by Loren, Celia
“I’m not a dealer…more of a distributor.”
“So who was at the FBI?”
Jagger fought with himself. Could he tell her all of this? Why was she asking so many questions? How would she react? Even if she weren’t with the Bureau, would she run away and turn him in?
Britton could see him waning from the truth, but knew this might be her only chance to get this kind of information. She softly put her hand on his.
“Do you not trust me?”
“I do, but…”
“I understand. We don’t know each other anymore, but Jagger, you were my first love, and my brother is loyal to you. Do you actually think I’d be capable of reporting you to the police?”
It was everything he was thinking, but it felt good to have her affirm his expectations.
“Hank, the guy you met earlier, is with the DEA.”
“What?” She had practiced her surprised reactions. “Did you know this?”
“Yes. He’s on our side. He’s helping us get that shipment back.”
“Oh thank God. And you trust him?”
“He has two kids in college. I trust he needs the money I’m giving him.”
“Right.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. A little shocked, but okay—wow, so he actually works for the government? Aren’t you even a little worried that he might be playing you?”
“Of course, but I’m taking precautions, but he’s proved himself enough so far that I’m choosing to believe he’s on our side.”
“This is just a lot.”
“I know.” He could see her mind spinning. Maybe this was too much for one day. He didn’t want to suggest it but it felt like the right thing to do. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No.” It was the truth. She didn’t want him to go anywhere. He was opening up to her. “So, what else do you guys do?” Maybe that was a little blunt.
“No, Britton.”
“Jagger, if you want me to be part of you, then I need to be part of this. You understand that, right? I’m not the kind of girl who just sits on the sidelines and pretends that everything happening around her is perfect. Whatever you’re involved in is obviously dangerous and if I’m going to be sitting at home alone at night, I need to know the degree of that danger.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes.” He leaned in and softly kissed her lips. “You are an amazing woman, Britton Ramirez.”
She smiled at him, loving the compliment. “Thank you.”
“Hank saw a woman at the FBI who had the same color hair as you and was running away from him.”
Britton started to laugh. “The same color hair? Like brown? Don’t most people have brown hair?” She was worried that her laughter would reveal her nervousness, but then he laughed with her.
“I guess you’re right.”
“He didn’t catch up to her?”
“No, he said she disappeared in the stairwell.”
“Does that have you worried? I mean, do you think it could be someone else in your group?”
“Absolutely not. We’re a family, and family would never do that to each other.”
“So maybe it was just a coincidence.”
“It would seem like it, but I don’t plan on dropping it.”
“Of course.”
They were silent, not sure of what to say to each other. Britton wanted to get out of the situation, but didn’t want to seem suspicious.
“I like talking to you.” He admitted.
It was such a simple compliment, but it made Britton tear up. All of her memories of their time talking rushed through her head.
“What? What did I say?”
“Nothing, it was just sweet.”
He turned over her hand in his, tracing the marks that the rope had made, the earlier bruises, and now the deepening red band around her wrist. He sunk to the floor.
“I really am sorry.”
Was he though? He continued to hurt her after all his apologies. “You can’t treat me like that.”
“I know, I just…I just don’t want to lose you again...I can't lose you again.”
“And you think hurting me is the best way to keep me around?” She crouched beside him.
“No. No, I don’t, and I know it is no excuse, but I can’t seem to control myself around you.”
“Listen, I told David that he can’t call me anymore, but if he does, you can’t take that out on me. I will be loyal to you. Okay?”
“Yes.”
“Britton, I am so sorry….I’m so sorry.”
Jagger repeated the words as he held her in his arms and began to kiss the top of her head. The tighter they held each other, the lower his kisses would travel: her forehead, her eyebrows, her cheeks, her nose, and then finally, her lips. He drew away and his eyes bore into hers.
“Britton…I love you. I never stopped loving you.”
His hand wrapped around the back of her neck and pulled her in. He played with her lower lip, wanting more and more of her with every nip. His mouth took over hers and Britton’s body went limp. He pulled away again, not refusing his desire to tell her everything.
“I have prayed every day for ten years that you would come back to me, and I have no idea what I have done to deserve it, but here you are. You are the only woman I have ever loved, and I will never let you go again.”
He waited for her reply, hoping that her confession would mirror his. She said nothing, instead focusing on the steady rise and fall of her chest.
“Britton…please say something.”
He dragged her in closer, hoping his touch would spark her words. He kissed her face again, now worried that he had messed something up. He placed his lips on hers, begging for a reaction. She kissed back, slowly at first, then a little faster, and then she took over. The burning in her heart succumbed to the flame, and her only answer was to kiss him even harder.
She lowered him down the short distance to the floor, climbing on top of his hips. She pushed his shoulders to the ground, gazing at his beautiful face. She didn’t know if she wanted to love him or hurt him. Her hate for him was consuming her and she had no idea how to handle it. She brought her face to his and kissed him. He wanted to flip her over and ravage her, but enjoyed the power she was exerting over him. He closed his eyes as their lips met, and felt a cool drop fall to his cheek. Jagger opened his eyes. Why was she crying? Had he done something wrong?
“What is it?”
Britton didn’t say anything, just kissed him again, but he needed to know what she was thinking.
“Britton, please talk to me.” He tried to sit up, but she pushed him down again. Her mouth crushed his, and he felt her tears surge. He wrapped his arms around her back and brought himself up to face her. “Why are you crying? Why aren’t you saying anything?” He was pleading now, feeling his voice choking in his throat. She strained to kiss him again, but he held her at arm’s length. He tried to catch her stare, but she refused to make eye contact. She struggled to push herself forward into him, but he was too strong.
“No.” He said.
“No what?”
“Britton, please tell me what I can do.”
She weakly slapped him across the face. It caught him by surprise, but he was still too concerned with her demeanor to react. When the slap eased the pain within her being, Britton began to punch her fists into his chest. He tried to clutch her closer, but she refused to stop punching. Her moans became cries, and she flailed her arms, having fully given over to her emotions.
Finally, with her energy drained, she collapsed into a fit of tears. Jagger held her to his chest, trying to match her breathing to his. He held his tongue, knowing that she was not ready to speak. What had he done? He had told her he loved her. The last time he had said those words was the night that he thought he lost her. Here he was, ten years later, finding the same words that used to comfort her, that used to make her smile. What was different now?
Her sobbing slowed and her voice trembled through her tears, “Why did you leave me?”
She needed to know. That night had defined her entire existence since then, and now he thought he could glaze over it with a simple ‘I love you’? But she knew he loved her, and the truth was that she loved him too. She couldn’t help herself. Still, they couldn’t just go back to before the accident and pretend they were the same teenagers who everyone envied.
“What?” He thought he knew what she was asking him, but had hoped he was wrong.
“You left me on the side of the road. You left me.” Her cries heightened.
“I had to…”
“So you wouldn’t get arrested?”
“Britton, no.”
“Your not going to jail was more important to you? How can you tell me now that you love me?”
“Because I do. Britton, I love you.”
“Stop it.” She looked straight into his eyes, demanding his attention.
“I cannot stop loving you. I never have.”
“Well, learn to, because I cannot forgive you. Do you know what you did to me? Do you know how messed up I’ve been since then?” She hated to admit it, but at that moment, she was unable to control the outpouring of emotions.
“I’ve been messed up too.”
“You left me, not the other way around. I waited for you. I was in the hospital for a week, and then I waited for you at our secret place for three days. You never came. Never.”
“I couldn’t.”
“You didn’t care.”
“Of course I did.”
“You left me to die, on the ground, in the rain.”
“They were going to kill you.”
She stopped, searching his face. “What?”
Jagger stood up, not ready for his admission. He began to pace.
“Jagger, what does that mean?”
He stopped his stride and faced her. “You know how I told you I was arrested a few times while we were dating?”
“Yes…”
“Well, the leader of the Harbingers at that time…he warned me that if I was arrested again, I wouldn’t be able to protect you any longer.”
Britton failed to form words.
“I tried to leave, to take you away from all of it, but he told me if I ever betrayed him or the club he would find us, and would force me to live in a world without you.” He stopped, choosing his words. “So I had to leave you.”
Tears fell down his face, and she knew his confession was genuine. Never in a hundred years had she thought his reason for leaving her was for her protection.
He waited for her to speak, but she said nothing.
“So I made my way up the ladder, knowing the only way to keep you safe was to take over as president.”
“And you did?”
“I did.”
“How?”
He looked up, not wanting to meet her gaze. “He’s not a problem anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know what that means.”
“Jagger, I need to hear it.”
He looked up to the ceiling. “I killed him.”
“What?”
“Britton, I had to. He always held that over me. He’s the reason I knew you were in Washington. He had people watching you. I couldn’t…”
He had people watching her? How long was that going on? Did he know she was at Quantico? Her heart began to race.
“How long?”
“Six years: your last two years of high school and all four years of college. I couldn’t let it go on longer than that because I was hoping you’d come home.”
So he didn’t know. He just knew that she had graduated four years ago. She was safe. Her head was spinning. He was protecting her? All these years she had spent hating him, and he was keeping her safe. What was she supposed to do?
“Please say something.” He implored.
“I’ve spent ten years hating you. I don’t know anything else.”
He hung his head. “I understand.” He was defeated. He wanted her forgiveness more than anything, but didn’t even know if he deserved it. After all, he did leave her without any explanation. He still hated himself for that night.
Britton saw the pain take over his face. It wasn’t what she wanted. She released her reservations and threw her arms around him. Neither said anything, they only continued to embrace each other. They returned each other’s squeeze with an even harder one, until finally Britton found the courage to speak. She nipped his ear lobe and whispered, “I could never stop loving you.”
Jagger sighed, allowing a smile to spread across his face. He grabbed her leg, wrapping it around his hip. He wanted her to feel how much he wanted her. He pulled his face from hers, silently asking for her approval. She nodded in return, and he lifted her off the ground and tossed her onto the bed. He climbed on top of her, ripping the buttons off her jeans. She screamed with excitement as he slid the denim down her legs.
He reached into his back pocket and produced a pocketknife. Britton’s body tensed, unaware of his intentions. He popped open the blade and lowered it to her cheek. The metal was cold and it stirred the passion in the pit of her stomach. He gently skated it down her neck, to the tip of her sternum. It traveled slowly under the collar of her shirt, and as he beamed at her, he raced his hand down, tearing her shirt in the process. Britton wanted him. Her excitement was real. It was more real than anything she had ever experienced. Jagger then took the blade and outlined her red-laced bra. He slid the blade between her breasts and drew up, ripping the thin material. She was naked, exposed.
He took her in, feeling the freedom of nothing but honesty between them. He loved her, and she loved him. Nothing would ever change that. He brought his lips to her breast, sucking at her peak. She moaned, and he returned by squeezing her nipple between his capable fingers. He could do that for hours, but her moans became louder and harder and he needed to satisfy his lust. His kisses lowered, crossing her belly button and biting at her inner thigh. She pushed into him, begging for more. He answered by swiftly attacking her with his tongue. He sucked, pulling his lips closer to her warmth. He peeked his eyes up to her, enjoying the ecstasy spreading over her face. He hummed in approval, causing her to squeal. He continued his game, secretly freeing his erection from its confines. He blew his cool breath and slid his body up hers. He looked into her eyes, wanting nothing more than to see her.
“I love you.”
And with his words, he pushed into her, possessing her screams. He wanted to be closer, further into her. He spread her toned legs and lifted his chest off of her. He needed to watch her reaction to his passionate attention. This was the woman he loved, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and the woman he wanted to bare his children. He would devote every bit of power he had to ensuring her happiness.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
They were on the road again, she was on the back of his Harley clutching his waist for dear life as he sped off down the highway back to the warehouse. Britton’s mind was racing, her thoughts barely audible over the roaring of the motorcycle's engine. She was absolutely in love with this man, and yet her job was to arrest him and ensure that he never left the inside of a jail cell. How could she do that now? Everything he did was to protect her...even if he was a killer and a drug kingpin.
“Did everyone accept you as the leader after you…got rid of that guy?” She leaned in and screamed into his ear.
It was not what he wanted to talk about, but he wasn’t about to close up now. “Yes. The man before me was hateful, vindictive, and reckless. They were happy to see him go.”
“Is everyone scared of you?”
“No. I’ve changed a lot of things. Maybe what we do isn't exactly legal, but I would never put anyone in harm’s way.”
“So it’s mostly drugs?”
“Drugs, guns, escorts…”
“Like you’re a pimp?” She knew what an escort service was, but decided to play innoce
nt.
“No I’m not a pimp! Who do you think I am? And escorts are not illegal, but it’s an added service we provide to our customers.”
“And since it’s legal, it’s easier to account for the money you’re making in other areas?”
“Essentially, yes.”
He just admitted to money laundering. It was surprisingly easy to get him to incriminate himself once she was on his good side. Now if only she knew what to do with that information.
“And everyone who works for you…”
“Most of us came from broken or abusive homes, and never really felt like we belonged anywhere. That’s why we say we’re a family. We don’t know any other.”
“Must be nice…” She always yearned for that.
“Britton, they’re your family now too.”
She smiled at him, wanting nothing more than for that to be true. But what would happen when the Feds closed in? They would all feel betrayed. Especially Jagger. Especially Dominic. How could she continue with this operation? Better yet, how could she get out of this operation?
They pulled up to the warehouse and Dom was standing outside, waving. He had his arm around a pretty blonde girl and was holding a small boy.
“Hey guys!”
“Hey Dom, hey Cindy.” Jagger dropped his kickstand and killed the engine. He helped Britton off the bike before he ran over and snatched the child out of Dominic’s arms. “And hello Matty!” He threw him up in the air and he screamed with laughter.