by Joy Elbel
So he had sent it after all! Like any good play, just as the scene was about to end, the plot took an unpredictable twist. Bravo, Lucas, bravo! Now, that’s a wrap!
22. Destiny Distorted
When Rachel said we needed to talk, I assumed she would follow me home. Rosewood was where we always went when we needed to be alone for some girl talk. So when she told me to follow her, I did. Straight to the Mason house. Straight to Zach.
The last thing I needed was for his entire family to know what was going on. Garrett and Diane knew nothing about my paranormal abilities and hopefully less than nothing about my situation with Lucas. At least at the mansion it was possible to put enough walls between us and my parents—at her house, not so much.
“Shouldn’t we have gone to my house instead?” I whispered as I walked in the door. “You don’t have to whisper, Ruby. Mom and Dad aren’t home. Or are you afraid Zach will hear something you don’t want him to?” she said coldly.
“No,” I spoke up loudly. “Zach is free to join us.” Like I could stop him even if I wanted to. Hell, he’d probably heard every word we’d said already.
“Good. ZACH!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. She could have saved herself some breath because at the sound of his name he instantly appeared around the corner. “Ruby? Rachel? What’s wrong?”
Zach was wearing blue fleece pajama pants and a matching hoodie. He looked so adorable, so innocent. His eyes always gave a little extra sparkle when he wore that color. If I looked even half that good in any color, I would never wear anything else.
Rachel stormed across the living room to where he stood and dragged him to the couch. “Sit!” she commanded him like a dog and he instantly obeyed.
“You,” she said grabbing me by the wrist, “Sit down right there beside him like the happy freakin’ couple you’re supposed to be.”
Yes, mother. I sat down next to Zach who was staring at his sister with an adorably confused look on his face.
“Now, Ruby, I want to know exactly what you meant when you said Zach was keeping secrets from you.” Zach whipped his head around until we were eye to eye. He looked shocked and hurt—but mostly hurt. “Yeah, me too!”
So I explained the twisted tale of the scarf—of how I thought Zach lied about it until Lucas commented on it as we left the theater. I felt like such a fool. I’d stood there defending Lucas when he had been the one who’d sent it all along. “I hate the stupid thing!” I shouted.
“So why are you still wearing it then?” Zach questioned. Oh, right. There it was—wound lovingly around my neck for him to see. I suppose it would be a slap in the face to him. If Misty ever gave Zach a gift and I caught him wearing it, I’d flip the hell out. It was soft and beautiful and warm, though. I didn’t want to take it off—ever. But for Zach’s sake, I took it off and shoved it into my bag.
“Look—I honestly thought it was from you, Zach. It was all just a big misunderstanding—are we free to go now, warden?” I asked Rachel, sarcastically.
“No, you’re not. You guys just haven’t been the same since Lucas came to town. It’s time to fix that. Mom and Dad went to Grandma Mason’s to start packing up her things so they can sell the house—they won’t be home for hours. I’m going over to Boone’s and you two are gonna kiss and make up.” She looked directly at Zach. “And you don’t always have to be such a perfect gentleman, little brother.” Rachel grabbed her bag and her keys and marched out the door.
Subtle, Rachel, very subtle. She was basically handing us a carte blanche to do anything we wanted. But did I want to? There was a time when I would have killed for an opportunity like this. Now…I really wasn’t sure. I didn’t even know where to start. We just weren’t as close as we were a few months ago.
We sat there awkwardly for a moment. Zach was clearly embarrassed by what Rachel had said and, honestly, so was I. She wasn’t my pimp, for cryin’ out loud! So when he broke the silence by offering me some hot chocolate, I accepted a little too enthusiastically.
“Yes!” I practically shouted the word right in his face. Geez, why was I so nervous? I knew Zach well enough to know that he wouldn’t actually try to do what Rachel suggested he should. He just wasn’t that kind of guy.
Or was he? He brought back a mug for each of us and sat down beside me. “Look, Ruby, Rachel’s right.” She was? Never in a million years would I have expected to hear him say that! I crossed my legs selfconsciously and then he realized what he’d said.
“No, no—not about that!” His face flushed with embarrassment as he floundered to explain himself. “She was right about us needing time alone together. We haven’t had much of that lately.”
Oh ! Now that was more like the Zach I knew and loved. “No, we haven’t. We have a few hours—do you want to watch a movie?”
He shook his head no. “I really just want to talk. Tell me about your night. You guys are home awfully early so I figure something must have happened.”
Zach dimmed the lights, I settled back in his arms and we talked. First about the earthquake that only seemed to affect the theater and then about the doubt I had concerning Drake’s innocence. Then we moved to happier topics. We discussed college and the apartment we planned to get together. And how we were going to slip a one bedroom studio past my dad’s watchful eye.
Hot chocolate always made me sleepy so as Zach talked about his day at the shelter, I fought to keep my eyelids open. I was so comfortable there with him that, eventually, I lost that battle. That’s when the true war began.
It was a hot summer day, the sun shining brightly high in the sky. The radio in the car was blasting—the concert was starting in less than an hour. We were only a few miles outside of Harrisburg when the front wheels of the car rolled onto the bridge. Destiny Bridge.
The action played out in slow motion, every terrifying second of the bridge collapse stretched out for an eternity. Only it was different. The couple in the car in front of us was Rachel and Boone, the child in the backseat wasn’t exactly a child. It was Zach. But it wasn’t just the people who were different—I was different, too. Because this time, I knew exactly what was going to happen long before it actually did.
The boy beside me in the car was Lucas this time. He looked like Lee, he spoke Lee’s words, but he wasn’t Lee. The CD played at half speed, slow and mournful like a warped record. As Zach watched, Lucas sunk his tongue into my mouth and kissed me. I wanted to fight him off but I couldn’t. Things had to take the same course they did the first time around.
And as the bridge fell defeated into the Susquehanna River, I had to watch helplessly as the car in front of us sunk into oblivion carrying Zach with it. Lucas promised that we would always be together and everything faded to white.
“Ruby! Wake up!” Strong arms shook and embraced me both at the same time. My ears rang with the echo of a scream—my scream. I was shaking all over and tears were streaming down my face. The dream felt so real because, actually, it was. Every word Lucas and I read were scripted—taken from the actual conversation Lee and I had in the car that day. Would that accident never stop haunting me?
“It’s okay—you’re safe,” Zach repeated over and over, holding me tightly as I wept. But there was something off about him. Something just wasn’t right.
When my tears finally dried, I described the dream for him in detail including the kiss I shared with Lucas. He put on a brave face for my benefit but it was obvious—painfully obvious—that he was jealous of that kiss even though it was just in a dream. Maybe jealous wasn’t the right word for it. Threatened. Yes, he was definitely threatened by it.
“I didn’t even want to kiss him, Zach! It was just something that had to happen. It was like the nightmare couldn’t end without it,” I pleaded. Was I really defending my motives for kissing Lucas in the middle of a freakin’ nightmare—something I had no control of whatsoever?
“Don’t explain, Ruby. I understand,” Zach replied sadly. “I don’t like it but I understand it.” Why did
such sweet hot chocolate inspired sleep have to turn so bitter? The mood was ruined and there was no way to get it back now. What I really needed to do was go home and think things through. Alone.
“It’s getting kinda late, Zach, and evidently I need to get some sleep,” I said as I grabbed my boots and hurriedly yanked them on. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
As soon as I spoke the words, he took his arms from around my waist and quickly shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “Yeah, I hope you don’t have any more nightmares.”
Without hesitation, I announced, “I’m pretty sure it’s over.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed for home. A half hour later, I was curled up in bed with Coco, lights off but not even trying to fall asleep. The nightmare about the bridge collapse wasn’t the only thing on my mind. It wasn’t until I lay down that I noticed the similarities between what happened at the theater and a dream I’d had weeks ago.
In that dream, I had a choice to make. I could either walk straight into chaos to be with Zach or I could take the easy way out and be with Lucas. In my nightmare, I never had a chance to choose—the theater literally swallowed me up before I could. But the real life episode at the theater ended differently. Not only did I choose, I chose Lucas.
Sure, it wasn’t exactly the same. Zach wasn’t actually there offering to help me to safety. But he was the reason I almost walked straight into the path of that plummeting mask. If it hadn’t been for Lucas….
But in my dream about the bridge, things were almost the opposite. I didn’t want to kiss Lucas but I felt like I had to. My heart was telling me not to but my body wouldn’t obey. That kiss was unavoidable. Was it possible to love one person but to be destined to be with another? If it was, it would explain everything. Well, sort of.
If Lucas really was the one I was meant to be with, would fate be cruel enough to allow me to love Zach eternally from afar? The mere thought was depressing enough as it was—I couldn’t imagine actually living my life that way. I was nothing more than a puppet, dancing to and fro as destiny plucked maliciously at my strings. There was only one solution—I had to find a way to sever the cords connecting me to one of them. Somehow, I had to cut Lucas out of my life.
23. Love Like Winter
Did Ruby know how beautiful she was while she slept? Probably not—she didn’t even know the true depth of her beauty while she was awake. But I did. The instant she crossed into the land of dreams, I knew it. I was busy rattling on about my day at work when she released a deep sigh and I felt every muscle in her body relax. Was I offended that my story bored her to sleep? Hell no. I was just happy that she felt safe enough in my arms to just let all of her worries fade away.
Mom always kept a blanket on the back of the couch. I never understood why—was it just a mom thing to do? No one ever used it but she insisted that it be there. Now, I was glad that she did. I pulled it down around Ruby and tucked her in as best as I could without waking her. As she snuggled up next to me, I felt better about us than I had since the day Lucas walked into our lives.
Gently, I brushed her hair out of her face and she began to smile. She didn’t smile a lot lately. I knew she was under a lot of stress and sometimes I was the source of it. Okay, a lot of the time. She was torn between Lucas and me and she didn’t know which way to turn. No, that was wrong. It wasn’t Lucas that had her doubting our relationship—it was Lee. Lucas was just the one taking advantage of that fact.
I understood why it was a difficult situation for her— really I did. But it was just so freakin’ frustrating to watch him weave a spot for himself in her life. A spot that he didn’t earn, his dead brother did. She was too innocent, too trusting. Lee may have been an okay guy but that didn’t automatically make Lucas one, too. The worst part was that it seemed the more I tried to make her see that, the more she pulled away from me. The tighter I held onto her, the more she struggled. But if I let go, I was afraid she would drift away for good.
So I had to take the moments like this one and make them last as long as I could. She had me pinned against the couch in such a way that I was going numb from the ass down but I wouldn’t dare move for fear that I would wake her. Not exactly the wild night Rachel encouraged us to have but it was just perfect for me. As long as we were alone and not arguing over Lucas, it was a good night.
Valentine’s Day was less than a month away and I still had to figure out the perfect way to celebrate it with her. She said she’d never had a good Valentine’s Day with Lee so the pressure was on for me to make it something for her to remember. What could I do for her that I hadn’t already done? I would’ve asked Rachel for ideas but I already knew what she would say.
Tonight wasn’t the first night she encouraged me to seal the deal with Ruby, so to speak. The night we watched movies together at Rosewood, Rachel had the audacity to suggest that I should turn it into a XXX feature. With Ruby’s dad downstairs? Hell no! If he walked in on us, it wouldn’t have just been my first time—it would have been my last.
No, I had to make Valentine’s Day romantic for her. And I had no idea of how to do that. I used to think I knew her so well but lately, it was the exact opposite. She was like a stranger to me some days and I just didn’t know how to make her happy anymore. Valentine’s Day had to be perfect and not an epic failure like the night I tried to take her ice skating. The only problem was that I would have to do it on a tight budget. I still had to get that spare tire and paying Ryan’s medical bills was draining me fast. Money was something Lucas clearly didn’t have to worry about. How could she possibly have thought I sent her that scarf? It was definitely expensive—I only wished I had that kind of money to spend on her.
I was just getting used to not being able to feel anything below the waist when Ruby started to twist and turn restlessly in her sleep. Seizing my opportunity to adjust my position, she suddenly tightened her hold on me and I thought I’d woken her up. Then she started to speak and I knew she was still in the grip of a dream.
“Okay, Lucas—but nothing more than kissing. We have an audience.” Lucas. She was lying in my arms and dreaming about kissing Lucas. Yeah, it was just a dream but there was something about the way she said his name that caused me to die inside just a little. She used to say my name like that—all cute and flirty and playful. The happy little moan that followed shot into my heart like a round from a .45. When I said I would take a bullet for her, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. She wasn’t just kissing him in that dream—she was enjoying it!
I wanted to wake her but I didn’t. She was so tired and stressed—it would have been cruelly selfish of me to do that. It was in that moment that I knew I would let her go without a fight if it was what she wanted. If she chose him over me, I’d never be the same again but at least I would know I’d done the right thing. And the right thing was to not stand in the way of her happiness, no matter how much it hurt.
When her gentle tossing gave way to spasms and her moans turned to screams, I had no other choice but to wake her. Would she tell me what she was dreaming about? More importantly, did I actually want to hear the gory details? Loving her was dangerous in every sense of the word.
I held her tight and tried to gently waken her. When that didn’t work, I shook her briskly until her eyes opened but the screaming didn’t stop. Was Lucas that bad of a kisser? Let’s hope so.
When she confessed the details of her dream to me, I was torn. It was probably a good sign that she told me the truth. That meant she had nothing to hide, right? Still, hearing my girlfriend describe kissing someone else wasn’t exactly pleasant—even if it was just in a dream.
I had to take it all in stride, though—I couldn’t risk pushing her even further away. So I held her while she cried, powerless to absorb her pain and practically drowning in my own. Maybe I could salvage what was left of our time together, do something nice to let her know I was there for her no matter what. A backrub—everyone enjoyed those, right? When I was just about to suggest it
she jumped up and started putting her boots on.
I shoved my hands into my pocket and let her walk out the door. She didn’t even give me a real goodnight kiss, just a peck on the cheek. It was like she didn’t want to say goodbye the right way. The final blow was her parting words.
“I’m pretty sure it’s over.” She wasn’t just talking about the dream, was she? The heaven I’d found with her was slowly shifting into a fiery hell. Was there life after Ruby? Broken hearts still beat just not with the kind of passion I’d found when I met her. She was irreplaceable.
Our love was like the very season itself. Beautiful yet dangerous. Cold at times but well worth the chill when the thaw finally arrived. Winter always led to spring and a renewal of all that was lost to the snow and ice. Would it work the same way for us? Even if it didn’t, I would never forget Ruby Matthews or the way she made me feel. Her memory would stay with me forever.
24. The Dirty Hands of Fate
I walked into school on Monday with my chin up, determined to do just one thing—put some distance between me and Lucas. But you can’t fight fate, apparently. When I tried to avoid him, he seemed to be everywhere. I took the long way to class and he was around the first corner. I went to the library during study hall to work on my English paper that was due Friday and there he was doing some research of his own. At lunch, I begged Mr. Raspatello for permission to use one of the open computer labs so I could work on the final draft of that paper and somehow Lucas ended up there, too. Apparently, I couldn’t fight fate.
Rachel had good news for me that she refused to share at school. Finally. Something good to take my mind off of all the negative thoughts I’d been having. She was going to stop off at Boone’s house for a few minutes and then head straight over to Rosewood. I barely had my coat off though when there was a knock at the door. Bring on the good news!