“Do you want to?”
“Do you?” We’re both trying to please each other.
“Actually, I’d rather turn music on here, eat, have some cocktails, and relax.”
“That sounds perfect. I’ll call Marissa and Shannon and invite them. However, I would appreciate you putting some clothes on. You look way too good half naked.”
My comment draws a laugh from him. “Well maybe you should put some more clothes on too. You know, like a bra.”
Oops. I forgot I didn’t have one on. I follow him into the bedroom and pull out a bra and a brown, black, white, and dark-purple tie-dye camisole with thin, crisscrossed back straps and layered, raw-edge ruffles at the hem. I keep my jean shorts on and slip back into my Tory Burch flats. I feel like we’re having a little party now, so I duck into the bathroom and apply a little makeup and touch up my hair. I have a great glow from the sun today, and I think I look pretty. I go around getting ready like I’m at home, and when I finally look at Julian, he’s just sitting on the bed staring at me. He has on black cargo shorts and a gray resin, washed, fitted Henley T-shirt that really fits his upper body. Damn.
“See something you like, Julian?” I feel playful and flirtatious.
“Sí, Alexa. I like seeing you here, in my room, getting ready and feeling so comfortable.”
“I’m not sure how any woman stands a chance against your charms, Julian. You sure have a way with words, among other things.” He once again has said the perfect thing.
He smiles warmly at me. “Just calling it like I see it, Alexa.”
I walk over to the bed, and he pulls me onto his lap. He slides his hand underneath my tank and caresses my breast. “You always look beautiful. I can’t take my eyes off of you.”
This time I’m the one who stands up. We’ll never leave this room if he keeps touching me like that. “Let’s go before we end up back in bed … or against the wall … or in the shower.”
Julian groans and follows me from the room. While he gets the food out, I call Marissa. She and Jenna are hanging out at my house and want to come join us. Shannon is out with Cory. I put Julian on the phone, and he gives them directions, tells them how to get into the garage, and where to park. After I get off the phone, I start helping Julian get ready for this impromptu gathering. He shows me where everything is in the kitchen, and we end up setting up a pretty serious spread. Julian pulls out a few bottles of wine from the wine refrigerator in the kitchen and sets them on the table. He asks me if I want something to drink.
“Are you having anything?”
“I’m going to have a vodka tonic. But I can make you whatever you want. Or you can have wine or beer.” He leads me out of the kitchen into an area nearby that serves as a butler’s pantry. I have him make me a vodka/cranberry and walk back into the living room as Danny and the others come walking in. Within minutes, everyone is eating and drinking. Julian turns on music, and just like that we’re having a party. I grab a plate and head out to the terrace. Gabby follows me and asks if it’s okay if she joins me.
“Of course.” I sit on one couch, and she sits opposite me.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk much today. It was kind of a strange day, and I hope you didn’t feel uncomfortable.”
I have no idea what she is referring to, but I hope nobody sensed Julian and I were on the outs.
“I had a nice time. It sucked that Julian had to leave to go to work, but everyone was very friendly.”
“It was a shock he was there at all. I’ve been with Danny on and off for a year, and I’ve only seen Julian at the beach one other time. And that was just for an hour or so. He’s always working. That must bother you.”
I’m not sure if she’s making innocent conversation or if she’s on a recon mission. “I understand he has to work a lot. We haven’t been together long enough for it to bother me yet. Maybe at some point it will, but I’m not upset about today.” I already had the impression Julian was a bit of a workaholic, and this just adds more credibility to my thoughts.
“Do you mind if I ask how long you’ve been seeing each other?”
Yes, I do mind. I think this but don’t say it aloud. I’m not sure where this is heading. “We just met a few weeks ago.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. Why?” Now I want to know where she’s going with this. My heart is starting to race, and I prepare to hear something I don’t want to.
“I just assumed you’d been seeing each other for a while, that’s all.”
“And why is that, Gabby?” She’s actually starting to get on my nerves with her evasiveness. She started this conversation.
“Honestly?”
Geez, what’s with these people having to ask if they should be honest? Didn’t anyone ever teach them lying is bad?
“Yes, honestly. If you have something to say, I’d appreciate you just spitting it out.”
So she does. “Alexa, nobody has seen Julian bring a date to any family or friend function. I’ve been to many of them over the last year, and I’ve never seen him with someone, not even once. He even came to a wedding alone. But honestly, that’s not even really it. Julian looks at you like he’s totally in love with you, and you look at him the same way. I just assumed you’ve been together for a while.”
Oh whoa. I actually choke a little on my drink. Luckily I’m not forced to respond because just then Julian walks outside with Marissa and Jenna. Thank you, girls! I introduce them to Gabby and excuse myself to go back inside with them. I didn’t want to say anything to Gabby because I’m sure she’ll share whatever I say with Danny, and he would probably share it with Julian. I just dodged a bullet, but I can’t get her words out of my mind. I do know what she was seeing though. I’ve seen the flashes of love in his eyes. I have since the first night we were together. It’s what freaked me out so badly.
I don’t want to get all bogged down in emotional stuff while we’re having a party. I show the girls where the food and drinks are and introduce them to the others. I’m not surprised they fit right in. I stand back a little and watch all these people orbiting around each other, and I can’t help but be amazed at how seamless my and Julian’s worlds have blended together. The only thing that’s missing for me is Luke. In any other circumstance, I would have invited him too.
Julian comes to me and takes my free hand in his. “What are you standing here thinking about, Alexa?”
I turn and kiss him softly on the lips. “Only good things, Julian. I promise.”
“Do you want to dance with me, sexy girl?” Oh hell, yes. The first time we danced was hot, and I would love to see him move again.
“I’d love to dance with you, Julian.”
“Can you salsa?”
“Sí, Julian. Vamos a bailar.”
Julian flashes me his flirtatious smile, clicks the remote on his sound system, and the sounds of Juan Magan fill the room. He takes my drink out of my hand, sets it down, takes me in his arms, and starts moving with me to the music. I’ve seen how well Julian can move his hips, but his dancing is even sexier. I let him lead me, and I quickly get lost in the music and the delicious feeling of his body pressed against mine. The others see us dancing and start moving some of the furniture. Pretty soon the living room is a dance floor, and everyone is joining in. Julian makes sure the music keeps playing. I’m not sure what playlist he has on, but he must have gotten it from his DJ at Stellar, because it sounds like we’re in the club. Marissa and Jenna look like they’re having a blast, and I’m so happy they’re here. We dance song after song for hours. Julian is loose and relaxed, and I love seeing this side of him. He always seems a bit reserved in public, and tonight I’m getting to see a different side of him. He’s fun and flirty and has his hands all over me. There isn’t a single place I’d rather be.
The next time I notice the time it’s close to midnight. The night
has flown by, and although I’m having an amazing night with all of our friends, I’m ready for them to leave so I can be alone with Julian. The dancing, flirting, and drinking have left me wanting him desperately.
I whisper seductively in his ear. “It’s time to kick all these people out. You told me you were going to fuck me all night, and that needs to start now.”
He groans, pulls me close to him, and kisses me passionately. He whispers back, “I did promise you that, didn’t I? I never break my promises. I hope you’re ready for me, baby, because I’ve been hard for you all night.”
I show him I’m ready by slipping my tongue into his mouth and grinding my hips against him. I’ve made my point. Julian turns the music down, and the others seem to immediately get the message the party is over. Everyone offers to help clean up, but Julian assures them it’s not necessary. I’d rather them leave now too, even if it means I’ll be cleaning up later. Julian says good-bye to my friends, and I walk them out to the elevators.
Jenna gives me a hug. “That was so much fun, Lexie. Thanks for inviting us over. You look so happy.”
“I’m glad you guys came. It was a fun night.”
The elevator doors open, and they get in. Marissa looks at me before the doors shut and says, “You’re crazy if you have any concerns about how Julian feels about you, Lex. I watched him watching you all night. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He’s so into you. Try not to screw it up.”
I give her a big smile. “I’m trying, Mari. I’m trying.”
I walk back in as the others are walking out. We all say our good-byes and promise to do this again soon. I find Julian in the kitchen cleaning up. He has changed the music on his system, and slower music is playing softly in the background. He hears me come back in and turns and looks at me.
He sounds apologetic. “I won’t be long. I can’t leave this all out. It’ll drive me crazy.”
I smile at him and start helping. “I figured you weren’t the type of guy to go to sleep with a big mess like this. Your condo is spotless.” I look around at the aftereffects of the party. “Or was.”
He smiles back at me. We make small talk and get busy. Before too long, we have all the food put away, the trash picked up, and the furniture back in place. It doesn’t even look like anyone was here. Julian dims the lights in the living room, and the moon and stars are illuminating the room beautifully. Julian walks by me, and I pull him close. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly. We both are tired, and I’m a little buzzed. I’m also very relaxed and sense he is as well. I stare out into the night and savor the feelings of completeness I’m experiencing. We stay like that for a while, neither one of us wanting to break the mood by saying anything or moving. As we stand there in each other’s arms, I hear the intro music to a song come on. A song that says so many of the things I can’t say to Julian but want to. A song that fits our situation better than any other we’ve shared. It’s the song “Stay” by Rihanna and Mickey Ekko. I ask him to turn the volume up a little. I don’t need to say anything else. As the lyrics play, we look deeply into each other’s eyes and mentally sing the words to each other.
Julian sings the last verse to me out loud as he stares into my soul.
Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move,
makes me feel like I can’t live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay, stay. I want you to stay.
The emotions racing through my body are the rawest I’ve ever felt. I’m stripped down and exposed, and I know Julian can see and feel everything I’ve been holding back. I want this man to desire me, need me, and most of all love me. I want him to feel like he can’t live without me because that’s how I’m feeling right now in this moment. I have no idea what the morning light will bring, and I’m sure before long I’ll be back on the rollercoaster of emotions I’ve been on since I met him. Deep down I know I’m not quite ready to let him totally in yet, but I know now with absolutely certainty I want to.
Julian’s mouth finds mine, and every emotion he’s feeling pours into me through his kiss. It’s deep, searching, and laden with desire. I melt into his embrace and get lost in the feel of his lips and tongue on my face, my neck, and my hungry mouth. We’ve spent the last few weeks in a tug of war, fighting for control of what’s happening between us. Until tonight I’ve held my ground. Right now I just want to be his, so I let go of the rope. No games, no sarcasm, no holding back. I press my lips to his ear and whisper, “I’m yours Julian. I want to stay, and if you want me, I’m yours.”
Julian doesn’t answer me. Instead, he picks me up and carries me to his bedroom. He does break a promise to me tonight, but it’s okay. Julian doesn’t fuck me all night long. He makes love to me slowly, passionately, and with nothing held back. We spend the next few hours completely lost in each other’s bodies and hearts, and as I fall asleep in his arms, I know, deep in my core, whether or not I’m willing to tell him, Julian Bauer owns my heart. I just hope he doesn’t break it.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The sun shining through the top of the window shades wakes me up. Morning has come way too soon. I immediately feel the absence of Julian next to me, and as I open my eyes and roll over, I get confirmation I’m in the bed alone. We didn’t get much sleep last night, and my head is pounding from lack of sleep as well as the drinks I had. I glance at the clock and see it’s only nine thirty. Ugh. Why am I up so early on a Sunday? And where the hell is Julian? I pull on my shorts and tank top, brush my teeth, use the bathroom, and head out to find him. He’s standing outside on the terrace, and I see he either went for a run or to the gym downstairs. He’s dressed in white athletic shorts, tennis shoes, and nothing else. I hope he wasn’t running through the streets of South Beach looking this hot without my supervision. He’s dripping with sweat and looks sexy as hell. I admire him for a minute or two before I slide the door open and join him.
“You should have woken me up.” I stand next to him and take in the gorgeous views.
He turns and flashes me a smile. “You were sound asleep, and I didn’t have the heart to wake you. I wanted to get a workout in before I went into work.”
My heart sinks a little. I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me he would be working today, but it didn’t, and I’m disappointed. The man owns a hotel, and I’m not sure why I thought he would just hang out with me all day.
Julian grabs a towel and dries himself off a little bit. “Are you hungry, or do you want some coffee?”
“Just coffee, please.” I follow him inside and sit on a stool at the massive island. Julian makes me a cup of coffee, and I notice he must have been paying attention when I made it yesterday. He makes it perfectly with one sweetener and a splash of cream.
“Thank you.” Julian hands me the coffee, kisses me on the forehead, and begins to make himself a protein shake. When he’s done, he turns and leans against the island. He looks like he’s about to say something he knows I won’t like. His tone is apologetic, and I feel myself tensing up immediately.
“I want to let you know now that the next two weeks are going to be super busy for me. We’re implementing a new reservation system starting tomorrow, which may or not may not be a good idea as far as timing goes. I’m hoping it fixes all the problems we’ve been having, but I could end up with more problems than I started with. I’m also going on a business trip to Naples and Sanibel to check out some properties we’re thinking of buying. Danny, my Dad, and I are heading out Wednesday morning, and I’m not sure what time we’ll be back on Sunday.”
I take it all in. He’s basically telling me he won’t have any time for me over the next week. I guess that’s why he wanted to spend this weekend together. I look at him stoically, but a sinking feeling is growing in my belly. The reality of his life is colliding with the reality of my insecurities. I remain silent, and he continues.
<
br /> “And next week is going to be crazy too. You’ve lived here all your life; you know how busy Memorial Day weekend is here. We’re totally sold out, and we have a bunch of events on the calendar. We have several live acts playing, starting Wednesday night. I need to be around as much as possible in case anything goes wrong.”
Okay. Make that two weeks. All the warm fuzzies I was feeling this morning dissipate as I realize the little bubble Julian and I have been in this weekend has popped. I process all the information that he just gave me but get stuck on his mention of Memorial Day Weekend and his choice of words. I mean, what could possibly go wrong over Memorial weekend, I think snidely to myself. I’ve been trying as hard as I can to push away any thoughts of it because I know it will be full of painful memories for me. I’m still not sure how I’ll be able to get through it all without freaking out. Maybe it’s a good thing Julian’s going to be busy the next two weeks. If he’s focusing on work, he won’t be focusing on me. I start to feel anxious thinking about it, and apparently Julian sees or senses it.
He takes my hand and squeezes it. “Alexa, I’ll make time for you, and we will see each other. I just wanted you to know what was going on so you don’t think I’m blowing you off.”
Uh-oh. I begin to feel the anxiety start pulsing through me. I yank my hand away before he feels how sweaty it is and how it’s beginning to shake. He looks hurt by my rejection. Damn it, this is coming on quickly. I stand up and walk toward the bedroom. There’s no chance I’m going to let Julian see this play out.
I call back over my shoulder, “It’s totally fine, Julian. I’m not worried about it. I know you’re a busy man. I really don’t expect you to spend all of your time with me. I have a life too.”
I’m rattling away trying to mask the fact I’m headed toward a mini meltdown. I grab my bag and hurry into the bathroom. I lock the door behind me so Julian can’t follow me. I turn the water on and step in before it’s even warm. The cool water is oddly soothing and helps calm me a bit. I sit down on the floating bench and bring my knees up to my chest. I take deep breaths and let the water beat down on me until my heartbeat is steady again. It doesn’t take very long, and I’m thankful the duration of these recent panic attacks has been shorter. When I’m sure I’m okay, I stand up and finish taking a shower. I dry myself off and get dressed. I put on the last of the clothes I brought for the weekend, a white cotton miniskirt and a navy and white, striped tank top. I pull my wet hair back into a ponytail. I’m assuming I’m heading home soon, so there’s no need for me to get ready to go anywhere, but I’m hoping my outward appearance masks my inner turmoil. I put a little powder, mascara, and lip gloss on. I slide into white-and-blue Onex cork, wedge sandals. When I walk out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, I’m surprised I don’t find Julian waiting for me in the bedroom. I pick up the rest of my stuff, throw it in my bag, and head out with it to the living room. He’s not there either. I notice the sliding glass door is cracked open and correctly assume he’s back out on the terrace. Julian is sitting on one of the chaise lounges with his eyes shut. He hasn’t changed his clothes. I sit on the chair to his right. He turns his head so he’s looking at me, and I see a mixture of emotions in his eyes. I see confusion, frustration, and a little sadness staring back at me, and after the incredible night we had last night, I don’t blame him for being upset with me. I’m upset with me.
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