“But…to allow someone to just…abuse children, Drew? How could she sit back and just let it happen?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “From what I understand, she actually had a decent life before she met him. Stable career. Then her mother got sick, and she became the caretaker. Between work and her commitments at home, she had no spare time…lost her friends…and eventually her job…fell into the path of loneliness…into obscurity.”
Maxine shuddered just to think of the woman he knew as his mother for the first five years of his life. Perhaps, given what he’d experienced, she should have slammed on the brake and taken a bit more time to consider a relationship with Drew. However, she’d already begun to understand that there was a clear separation between his early childhood and the man into whom he’d grown.
“We all have problems of some sort,” Maxine said. “Her grief doesn’t excuse the abuse.”
“No, it doesn’t,” he agreed. “And the abuse didn’t just focus on her—he extended his rage to everyone around him. Especially Molly…”
He sat back from Maxine and looked up toward the ceiling, his lips pursed as if he were willing himself not to cry. However, Maxine saw tears in his eyes.
“Molly always had it the worst, and yet she was always so kind to me,” he said. “It was almost like she wanted to protect me from the evils that she already knew.”
“How old was she?”
“Two years older than me,” Drew said. “Of course, I had no concept of age at the time. I had no idea how to function in the outside world. I literally had to be taught everything once I returned home.”
“Molly was a beautiful child,” she said, gesturing toward the photo.
For once that evening, he smiled. “Inside and out,” Drew recalled. “She was our little mother. She used to pull me into her lap and pretend to read to me. She’d just make up stories and babble…but she always kept me entertained. And she loved to play dress up with the baby. Hell, I think he was the only doll she ever had.”
A pang of desolation struck Maxine’s heart as the images of his story flashed through her mind. No child should suffer such a life. While Judy and Tom didn’t have much when Maxine was a tiny child, she couldn’t recall a single moment when she doubted that she was loved and cherished.
“And I’m sure you brightened her days, too, Drew,” Maxine said. “You were there for her, too…”
“No, Maxine, I wasn't,” he said quickly. “I wasn't at all...I tried—but not hard enough.”
“Drew, don't say that—you were a child.” Evidently, he felt as if he were just born with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and never managed to shake that mentality. “You have to stop with this self-blame...”
“Oh, Maxine...” He wove his fingers through her hair and touched his forehead to hers. “You have no idea...”
“My sweet man, you torture yourself,” she said. “Why? What happened?”
“He forgot to lock the door, Maxine…” Drew whispered. “He fucking forgot to lock the door…”
Minutes passed, and while Maxine couldn’t read his mind, her anticipation mounted exponentially.
Drew jerked away suddenly, almost violently, as if fearful that someone was about to strike him. Maxine could hear his erratic gasps as he struggled to breathe and the tiny cries that escaped from his throat. Essentially, he was living that tortured moment all over again. He had reverted to his five-year-old self in a matter of seconds. And Maxine felt helpless beside him.
“I tried to save her,” he spoke at last. “The door to that damn apartment was open, and I could hear her cries. I can still hear them now. That will never go away. And I just remember the anger that had finally burst inside me…”
A foreboding feeling ripped at her thoughts, and Maxine felt suddenly sick to her stomach.
“I just remember—I ran into that room, and just as he went to slap her, I came up from behind and bit him on the hand,” Drew said. “As hard as I could. I drew blood, and I know I did because I could taste it.”
All she could think of was this tiny, malnourished little boy, fighting to try to slay the giant who had been hurting his big sister for far too long. Her sob caught in her throat.
“Is…it’s too much,” he whispered and turned away from her.
Delicately, she reached to turn him around and held her breath before she answered with a soft but firm, “No…”
Still, he couldn’t look her in the eyes. It was far too ugly, and he couldn’t fathom her gloom while he unveiled his miserable truths.
“He took his elbow and slammed me in the head…and throttled me across the room,” Drew said, spitting out each distinct syllable. “I must have passed out for quite a while…and when I woke up…”
Drew still couldn’t face her, but Maxine clung to his pain as if it were her own.
“Molly was there on the floor beside me,” he said. “She was bloody, bruised…completely broken.”
His words struck her like a jackknife, hammering at her brain as she tried in vain to process his revelation. She wanted to scream—wanted to put her fist through the wall...wanted to release her rage within. Yet when she attempted to speak, she choked on her own heavy sobs that heaved her entire body.
When Maxine finally looked up, she realized that Drew was weeping just as openly with her.
Without further consideration, she wrapped her arms around his neck, buried her head against his shoulder and gripped him with every ounce of strength in her body. She wasn't about to let go, but surprisingly, he didn't try to pull away.
“I am so sorry...” she muttered again and again. It was all she could possibly think to say to him. “Oh, Drew, what you've seen...what you've been through...I hate this...hate it...”
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked at last, nearly gasping with every word.
“No, Drew,” she shook her head adamantly. “I want to know everything...every detail...please...for your own sake, please confide in me…”
I care about you so much—more than I’ve ever thought I could. Don’t back away from me…
Now, with Maxine to hold on to, he calmed himself as best he could.
“It was as if he had placed her there—on her back with her hands folded at her waist. And I just kept screaming, ‘Molly, wake up! Molly, please, wake up!’ And she didn’t move…she…just didn’t…move…”
Somewhere deep within, he mustered the strength to continue, carrying on in an almost catatonic state. He hadn’t told this story since he began sessions with his last therapist several years ago, but he knew he couldn’t allow Maxine complete access to his life unless he revealed the truth.
“The next thing I knew…the woman was standing there, screaming—wailing like I'd never heard before or again in my life. And he just appeared out of nowhere and went after her next...just beating her...ruthlessly...with his fists. All the while, I could hear the baby upstairs crying, and I just had to get out of there. I had no idea where the hell I was going or what I was doing. I’d never interacted with anyone outside that house. But I just made a run for it.”
“How brave...” Maxine mumbled through her tears. “Oh, how brave, Drew...”
“I took the few seconds I had to spare, and I pushed open the front door and hurried down the street as quick as my little legs could carry me.” His fingers were cold as she reached for his hand once more. “It was pure instinct…and adrenaline. I was in pain myself, but I had to get out of there.”
“That’s heroic,” she assured him.
“I was far too late to be a hero, little one…”
“Stop there, Drew…” she pleaded. “Just…stop…”
“I didn’t do enough.”
“You escaped,” she insisted. “And you found help?”
He nodded, rolling his eyes. “The neighbors. They found me hiding behind a bush…brought me inside…fed me. I was so scared. I’d never dealt with adults who had any compassion. I thought they’d beat me, too. But they w
ere so kind.”
“There are good people in this world,” Maxine said. “Like you, Drew…”
However, he brushed her comment to the side and continued. “They called the police. They’re the real heroes in all of this. You know what I said to them?” He didn’t wait for her response. “I asked them if they’d please go wake my sister…”
It was then that he collapsed in her arms, the tears readily flowing, and for once, Maxine held back her own. As he shook and sobbed, she squeezed him as hard as she possibly could, begging him to believe that he could find some peace within his own personal Hell.
“Drew, take a step back and look at this objectively,” she said. “You helped that baby.”
So stuck in the vicious memories, he demanded bitterly, “How? Because I ran off?”
“You saved his life by dashing out that door,” she insisted.
“Did I?” he asked. “Where is he now?”
“You’ll find him, Drew.” For his sake, she had to believe. “May I ask what became of the woman?”
“Her life was already over, Maxine,” Drew said, his voice boiling with anger. “Consciously, I know first-hand that she was battered, and I understand that there was a lot of drug use going on. But there’s more. Much more.”
“So she was just free to walk the streets?” Maxine asked.
“Her case was pretty much tossed out of court. Her attorney claimed Stockholm Syndrome. They let her go.”
Disbelief draped over Maxine’s face. “That’s…that’s it?”
“Oh, they put her in some halfway house to supposedly rehabilitate her,” Drew said. “Whether it helped her or not, I don’t know. She’s kept an almost anonymous profile since everything went down. I don’t even know if she’s still living in New York or not.”
“Does that frighten you?”
Maxine’s acute ability to read his mind flooded him with emotion again. “You’re far too wise for your age sometimes,” he said. “But yes, it does.”
“Did she…ever hurt you?”
“I was…she…” His jaw slackened and his mouth went dry. Go away!—his thoughts raged in his mind. Leave me alone! You can’t hurt me now! “She was also abusive.”
Again, he stopped short and just shook his head. Somewhere beneath his pain, he had to permit himself to embrace the consolation Maxine so unconditionally offered him. And Drew knew intuitively that she was the only person who just might reach him.
“And what about little Drew that afternoon?” Maxine wondered. “What happened to him?”
“While I was at the neighbors…I remember, I hid myself in the bathroom. Locked the door. I could hear sirens...and I don't remember anything beyond waking up in the hospital...with this wonderful lady standing over my bed...looking at me with love...holding my hand...and telling me very softly while she cried...that I was going to be alright...”
Wiping his cheek with the back of her hand, Maxine tried to smile through their collective anguish. “Your mom...?”
“My mom,” he repeated. “My real mom. And even though she didn’t say a word at first, there was just something in her eyes—and even in her fear—that told me that everything was going to be alright...”
His words touched her deeply. He was one of the few lucky ones who had the chance to go home and return to life, and he recognized that in spite of his own continued torment. However, there was still more to this story that Maxine knew she’d never uncover in a matter of hours. Just like herself, Drew weathered far too many storms to free himself from pain in one evening. They had both struggled separately. Now it was time to join together and to fight those complexities, united as one.
“May I ask what happened, um...to the man?”
“He was killed in prison at Rikers Island,” Drew said. “I think he was there a day.”
“Monsters deserve brutal deaths,” she said.
“Yes, they do…” he agreed and pressed his lips to her forehead. “You’re incredible, you know that, little one?”
“I haven’t done a thing, Drew.” The tips of his fingers caressed over the line of her jaw and behind her ear, then feathered into her hair, giving Maxine some comfort. “I’ve only listened…”
“No…” He shook his head adamantly. “You’ve done so much more…”
“You did the same for me…”
“Maxine...” he could barely speak her name. “I...I...”
“What is it, Drew?” Her voice echoed with her fears that he was about to shut down once again. “Tell me, dammit—don't back away from me now...”
“I’m about to go out on a limb here,” he muttered. “One crazy fucking limb, little one.”
Feelings, born of initial electricity then deepening within the realm of their collective revelations of their pasts, had grown so quickly on both sides. Now, she fretted that perhaps they’d moved too fast. However, the new Maxine refused to look back with regrets. She had to plunge into unknown waters, head-first, and hope for a happy ending.
“Talk to me, Drew…”
“I think…I know it’s only been one week, but…you’ve already given me more in seven days than I’ve experienced in any other relationship in my life.”
“Do you trust me now?” she asked, holding her breath as she waited for his answer.
“Yes, Maxine, I certainly do,” he said, lifting his head to meet her gaze. “And likewise…do you trust me?”
“I’m going to be brutally honest, Drew,” she began. “In matters of the heart, I do.”
“And then, Maxine…” his voice inadvertently hissed between them, his anxieties at an all-time high. “With sex?”
“I’m getting there,” she said with a nervous laugh rolling from her lips. “I think once we start to explore a little more, I’ll have a better sense of what you expect—and of what I expect from you…as…my Dominant. But after last night, Drew, you’ve laid the foundation—”
“Foundation wasn’t the only thing that was laid last night…” he teased, his words burning her pallid cheeks to a perky shade of pink.
“You’re just as bawdy as Ben!” she accused, sitting back a bit in his embrace.
“Sorry,” he rushed to say. “I thought we needed to lighten the mood a little here…”
Again, he was finished talking for the day. However, he’d told Maxine far more than she’d ever expected from him. She willed herself to wait for him to discuss this again, if he ever gathered the courage.
“What I’m trying to say is…”
“What you’re attempting to say is that I convinced you last night that I’m not out to hurt you—emotionally or physically,” he finished her sentence for her. “And once we start to really play, you’ll learn to have faith in what we’re doing—together—and maybe even grow to enjoy it, too.”
“Well,” she began, “I can’t challenge you on that observation.”
“I know you better than you think, Maxine.”
“Is that a warning?” she wondered out loud. “Or a threat?”
“It’s a promise, little one,” he corrected her. “Now I really must feed you. And we still have a few things we need to negotiate for this evening…”
Yes, it was so much easier for Drew to just focus on the needs of others rather than himself. For now, Maxine had to accept that.
“Are you gonna…you know…?” Those hips began to squirm again. How he loved her so ready and anxious with need. “Give me that…punishment?”
With a shrug of his shoulders, he said, “I don’t know what I’m going to do—that, Maxine, is up to you.”
“Then will you just feed me and get it over with?” she said, releasing herself from his arms.
Standing tall on those long, sinewy legs, he reached out and took both her hands. “Follow me to the kitchen…”
Chapter Three
“Meet the other most important lady in my life. Maxine Kirk, Fiona Findlay,” Drew said as they stepped into the kitchen where Nanny Fiona had been working hard, perfectly
plating their pasta for dinner. “This lovely woman keeps this household organized and functional.”
Maxine had no idea that she was there! Oh, she thanked her lucky stars that they hadn’t slipped into play mode. That could have proven embarrassing.
“Lovely to meet you,” Fiona’s voice sang out with that lovely Scottish brogue that was music to Maxine’s ears. Oh, she could have just sat and had a conversation with this woman all night, listening to tales of what Drew was like as a child. “You’ve got my boy here smitten, do you?”
Fiona was a small woman, like herself, but beneath that poof of gray hair and behind those narrow blue eyes, a strong lady emerged. When she’d first arrived in the States nearly thirty years ago with her abusive husband and young daughter, she had nothing, but she vowed that in this new country, she would start a new life.
In the middle of the night, while her husband worked the graveyard shift, she escaped their tiny Bronx studio and headed for the first homeless shelter she could find. No, they didn’t have anything but the clothes on their backs and the Teddy Bear that had made its way with her daughter across the ocean, but she promised that little girl that very evening that she’d offer her a better life.
Over the following days, she kept to herself while trying to create a plan. She needed a job. Her daughter needed to go to school. And they needed a proper home. One of the volunteers, a lovely woman in her thirties with a mop of curly hair and huge blue eyes, took a particular interest in Fiona and young Katherine. In fact, Maggie McKenzie often brought her own young son with her when she lent her time to the shelter. A carbon copy of his mother’s stunning looks, he was shy and sad, but he bonded well with Kat, as everyone called her. While Maggie took the time to get to know Fiona, little Drew and Kat played endlessly in the small toy room for the children. Kat, in fact, was actually Drew’s very first kiss. No one knew, of course, but he might have to confess that to Maxine one day.
In time, Maggie helped Fiona to apply for her citizenship and offered her a well-paying job as Nanny to her two boys. The McKenzies found a small but lovely apartment in the neighborhood for her and Kat, and eventually, Fiona paid off her divorce and made a way for herself all on her own. There were few people whom Drew adored or respected more.
WRAPPED: The Manhattan Bound Series, Book Two Page 4