudge Ares with an elbow and Athena sigh in disgust. “For far too long I questioned my love for Euryale, and it took our separation and untold amounts of suffering to realize my love for her is always a choice, never a feeling. Thus, I’m here to say to all of you, my vows I made in front of you, Zeus, and her father, The Old Man, are stronger than ever before.”
Aphrodite’s mouth hung open. She stammered over a half dozen words as her face burned bright. The fact that Athena’s face had the smuggest grin Alex had ever seen probably didn’t help either. “You think this will end things?” she finally got out.
Alex shook his head, and kept his attention on the God of the Sky. “Zeus, make me your champion, and let me put an end to how Ares mocks your ruling. Every time he challenges me, intent on breaking the bonds between myself and Euryale, he is intent on destroying what you have sanctified.”
Zeus held up a hand, keeping both Ares and Aphrodite in check. “You make a fine argument, Alex, but I have spoken with Ares in private. He has a right to challenge you.”
Alex nodded. “Then let this be the final challenge. Let everything be decided between us with this last battle. We shall go, nonstop, till the other tires of combat and yields to the other.”
“What say you?” Zeus said to the God of War.
“I always knew you were a true warrior,” Ares said, beaming with pride. “I accept your challenge. We shall take to the field of battle one last time and engage in glorious combat! Let us shake hands as friends before we fight as enemies!”
“I don’t think so,” Alex said as apathetically as he could. He pulled a piece of Hot-N-Tuff from his pocket and began to chew, hoping such an act would add further insult to the god. “I don’t want to lower myself by touching the hand of someone about to be defeated.”
Ares’ spear zipped by the left side of his head. A split-second later, Alex pulled the trigger. The Garand kicked, and though it hadn’t been properly seated in his shoulder, his aim was good enough. The round struck Ares on his right thigh, and the god dropped to one knee screaming in pain.
Alex jumped on to his chariot and cracked the reins. His ponies bolted into the air, but Alex didn’t let them go too far. He brought the chariot around in a large, slow circle as Ares took his feet. “You like that?” Alex yelled. “I dipped them in the River Acheron. They’ve got a nice sting to them now, don’t they?”
Ares, face contorted and red with rage, cried out with the voice of a thousand charging men. He drove across the battlefield, leaving a stunned Aphrodite and Zeus (but an amused Athena) behind as he scooped up his spear.
Alex aimed and fired again, and then a third and fourth time. But not a single shot found its mark, for wherever Ares was when Alex pulled the trigger, by the time the bullet flew from the weapon, the god had already moved. Shaken at Ares’ blinding speed, Alex cracked the reins again and tore across the sky. The sudden acceleration nearly threw Alex from the body of the chariot, but he managed to catch himself on the edge.
“Will you run forever, Alex?” Ares shouted. “How long do you think your ponies can keep you safe?”
Alex didn’t bother to reply or even look at the god. No doubt Ares was lining up another throw. With that thought forefront in Alex’s mind, he yanked his reins down and to the right, sending his ponies into an earth-bound spiral.
Something whooshed past his head, and Ares bellowed a curse from below.
The ground rushed up to meet Alex, and he quickly righted his ponies’ path. Skimming across the rocky terrain, he glanced to his left, back to where he guessed Ares would be, and saw the god as he brought his spear up and over his shoulder.
The Gorgon Bride Page 26