The Seven Steps to Closure

by Donna Joy Usher

  I parked at the International Terminal, wincing at the thought of the parking fee and hoping her flight was on time. Bad Bunny fitted easily into my huge handbag and, after his exciting car trip, he curled up and went to sleep.

  It felt like forever before Dinah finally cleared customs. ‘I’m sorry,’ she exclaimed, as she fell into my arms. ‘I had shoes that had soil on them and they had to take them off and clean them for me, and I had a wooden carving I bought that needed checking, and God, I’m so tired.’

  I just laughed and hugged her and slowly became aware that there was a strange woman watching us. Geez, what was her problem? Hadn’t she ever seen two women hugging before? Maybe she thought we were lesbians and was having a good old gawk. Or maybe it was someone I knew and had forgotten. Bad Bunny chose that exact moment to stick his head over the top of my bag and the strange woman said, ‘Dinah, you didn’t tell me she had a bunny. How gorgeous. Can I hold him?’ she asked me.

  ‘Sorry, time for introductions,’ Dinah said as she let me go. ‘Tara, this is Gloria Johnson. She was one of the doctors on the ship. Gloria, this is Tara.’

  ‘So pleased to meet you,’ Gloria gushed. ‘Dinah’s told me so much about you.’

  She smiled at Dinah who said, ‘Gloria does the most amazing work on the Mercy Ships. She spends a month every year in Africa operating on women with Obstetric Fistulas.’

  ‘Right, ‘ I said, ‘the thing they get from prolonged labour.’

  ‘Oh, you know about it. That’s amazing, hardly anyone knows about it,’ said Gloria excitedly.

  I squirmed a little, wanting her to believe that I really was that clever. ‘Nah,’ I finally admitted, ‘I read about it on the Mercy website when Dinah first decided to go. I’d never heard about it before then.’

  ‘Oh.’ Gloria looked a little disappointed, but then she smiled and said, ‘well you know about it now. That’s the important thing.’

  ‘Here.’ I handed her Bad Bunny. ‘He loves having his belly rubbed.’

  Squealing she scooped him up.

  ‘Tara, when did you get a rabbit?’ asked Dinah.

  ‘Actually he’s a Belgian hare,’ I corrected her. ‘Mum gave him to me last weekend to replace Fishy Fishy, who committed suicide, who was to replace Princess, who plunged to her death while trying to kill Cocky.’

  Dinah started laughing. ‘It looks like I’ve missed a lot.’ She reached out and rubbed Bad Bunny’s belly and she and Gloria shared a smile.

  ‘What’s his name?’

  ‘Bad Bunny.’

  ‘Why Bad Bunny?’

  ‘Mum was calling him Bad Bunny because he was eating Dad’s garden. It sort of stuck.’

  ‘What’s his problem?’ she asked.

  ‘As far as I can ascertain his only idiosyncrasy is that he really, really likes humping things.’

  Dinah burst out laughing then explained to Gloria, ‘Tara’s Mum, whom you have to meet, works at an animal shelter and tries to find homes for the psychologically disturbed animals.’

  ‘Oohh,’ said Gloria, ‘maybe she could get us one.’ And then she blushed and said, ‘I mean me one.’

  I watched while Dinah reached out and touched Gloria’s face. Whoa, what was going on here? I was standing there with a stunned expression on my face while the pieces started to fall into place, and then the clincher occurred. With Bad Bunny still in her arms, Gloria pivoted towards Dinah, who wrapped her arms around her and kissed her. Not a chaste peck on the cheek either, but a full on smooch on the lips. It gave me such a shock that I let out a little squeal.

  Dinah turned to me in concern. ‘Sorry, a bit too much too soon?’

  ‘No no,’ I lied, clutching my face, ‘a bug just flew into my eye.’

  ‘Here,’ said Gloria, handing Bad Bunny to Dinah and suddenly becoming all business. ‘Let me have a look.’

  ‘Isn’t she great?’ said Dinah.

  I tried to nod my head at her while Gloria prised open my eye and examined it. ‘Can’t see anything, which is great as it means it didn’t scratch your eyeball. You should be fine,’ she finally announced.

  ‘Gee, thanks, it feels better already,’ I garbled in embarrassment.

  Dinah stuck her tongue out at me from behind Gloria’s back, knowing full well I had had no such thing as a bug in my eye. I stuck mine back out at her and then I smiled. I saw Dinah sigh in relief and realised how worried she must have been about the whole coming-out-to-your-best-friend thing.

  ‘So,’ I said, as we finally arrived at my car, ‘how long have you guys been an item?’

  ‘Well,’ said Dinah, ‘we were on the same plane on the way over. They told Gloria to look out for me at the gate.’

  ‘We asked if they could move our seats so we could sit together and I could fill Dinah in on what to expect,’ continued Gloria. ‘I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw how cute she was.’ She winked at Dinah before continuing. ‘I didn’t want to freak her out, but I just couldn’t stay away.’

  ‘It only took her a week to break me down. She was pretty convincing.’ Dinah chuckled. I decided that I didn’t want to know exactly what form the convincing had taken.

  ‘And we’ve been inseparable ever since,’ finished Gloria.

  ‘Right, so whose house am I heading for?’

  ‘Mine,’ said Dinah. ‘Hey Tara, please don’t tell the others before Saturday. I want to be the one to do it.’

  ‘Hell, be my guest. I want to be there to see it.’

  ‘Do you think they’ll mind?’

  ‘No, of course not – I think they’ll get a bit of a shock though.’

  I pulled up in front of Dinah’s little, red brick cottage in Randwick and helped them unload their things.

  ‘Brunch on Saturday,’ I told Dinah. ‘Is that all right with you?’

  ‘Yeah brunch’s great.’ She opened her mouth in a huge yawn.

  ‘Come on Gloria. Let’s go get some sleep.’

  I doubted though from the look Gloria threw her that she would be getting much sleep for a while.

  ‘See you guys on Saturday,’ I said as I hopped back in the car.

  Dinah threw me a grateful look and I knew she had been worried about Gloria’s acceptance into our little group.

  Picking Bad Bunny up, I waved his little paw at them and then moved him back to his shotgun position.

  ‘Well BB,’ I said as we drove off, ‘looks like it’s just you and me kid.’

  Bad Bunny, however, was trying to hump the armrest of the passenger seat and wasn’t at all interested in my moment of self-pity.

  * * *

  Nat, Elaine, Benny, Bad Bunny and I were at the Mudslide Café waiting for Dinah to turn up. I was struggling not to say anything that would give Dinah’s secret away and was grateful that Elaine had been on a date with Alistair the night before.

  ‘Where’d he take you?’ I asked, while mentally chanting, Don’t say anything about Gloria. Don’t say anything about Gloria.

  ‘Villa Diora.’

  ‘Oh, that fancy Italian restaurant. Any good?’ asked Nat.

  ‘The food was fantastic, the wine was wonderful and the company was even better.’ She looked like the cat that had gotten the canary.

  ‘So did you…?’ I asked thinking, Don’t mention the word lesbian.

  ‘We had a very passionate embrace on my front doorstep. And then I wished him good night and told him I’d see him tomorrow. We’re having a picnic.’

  ‘Wow. So you weren’t even tempted to invite him in?’ asked Nat.

  ‘Of course I was,’ said Elaine. ‘I had to go straight upstairs and have a cold shower.’

  Just then Dinah turned up, which was a huge relief as I was so overloaded trying not to say anything about her and Gloria and kissing and lesbians, that I had got to the point where I couldn’t say anything at all.

  We all jumped up to give Dinah a hug. When it was Elaine’s turn, she held her out at full arm’s length, looked her in the eye for a few seconds and then clas
ped her into another embrace.

  ‘Thank God,’ she exclaimed. ‘You’ve finally come out. It’s about time.’

  ‘Tara,’ admonished Dinah, ‘you promised.’

  ‘You are super scary,’ I said to Elaine. ‘You knew Dinah was gay?’

  ‘Dinah’s gay?’ Nat asked.

  ‘Is that a problem?’ Dinah said defensively.

  ‘No, no, not at all, a bit of a shock,’ Nat paused. ‘A big shock actually,’ she admitted. ‘But I’m sure I’ll get used to it.’

  Dinah squeezed her hand.

  ‘Well,’ said Elaine, ‘thank God that’s finally out in the open. Now where is she?’

  I had been wondering the same thing myself. Where was Gloria? Had they had a spat already and broken up? But no, I watched as Dinah blushed – definitely not broken up.

  ‘I’m guessing she’s somewhere nearby waiting to see how we respond to your big news before you introduce her, and that you’re going to give her some sort of prearranged signal. Ahh a text,’ Elaine amended, ‘when it’s safe to come over.’

  ‘You sure you didn’t tell her?’ Dinah asked me.

  ‘Hell, even I didn’t know that,’ I said.

  ‘Well go on,’ said Elaine, ‘I’m dying to meet her.’

  ‘All right, as long as you’re all comfortable with it, I’d love you to meet her.’

  ‘Wow,’ said Nat a little dumbfounded, ‘you’re really gay.’

  ‘Of course we’re all comfortable with it.’ Elaine leaned over and shoved Nat. ‘Aren’t we Natalie?’

  ‘Hughhh? Oh yeah right. I’m fine with it. I’m cool with gay, you know I love Tristan,’ she said to Elaine. ‘I’m just in shock that’s all. I had no idea.’

  ‘All right,’ said Dinah as she rapidly punched the keys on her mobile and fired off a text.

  A few moments later Gloria appeared around the corner and sauntered up the road to us. Her shoulder length hair fell in soft curls around her face, giving her an angelic look that suited her huge blue eyes. That’s where any resemblance to an angel ended. She had on low cut, tight fitting leather pants and a t-shirt that showed us a flash of smooth brown belly. Over the shirt was a matching leather jacket.

  ‘Wow,’ said Elaine to Dinah approvingly, ‘she’s hot. What does she do?’

  ‘She’s a doctor.’

  ‘Ohhh,’ squealed Elaine in excitement, ‘so’s mine.’

  ‘Great,’ said Nat laughing, ‘they both get doctors and I get a cleaner.’

  ‘Yes, but a hot cleaner,’ said Elaine.

  ‘Hey, at least you’re getting something,’ I said, poking her. ‘All I’ve got is a nymphomaniac hare.’ I patted Bad Bunny’s head, which was poking over the top of my bag.

  Gloria arrived at our table and stood there shyly while Dinah introduced her. Once the introductions were finished, we pulled up an extra chair and began to fill each other in on what we’d missed in each other’s lives.

  It was several hours later that Dinah finally said to me, ‘So Tara, what happens now?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘What step are you up to.’

  ‘Oh, step five. Travel to an exotic destination. I’m going to go overseas while the wedding is on.’

  ‘Ooooh,’ exclaimed Gloria. ‘Can we please, please, pretty please look after Bad Bunny while you’re gone?’ She reached over and rubbed his head.

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘Dad will be thrilled.’

  ‘So where are you going?’ Dinah asked.

  ‘I don’t know yet. I’m waiting for the universe to supply the destination. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.’

  I stretched my arms over my head and said, ‘I need an afternoon nap.’

  ‘Yeah, I’m whacked,’ admitted Dinah. ‘This jetlag thing sucks.’

  ‘All right,’ said Elaine, ‘the meeting of the girlhood is officially over and will reconvene at Tara’s as soon as she’s ready to fill us in on her travel plans.’

  ‘I’m not sure I can handle the pressure,’ I gasped. ‘Where to go, what to do? Any takers on a joint trip?’

  ‘This is something you have to do by yourself,’ said Elaine, effectively nipping the idea in the bud.

  I looked at Natalie for support but she just shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head as though to say, ‘Sorry, you’re on your own here.’

  ‘How long have I got to come up with a destination?’

  ‘Everybody free Wednesday night?’ asked Elaine. ‘All right Tara,’ she continued, once they had all checked their diaries, ‘you’ve got till Wednesday night. We’ll be at your place at 7pm – don’t stress we’ll bring dinner.’

  As I lay in bed later that afternoon, listening to the rhythmical humping of Bad Bunny giving my old teddy a bit of a session, I contemplated different holiday destinations. What if I chose the wrong place? What if something was meant to happen while I was away that would change the course of my life, but I missed it because while it was happening in Turkey I was sunbaking on a Greek Island? In the end, I came up with an idea that would take the decision out of my hands and allow the universe to provide me with my destination. I drifted off to sleep peaceful and happy with my decision.

  * * *

  The girls had arrived at 7pm sharp on Wednesday night and taken over my kitchen. Benny and Bad Bunny were having a Mexican standoff: Bad Bunny towering over Benny, they sat like statues, eyeing each other.

  ‘What’s he eat?’ Gloria asked.

  ‘Hay,’ I said.

  ‘Hay?’

  ‘Yep, grass hay. I get it from the pet store. It keeps everything moving so it’s very important. Plus I give him three cups of greens and 3 tablespoons of carrot or fruit a day. He loves strawberries, but I can only give him a tiny bit of that because it’s so high in sugars.’

  ‘What can’t he eat?’

  ‘Lots of things, but in the vegetable world potato and corn are too high in starch, and cauliflower, broccoli and cabbage can give him wind and kill him.’

  ‘Right, no broccoli, cauliflower or cabbage,’ she said, sounding a little stressed.

  ‘Don’t worry, it’s all written down for you.’

  She wandered off to watch Bad Bunny and Benny who were now sniffing each other carefully.

  ‘So,’ I said as I sidled up to Dinah, ‘have you told them?’

  ‘Told who what?’ she asked nonchalantly, as she sliced up a tomato.

  ‘Your Mum and David, about Gloria.’

  ‘Yes I told them. Mum’s meeting her next week.’ She placed the tomato in the salad bowl and picked up an avocado.

  ‘And?’

  ‘And what?’ she asked, flicking the seed out of the avocado.

  ‘I know you’re doing this just to annoy me,’ I said.

  She laughed. ‘They were fine about it.’

  ‘Just fine?’

  ‘More than fine, Mum was relieved.’ She put her knife down and turned to face me.

  ‘Relieved?’ I asked confused.

  ‘That I had finally worked it out,’ she said, shrugging one shoulder. ‘She said she had been worried that my relationship with Dad had made me choose abusive men as partners.’

  ‘Do you think that was the case?’ I asked thinking, Damn well you chose abusive men as partners.

  She looked at me and shook her head. ‘Tara you and I both know that’s exactly what I was doing. When I had that showdown with Creepy Doug at the restaurant, it was like gaining closure from my father. It left me free to be who I really am. It was a bit annoying though. There I was all worked up to tell her, wondering how she was going to take it, and she just throws her arms around me and says, “Thank God”.’

  ‘And David?’

  ‘Said, “Whatever makes you happy sis. When do I get to meet her?”’

  ‘Has he met her?’

  ‘Funnily enough he knows her. They were working in the same ward at the hospital last year.’

  Gloria wandered over with some garlic bread, which she held out to Dinah. ‘He tri
ed to crack onto me in the tearoom,’ she said.

  I laughed. ‘That sounds like David.’

  When we had all eaten, I decided it was the right time to let the universe reveal its chosen destination for me. ‘All right then,’ I said, hopping up to prepare my decision-making tools. When I had them ready and the girls were seated on the lounges in front of me I began. ‘Thank you all for coming tonight. As you are aware the Wedding of the Year is next month, and I have come to a decision that it would be better for my mental health, and everyone else’s, if I was nowhere near Sydney during this time.’

  Elaine raised her wine glass. ‘Hear, hear,’ she said.

  ‘So I have decided to finally take Dinah’s advice about the psychological benefits of travel and will be venturing overseas for a few weeks during this time.’

  The girls broke out in a round of applause, as if it was the first time they had heard this.

  ‘Where are you going?’ Elaine asked.

  ‘Well Elaine that is why you are all here tonight.’

  ‘You don’t know do you,’ she said, shaking her head.

  ‘No, but I will very soon. I am going to allow the universe to make the decision for me.’

  ‘I knew those self-help books were a bad idea.’

  ‘No seriously, I am opening myself up to the energies of the cosmos and I will let them guide my hand in determining my fate. Here you see before us the prepared tools of divine intervention.’ I picked up a world map and, unfolding it, tacked it onto a cork-board I had previously placed on the wall. I was momentarily distracted by how big the map was. Wow, there were a lot of different countries I had never heard of.

  ‘Are you just going to look at it and choose somewhere?’ asked Nat.

  ‘No, I am going to throw this at it.’ I held up a dart I had borrowed from Martin and Lil the night before. ‘Wherever it lands is where I go. Your job is to witness the honesty of the process and make sure that I allow the energies to guide me forwards. I am distancing myself from the decision-making, because let’s face it, up until now my decisions have been crap.’

  ‘Clever, clever,’ said Dinah enthusiastically.

  I picked up the dart. Looking at the map had made me realise there were a lot of areas of the world that I didn’t want to visit, and I was starting to get a little nervous. Closing one eye I lined the map up with the end of the dart, and propelled the dart in what I hoped was the direction of Hawaii. The dart missed the map completely, thudding into the wall.