by Joy Elbel
“Well, I left him in the living room while I dug around in my closet for the picture but when I turned back around, there he was lying in my bed.” I left my seatbelt buckled in case his anger was enough to shake the car into gear.
“HE WAS WHERE?” The car didn’t move but I could swear I saw the windshield shake ever so slightly. “You heard me!” I shouted back at him. “He looked at everything in my room and guessed what we were going to do in there. So I told him to get off of my bed and I left the room.”
The vein in his neck that always throbbed when his anger was full throttle now had a partner in crime. I could see another spot on his temple pulsing with the same dangerous rhythm.
Zach rested his head against the steering wheel and counted to ten in hushed tones. Calmly, he asked, “What did you tell him about us?”
Looks like somebody’s anger management classes worked. Now that he was calmer, I lowered my voice, too. “I didn’t tell him anything. He guessed but I didn’t confirm. So he followed me out to the living room and I showed him the photo of Lee. He told me his birthday and it was the same as Lee’s. Then he asked what I knew about Lee’s family so I told him Lee was adopted. He told me he would see me in school and then he practically ran out of the house.”
“So that was it? That’s everything then?” Zach’s eyes were back to their normal icy blue shade but they still looked strange. He looked frightened and I knew exactly why. He was afraid of losing me.
I figured that telling him about Lucas’s comment about the chocolate and my subsequent dream were more than he needed to know. I didn’t actually want to sleep with Lucas but that was exactly what Zach would think. For Zach’s sake, I didn’t want Lucas to end up like Ryan so I omitted that part and nodded my head. “That’s everything.”
“Okay, so now what are you going to do?” I didn’t think that far in advance. What was I going to do? “I guess I just need to back off until he’s ready to talk about it.”
“And?” Zach eyed me in anticipation of the correct response. Luckily, I realized what he was looking for.
“And then I will come and get you before I talk to him.” Zach gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for telling me the truth, Ruby. I’m trying really hard not to be a jealous jerk here, but I refuse to stop worrying about you. Even if I’d met him before meeting you, I still wouldn’t trust this guy. I don’t know what it is but there’s just something about him that I don’t like.”
I was pretty sure that he was mistaken. The only reason he didn’t trust Lucas was because of jealousy and fear. But since I knew that I would react the same way if the situation were reversed, I didn’t challenge his reasoning. Some battles aren’t worth fighting and this was definitely one of them.
“I trust your instincts, Zach. They haven’t failed me yet.” I tossed it around in my brain for a second and then added, “Actually, they’ve saved my life twice.”
Zach gave me a smile as we got out of the car so I knew we were back to good. “I just don’t want to see that number go to three, okay? You’re seriously pushing the limits of my luck. Loving you is a dangerous job, you know?”
Sliding my arm around his waist, I gave him an extra squeeze. “Not is, was. Loving me was a dangerous job but that part’s over now. And I don’t think it was luck—you’re my hero, my man of steel.”
“I’m no hero. I’m just a guy who’s hopelessly in love. And don’t forget, sweetie—even Superman has his weaknesses.” Zach guided me away from an icy spot on the sidewalk and opened the door for me.
“Maybe. But from where I’m standing, you’re always there when I need you the most. That’s what being a hero is all about.”
There was a look of pride on his face as he responded, “If that’s your definition, then I am a hero—your hero.” We shared a quick kiss and headed to our lockers.
The atmosphere in the school felt so different when I walked in. The air always felt slightly heavy in there to me but I never realized that it was all connected to Garnet. Now that she was gone, the building felt lighter and less oppressive. It felt good. Well, as good as high school could feel, anyway.
Rachel, on the other hand, would probably disagree with me. The first thing I noticed when I walked into homeroom was how thoroughly miserable she looked. She looked like I normally looked. She was always there for me when I needed some cheering up, so I knew it was time to return the favor.
I declined a trip to the library with Zach, telling him I wanted to spend some time with his sister instead. “Good because I think she could use it. She’s been shutting herself off from everyone but Boone,” Zach whispered to me so she couldn’t overhear us. “We’ve always been so close but she barely wants to talk to me anymore. Maybe you can break through to her.”
“I’ll certainly try,” I whispered back. “She’s done a lot for me. I hope she lets me do the same for her. After Zach left for the library, I slid into his seat and tapped her on the shoulder. “Rachel? Can we talk for a minute?”
She swiveled around slowly in her seat with all of the enthusiasm of an extra in a zombie movie. “Yeah?”
“Have you heard anything more about Crimson?”
“Nothing,” she said sadly. “Still no sign of her but the cops are breathing down Drake’s neck. I just feel so helpless.” No one knew helpless better than I did but I had an idea that I thought might help. “So let’s get out there and do something to find her.”
She shook her head with an air of defeat. “Like what? If the cops can’t find her, what kind of chance do we have?” “We could make up some flyers and hang them around town. You know, get her face out there in the hopes that someone somewhere will have some information. There could be someone out there right now who doesn’t even know she’s missing—someone who may hold a clue.”
A spark of the old Rachel flashed in her eyes. “Do you really think that it could help, that’s it’s not just a waste of time?”
I piqued her interest, now all I needed to do was reel her in. “Nothing you do to help someone else could ever be a waste of time. C’mon, we can do it after right school—what do you say?”
“I’m in—let’s do it!” For the first time in weeks, she actually seemed like her endlessly perky self. “I have a really good picture I took of her before the party. If I know Crimson, she would be really pissed at me if I hung up a bad photo of her!”
I was really proud of myself for finding a way to get her out of her funk for at least one day and I knew it would make Zach happy, too. Sometimes in the midst of my own drama, I forgot that he’d been through almost as much as I had. I was going to take any opportunity I could find to do something nice for him.
Morning classes went well and I all but forgot about my dilemma with Lucas. So once I had my lunch, I sat down alone at my usual table and cracked open the mystery novel I borrowed from Shelly. I didn’t even get through the first page when I suddenly realized that I wasn’t alone anymore. No one ever sat with me at lunch unless you counted the times Garnet sat there and stared at me. There was only one person it could be. Lucas.
“You weren’t saving this seat for your boyfriend, were you?” Lucas asked as he went ahead and sat down anyway.
“No,” I answered flatly. “I eat alone.”
“You used to eat alone,” he replied, stuffing an entire taco into his mouth. I closed my book and stared at the table. I wanted to say something to him but I didn’t know what. What do you say to someone after you’ve told them their whole life has been a lie? How do you act like nothing’s wrong after you’ve detonated that kind of explosion? We stayed silent until after our food was gone and then Lucas made the first move.
“I’m sorry if I was rude to you last night—running out on you and all.”
“It’s okay. I understand why you did it.” I lifted my eyes from the table to finally look at him. He looked sincere. There was no trace of the cocky attitude from the night before. “I’ve had some time to think about it and I’ve made a decision.
I want to know all about my brother but I need your help with that. Will you help me?”
He placed his hand gently on mine. When I looked into his eyes, I didn’t see Lucas—I saw Lee. It was the same way Lee used to look at me when he talked about the family he didn’t know. They were sad eyes, eyes that exposed a gaping hole in his soul. A hole only I could fix. I was never able to fill in the blanks for Lee, but for Lucas, I could. Morally, I felt that it was my obligation to help him. It just wouldn’t be right for me not to. He wasn’t the enemy Zach tried to make him seem. He was lost but I could help him find himself. In turn, helping him would help me, too. In the end, I could put my past to rest and move on with my life.
A round of wild laughter from the next table broke the spell he had over me. Now full of guilt, I yanked my hand away from his. “I’ll help you but I have a boyfriend—don’t forget that.”
“What makes you so sure that I’m the one who forgot?” He wouldn’t take his eyes off of me so I looked away instead. Did he know that I saw Lee when I looked at him? Did he know that it stirred up unresolved feelings in me, feelings I was afraid to feel? The sooner we found his biological family, the better.
Ignoring his last comment, I got back to the reason I was hanging out with him in the first place. “What do you want to know about him?”
Lucas slumped back in his chair. “I want to know everything. What he was like, how you met…how he died.”
“Well, we met when—” “No—not here, not now!” he said forcefully, yet in hushed tones. “I don’t want to talk about my dead brother in a roomful of strangers. It’s my first day in a new school—I’m traumatized enough already!”
Now that, that I could sympathize with. “Understandable. When do you want to do this?”
“What about tonight—at your house, maybe?” “Okay, but it will have to be later—I have plans right after school and so does Zach. What about seven? We should both be free by then.”
“No go.” he said shaking his head vehemently. “Not with him there—it’s you and me alone or it’s nothing!” “But Lucas, he already knows everything about Lee! Zach and I are close—we don’t keep secrets from each other. I’ll just tell him everything we talk about later anyway so why does it matter if he’s there with us?”
“He doesn’t like me. He’s already made that pretty clear.” Lucas pushed his lunch tray to the side and leaned over the table toward me. “Not that I can blame him. If you were mine, I wouldn’t want you hanging out with another guy either. Especially when that guy reminds you of someone you were in love with. You’re beautiful. I would be afraid of losing you, too.”
Either those tacos were bad or my stomach was filling up with butterflies because he called me beautiful. Just to be on the safe side, I would assume it was the tacos.
“Fine,” I consented, doing my best not to show how his words may or may not have affected me. “You can come over to my house at seven. But don’t expect to find yourself in my bed again. Not tonight—not ever.”
The cocky smile returned when he got what he wanted. “I’ll see you at seven then.” He grabbed his tray and got up from the table. “And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s to never say never.”
Before I could answer him, he was gone. And I was left with the task of figuring out a way to break the news to Zach.
5. …Or That!
I dreaded the arrival of math class for the rest of the day because it was the only opportunity I would have to tell Zach about my plans with Lucas. Throughout the afternoon, I rehearsed in my mind exactly how I would break the news to him. The only problem with that was the fact that conversations always went smoother in my head than they did in reality.
I ran down the hall full speed so I could have as much time to talk to him before class started as possible. Zach was just walking in the door when I caught up to him.
“There you are!” I said putting my arm around his shoulders and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey, sweetie! You seem happy to see me—I like that!” Zach returned the kiss and followed me to our seats.
“Yes…but…. You may change your mind when you hear what I have to tell you.”
I watched as the smile faded from his lips. “Let me guess—you talked to Lucas.”
“I did,” I answered him. “He sat with me at lunch.”
“That figures,” Zach replied bitterly. “So what did he have to say?” Here came the tough part. “He said he wanted to know everything about Lee so I invited him over tonight. He’ll be at Rosewood at seven.”
“Okay, that gives me enough time to get a shower and eat dinner first before I head over. I don’t have any homework so far and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Mrs. West takes it easy on us, too.”
So I had it all wrong— this was the tough part. “Well, Zach, the only way he would agree to talk to me was if we were alone.”
“Of course he did, Ruby! He’s after more than just the truth here!” Zach pleaded with me, “Open your eyes! Can’t you see what he’s up to?”
I wanted to disagree with him, to protest that Lucas was merely looking for information just like I was. But I couldn’t. Why? Because I wasn’t completely convinced that Zach was wrong.
My only hope was to dodge the issue. “Look—I tried but he said he wouldn’t talk about it if you were there. If I’m ever going to put this behind me, I have to talk to him on his terms. Dad and Shelly will be there and I promise you he won’t make it past the first floor. As soon as he leaves, I’ll call you with all of the details.”
Zach’s expression was unreadable. I’d never seen that look on his face before. “Fine. Just don’t forget to call me this time.”
Mrs. West walked into the room and called the class to order effectively ending our conversation. I squirmed in my seat the entire period, never quite finding a comfortable position. Zach was unhappy and I didn’t like it. There had to be some way for me to balance our relationship with my friendship with Lucas.
It was a good thing I made plans with Rachel for right after school. In between discussing Crimson’s disappearance and Drake’s precarious situation, I would have a chance to tell her about Lucas and get her expert opinion. Rachel was a lot better at dealing with boys than I was and she knew her brother very well. She would know what I needed to do in this awkward situation.
As soon as I said my goodbyes to Zach, I ran to meet Rachel at her car. Unfortunately, my boots were more fashionable than functional and my foot slid out from under me when I hit a spot of ice. I started to fall backwards and mentally, I braced for the impact. I put the “ass” in asphalt with such force that it took my breath away. Rachel ran to help me but someone else got to me first.
“I do want you to fall for me but this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Lucas said as he offered a hand to help me up.
“Thanks,” I countered sarcastically, “but I can get up all by myself.” I placed my hand on the ice for support and tried to stand back up but the heels of my shoes had something else in mind. Once more, I slipped back down onto the ground at his feet.
Lucas still stood there looking down at me with his hand outstretched. “When you’re done hurting yourself, I’d be happy to help you up.”
Just as I was about to swallow my pride and reach out to him, Rachel appeared at my side. “Here, Ruby, take my hand.”
Gladly. Rachel helped me back up and I snatched my bag from the ground where it fell. “How do I look? I didn’t get the back of my jeans dirty, did I?” I was very conscious of the fact that Lucas was still lingering a few steps away. Maybe a little too conscious.
Rachel turned me around to survey the damage and I came face to face with Lucas. “No, your backside looks fine, Ruby.” I was about to tell her thanks when Lucas spoke up.
“I could have told you that without even looking,” he said with a flirty wink. “But I definitely looked anyway.” He flipped his hair out of his eyes and walked away.
Once he wa
s gone, Rachel nearly pounced on me. “Ruby! Wasn’t that…I mean, he looked just like….” Rachel struggled for the perfect words but came up short.
“I know exactly who he looks like,” I said as we walked to her car. “I’ll explain the whole thing later. Right now, I just want to get out of here. Crimson first, boy troubles second.”
Rachel agreed and we drove to the Mason house with barely a word spoken between us. Once she found the perfect picture of Crimson, she quickly wrote up a brief description of her, grabbed a jarful of change from her desk, and we were on our way.
“Her real name is Charisma Cox?” I asked, reading the flyer as we headed downtown to the post office. “Now I see why she changed her name.”
“I know, right? She always said that giving a child a name like Charisma was the cruelest form of child abuse—not to mention the kind of trauma the last name Cox brings with it. And she hated her mother just as much as her name—she became an emancipated minor at sixteen.”
Wow. As bad as my life seemed at times, at least I wasn’t alone. I couldn’t tell if Rachel wanted to talk about Crimson or not so I changed the subject to be on the safe side. It was time to tell her what was going on.
“So about that boy from earlier—his name is Lucas
and he’s Lee’s twin brother,” I began. “What? Shut the front door! You’re kidding me, right?” Rachel looked at me with complete disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me Lee had a twin?”
“I didn’t know until yesterday—Lee was adopted, remember? He never knew his real family.”
“Hol-ee hell! Does Zach know about him yet?” I launched into the account of how we met Lucas and how I thought he was just another ghost until I realized that Zach could see him, too. I was just about to explain that seeing him made me faint when Rachel stopped me.
“Wait a second—what do you mean by another ghost? And how does Zach seeing him too make any difference in the matter?”