by H. J. Bellus
Tuck’s in a heated argument with the clerk at the desk, immediately answering my question whether it was a dream or not.
“He’s not allowed in here. I’ll be calling management.”
Tuck spots me, and I know a shit storm is about to ensue. If I thought I’d seen the man dark and upset before, then that was nothing. The veins running along his hairline are popped up, and his face is shades of deep red. He clutches my hand and drags me from the gym.
“We won’t be fucking back,” he hollers over his shoulder as he slams the glass door as hard as he can.
His fit of rage is doing nothing to calm me down or steady my legs. Tuck tugs on my hand one last time when he steps out into the parking lot and I fall to the pavement.
“Tuck,” I scream, but it’s too late as my skin is once again torn.
“Son of a bitch.”
He picks me up and carries me the rest of the way to the truck. With each step I feel the blood trickle down the front of my shins. When he sets me on the passenger side, I don’t attempt to slide to the middle, but stay put and go for my gym towel. I let it soak up the blood flowing from my kneecaps. When I hear his door shut, I don’t look up at him.
“I’m sorry, Blue, I’m just fucking livid and didn’t mean to make you trip.”
“You pulled me fucking down, Tuck.” My voice is shaky.
“I’m sorry.” His arm wraps around my shoulder as I feel his body come closer to me.
“Don’t touch me.” I press the towel deeper into my wounds and face him. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“Blue.” The hurt look on his face doesn’t even faze me as I completely fall off the cliff of sanity.
“That was him, Tuck. Fucking listen to me. That was the guy who attacked me. It was him. Are you fucking listening to me?”
“What?”
“Just fucking take me home.”
“Blue, you have to talk to me.”
“Oh, really?” I whip around to face him. “I need to talk to you. You, the man who just pulled me down on pavement and made me bleed again? I don’t think so.”
“Blue, are you serious right now?”
“Take me home.”
Tuck tosses his hands up in the air in surrender, and then the next sound is the squealing of his tires zipping out of the parking lot.
“Tuck, stop driving like a fucking lunatic.”
He doesn’t respond or let up on the gas pedal.
“I’m sorry.” My fist pounds into the dash. “I never had the courage to tell you the guy on the news wasn’t the attacker. I wanted it all to go away, but it hasn’t. It haunts me every fucking night and every second I’m not with you.”
“Are you sure it was the guy at the gym?”
I shrug because now I don’t feel sure about anything.
“Blue, fucking talk.”
“I don’t know.” My scream is deafening and dangerous. “I just know it’s not the guy you think it is, and…”
“And what, Blue?”
“Nothing.” I collapse into a ball in the front seat, giving in to all the fucking emotions from the day.
“Do you not trust me?”
“I do.” Tears roll down my knees seeping into the fresh cuts on my skin.
“I can’t help you if I don’t know.”
The fear that has been gripping at my heart for the last few months becomes overwhelming as I let it all out. My sobs are uncontrollable, making it impossible to speak one word.
“C’mon, baby.”
I float in the air, nestled in Tuck’s arms. The living room is noisy and full of bodies when we enter. I keep my head tucked down and avoid all eye contact.
“I’m just going to take a bath,” I say, as Tuck sets me down on the bed. He kneels before me, forcing me to look up at him.
“Blue, what are you not telling me? Did more happen that night? Do you know this man?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.” I drop my head again. “Can I just be alone tonight?”
“Blue.”
“I need to be alone.” My palm cups his face.
“I’ll start you a bath.”
He leaves without saying another word, and it hurts me even more when I thought I was at my lowest. I should go to Tuck and apologize, but I don’t have the energy to do it. By the time I make it to the bathroom, he’s gone, and I’m left with a hot tub of water. Sinking into it, I close my eyes and wish for everything and everyone to disappear, and I really do wonder if the inevitable blackness of death would even soothe this tortured soul of mine.
I let my body sink lower and lower under the water until I’m fully immersed.
Chapter 30
The morning sun is blinding as I roll over in the bed. It takes me a few moments to realize it’s empty, and that’s what wakes me up. I don’t remember much from last night or even how I made it to bed. Everything is a haze and not making sense, but the most unsettling is that Tuck isn’t by me.
Making my way down the hallway, I hear him and Noah out front talking, but have to stop at the bathroom first. Looks aren’t even on the agenda this morning; it’s the screaming bladder yelling at me. As soon as my knees bend, I feel the sting and crack of my fall in the parking lot yesterday. Two Band-Aids cover each of my kneecaps where the torn flesh lies. Resting my elbows on my thighs, I bury my face in my hands and cry for how I’ve fucked up this whole situation. I’m going to lose Tuck.
I pull up his boxers quickly, rolling over the top band so they stay in place, and rush down the hall.
Words fly out of my mouth before anything comes into view. “I’m sorry, Tuck, I’m so sorry.”
I don’t wait for his reaction before bounding smack dab in the middle of him on the couch.
“Please forgive me. I’m sorry.”
“Shhhh, it’s all right, baby.”
He pulls me into a tight hug, and I find that place that feels like home against his chest. Soon his hands are running through my hair as he offers up a constant string of reassurance.
When I realize Noah is in the room, I finally lift my head and offer him a weak smile, and then focus back on Tuck’s gorgeous face.
“Thank you for the Band-Aids, and I know it was an accident. You’d never hurt me, and I do trust you.” I settle myself on the couch facing both men. “I know with my whole heart the guy who was arrested and charged with the rapes and murders wasn’t my attacker. I’d recognize the eyes anywhere, and it’s not him.”
Noah stands and rubs his hands through his hair, with a pissed off look on his face. “And exactly when were you going to share this information with us?”
“Stop,” Tuck roars, and I jump. He wraps me tight to his side. “We went through all this yesterday. The point is Blue tried to block it out and it didn’t work. We think it was the asshole soccer player. He came to the gym yesterday.”
“I’m not sure if it’s him or not. I just don’t know.”
I keep the tears at bay. I refuse to break down at every fucking corner of this story.
“C’mon, I made breakfast. Let’s eat and enjoy this day. I’ll figure something out, Blue.” Tuck pulls me from the couch and drags me into the kitchen. He sure wasn’t lying about the spread on the table. It’s covered with all sorts of breakfast foods, from pastries, to eggs, and all sorts of meat.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“I can tell.” I slide out the dining room chair and take a seat. “Tuck, I really am sorry. I just don’t know how to act anymore.”
“It’s okay, Blue, we’ll get through this.” He ruffles the top of my hair, picks me up, and then sits with me in his lap. I pluck a strawberry from the table, making sure to lather it in the fruit dip he’s prepared, and plop it in his mouth.
“Is that a promise, Tuck?”
“I don’t do promises, I just do me.”
“I know.” This time I wipe some of the cream on the tip of his nose and giggle at his reaction.
“You little shit.”
&nbs
p; I squeal as he rubs it into my chest, and then relax back into him.
“I just want to run away with you, Tuck, and start over.”
“I know, Blue, I know.”
***
A week passes with no more threats or sightings of any dangerous eyes. It’s taken seven long days to finally not jump out of my skin at every corner. Tuck’s tried his damnedest to stick right next to me, but with our hectic schedules, it’s never easy. I finally gave in and talked to Trainer Jay and Steve about all my issues. To say Jay was pissed would be the understatement of the century, but thank goodness I have Steve, who has reassured me over and over. He checked the campus surveillance and found nothing. He’s about the only peace of mind I have.
Tuck’s been on a manhunt for the soccer player, but nothing has surfaced. He knows any mention of it puts me straight over the edge, so he keeps it all in hushed tones with Noah. And I can handle that.
“Blue, what are you wearing tonight?” My gaze goes from the cracked tile on the floor up to a damn near naked Sophie.
The football team is having a little get-together at Noah and Tuck’s place. Actually, it will more than likely turn into a rager, but their parties always start out small. I overheard Tuck and Noah talking last night about needing a distraction.
“This.” I gesture with my hands.
“Seriously, Blue.”
“It’s not like I’m trying to land a guy or anything.”
“No, but you could at least dress up for Tuck once in a while and get out of those damn gym clothes.”
“He likes gym clothes.”
“He’d probably like a little sexy dress too. Just saying.”
“I’m not a whore like you.”
Sophie cringes and sends me an offensive glare, but then softens.
“Point taken.”
“Some things never change, Sophie. Let’s get moving. Wear this.” I toss a lacy dress her way, then make my way to the mirror to fix my hair up a bit and slap on some of Sophie’s make-up since pretty much all my stuff is at Tuck’s.
It was a damn battle letting me come here with Sophie. I’m pretty sure he stalked us all the way until we walked into the front doors. I thought it was quite odd when Steve waved to someone behind me, and then I only caught a glimpse of a black hoodie walking away.
“Okay, I’m ready.”
I turn to look at Sophie with her amazing thighs showing, the crest of her ass peeking out of the bottom of her dress, and her tits on high alert.
“Yes, you are, slut biscuit.”
Walking through the halls of the dorm sends chills through me. I know my attacker has been here lurking these halls, waiting for the perfect time to slip notes under my door. As I push the elevator button, I recoil before I touch it.
“Blue.” Sophie stares down at me and I freeze. “What’s going on?”
His finger has touched this very button. The finger attached to his hand that he beat me with before trying to rape me. My stomach lurches and I feel the bile begin to rise.
“Blue.”
Sophie’s voice is louder this time, and the elevator doors slowly glide open. Two men waltz by, and one of them brushes against my shoulder, snapping me back to reality. Mentally I scold myself for being so damn paranoid.
“I’m fine. Just thought I forgot something.”
“Well, if I’m a slut biscuit, you, my friend, are sure as hell a shitty liar. Let’s go.”
My stomach drops once again as the elevator descends, whirling and spinning all my emotions together in one massive lump of confusion. I listen to Sophie ramble on the short walk over to Tuck’s. I don’t even try to add to her conversation and block most of it since the size and power of Lane’s cock holds none of my interest.
Several vehicles already swarm Tuck’s small house, but I don’t see his truck, so I grab my phone.
Me: Where are you, lover?
Tuck: Running a few behind. Had to talk with coach.
Me: Everything okay?
Tuck: Couldn’t be better.
Me: Okay, walking in.
The small gathering is more a frat party on steroids with bodies everywhere. Tuck is going to shit when he see all the people. I spot Noah standing in the kitchen with a herd of girls swarming him. He could have his pick out of the whole freaking university, but I’ve never seen him with anyone.
“I need a drink,” I mouth to him over the heads of the girls.
He pushes up off the counter and stretches out his full glass to me. I take it and begin drinking it without a second thought. What I wouldn’t give for just a quiet night at home with Tuck. Well, it wouldn’t be quiet, but we’d be at home together, naked in bed, sweaty, and satisfied. That’s it, I talked myself into it, and I’m jumping the man as soon as he walks in that front door.
I find a place on the edge of the couch near some of Tuck’s teammates and sit watching the people moving about the house. Soon the living room is full, the front door is left open, and people start spilling outside. The fresh, cool breeze is welcoming, whirling around in the living room. Noah passed by once and handed me a new beverage. I’d expected Tuck way before this, and have checked my phone several times.
The crowd hasn’t dwindled at all and has only become more rambunctious and out of control. My skin would be crawling by now if Noah hadn’t been watching me like a hawk across the living room. His eyes haven’t left me all night long.
Finally, Tuck’s bulky frame fills the doorway and I practically leap from the arm of the couch into his arms. He’s always good at catching me, and never even stumbles.
“About time.” My lips brush his.
“Sorry, Blue.”
I don’t hesitate to attack his lips, planting a deep and sexy kiss. He walks backward until the backs of my legs meet the arm of the couch again. I growl at him as I break off the kiss, and he only chuckles at my clear disappointment.
“Here, this was in the mailbox for you.”
He hands me a large manila envelope and turns to greet some friends, with his hand cupping my shoulder.
Rather odd to be getting mail at Tuck’s, but maybe my mom realized I’d get it quicker here than the dorms. There’s no return address, and I can only guess this is one of her surprises.
Peeking in the envelope, I see it’s stuffed with papers. A hard shove knocks me from the back, and the contents spill from the envelope. It’s us. Tuck and me, scattered all over the floor. Full color pictures of us on the beach that day, and one paper with bold letters: “How dare you fuck around on me?”
It’s as if the papers on the floor are magnets for everyone’s attention. My exposed body mingled with Tuck’s lives for everyone’s view. His burnt flesh, the billboard of the scene. I scramble from the arm of the couch to gather them and hear several hushed noises and gasps as everyone realizes who it is.
I look back at Tuck, who has gone white and devoid of any expression, and then scramble back to the papers on the floor.
“Get out,” Tuck orders, but I don’t quit picking up the papers and stuffing them back in the envelope.
This time his voice is louder, sending a vibrating echo through the living room. “I said get the fuck out, Blue.”
My gaze rips back in his direction as I try to comprehend his words, and right when I do, he lurches for me, but Noah stops him and pins him to the wall.
“Get her out of my fucking house now.”
I remain frozen on the floor, clutching the poisonous paper to my chest.
“You made me love you and promised not to hurt me.” His voice is laced with more than anger. “Get out now.”
The last three words have the power to shatter every single window in the house. But yet I don’t understand one of them.
“Tuck.” Tears run down my cheeks as I try to stand. “This isn’t me. I didn’t do this.”
“You exposed me. Pushed me. Hope you’re happy now.”
Someone tugs on my arm.
“Tuck, no,” is all I can get out befor
e I’m dragged out of the living room by one of his linemen. Even the party outside has hushed from the scene that just played out inside. With one hard jerk, I break from the giant’s grip.
A mixture of hatred and hurt rushes through me, transforming me into something unrecognizable, and before I even think about my next actions, I sprint back into the house screaming.
“Fuck you, Tuck Jones. Fuck you.” I send the envelope of papers flying into the living room, and this time Noah comes for me. “I fucking love you and think you’re beautiful. I’m not sorry for loving you. I didn’t do this.”
Tuck doesn’t flinch from his stance and is now being held back by two of his teammates. Noah tugs on my arm, trying to pull me from the house, and with all my strength I pull from his hold.
“You were right about one thing, Tuck. You truly are a beast.”
I don’t give Noah the chance to so kindly escort me from the house. I turn and walk off on my own, and when my tears don’t keep coming, but that odd mixture of hatred and hurt continues to course through my body, I know I’m in trouble.
Chapter 31
The dark dorm room envelops me. If there was a threat or letter slid under the door, I didn’t notice as not one light was flipped on before I crawled into bed. It’s been hours since the worst moment of my life played out before my very own eyes, and not one call or text from Tuck, Sophie, or any of my so-called friends.
My mind refuses to turn off as it churns the events over and over again and dissects Tuck’s actions. It’s enough to make me puke and crawl out of my skin. Game over, assholes. I tear away the blankets cocooning me and lace up my tennis shoes, not concerned with the rest of my attire. I don’t flinch as I walk down the hallway and slam the elevator button.
“Blue.”
I turn to see Steve standing behind his station. “Steve.”
“Everything okay?”