“Well, you can sleep without this little girl tonight because I’m out of here.”
“Don’t you walk away from me, Alexa.”
An ominous change had stolen my elated disposition, and things were about to get disastrously worse.
Chapter 17: A Double Life
“I’m sorry for standing at your door this early in the morning, but Scotty and I had a huge fight. I didn’t know where else to go.”
“Are you okay?” Ruth asked with a speculative look. “What’s going on?”
A muscular bare-chested man showed up behind her, just before I could explain the situation
“Everything okay? He yawned as he ran his fingers through his thick dark hair.
“Uh—I see I caught you at a bad time. I’ll just go.”
“Alexa, no, it’s okay. This is Daniel.”
“I’m sorry for the intrusion,” I said.
“It’s no problem,” Daniel replied in a deep husky voice that sounded like the growl of a distant storm.
“Daniel, can you give me a minute?” Ruth asked.
“Sure.” He smiled kindly and went on his way.
“It’s okay.” Ruth gently took me by the arm and pulled me inside. “You’re more than welcome to stay here.”
“No, I shouldn’t. You have company.”
Ruth pulled out pillows and blankets from the linen closet any without hesitation, and dressed the living room couch for me to sleep on.
I awoke a few hours later to the sound of the doorbell buzzing and several hearty knocks. After a long period of silence, I heard whispers coming from the front.
“You have a visitor,” Ruth said.
I made my way to the front door, knowing I had nowhere else to hide.
“Alexa, we need to talk,” Scotty said. He was dressed sloppily in a black hoodie and faded blue jeans.
“How did you know I was here?”
“I had a vague premonition.”
“Well, I think we did enough talking last night.”
“Look, I’m sorry. We both got caught a little over our heads and said some things we didn’t mean.” Scotty took my hand and looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes. “Let’s just go to breakfast somewhere and have a civilized conversation. Please?”
I surrendered after I allowed my stomach to do most of the thinking at the image of a heaping plate of pancakes, slathered in maple syrup. It was too tempting to resist, even if my marriage was falling apart in the process.
***
The drive to the coffee shop was uneventful, with little conversation along the way. A dozen people stood around restlessly waiting for a seat. The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the air and snuck its way up into my nose. My stomach growled with just one sniff.
“Two please,” Scotty said to the hostess.
The hurried hostess sat us down at a booth across from a screaming baby.
“Can I get you two something to drink?” asked a petite brunette waitress.
“Two coffees please,” Scotty said. He gently grabbed my hand in one quick reach, and began, “Alexa—”
“Scotty, I don’t feel like being touched right now, okay?” I quickly removed my hand from his. “Please.”
“You know I hate fighting with you. It breaks my heart.”
“I know,” I said softly. “It doesn’t make me feel good either.”
“The fact that you felt you couldn’t tell me about losing your job—well that really hurt me.”
Time had given me a different prospective on the situation, and frankly, I didn’t care anymore. Lately, lying to Scotty had become so routine that I began to believe the lies myself.
“It had nothing to do with you, Scotty. It was more about my pride.”
“Two coffees?” asked a busboy.
“Yes, thank you.” After I took a sip of the hot liquid, every nerve in my body tingled as it warmed my insides.
Scotty poured creamer into his coffee and stirred it slowly with a spoon. “I’m really sorry you felt that way.” He loved me unconditionally—that was always painstakingly clear.
“Are you two ready to order?” asked our waitress.
“We’ll have two mega breakfasts with fried eggs and bacon,” I said.
Scotty spoke again once she had left us alone. “Alexa, you can tell me anything. I don’t want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed, no matter what the situation is. You make me out to be this self-absorbed guy who only thinks about himself,” he explained. “I just wanted to show off my beautiful wife last night. I felt so empty, so alone, without you.”
My cell phone vibrated in my purse before I could reply to Scotty’s comment. Carter’s phone number flashed on the caller I.D. He always had a habit of calling at the most inopportune moments, but God, I was dying to talk to him.
“I have to use the ladies’ room. Be right back.” I hurried to the restroom to answer my phone. “You rang?” I asked, suddenly feeling lightheaded.
“Just wanted to make sure you got home safe last night.”
There was no legitimate reason to mention the string of events that had happened after I returned home, nor did I want to. “I’m great. Everything’s fine.”
“Good. All that matters is that you got home in one piece,” he said. “Oh, don’t forget to watch Leno tonight.”
“I won’t,” I responded. “You’re getting on a plane soon?”
“Yeah, but there’s been a change of plans. I’ll only be in Sweden a week.”
“I want to see you the day you’re back in town.”
“We’ll definitely make that happen.”
I hung up and made my way back to the table, feeling as though I was on cloud nine.
“Wow. What happened? This isn’t the same Alexa who left the table just minutes ago,” Scotty said as he dug into a tower of butter-drenched pancakes. “You must be feeling better.”
I took a bite of bacon and said, “Well, since we’ve cleared the air, I think I should tell you the news. I have an interview for a new job.”
“That’s wonderful. For what?”
“It’s a permanent job for a new television drama in the works,” I said, shoveling a forkful of fried eggs into my mouth.
“Alexa, that’s fantastic. This is what you’ve always wanted.”
“I know, but I don’t want to get my hopes up just yet.”
“With your talent, it’s already a done deal.”
***
With so much on my mind, I nearly forgot about Carter’s appearance on Jay Leno that night. I fell asleep on the couch and awoke to the sound of Scotty chuckling next to me.
“What’s going on?” I asked, drowsily.
“Your old buddy’s on television.”
I dismounted myself from the couch and walked closer to the television, suddenly snapping into full alertness—Carter was chatting with THEE Mr. Jay Leno.
“God, you can tell this guy is so into himself,” Scotty mentioned.
The comment was unnecessarily disrespectful. “No, he’s not.”
“Are you kidding me? Look at him.” Scotty definitely had no idea what he was talking about. “It’s not like he hides it.”
“He just has a lot of confidence,” I retorted.
“Yeah, whatever. I would, too, if I made the kind of money he does.”
I continued to stare at Carter on the television screen. I wanted to touch him so badly that it hurt.
“Anyway, he’s probably just waiting for the perfect moment to come out of the closet. He totally looks like a homo,” Scotty chimed in.
Rather insulted, I shot back, “He’s not gay.”
“How would you know? You haven’t talked to him in years. Weren’t you two just kids when he took off?”
I walked back over to the couch and faced him. “Jealous much?”
“What me?” Scotty asked with the most condescending chuckle. “I don’t think so.”
“Yo
u know nothing about him, Scotty, so why don’t you just shut your filthy mouth!”
My anger had metastasized into something I suddenly had no control over. After I stomped out of the room, I realized that I might have made it a bit too obvious.
***
On the day of the interview, I sat at a twenty-foot cherry wood conference table overlooking the ABC lot. I waited a good amount of time, hoping the spark of uneasiness flashing through the pit of my stomach would vanish. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but I began to feel as though someone had forgotten about me. The idea lost its steam when a fortyish, dark-haired man walked into the room.
“Hi, Alexa. I’m Gian McDonald, executive producer.” He met my gaze and shook my hand. “Traci and our producer, Alan, should be here in just a second.”
He was on the shorter side and had a rough appearance about him. His goatee made him look intimidating, but that aside, his endearing smile calmed me.
I slid my portfolio over to Gian. He opened it and said, “I’ve heard some exceptional things about you.”
Gian and I chatted about my previous experience in the industry. After a good thirty minutes, in walked Traci and a skinny long-haired man with a slew of tattoos on his arms.
“Alexa, this is our producer, Alan White,” Traci said, taking a seat at the conference table. She was petite and sported short reddish layered hair.
“Hello, Alexa. Nice to meet you,” Alan said, shaking my hand.
“Did Gian tell you anything about the series?” Traci asked. “Well, we’re aiming for a show that’s similar to Sex and the City, but with a cast focusing on men.”
“The adventures of four male best friends living in Los Angeles and dating,” Gian chimed in.
“It sounds interesting,” I said, intrigued.
“We’re in the middle of filming the pilot episode, so we’re going to need another makeup artist as soon as possible,” Alan mentioned.
“Well, your portfolio is impressive. We still have a few other people we’re interviewing. I’ll be in touch,” Gian said.
I stood up and shook each one of their hands; sensing disappointment was on its way.
***
I came home to find Scotty in the bedroom packing.
“Hey,” I said, eyeing his suitcase curiously.
“Hey, hon. How did it go?” Scotty asked.
I shrugged. “Good I guess. I really didn’t get a straight answer.”
“Well, give it time. It doesn’t happen overnight. You’re dealing with the big dogs now.”
“Are you going somewhere?” I asked.
“The CEO of a telecommunications company asked me to come meet him in San Francisco. He’s interested in purchasing several vacation homes in Orange County.” Scotty stuffed some socks into his suitcase. “He asked for me personally. Can you believe it? I caught the first flight out. I have to be at the airport in the next hour or so. I know it’s last minute.”
“Go and do what you have to do.”
“So, you’re cool with me leaving?”
“Of course.”
“Good,” he said, kissing me on the forehead. “I’ll be back in a few days.”
I reveled in Scotty’s momentum, knowing the timing was too perfect. For the first time since we’d met, I was excited for him to leave on a trip without me.
“You’ll be okay, right?” Scotty asked.
“Yeah, don’t worry about me. I’ll keep myself busy.”
I pulled myself out of my self-absorption by the time Scotty left for the airport. It was only minutes later that I got an unexpected phone call.
“I’m baacccck,” Carter said.
“And I have good news for you too,” I said, bracing myself. “Scotty left for the weekend.”
“Hmm. We might have to take advantage of this.”
“We better. Opportunities like this don’t come around very often.”
“I have to make an appearance at a movie premier tonight. Why don’t you come by tomorrow night?”
I couldn’t think of a thing I anticipated more than being in Carter’s arms again.
***
Isabella dropped by unexpectedly the next afternoon to have me sign some paperwork.
“So did you hear anything about my interview?” I asked.
“No, not yet,” she said, taking a teaspoon of artificial sweetener and carefully stirring it around in her tea. “Don’t stress out about it. Everything will happen the way it’s supposed too.”
“I’m just really antsy. I want that job,” I said, sitting down at the table beside her.
“Like I just said, things will work out the way they’re supposed to. You shouldn’t worry so much.”
Paranoid and unashamed of it, I expelled a deep sigh. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“Alexa, is something else bothering you? You seem a little preoccupied.”
I looked down into my cup of tea for a long, uneasy moment. “Isabella, do you ever look back on your life and wish you could go back and do things differently?”
“I think everyone has those moments. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. It’s just sometimes I think about what life would have been like if I hadn’t gotten married.”
“Darling, I don’t know where this is coming from, but look around you.” She frowned and dismissively waved her hands in the air. “You live in a beautiful house—a wonderful husband and a career that’s just about to take off. Why on Earth would you want to start over?”
Isabella would never understand how I felt. If I told her about Carter, she’d disapprove and fire off a painful tongue-lashing. I decided against speaking about it further.
“Never mind. It was just a crazy thought,” I said.
“Does this have anything to do with babies?”
She couldn’t have been further off. “Oh no.”
“But Scotty is still pressuring you, right?”
“Not as much as he was before. He knows my career comes first right now.”
“I’m glad you know what you want, dear. When you are finally ready, you won’t feel like you made a mistake.”
Before I left for Carter’s house that evening, I made a decision that would change the course of my life. I wasn’t sure how Carter would react, but it was worth fighting for.
AND DON’T MISS THE STUNNING CONCLUSION, FOREVER BLUE: NEW TEARS TO CRY OLD SONGS TO SING, COMING TO EBOOK APRIL 2012
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