by Grace White
Color explodes in my cheeks as Cael smacks Endo upside the head. “Not cool, dude.”
“What?” he protests. “I’m just saying it made a nice change seeing him less growly.”
“I think I’m going to take this out back.” I grab the coffee mug and head for the back door leaving Cael to scold Endo.
It’s a beautiful morning. The sun is already high in the sky, but the air is crisp. The leaves on the trees turning orange, a sign fall is on its way.
“Is this seat taken?”
I don’t answer Cael, but he sits down anyway. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“Did... did Sol say anything this morning?”
“Honestly, Kitten, he didn’t need to. Last night was long overdue.” My lips flatten, and Cael inclines his head. “I feel like I’m missing something here.”
“Something happened.”
“I heard.” He grins, but it slips when a deep scowl mars my face. “Terra, what’s wrong?”
“We... he...” I search for the right words. “Sol and Gaia, they...”
Cael’s mouth drops open and then snaps shut. “Sol and Gaia... I don’t understand.”
“We didn’t have sex, Cael.” My cheeks flush deeply. “Sol and Gaia did.”
“Kitten, we’ve been through this—”
“I know how it sounds, Cael. I know I sound like a crazy person, but I’m telling you; it wasn’t me. It was her. She took over. And Sol, he...” the words die on the tip of my tongue. The way he’d touched her. Kissed her. It was nothing compared to what we’d shared only minutes earlier. Gaia was a woman. Confident and in control of her body. Her needs. I was nothing more than a girl. A shy, inexperienced girl.
“Wait a second,” Cael says. “Let me get this straight. You and Sol spent all night together, but you’re saying it wasn’t you he was with? Because I don’t want to sound like a creeper, Kitten, but I heard you. We all did.”
“We did... stuff.” I blush. “And then afterwards we were talking, and I don’t know she just came out.”
“Came out?”
“I don’t know, okay! One minute it was me and the next I sounded different.” Silence settles between us as Cael considers my words. “It’s not the first time it’s happened,” I add. “It happened before with you.”
Realization dawns on his face and he sucks in a ragged breath. “It was her. When we... it was Gaia.”
I nod, unable to speak over the lump in my throat.
“Kitten, why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you—”
“I tried, but you seemed okay with what had happened and I... I was scared.”
He scrubs his face. “Shit, this is...” he blows out a long breath. “I promise, Kitten, Sol didn’t think there was anyone in the room last night except you and him.”
“He talked to you about me? About us?”
“He didn’t say much but last night was a huge deal for him. And he made it crystal clear that it was you.”
But how is that possible? I’d seen with my own eyes how he responded to Gaia. To her seductive voice and dirty words.
“It really wasn’t you?”
“I was there, but it was like I was locked in my body. I couldn’t speak and I couldn’t move.”
The color drains from his face. “This is bad, Kitten. If Sol finds out he’ll—”
“He’ll never touch me again.” Not that I wanted that right now. But the idea of him pulling away again was almost as bad. “What do I do?”
“We keep this between the two of us. Just for now. Until we can figure out what’s going on. And it might be better for everyone if we avoid physical contact for now.”
“Leper status.” I grimace. “Got it.”
“Terra, it isn’t like that and you know it.”
“I know,” I sigh admitting defeat. “I’m just... when will this end, Cael?”
He drags his chair closer so that his legs encase mine and he pulls me into his arms. “We’ll figure this out, Kitten. I promise.”
I enjoy the sanctuary of his embrace for a couple seconds then pull away. “You just broke the 'no touching' rule.”
“For you, I’d break all the rules.”
It’s supposed to be a joke, and maybe another day, I would have managed a smile. But today, I’m tired. My body aches and my head hurts, and I want nothing more than to get into bed and sleep.
“You should rest,” Cael says. “Ross and Sol will be gone all day and there isn’t much to do around the house. Have a bath and rest and if you feel like coming down later to play Scrabble or Monopoly, I’m sure Endo will be more than willing.”
“A bath sounds nice actually. And you’ll warn me before Sol comes home? I’m not ready...” I swallow. “I’m not ready to see him yet.”
“Kitten.” There’s an edge to Cael’s voice I don’t want to hear. “You can’t avoid him forever. I know last night was confusing for you but don’t take it away from him. Not until we know what happened.”
“I...” I want to tell him I can’t do it. That I can’t be alone with Sol anytime soon, but he’s right. Sol opened up to me last night, and before Gaia managed to break through my mental barriers, it had been amazing. He’d been attentive and gentle and warm.
Tears burn the backs of my eyes as I remember the way he’d looked at her.
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“What?” I gasp. “No. I just...” I bite back the truth refusing to even think it. Some things are mine and mine alone. “I’ll be upstairs. Thank you, for everything.”
I HIDE OUT IN MY ROOM for the rest of the day reading a book I’d found in the study. I’m so lost in the pages that when my cell phone starts vibrating I almost jump out of my skin.
“Amalia?”
“Terra, thank God,” she rushes out. “I’ve been so worried.”
“I told you, I’m fine. I just have a lot going on right now.”
“Yeah, I know,” she sighs. “I just, it was so sudden, and you didn’t even say goodbye.”
“I’m sorry.” I hate lying to her. Especially since the guys seem certain she isn’t the threat. “I got the call and things happened so fast. I really am sorry.” For everything, I add mentally.
“Well, as long as you’re okay. Claire and Mischa send their love. Grey and the twins too.”
I notice how she didn’t include Harry and Violet, but I can’t say as I’m surprised. Harry is well, Harry, and Violet has been keeping her involvement with me and the guys quiet. For obvious reasons.
“How’s things at the dorm?” I ask trying to change the subject. “What’s happening with Prank Wars?”
“Monȃe hit us good...” she launches into a play by play account of the latest pranks and I’m happy to listen. It’s only been a few days, but I miss her. I miss the normalcy of college life. Even if my life has been anything but normal since arriving at Atchison.
“Anyway, enough about school. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Honestly, I’m fine. My, hmm, my uncle doesn’t have many relatives, so he didn’t know who else to call.” The lie sours on my tongue but I remind myself it’s for the best. “Oh actually, I hear him calling now. I should probably go. But I’ll text you later, okay?”
“Okay. If you need anything, Terra, you know where I am.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”
We hang up and although it was nice talking to her, our conversation weighs heavy on my mind. So when Endo’s voice filters into the room. “Terra, we’re about to eat dinner if you want to come down?” I don’t reply. It’s silly but I’d rather him think I’m asleep or avoiding them all than know the truth. My cell phone vibrates, and I think maybe Amalia forgot to tell me something, but it’s Cael.
Cael: You can’t hide forever
Me: I’m not hiding, I’m regrouping
Cael: He’s on his way here. I’ll try to distract him, but this is Sol we’re talking about
Me: Please, Cael. Please don’t let him come up here
Cael: I’ll try my best
I hear them arrive minutes later. Their four voices echo around the house as they joke and laugh. God, he’s laughing. Sol is laughing. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh. Their voices grow quieter as they move further into the house. The smell of cheese and pepperoni drifts into my room and my stomach rumbles with yearning, but I can’t go down there. I can’t sit opposite him and pretend everything is okay.
Forcing myself back into my story, time blurs. I’m startled by a knock on my door. “Open the door, Terra.” Sol’s voice is back to its usual growly tone.
“I’m not feeling well,” I call just as my cell vibrates.
Cael: I’m sorry. I tried, but he sensed something was wrong
Damn him. Damn them all and our intrusive connection.
“Terra, if you don’t open this door right—”
“Hey, man, give her some space.” It’s Endo, but his voice does little to ease the tight knot in my stomach.
“Back off, Endo. This is not your concern.”
He scoffs at that. “Anything to do with her is our concern. Don’t act like this is only about the two of you. That’s bullshit, and you know it. Now come downstairs and we can talk it through like—” There’s a scuffle followed by a loud bang and then my door flies open.
Sol fills the doorjamb, his eyes pinning me to the spot. “We need to talk.”
“No.” I steel myself, forcing myself to meet his hard glare. “I need space. You need to leave.”
“Leave? You have got to be fucking kidding me. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going on.” His glare bites into my skin but I don’t shrink. Standing taller, I jut out my chin meeting him glare for glare.
Endo’s head appears over Sol’s shoulder; he’s clutching his nose looking pissed. “You hit me? You actually hit me?” It’s muffled.
“Not the time, Endo.” Sol keeps his eyes on mine.
“She already told you, she doesn’t want to talk. Although given the fact you just broke my nose, I’d like to know what you did to piss her off.”
“It’s not broken, stop acting like a pussy.”
“Endo, this isn’t helping,” I say. “Sol was just leaving. You can make sure he gets downstairs okay.”
“I, hmm...” his eyes widen. “Cael’s here. Thank the gods Cael is here.”
“Kitten, is everything okay in there?”
I can’t see him, but I call back, “Everything will be fine when Sol leaves.”
“This is bullshit.” The muscle in Sol’s jaw pulsates. “I thought... nah, forget it. I should have known better.” He spins around slamming his hand against the doorjamb and disappears into the hall.
“Endo, you take him, I’ll deal with Terra,” Cael says but my mind is a blur as my body trembles.
“How are you holding up in there?” He approaches me slowly. “Kitten, earth to Kitten?”
“I’m ...” Nope. I have nothing. I can’t un-see the broken expression on Sol’s face.
“He’ll come around.”
“Will he?” Cael had said himself that if Sol discovered the truth of last night it would ruin everything. “I should have talked to him,” I concede, but the second I laid eyes on him all I could see was him and me. But not me me. The Gaia me. The confident sexy goddess.
“You need to get used to this,” Cael says, taking my hand and leading me to the bed. He tugs me down beside him. “This isn’t just about Gaia, Terra. It’s you. We feel drawn to you. We want to protect you. We want to love you.”
I blink over at him. It’s the first time he’s said it aloud to me. His cheeks flush as he dips his head and looks at me through his thick lashes. “I love you, Kitten. I think I have since that first day I helped you with your map. Yes, I know it’s crazy and I don’t expect you to say it back, but I want you to know where I’m at. All I’ve ever known is a life protecting Earth and fulfilling my oath to Gaia. But you make me want more.”
“Cael, I—”
There’s a loud bang followed by loud voices. “Shit, that doesn’t sound good. I should go see if they need help.”
“Should I come?”
“No.” Cael jumps up. “Stay here and wait for me to come get you, okay? Sol can be... well, he’ll need time to calm down. But don’t worry. We know how to handle him.” He presses a kiss to my head and charges out of the bedroom.
11.
Sol left and didn’t come back. Cael and Endo managed to coax me out of my room to play a game of Scrabble, but my heart wasn’t in it. I didn’t like how things were left between us. Sol didn’t understand everything. He’d picked up on my emotions, my unwillingness to see him, and lost his cool. Something that Cael explained happened a lot. They reassured me he’d be calmer in the morning, except the morning rolled around and there was still no sign of him.
“Coffee?” Endo says as I slink into the kitchen. With my head pounding, and my muscles like lead, not even coffee sounds appealing to me right now. “Whoa, are you okay Glow?”
“Terra,” I grind out. “My name is Terra.”
“Vasilissa,” he breathes, stalking toward me. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t feel so good.” I’d slept restlessly, tossing and turning; the events of the day playing on my mind.
Endo brushes the hair from my face and presses his palm against my forehead. “You feel warm.”
“Nothing Advil and a glass of water won’t sort out.”
“I’d kiss you better, but Cael says we’re to avoid physical contact.”
“Don’t remind me,” I grumble, accepting the two pills from Endo and washing them down with the glass of water he hands me.
“I think a hug is safe. If you can manage not to cop a feel.” He winks, and I fight a grin.
“Don’t make me laugh, it hurts.” I rub my breastbone trying to ease the tightness there.
“Come here.” He wraps his arms around me and I sink into his chest. He smells so good, I can’t resist breathing him in. “Not that I’m complaining but did you just smell me?”
“Who’s smelling who?” Cael breezes into the kitchen looking far too chirpy for my mood to bear.
“Terra’s sniffing me.”
“Am not,” I protest from the crook of his neck.
“I thought we agreed no touching. at least not until we know more.” The words are like ice in my veins.
“It’s only a hug. Completely innocent.”
“Well, in that case, let me in.” A hard body presses up against my back caging me between the two of them. Cael’s mouth brushes the nape of my neck where my messy ponytail is gathered. “Morning, Kitten.”
“Good morning,” I grumble.
“Whoa, you sound sick. She’s sick?” he asks Endo.
“She’s warm and her head hurts.”
“Did you take something?”
“Advil. I think I need—” my legs give way, but my body doesn’t go anywhere, suspended between them both.
“Jesus, Terra.” Endo takes my weight as Cael backs up giving us room.
“Here, sip this water.” He thrusts a glass at me, but I bat it away. “I just need to lie down.” I start to move away from Endo, but the room spins and I feel myself falling. Until four arms grab me.
“Shit, she’s weak.”
“Here, let me.” I’m scooped up and cradled against a hard chest. From the familiar smell, I know it’s Endo’s chest.
“Geez,” I mumbled. “This is embarrassing.”
“I like it. It makes me feel all manly.” He brushes my head with his lips as he starts the ascent up the stairs.
Inside my room, Cael fusses with the bed covers and then motions for Endo to lie me down. “How are you feeling now?”
“Strange,” I say. “You don’t think...” I swallow the words because I don’t want to think the worst. I probably just have the flu coming. Or maybe it was Endo’s cooking.
“I’m going to call the others, and Violet. She might have so
me ideas.” Cael goes to leave but I bolt upright and snag his wrist. “Stay. Please.”
“I’ll make the calls,” Endo says. “You take care of our girl.”
Our girl.
My heart swells as Cael drops onto the edge of the bed and takes my hand in his. “You’re running a fever. Any stomach ache?”
“You think it could be an Asodomi?”
“No, but I had to ask.”
“It could be... her,” I whisper, feeling dread pool in my stomach.
“Maybe. Maybe not.” The corners of his mouth turn down. “Have you felt her again?”
“Not since...” I suck in a harsh breath forcing out the memories.
“It’s okay.” Cael squeezes my hand. “We don’t need to do this right now. Close your eyes and rest. I’ll be right here. I promise.”
His voice lulls me into that strange place where you’re dancing on the precipice of being awake and asleep. I’m aware of Cael shuffling. Then he’s beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and guiding my head onto his chest. But I’m too tired to say thank you.
I find myself standing in a dark room. “Hello,” I call, feeling the prick of fear ripple across me. “Is anyone there?”
Moving around the room, my eyes strain against the darkness. “Hello.” My voice echoes on an endless loop as I push further into the dark abyss.
Something moves behind me, a blast of cold air rushing over my nape of my neck. “Who’s there?” I spin around, only to be greeted with nothing. Until I see it. The air begins to shift and swirl forming a black mass in front of me. Long crooked fingers reach for me as I stumble back.
“I’m coming,” a voice fills my head. “I’m coming for you.”
“No, no,” I cry out. “Get out of my head. Get out of my—”
“Soon,” the voice cackles. “Soon it will be time.”
“No. No!” I bolt upright, a fine layer of sweat clinging to my body.
“Terra, Kitten, what is it?”
“Nightmare. I had a nightmare.” My voice is raw as I search the nightstand for a glass of water. I gulp it down, then suck ragged breaths into my lungs.